“I have to go.”
He rubbed his hands down his face and then pushed them through his hair. It went all over the place but, somehow, he ended up looking even sexier.
“Why?”
“I have to go home.”
He growled and stepped towards me. “To your ex?”
I shook my head. “To DC.”
“No. It’s too early. Just come back to bed.”
“I can’t. I have to go, Alex.”
He went back to his room and came back out a few seconds later with a pair of pajama bottoms hanging low on his hips.
“You can stay here. Stay until you get on your feet.”
Tears filled my eyes and I had to look away so he wouldn’t see them. “There’s nothing for me here in Landing. Everyone treats me like I’m diseased. I came here because of my ex and now it’s time for me to go. I need to put my life back together.”
He sighed. “I can’t make you stay, but I wish you would.”
I nodded and stood up. “I have to go by the motel and grab my wallet, at least. I have to buy a bus ticket and get out of here.”
“I’ll drive you.”
Sam was gone, luckily, so I ran in, grabbed my purse, and quickly packed a bag. I held my tears in all the way to the bus stop. I was confused about how much pain I was feeling. I swear it wasn’t over Sam, or even leaving this place. It pained me to leave Alex. I didn’t know Alex well enough for any of the feelings I was having towards him to be genuine. I bet a shrink would tell me that it was some sort of misplaced something-or-other and that I had transferred feelings I’d wanted to have for Sam over to Alex, or some mumbo-jumbo like that.
Regardless, I felt a massive, weighty sorrow from saying goodbye to this man I barely knew. He insisted on buying the ticket for me, and then slipped his number into my purse while we silently waited for my bus to arrive.
When it did, I stood up on shaky legs and awkwardly backed away from Alex. I was weak and let the tears fall as I turned and got on the bus without hugging him goodbye. I’d never felt anything quite as intense, and the entire ride back to DC was spent crying over this man that I’d known for less than twenty-four hours. I was going home but it had never felt less like home.
CHAPTER 10: Elizabeth
Five Months Later…
I’d arrived in Landing, Wyoming the night before and had stayed in the same motel where Sam and I had lived for those couple weeks. Landing was exactly the same, although, for me, everything about everything had changed. I woke up early, feeling like shit, as usual. My body was revolting. I’d heard of people having easy first trimesters. I wasn’t one of them.
I stood in front of the floor length mirror that was attached to the back of the bathroom door and stared at my body. In my floral sundress, my pregnant belly was slightly blending in. So far, the rest of my body had stayed the same. Except my breasts. They were exploding all over the place.
Pregnant after a one night stand with a stranger. I was living in a Lifetime made for TV movie special.
I’d gone back to DC and had thrown myself into my work. I was fortunate in that I had been offered my old job back. They really didn’t need me, but had hired me back anyway out of the kindness of the boss’s heart. I’d practiced, daily, forcing myself to forget about Alex, although it never really took. I’d dreamt of the big man every single night, and daydreamed about him every single day. I was living in a constant haze, a fog that I hadn’t been able to lift.
The first month back, I’d been able to act like my missed period was nothing. With all the thoughts buzzing around in my head five months ago, on the morning I’d left Landing, I’d forgotten to take the morning after pill. Still, I’d convinced myself that my missed period was due to stress. The first month.
By the end of the second month, I realized that something wasn’t right. I started getting sick in the mornings. When I was finally able to get away from work, I took a pregnancy test and, sure enough, two pink lines. Positive. I was pregnant. Not only that, but I knew, without a doubt, that the baby was Alex’s.
I spent the next couple months arguing with myself about what I should do. The internal conflict was tearing me up. I didn’t want to be that girl. The girl who showed up at some guy she barely knew’s doorstep with stork news. I also didn’t think it was right for me to keep this news from Alex. Maybe he’d want to know. A part of me just wanted to see him; another part worried that I was asking for more heartache. I couldn’t help the fact that I really did want to see him. Something about that man drew me like a moth to a flame. I just hoped I didn’t get burned.
It was scorching hot outside as I walking towards Alex’s trailer. I passed a several people on the way, a few stared at my stomach with wide eyes. How bizarre. I looked down and rubbed it. “It’s okay, little guy. This town is just weird.”
I didn’t know for sure I was having a boy, but I just felt in my gut like I was—a mother’s intuition. I smiled to myself and shook my head. As crazy as it seemed, I felt good about my baby. Everything was tense and up in the air when it came to work and Alex, but I was solid when it came to my protectiveness of my baby. I would be taking good care of this little one.
Alex’s trailer came into view and the little tornadoes in my stomach started turning like crazy again.
His truck wasn’t in the drive, so I didn’t figure he’d be there, but I knocked anyway. Sure enough, no answer.
The next place I looked was the stadium. There were a few cowboys standing around outside, but Alex wasn’t one of them. Sweat was rolling down my chest and face. I started feeling a little panicked.
“Ma’am?” A big guy sent a little wave my way and started over toward me. “Something I can do for ya’?”
I tilted my head. “Yeah. I’m looking for Alex…” Embarrassingly, I didn’t even know his last name.
He grinned and cast a glance at my stomach. “Uh—huh. Alex is at the ranch today.”
I looked around and wiped sweat off my forehead. “How far is that from here?”
“Pretty far. I’m Jason,” he held out his hand and shook mine. “Let me drive you. It’s too hot for you to be out walking.”
I started to shake my head but then nodded. “I should probably refuse to get in a stranger’s car, but this heat has melted my brain.”
He grinned. “I’m not a stranger, anymore. I’m a friend of Alex’s. I also have a wife who’s a little farther along than you, so you’re safe.”
I held my belly. “Is it that noticeable? I thought it was kind of hidden in this dress.”
He laughed. “You’re fine. Come on. Let’s get some air on you.”
At the potential for air conditioning, I shut up. I climbed into his truck and adjusted the vents to point right at me. Jason turned the air on high and then waited until I buckled my seatbelt before putting the truck in gear and heading out of the lot.
“How’s he been?” I felt stupid as soon as I asked it. Was I really expecting to hear that he’d been just as wrecked as me?
“Well, I don’t know. He’s been a little distant from all of us lately. Cranky as hell, now that I think about it.”
I stayed silent the rest of the way. I was desperate to actually see Alex and put my anxiety to rest. Either he’d want to be a part of his child’s life, or he wouldn’t. There was nothing more to it. I just needed to give him the news and accept his answer. I was also hoping that seeing him would calm some of these tornadoes in my belly. Maybe I had falsely built up the connection I’d felt for him in my imagination so much over these last five months and that seeing him would bring me back down to earth. I’d see first-hand that that he was just a normal man, not the demi-god my damned psyche had made him out to be.
Jason made a few turns and then drove us through the gates and under a big sign that read Long Ranch. I looked around and spotted animals and a huge barn. We drove past that and after a few minutes, a large, white house opened up in front of us.
I was shocked by the she
er size of it. I could see people moving around through the large windows in the front of the house and saw a big tent set up out to the side of the house. “What’s happening?”
Jason laughed. “You picked a hell of a time to come back. The annual Long BBQ is tomorrow. Everyone is busy setting it up, looks like.”
I opened the door and climbed down from his truck. “Where should I look for Alex?”
He pointed to the front door. “You knock on that front door there and someone will find him for you, no doubt. Good luck.”
Good luck? That wasn’t exactly reassuring. I waved him away and then headed towards the front door. My stomach rolled.
I stood at the door and looked at the doorbell, with my hand over my stomach. I whispered to the little guy, doing my best to settle both of us. I raised my hand to knock, but the door was yanked open by a young girl who stood staring at me, wide-eyed.
She had the same sandy blonde hair as Alex and the same honey brown eyes. She couldn’t have been any older than thirteen and the excited squeal she let out confirmed that she was definitely a ball of energy. She threw her arms around me and squeezed me tight.
“Oh, my gosh! You’re having a baby!”
I didn’t feel uncomfortable with her little arms around me, so I just rested my hands on her back and let her hug me.
“I am.”
“You’re having Alex’s baby!”
CHAPTER 11: Elizabeth
I pulled back suddenly and frowned.
“How do you know that?”
She grinned a mischievous grin and shrugged.
“I can just tell. Come on. I’ll take you to him. He’s upstairs, working. We’ll get him up, though.”
I dug in my heels, suddenly convinced I’d made a hugely stupid decision coming here.
“I think I’d better wait out here.”
An older woman, just as beautiful and striking as the little girl, stepped into the entry way and stopped short. She looked at my stomach and took a deep breath in. Her eyes went wide and she screamed Alex’s name at the top of her lungs.
I held up my hands and felt my entire body go red.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt. I’ll just go. This was a mistake.”
She rushed towards me and grabbed my hand.
“No, no. I’m sorry to startle you. It’s just not every day a pregnant woman shows up at my doorstep. Bailey, go and get your brother. Now.”
“Really. I think I’d better leave.”
She held my hand in both of hers and met my eyes. “Sweetheart, stay, please. I was just shocked for a moment.”
I let her lead me into a massive kitchen. “How do you know?”
She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and motioned for me to sit down.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t even introduce myself. I’m Carolyn, Alex’s mother. Now, how did I know what?”
I took a sip of the water and looked down at my belly. “How did you know I was here for Alex?”
“I have five sons, but I just knew that you were Alex’s.” She looked behind me and grinned. “There he is. Alex, you’ve got a special visitor.”
I’d already felt him in the room. It was like my body could sense his presence. The closer he got, the more my nerve endings tried to stand up taller to be closer to him. I slowly turned to face him and thanked god that I was sitting down. My entire body seemed to sigh and a tension that I hadn’t even realized was there left my body.
He was just as drop-dead handsome as the last time I’d seen him. His hair was longer and the shadow along his jaw had turned into a full beard, but he was still enough to make my body react instinctively.
I blew out a shaky breath. It wasn’t a fluke. He still affected me the same as before.
“Elizabeth.”
“Hi.” I clenched my water tighter and tried to remember how to breathe.
In the blink of an eye, he was across the kitchen, and had me in his arms. His hug was crushing, but I needed it, for some reason. I felt better than I had in months and, like some sort of magic, my queasy stomach settled down.
“Bailey, come on. I think we need to give your brother some privacy.”
“Are they going to do it? Mates are so gross with the sex stuff.”
Alex growled at his little sister from over my head. “Bailey.”
“Okay, we’re going. Come and find us when you’re done, Alex.” Carolyn sounded happier than earlier, singing her words instead of speaking them.
Alex leaned back and looked down at me. “Hi.”
I bit my lip. “Hi.”
He grinned. “You already said that.”
I felt his eyes dip lower and then felt his muscles stiffen as he breathed in a sharp, deep breath. I knew he was seeing my belly and I knew things weren’t going to be as nice as they’d just been. I pulled away and went back to the counter. “As you can probably see, I gained a little weight while I was away.”
He stuttered out nonsensical words and kept his eyes on my stomach.
“Bad joke, you’re right. I’m actually pregnant. I found out last month and I’ve been trying to think of a better way to tell you, but a singing telegram just didn’t feel right.” I continued babbling as he remained frozen. “Another bad joke. Okay. Well, he’s yours. I just… know. I’ve been to the doctor and he’s healthy. Bigger than normal babies his age, but healthy.”
“He?”
“The man speaks!” I laughed awkwardly and wrung my hands together. “I don’t know for sure yet, but I just have a feeling. I’m sorry to just burst back into your life like this, Alex, but I thought you might want to know.”
He shook his head.
My heart sank. I had envisioned a thousand different scenarios, and this was one of them, but I hadn’t been able to stop my hope from building. There had been something between us that night. There still was, if the way he grabbed me meant anything. Maybe I was mistaken, though.
“Okay. I’m sorry.” I turned to leave and tried to fight the tears back.
“Wait! Where are you going?” He rushed over to me and grabbed my arms. “I didn’t mean no. I’m just… shocked. I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again and then you’re not only here, but carrying my baby…”
I rested my hands on his chest and felt my body respond to his. “I can imagine how big of a shock this is. Why don’t you take some time to process it?”
He frowned down at me. “I don’t need time.”
“You… don’t?”
“Hell, no. He’s mine. My father made me the man I am today. There’s no way I’m leaving this little guy, or girl, without its daddy. Absolutely not.”
The intensity in his eyes hit me right in the chest and I had to look away from him. I wanted him to feel the same intense possession about me, but I knew that was impossible. We didn’t know each other well enough yet. Nothing was making sense with him standing so close. I suddenly felt the walls closing in around my. I needed some air, some space to figure things out.
“I think I need to rest. I’ve been feeling nauseous lately. Is there a cab I can call for a ride back to town?”
“A cab?”
I shifted from foot to foot, feeling a little more than antsy to get away. “I need some space.”
I spun around and rushed to the door. It swung open just as I reached for the doorknob and I charged past the man standing there. I just wanted to get away.
“Elizabeth!”
“Beth?”
I turned too quickly to the right and went down hard on my hands and knees. It knocked the air out of my lungs, but I still managed to croak out the one name I thought I’d never say again. “Sam?”
CHAPTER 12: Alex
My heart was racing in my chest. I’d been dreaming about seeing Elizabeth again since the moment she stepped foot on that bus. I’d been an idiot for letting her leave. I knew she was my mate, yet I didn’t fight for her because I was too busy panicking like a little pussy.
I’d managed to drink m
y way through enough whiskey to float a boat while she’d been away. I’d tried to find her, but I had nothing to go on besides her first name and that she lived in the DC area.
Then, she was there, standing in front of me in my mom’s kitchen, smelling like heaven. It’d taken me a few minutes to realize that she was softer and her smell had changed. She smelled like me. The little cub inside her smelled just like me.
I’d managed to fuck it up, though. I was still hungover and my head was throbbing, and I’d said the wrong thing. All I wanted to do was carry her back to my trailer and keep her by my side where I could watch over her and protect her and the baby. Well, I wanted to sink into her again and again while claiming her, too. I’d smelled her arousal in the air when I hugged her and I was seconds away from hauling her off like a caveman.
I chased her as she ran out of the house, and watched as one of the guys working on setting up the tents called her name. She twisted and then went down hard. My mate was hurt.
I ran to her side and sunk to my knees beside her. “You okay? Talk to me, sweetheart.”
The idiot who’d called her name came closer and I let out a vicious growl at him. He wasn’t getting any closer to Elizabeth. She was mine and I’d kill anyone fucker who tried to take her from me.
Elizabeth coughed and climbed back to her feet. I could smell her blood in the air and it made the animal in me a little wild. I was close to turning and letting my bear loose on everyone around us.
She rested her hands on my shoulders and looked down at me where I was kneeling. “Did you just growl at him?”
“Just letting him know to stay the fuck away.”
She tilted her head to the side. “You know he’s my ex?”
I turned my head to face the little fucker who’d hurt my mate. I stood up and towered over him, reveling in the stench of fear coming off of him. “You’re the fucking idiot who cheated on her?”
Elizabeth held my hand and tugged me towards her. “Come on. Just take me home.”
My bear stood up even taller. “Home? The trailer?”
She nodded. “Um… Yeah… yes. Just don’t do whatever it is you’re thinking of doing.”
Bears of Burden: WYATT Page 90