by Anna Jacobs
There was dead silence in the room, then Paul reached for his mother’s hand again.
She sat there numbly, feeling sick with horror. And guilt. She’d left him – and he’d been ill. What sort of woman did that? ‘I thought he was having an affair.’ She burst into tears.
Paul hugged her, Sally thrust a tissue into her hand and the doctor glanced at his watch.
Nicole forced herself to calm down. ‘Sorry. It was the shock. Go on, Doctor.’
‘We’d like to make sure our diagnosis is correct. We’ve done a CT scan and we’d like to do an MRI scan tomorrow.’
‘How is he?’
He sighed and seemed to be bracing himself to speak, so she knew it wasn’t good news.
‘Only semi-conscious, I’m afraid. We suspect the cancer has metastasised and is now affecting both mental and physical functions.’
‘Can I see him?’
‘Yes, of course. But I’d better warn you that he probably won’t recognise you. He’s drifting in and out of consciousness at the moment. If you wait here, one of the nurses will let you know when we’ve got him settled in the ward. And perhaps you can bring him some things from home tomorrow? If he regains consciousness, he’ll be happier with something familiar to hand. We … um, are never quite sure how people will be affected when we get to this stage.’
She stared at him in horror at this further shock. If Sam regained consciousness? If?
When the doctor had left, Sally asked, ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’
‘I don’t know. I can’t seem to think straight. Give me a minute or two to get my head round it.’
They left her in peace but she couldn’t seem to focus. She looked up and it was Kieran she turned to instinctively. ‘What am I going to do?’
‘Take one step at a time,’ he said gently. ‘It was the best advice I received after my accident, when I didn’t know if I’d walk again.’
‘Yes. You’re right. First I have to see him. I can’t do anything till I’ve seen for myself how he is. And then—’ She shook her head and winced at the jolt of pain.
‘Then you need to rest. Shall you be going back to live in your house now?’
Nicole shuddered. ‘No. I’m still afraid of William.’ She turned to Paul. ‘I have a spare bedroom in my flat. It’s not very big, but you could stay there with me until – until we see our way clear.’
He gulped and nodded. ‘Thanks, Mum. I was terrified of going back home. I’ve put extra bolts on the inside of my bedroom door, but William could easily kick it in.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me he was bullying you?’ Nicole burst out. ‘I’d have taken you with me when I left.’
‘It’s not the sort of thing you talk about. What a wimp I’d sound, afraid of my own brother. And really, he mostly left me alone. I didn’t have any money, you see. He used to take it out of your purse sometimes, boasted about that.’
She stared at him open-mouthed. ‘I just thought prices were going up quickly.’ After a moment she added, ‘I was afraid of him too.’
‘A difficult situation,’ Sally said. ‘There is help available, you know. Grown-up children do bully parents, and if they have mental health problems it’s even harder for families to deal with this on their own. One of your next steps might be to seek professional help.’
‘Mental health problems!’ That phrase again. She was finding it hard to come to terms with it. ‘The trouble is, William knows where I live. He followed me to the flat from the library last night.’
‘I’m sure the police will keep an eye on the flat.’
‘But by the time they get there, he could have … done anything.’
‘Why don’t you and Paul both stay with me, for tonight at least?’ Kieran suggested. I have two spare bedrooms and you’ll rarely be on your own there, because I don’t go out much.’
‘We can’t impose,’ she said automatically.
‘You need help.’ He looked at Paul. ‘Tell your mother it’s a done deal. We’ll make your flat more secure tomorrow, then you can go back if you want.’
‘He’s right, Mum. We can’t be on our own just now. William could beat up the pair of us with no trouble. You should have seen him today. He took the money out of Dad’s wallet while Dad was lying on the bed. Sally was standing there. She’ll tell you.’
‘I didn’t like to confront him, either,’ she said. ‘He’s – frightening. There’s a wild look in his eyes.’
Kieran nodded. ‘That’s settled, then. You’re both coming to stay with me. So that’s another step planned. After you’ve had a rest, you’ll be able to see your way more clearly.’
It was surprising how often she wanted to nod. She stopped herself and said, ‘Yes’.
A nurse poked her head into the room. ‘Mrs Gainsford? You can see your husband now. Only five minutes, though.’
Paul and Kieran stood up, too.
The nurse shook her head. ‘Only one visitor, I’m afraid.’
‘We’ll wait outside his room,’ Kieran said. ‘Mrs Gainsford is in some danger at the moment from a – a stalker, and she can’t be left on her own.’
The nurse goggled at them. ‘What about Mr Gainsford?’
‘I think he’ll be safe, but don’t let his son William in to see him.’
‘Tell me that name again when we get up to the ward. I’ll write it down and warn the others.’
Nicole went into the room reluctantly, wishing Kieran was with her. It was all too easy to rely on him.
She stood by the bed looking down at her husband, only at the moment he didn’t look much like Sam. He looked years older, more like her father-in-law. Which reminded her, she’d have to get in touch with Sam’s parents and let them know their son was terminally ill. And tell them about William. She did hope the police would have caught him by then.
Tears welled in her eyes. The estrangement between her and Sam wasn’t only because of the changes associated with the tumour, but those changes in behaviour had certainly weighed heavily on her decision to leave. And she’d been so mistaken about him having an affair. Guilt sat like a heavy stone inside her chest.
And yet, how could she have known he had a brain tumour?
She bent over to kiss his cheek and he muttered something indistinguishable without opening his eyes.
Someone came to join her, another nurse. ‘He’s not in any pain, Mrs Gainsford,’ he said quietly.
‘How can we be sure?’
‘We’re pretty sure.’ He glanced at Nicole’s bandage. ‘Now, you look like you’ve been in the wars too and need your rest. Go home and take it easy.’
‘If my other son comes here – William – he’s dangerous. You should call the police. They’re looking for him. But I don’t think he will come.’
‘That’s partly what I came in to see you about. My colleague told me. What does your son look like?’
‘He’s about six foot tall, muscular, with dark hair and eyes, and a – a fierce expression, that’s the only way to describe it. The police are looking for him.’
‘Very well. I’ll put that in your husband’s notes.’
With a final glance back at Sam, Nicole left the room. She found Paul and Kieran outside, chatting in lowered voices. They both broke off, then Paul came forward.
‘How is he, Mum?’
‘Not really conscious. Shall I ask if you can see him, just for a minute?’
‘No. I don’t want to see him again, not like that.’
‘We’ll go to my place, then,’ Kieran said. ‘Do you want to go home first to pick up some clothes, Paul?’
He shook his head. ‘I’d rather do that with the police nearby.’
‘You’re that scared of William?’ Nicole was aghast.
‘I am now. You didn’t see him today. He was, like, Aggro-Man.’
Janey was sitting quietly, playing card games on her computer and thinking of going to bed. When she heard a car, she went to the window. Living alone made you nosy, she’d found
.
The garage door began to roll up and the light inside showed her that it was Kieran. He had the kind librarian with him, as well as a lad. They drove into the garage and the door rolled down on them. There must be another way inside the building from the garage because they didn’t come out.
Were the woman and boy staying here? As far as Janey was concerned, the more people there were around her, the better. She’d been feeling jittery this evening, worrying about her father and Gary, worrying that either or both of them might come after her.
Her parents had never believed her when she said she’d been forced. They’d think she’d gone crazy if she told them it was Gary. She hadn’t said a word about him to anyone because he’d threatened to kill her if she revealed who’d raped her. And she’d believed him.
If he’d thumped her about, it’d have been easier to prove, but by the time she realised what he was doing that night, he’d had handcuffs on her and she’d been helpless.
She felt fairly safe here, but if Gary came near her again, she was going to tell the world who’d raped her. If he tried to hurt her again, she’d make sure he got in trouble about it. But surely a man in his position had too much to lose to mess around with her again?
She’d always hated him. He was as chauvinistic as her father. No wonder he’d not got promoted. She’d heard him complaining to her father about that more than once, saying they only wanted toffee-nosed, squeaky-clean policemen these days, some of them trained at university. If they listened to men like him, men who knew what the world was really like, they’d solve a lot more crimes.
With a sigh she went to bed, not forgetting to slide the bolt on the outer door and jam the chair under the handle. She always kept the door locked, even in the daytime, but one little lock never felt quite enough to keep her safe.
Kieran led the way inside. He was in considerable pain now, but it didn’t seem to matter as much as before. What was much more important was making sure Nicole got a good night’s sleep.
‘Drinking chocolate?’ he asked. ‘Old-fashioned, but so comforting.’
‘Yes, please.’
Paul looked at him doubtfully.
‘If you’re hungry, there’s plenty to eat.’
‘I am a bit hungry.’
‘I’ll get him something,’ Nicole said automatically.
‘You’re to go to bed and get the rest you need or you’ll not be fit to face tomorrow. I’ll look after Paul.’ He smiled at her, wanting to give her a hug, she looked so forlorn, but knowing she’d not want him to do that in front of her son. Would she want him to do that if they were on their own? He hoped so.
‘Well, if you’re sure,’ she said, rubbing her forehead.
‘Go to bed, Mum.’
In the kitchen Kieran asked, ‘Toasted cheese sandwiches or a bowl of cereal?’
‘Um – could I have both? I’ve not had much to eat lately and I feel empty.’
‘Of course. Here, take your choice of cereal and I’ll make some toasties. I’m a bit peckish myself.’
There was silence but from the way Paul shovelled the muesli down, he hadn’t been exaggerating his hunger.
‘Here you are.’ Kieran shoved the cheese toasties across and watched the lad demolish those as well. He ate his own more slowly. ‘There’s plenty of fruit. Just help yourself.’
‘Are you sure? Mum’ll pay you back.’
‘I don’t need paying back. If I can’t help a friend, I’m not much of a person.’
Paul picked out a banana and started to peel it. ‘Have you known Mum for long?’
‘No. Only since she moved into the flat. But sometimes you get on with people straight away. And she was a big help to me.’
‘Oh?’
‘Yes. I’d been recovering from an accident for nearly a year and I was stuck in a rut. Your mother needed help and that made me feel useful again. I was able to start driving and oh, feel more optimistic about the future.’
‘I don’t know what’s going to happen to me.’
‘You have your mother. Whatever happens, you’ll not be alone.’ He was glad to see the lad’s face brighten and judged it time to end the confidences for now. ‘Right, then, let’s make up your bed.’
‘If you give me the sheets and stuff, I can do that. I’m never going to be like William and expect everyone to do things for me.’
Kieran was touched by this, and by Paul’s earnest expression, neither child nor man. How could a woman have two sons so different? It must upset her. ‘OK. Thanks. I’ll lend you some shorts and a tee shirt to sleep in, if you like.’
He went to bed, lying there for a few minutes while another half dose of painkiller kicked in, thinking what a nice lad Paul was and how lucky Nicole was to have him.
He wished suddenly that he had a son to carry on his name and genes.
Chapter Fifteen
It was a fine day and since she didn’t have any classes to attend, Janey decided to go for a walk. As she was carrying Millie down the stairs, Kieran came out of his flat and waited for her to strap the baby into the buggy before holding the door open.
‘Going for a walk?’
‘Yes. It’s quite a nice day, isn’t it?’
‘It is. Nearly March now. Spring is in the air.’
Whistling cheerfully, something she’d never heard him do before, he went back into the flat. It was such a happy sound, that whistle. It made her smile. And he was right. There was a feel of spring in the air, just a hint, enough to make your blood stir and your spirits rise.
As she was walking up the road, she heard a car come out of the flats behind her and glanced sideways to see three people sitting in it. The librarian and her son were with Kieran again. Was it their presence that was cheering him up? If so, she hoped they’d stay.
Oh, to have a car! It’d make her life so much easier. But she’d still go for walks because she loved being out in the fresh air.
Of course she headed for the allotments first, because she liked chatting to Mr Shackleton and knew he enjoyed company. He was there as usual, this time turning over the soil at one end of his plot. As soon as he saw her, he beckoned. ‘You’re just in time for a cuppa!’
She’d had a cup of tea before she left the flat but accepted his offer anyway. ‘It looks like good soil, nice and dark.’
‘Yes. Best Wiltshire, that is. You can grow anything in soil like that. Wait till you taste my runner beans.’
As they were waiting for the tea to brew, Dawn came into the allotments and walked briskly across to join them.
‘Hello, Dawn,’ he called. ‘Haven’t seen you for a while.’
‘I’ve been even busier than usual. Have you got a spare cuppa, Mr S? And a spare minute, too? I’d like to talk to you about something and ask your advice.’
‘I can leave if it’s private,’ Janey offered at once.
‘No, don’t do that,’ Dawn said. ‘It’s not at all private and another opinion is always helpful. How are things going, Janey? I can see your Millie is thriving. Just look at that smile.’ She turned back to Dan and said in a gentler tone, ‘I was sorry to hear about Peggy.’
‘Thank you.’ He busied himself with the tea, then passed the mugs to them. ‘Right then, what can I do for you, Dawn?’
‘I’m thinking of starting a shared gardens scheme.’
‘What’s that?’ Janey asked.
‘It’s when people who have too much garden to cope with let other people use it to grow vegetables, in return for a share of the produce. It’s usually the gardens of older people who can’t do the heavy work any longer or else people who’re too busy or are simply not interested in gardening. And there are people in flats who’d love a bit of garden, or mad-keen gardeners who’d like more land.’
‘I’m one of the ones in a flat,’ Janey said at once. ‘I love getting my hands into the soil, and you can’t beat home-grown fruit and vegetables. Nothing you buy at the shops tastes half as good.’
‘It’s a great idea!
’ Dan said. ‘People can wait years to get allotments in this town. What can I do to help?’
‘Well – and you must say no if it’s too much to ask – I’d be happy if you’d help generally, but specifically I’d love you to advise people who aren’t used to gardening. You know, be our resident expert. You’ve not only got green fingers, you always seem to know the science behind what you’re doing.’
He beamed at her. ‘What a nice compliment! And I’d love to do that. Just what I need to keep me busy … now.’ Then he nodded towards Janey. ‘And this lass can be the first on our list to garden share.’
Dawn looked at her doubtfully. ‘People your age don’t usually want to be responsible for a garden.’
‘I love gardening. I used to help my granddad, and after he died, I grew vegetables for my parents. My father didn’t enjoy gardening and he didn’t like me going out with friends, but he approved of that because it saved us money. And it got me out of the house.’
‘Then you can be our guinea pig.’
An idea started growing in Janey’s head as she listened to them talking about how they could organise it. When there was a break in the conversation, she said, ‘Um – I think I know someone who’d love to share her garden, if you want to try it out before you go public. It upsets her that she can’t look after it and it’s a really big garden. You know her, too, Miss Parfitt who lives in the big house at the end of Peppercorn Street.’
‘I should have thought of Winifred myself. Good idea, Janey. Let’s go and see her today.’ Dawn looked at her watch. ‘Oh no, is that really the time?’ She drained her cup. ‘I can’t fit her in today. I’ll have to try to find time tomorrow.’
‘I could call and see her, if you like,’ Janey said. ‘Give her a rough idea of what you want to do, so she can think about it.’
She knew Dan was lonely and guessed that Miss Parfitt was too. Suddenly her idea expanded. ‘Though it might be better if Mr Shackleton came with me. He could check out the garden and think how to divide it up. We could practise on it, couldn’t we, Mr Shackleton? If you don’t think I’m too young to take part, that is.’