I’m not going to judge him.
At the end of the day he’s still Tane, and everyone deserves a chance at redemption.
“I think this conversation shouldn’t be included in what constitutes date number one,” he suggests.
My lip twitches. “Deal.”
*****
“Justin and Parker want to go to the beach,” Levi says as he walks into his kitchen. I put down my glass of milk and grin at him.
“They do, or you do?”
His lip twitches. “All of us do. Are you coming?”
“Sure, give me ten minutes to get changed,” I tell him, walking to the guest room and changing into my red bikini. I put a pair of black board-shorts over the bottom, then slide my feet into my polka-dot-printed thongs. I grab my beach bag, sunscreen and a couple of towels, along with Justin’s and Parker’s swimwear.
The kids have several changes of clothes that stay here. They spend so much time at Levi and Gage’s that it’s just more practical that way. Beach gear in particular is vital, since we always end up in swimwear, especially if Levi is involved.
I walk out and don’t miss Levi’s gaze lingering on my body. For the first time it makes me a little uncomfortable. I try not to dwell on it. I head into Gage’s room where I find the two boys watching Frozen.
“Do you two want to go to the beach?” I ask them.
I take their screaming as a yes. After both of them are dressed, we get in Levi’s car.
“So, how’s things with Tane?” he asks casually, keeping his gaze straight ahead.
I shrug, even though he can’t see the motion. “He’s really good with Parker.”
“That’s not what I asked, Giselle,” Levi says, followed by a sigh.
“We’re not a couple, if that’s what you’re asking. He did take me out on a date the other night though,” I add, because I don’t want to lead him on. I don’t want to hurt Levi. He is one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met; he just isn’t for me. Whoever does land him will be one of the luckiest women in the world.
“So you’re … dating, then?” he replies, disappointment lacing his voice.
“Levi …” I whisper.
“I know, I know,” he replies. “It just sucks.”
“Uncle Levi said a bad word,” Parker calls out.
I roll my eyes. “Uncle Levi can say it. You can’t.”
“Well, that’s not fair,” he says from the back seat, sniffing.
“Nothing in life is fair,” Levi says under his breath.
I sigh.
“I can see the water,” Parker calls out, pointing towards the strip of blue visible ahead. Justin cheers with him.
Levi grins, and the atmosphere in the car turns playful. “Hope you two are ready to catch some waves.”
More cheering.
I glance at Levi and smile at him. He smiles back, letting me know that no matter what we are going to be okay.
Chapter Fourteen
Giselle
Second-date night rolls around. This time I pick him up. He hadn’t been happy about that, but I insisted. When I pull into his driveway, I have to admit his house is beautiful. Located right along the beach, it’s simple yet modern. Elegant, almost. I get out of the car and approach the door. It opens before I can knock.
Tane looks fantastic. He’s wearing dark jeans that are tucked into black boots. He’s wearing a tight black V-neck that is partially covered by a denim long-sleeved button up. He leans down and kisses me on the cheek.
“You look great,” I say with a smile.
“You look better,” he responds with a wink. “Want a quick tour of my house?”
“Sure.” I step in and am surprised by how homey the place is. “Did it come furnished?”
Tane smiles at me. “Why? You don’t think I can choose tasteful furniture?”
“Well,” I begin, “I’m sure you could if you really tried, I’m just doubtful.”
He narrows his eyes at me playfully. “I picked it all out myself. I used catalogues, but it still counts.”
“Ahhh,” I say, nodding. “You copied it all from magazines, got it.”
He pinches my butt lightly, and it’s my turn to narrow my eyes at him. “Come on,” he says, taking me through to the living area. It’s gorgeous, with comfy suede couches and a big screen fitted on the wall. The kitchen is simple and spacious with little to no clutter. I’m not sure if he’s a clean freak or just doesn’t have much cooking equipment, but it makes me feel a little self-conscious about my small, compact kitchen.
When he takes me into the hall and we come to a door that reads Parker in cute blue letters, my heart skips a beat. He already decorated a room for Parker?
My breath leaves me when we enter. The room is beautiful. The indigo-coloured walls look amazing against all the matching white furniture. There is a carpet on the floor with a racetrack on it, and the cars and trains scattered around the place are evidence that Parker enjoys playing there. There is even a proper mini train-track.
I turn around and hug Tane. I can’t help it. “It’s amazing, Tane!”
His cheeks redden. “I’m glad you like it.”
I look at the time. “We should get going.”
“Alright,” Tane says leading me out of the room. “So, what movie are we seeing?”
“It’s a surprise,” I say.
*****
“Next time I’m picking the movie,” he announces as we drive home.
“I guess that’s fair,” I reply with a chuckle. Okay, so I didn’t have to choose a chick flick, but I did it anyway. On purpose. “So I guess this means date night is over, and now I get to ask my question.”
He chuckles. “Alright then. I’ve been bracing myself for this all night.”
I take a deep breath before I talk. “When we had our one-night stand,” I watch as he cringes, “to me it didn’t feel like a night of meaningless sex. I don’t know if it was just because it was you, but to me it felt more than that. What was going through your head that night?”
He swallows. “You probably won’t believe me when I say this, and I did try to tell you this before, but you weren’t like the others. I knew it. Something was different.” He looks at me in earnest. “In the morning, I saw you lying there, hair all over the pillow. I thought it might be you. I hoped it was. The previous night was completely blurred and hazy, but I remembered flashes of it. Of your eyes. I went to get you breakfast. I didn’t leave a note. I should have left a fucking note,” he mutters the last few words to himself.
“Wait, you were going to come back to me in the morning?” I ask, my jaw dropping open. You have got to be kidding me.
He sighs. “I woke up and thought I was fucking dreaming. You looked so different. I thought maybe it was you, but I wasn’t sure. Why would you have come to me without a word? I went and got us breakfast, but when I came back you were gone. Then I told myself it definitely wasn’t you, because you would never just leave like that.”
“Holy shit,” I whisper.
“It was karma,” he says, laughing without humour. “How many times had I done that to other women, and then the one woman I wanted to stay with …?”
“Hey, I didn’t leave you. I thought you had walked out when you didn’t return,” I say defensively. “And there were no personal belongings in the room, what was I supposed to think?”
“I went around the corner to get food; I was probably only gone twenty minutes. There was a line. And I’d left my bag inside the mirrored sliding door.”
We’re both quiet after that, lost in our own thoughts.
“I’m glad you told me that,” I finally say. It’s nice to know that he felt something, anything that night. Still, it’s a bit weird to wrap my head around, because technically, he didn’t realise it was me. Still, I put that to the side and just embrace the fact that he had felt a connection.
“You know what, I have a question for you now,” he says suddenly, making me feel a little nervous.
“You and Levi: what’s the deal with that?” he asks, and I cringe. I don’t know why I’m surprised he’s asking me about this, but I am.
I clear my throat. “When Parker was about one we dated for a while, but we decided we’re better off as friends.” By we, I mean me.
“How long did you date?” he asks in a tone that tells me he’s none too pleased about my news.
“Six months?” I reply, making it sound like a question.
“So you slept together,” he says to himself. “Great. I think it was better when I didn’t know.”
I completely agree with that statement. “It’s in the past,” I say softly. “We’re trying to move forward, right?”
He nods, looking tense, but saying nothing. I puff out a breath and look out the window.
When we pull up at Gage’s house to pick up Parker, Tane says, “How about on the next date night we take Parker with us?”
I smile. “I think that sounds great.”
“Good because I have an idea.”
“Are you going to share it with me?” I ask.
He grins. “Not yet, but Parker will love it.”
Levi walks out holding Parker, and the smile drops from Tane’s face. He opens the door to get out.
“I’ll get Parker,” I tell him quickly.
I get out of the car and open the back door to put Parker in his car seat. “Hey, Levi.”
“Hey Giselle, you look beautiful, as always,” he says, leaning into the car and buckling a sleeping Parker in his car seat. “Hey Tane.”
“Levi,” Tane replies shortly.
Oh, boy.
Levi flashes me a knowing grin. “How was date night?”
“Good, how was Parker?”
“A delight,” Levi replies, shutting the door closed gently.
“Where’s Gage?” I ask, looking behind him.
Levi coughs. “He had a date.”
I gape. “No way. Like, an actual date?”
He laughs. “Yeah, flowers and all.”
“Holy shit. I’m sorry; if I had known Gage had plans tonight I wouldn’t have just left you to watch Parker.”
“You know I don’t mind,” he says with a shrug. “I had no plans.”
I offer him a small smile. “I better get going. I’ll see you next weekend.”
We say bye, and I get back into the car.
“He still wants you,” Tane says when we’re almost at his house.
“We’re just friends,” I reply. He’s my family. How do I explain that? I won’t ever turn my back on Levi. He and Gage were there for me when no one else was. Such loyalty and friendship should never be taken for granted.
“Will you stay the night?” he asks as we pull into his driveway.
When I hesitate, he adds, “Just to sleep.”
“Okay,” I reply. We’re already at his house. It makes sense, right?
Tane carries Parker as I take his keys and unlock the front door, then tuck him in bed.
“Do you have a t-shirt I can sleep in?” I ask him a little shyly. He smiles and pulls me by my hand into his bedroom. I look around as he digs into his drawer, finally pulling out a worn blue t-shirt that I recognise instantly.
“I can’t believe you still have that,” I say, pulling it from his hands. It used to be my favourite t-shirt of his, back when he was seventeen. I lift it to my nose and smell it. “I love this shirt.”
“I remember,” he says, chuckling.
I’m caught off-guard when he leans down and kisses my lips.
Wow.
My eyes flutter closed, but the kiss is finished before it began. The touch was brief, chaste, and sweet.
Tender.
It leaves me wanting more, but also feeling slightly dazed.
“You k … kissed me.”
“I did, and I hope I can do it again soon,” he says, eyes dancing with amusement. At my reaction, maybe?
I could get used to kissing Tane every day.
“Get changed. I’ll make us some hot chocolate,” he says, smiling at me before walking away.
I bring my fingers to my lips.
Then I smile.
*****
I lay in bed next to him, his arms wrapped around me and smile.
It’s the best sleep I think I’ve ever had.
*****
I’m happy I don’t have to wait until next week for the next date. Two dates in two days is breaking the agreement, but I don’t even care. I can’t hide the fact that I want to spend more time with Tane. Things are moving slowly, which is what I need, and I find myself thinking about him more and more.
Today he takes Parker and me to the water theme-park. It’s hectic, people are everywhere, but I’ve never seen Parker have so much fun. He insists that Tane and I each hold one of his hands because that’s what families do. It makes me so happy to see him so excited about having Tane in his life.
We take Parker on every ride. He even goes down the steepest water slides, though he refuses to go without Tane. Seeing Tane climb awkwardly onto the slides is hilarious; they definitely aren’t designed for such a big body. After having lunch on the grass area, we go for a swim. Now we’re chilling out eating ice creams.
“This was the funnest day ever,” Parker calls out, face bright and excited.
“Funnest isn’t a word,” I try to explain, as he jumps up and down.
Tane laughs. “Told you he would love it. But I don’t think this counts as a date.”
“Why? Are you trying to get out of your question?” I ask, grinning at him. He’s standing in front of me wearing nothing but a pair of black board-shorts, sitting low on his narrow hips. His body is lean and toned, like an athlete. He’s caught me staring at him a few times but hasn’t called me out on it … yet. My eyes once again roam over his smooth, tanned chest and his broad shoulders.
Fuck.
I clear my throat and look away and down at my ice cream. Much safer option.
“Are you ready to go home, buddy?” Tane asks his son.
“Dad! One more ride? Please?” Parker begs, using his puppy-dog eyes to his best ability.
“Okay,” Tane says, smiling, before he looks to me. “Do you want to come or shall I quickly take him?”
“You can take him,” I tell him, pointing at my melting ice cream.
His smile is warm. “We’ll be right back.”
I watch their retreating backs as they walk side by side, and I know I’ve made the right choice in letting Tane back into our lives.
Chapter Fifteen
Tane
We get home around seven o’clock, and Parker is beat.
“I’m just gonna put him to sleep. Make yourself comfortable,” Giselle tells me with a smile.
“Do you mind if I do it?” I ask tentatively. I want to get used to doing these things.
She looks a bit surprised, but nods.
“Come on, little man,” I say to Parker, who’s standing there, rubbing his eyes. He comes and takes my hand and I lead him to his bedroom.
I change him into his pyjamas, not worrying about a bath since he had a rinse-off after the swim. I tuck him into bed and sit down on the small cushion next to it. I’m sure Giselle could sit comfortably on it, but for a man of my size it’s a bit of a challenge to stay on.
“Daddy, are you going to come live here?” Parker asks, surprising me out of my balancing act. I fall off the cushion and look over at him.
I have no idea what to say.
“Why do you ask, Parker?” I bide my time, thinking of a way to answer. I don’t want to give him false hope, but I don’t want to crush that dream either.
“Bobby Pritchett’s dad lives with him. I’d like you to live here. Then we could do fun stuff all the time, and you and mama could tuck me in,” he says, the words rushing out of him.
“Well Bobby Pritchett is very lucky,” I begin. “For now, I will still be living at my house on the beach, okay? Maybe it wi
ll change later, but for now let’s just have lots of fun when we can, alright?”
Parker scrunches his nose in thought before nodding sleepily. “That’s okay I guess.”
“Shall we read a story?” I ask, hoping to cheer him up.
“Mm-kay,” he says. I get about three pages in before he’s fast asleep. I close the book and place it back on his bookshelf. Tiptoeing out of his room, I walk back into the kitchen where a freshly-showered Giselle is drinking a cup of coffee.
“I made you a cup,” she says as the blows into her own.
“Thanks,” I reply, sitting down on the stool next to her. “He’s going to get a good night’s sleep. He was exhausted.” I don’t mention the conversation with Parker to her. I don’t want her to feel pressured, and I feel like I handled his questions well enough.
“I’ll bet. Thanks for taking us out today. We both had a blast.”
“So did I. We should do it again soon,” I reply, then clear my throat. “You forgot to ask your question.”
She smiles shyly. “I didn’t forget. I’ve been thinking about what to ask.”
“And?”
“And, I think I’d like to know about your cousin, Keiran,” she says quietly. The temperature seems to drop a few degrees as that settles in the air.
I look down into my mug then place it on the table. “When I left Perth, I went to London to stay with him. He was good. I mean, he was loyal and caring, but he also had a bit of a wild side.”
“So what happened?” she asks, leaning her elbows on the table.
“I told you about how I started DJing at one of the local clubs there. Keiran was already dabbling in drugs when I moved in with him, but when we entered the club scene it got worse. I got better and better at mixing tracks and producing, working my way up, and started playing at some of the best clubs all over Europe.”
I pause, inhaling and exhaling deeply. “Drugs, women, money … At first it was just a few E pills. Then we were heavy on coke. We were barely sleeping for days at a time. The pills we were taking to come down just weren’t cutting it anymore, and then at one festival we were offered heroin. That was always my hard limit, but I was so out of my mind that night, I tried it. We agreed, just this once. It numbed my pain unlike anything I’d ever had … One time turned into … more than once …”
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