by Leanne Davis
“What do you mean? And why do you care?”
“My concern is not about you. I care for her. She’s young.”
He shook his head. “Do you ever stop being the savior of all women? The perfect doc? Do you ever just have fun? Or let other women just have fun? Hell… can you allow anyone to have fun?”
Erica stiffened. “Your brand of fun doesn’t seem much fun for Tamira.”
“That’s on her. I was very clear beforehand.”
“Why did you stop me from leaving if you’re just going to pursue an argument with me?”
His eyes narrowed at her. “Mind if I catch a lift home? Rob took my car.”
“You have a car?”
“Of course, I have a car. I’m not a complete loser, Doc.”
“Sure. I guess.”
He followed her out and they stopped in front of her car. He got into the driver’s seat as if he had every right to do so. He glanced at her, as if waiting for her to get the keys out. She sighed. He was so unpredictable. So moody. So strange. But did she order him out of her car? Or even scold him? No! She simply handed her keys to him and slid into her passenger seat.
“Were those your friends?” Erica asked, once they were on the road.
“People I used to know. Rob and I used to party a lot. We knew a lot of people.”
“You don’t anymore?”
“Know people? Yeah. But that kind of crowd has short-term memories. They exist only in the here and now. Rob went to rehab, and I dropped out of the scene for awhile, to clean my own act up. That made a lot of them forget us.”
“Forget you? Or perhaps they just don’t recognize you as Spencer. Spike and Spencer don’t even resemble the same species.”
He laughed. “You could be right. Unlike you, a lot of them resented my change from Spike to Spencer. Especially after they discovered I broke up Zenith.”
“Which you did to save your best friend’s life.”
“Yeah. But it wasn’t appreciated by our fans.”
“Rob seems to appreciate it. It says a lot about you, that you’d do that. Give up your dream just to help your friend.”
He shook his head. “Zenith was Rob’s dream. His voice is a damn miracle. He was why we went beyond a garage band. He is the talent. Not me.”
Erica considered his profile. “I don’t believe you.”
He looked at her from the corner of his eye. “Well, maybe you should.”
“I don’t. I don’t know why you continually underestimate your talent. Or why you won’t talk about Zenith, or music, or even tell me your favorite color. I don’t know why, after knowing you at work for months, I have no clue about you beyond your name change. I don’t know why that is. But it just is that way with you, isn’t it?”
His mouth tightened. “Yeah. It just is. There’s nothing to tell. Nothing much to say.”
“There’s everything to say. But you won’t. To me. To Tamira. To Joelle even. No one. Isn’t that lonely? Tiring? Exhausting to remain so isolated? So shut off to everyone? With only Rob knowing anything significant about you?”
He ignored her questions. She waited, but he refused to take his eyes off the road. The only indication that he heard her was his jaw tightening when she spoke.
She let out a long sigh. She couldn’t even goad him into reacting to her comments. “Well, those people may be pissed at losing Spike, but I like you much better as Spencer.”
His hands tightened on the steering wheel and he glanced at her with a piercing gaze. Still, he remained silent.
Pulling into his driveway, Spencer turned the car off. He opened his door and stretched his long legs out, as Erica did the same. His swift movements seemed angry. Annoyed. Was he letting her know what he thought of her prying? She walked around to the driver’s side of her car and he went up in front of her hood and stopped her.
“You ever dump that prick, Dr. Roy?”
“No. Why? Did I say I was going to?”
“You were there, right? Didn’t you notice he thought that crappy pamphlet was almost okay? He didn’t seem too upset. Since, you’re so into prying, why not look at your own life? Or is all that judgment and advice meant only for the women patients you so easily dispense it to? Oh, yeah, and to me, the out-of-work musician that I am, and loser handyman to you. Isn’t that right, Doc?”
Erica was startled by the harshness of his voice, not to mention all the hostility directed at her. She stepped back.
“No, that isn’t right. None of that. I don’t think you’re a loser. Not even close.”
“Really?” He stepped closer, his head bending down towards hers. His hands suddenly came up, wrapping around her biceps, and he pulled her forward. “What do you think about, Doc? When you’re all alone at night, what do you think about? The next patient? The next problem you can solve? The next person you can cure?”
“You make me sound like I’m obsessed with fixing everyone’s problems that I meet. It’s not like that for me.”
“What then? What do you think about? Fixing me? Is that what you’re trying to do?”
She jerked back and his hands gripped her tighter, keeping her right there before him. She shook her head. “No. Stop it, Spencer. I don’t appreciate this. I was just asking you a few personal questions. You don’t have to turn into such an ass about it.”
“Fire me, Doc,” he said softly, a taunting smile curving his lips. He stared into her eyes, as if daring her. “Why don’t you just get it over with and fire me?”
“If you don’t want your job, or don’t like working for me, then quit. Whatever! Just stop being such a prick to me.”
“Still, you can’t even raise your voice, can you? Get angry? Get a little emotional?”
“I can. When I actually care. I don’t care what you do.”
“That’s your problem, you care about what everyone needs. I doubt you even know what you need for yourself anymore.
He was staring into her eyes until his gaze fell onto her mouth.
He brought her right against him and his head lowered as his lips found hers. Soft, full, and with gentle pressure, his lips moved over hers, in striking contrast to his mean words. His leg burrowed between her legs, and he pulled her up onto it before his mouth returned to hers: open, hot, wet, and deep. Her legs turned to jelly at the sudden rush of passion she felt inside her. She nearly trembled, and used his leg to catch her and support her, although it also shocked her. All of it. It came out of nowhere. He kissed her like that for several minutes. Then, she lost all sense of time and space.
As quickly as he started kissing her, he unexpectedly pushed her away. His hands dropped off her body and he shoved them into his pockets. His eyes once more went cold, as his expression turned neutral.
“Get out of here, Doc. You can’t fix me.”
Chapter Eight
Erica froze, and stopped listening when Spencer walked through the door. Rob and Spencer came in together, dressed alike, in suits. They arrived there hours before they had to play, doing sound checks and practicing, while talking to each other. Now they were back all dressed up, and Erica, busy as she was, suddenly became way too aware of Spencer’s presence. When his fingers danced over the keys of the piano with practiced skill and confidence, she stared in awe at him. The sounds he created were perfection to her ears. It was certainly something to see Spencer doing what he was best at, with confidence, and God-given talent. He even looked different to Erica up on the stage playing. He seemed relaxed, at ease, in command, and almost approachable.
Erica fluttered around the now decorated banquet room, chatting, smiling, and helping the caterers and servers with any questions or dilemmas that arose. The flowers scented the air with sweet perfume, and the balloons clung to the ceiling, while glitter and fake snow blanketed the floor.
Two weeks had already passed since she and Spencer shared their first kiss. She tried her best to ignore him. Although she wasn’t proud over hiding from him, she was undeniably relieved. She could
n’t find any appropriate words to say to Spencer. Did she dare to confront him about what happened that night? That kiss. That was the kiss she’d been waiting for all of her life.
No! It couldn’t be. Spencer could not be the one she’d been waiting for. He kissed her solely out of anger, and because of who and what she was, and what he perceived she was trying to do. He thought she wanted to fix him. As well as fixing everyone else. Actually, she didn’t know the true reason why he became so angry at her. All she did know was that Spencer hated her.
His kiss shook her up way too much. It traveled from her lips into her gut in a few seconds, and soon had her skin tingling, her toes curling, and her entire womb feeling like it was on fire. He did it just to annoy her. To punish her, because he didn’t like her type. However, it only created the opposite effect on her.
Then, for four days, she didn’t see him at work around the building, or her office. It wasn’t until Thursday that she ran into him leaving work. He just stared at her with a hard, unforgiving scowl that shook her up and made her nervous. She even tried to offer him a smile.
He passed right by her with a lazy, insolent, Hey Doc, and a transparent and rude smirk. Since then, there was no contact between them, no words or explanations. His parting, horrible remark kept tumbling around in her brain, Get out of here, Doc, you can’t fix me.
Rob was the one who called her about confirming the start time and details for their performance tonight. Rob was courteous and very polite to her on the phone. He said they found a drummer to play with them. Rob also assured her they wouldn’t do anything to embarrass themselves or her for this one night.
So Erica had no clue of what the night might entail, or why Spencer chose to kiss her. She never knew what Spencer felt, much less, what he thought. That was why she nearly got sick and her nerves felt raw anytime she even contemplated seeing him, talking to him, or trying to figure out what he wanted from her. Nothing. Loud and clear, Spencer wanted nothing to do with her.
****
Roy arrived only a half hour before everything was scheduled to start. He wore a tuxedo quite well. He was groomed and tanned, looking quite healthy in a fitness club kind of way. A way that made it fairly obvious to any onlooker that he waxed his eyebrows and highlighted his hair. Erica hated seeing it, but forgave him.
The dinner started, and the guests filled the room. All was going along well without any major glitches. Spencer played the piano for ambience as people mingled before dinner. It was a soft, unending tune, but totally appropriate and equally enchanting.
Sitting down for dinner, the emcee of the evening listed the major donors before the auction started. The ensuing laughter and bidding won the guests over. The more fun it became, the more money they spent.
Finally, Rob joined Spencer and they played dancing music. It was mostly soft, retro songs, of smooth rock and jazz, but all of the music was unanimously appreciated. When Roy came up behind her, sweeping her out to the dance floor, Erica let out a laugh. They danced long enough for Erica to get winded. It was an odd sensation for her to dance to a live band she knew personally. It was even odder that she spent more time looking at Spencer, and watching him, than her dance partner or anything else.
Eventually, the evening, as well as the guests, started to wind down, and many began to leave. Erica drifted across the long balcony that ran beside the hotel. It was made of stone, and interspersed with gothic gargoyles and potted plants situated under the cool, deep shadows of the roof’s overhang. She leaned against the stone siding. If felt warm. She was pleased with her accomplishment at hosting a successful fundraiser. Maybe some good karma would reward her efforts tonight. Now however, she was tired and very glad it was nearly over.
“Looks like you don’t need any pleather. That dress seems to do it for old Dr. Roy.”
Erica jumped, startled, as the disembodied voice approached her.
Spencer. She looked around, then spotted him. He was tucked away between the waist-high stone railing and a hideous gargoyle. He was sitting on the foot-wide ledge. It was a stupid place to sit, as they were several floors above the pavement below.
He was staring at her and watching her silently from the first moment she went out there. He had a lit cigarette that illuminated in the shadows as he put it to his lips before exhaling a stream of smoke.
“I didn’t know you smoked.”
“I don’t.”
She stared with obvious puzzlement. He was certainly smoking now.
“Would have preferred a hit off a joint, but all I could scrounge up was one of Rob’s cigarettes.”
“A hit off what?”
“Pot, Doc. What else?”
“How would I know? I’ve never been into street drugs.”
He laughed and his white teeth flashed in the moonlight. He took a drink from the beer bottle next to him. “Not really a drug.”
“It’s barely legal.”
He smirked and raised his eyebrows. “Shame you’re not more fun, Doc.”
He seemed to be deliberately trying to tick her off. His innuendos were childish and insulting. Why? He usually wasn’t so rude to her. He usually kept things very impersonal and distant.
“Maybe you shouldn’t sit up there.”
He smirked as he leaned back slightly, while looking down. “Nice view from here.” Then he glanced her way and sat up straighter. “Both directions. You look good tonight too. Not exactly like any doctor I ever saw before.”
She wore a black dress that was simple, classic, with a V-neck. It made her hair color pop, but was also rather sedate and tasteful. It wasn’t exactly the kind of dress that drew unwanted men’s attention in the way Spencer suggested.
She sighed at his nasty mood. “What did I do to offend you?”
“You judged me. Don’t like being judged.”
She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “You mean about Tamira? Maybe I did.”
“Always so proper, aren’t you? Well-spoken. Looking out for everyone else.”
“And now you have a problem with that too?”
He ground the cigarette into the stone, and flipped the butt over the side before standing up to his full height, and stepping closer to her.
“I have a problem with you being a hypocrite.”
“How am I hypocrite?”
“You look down on me for something I did in my own home; while old Dr. Roy gets to feel you up in the office, and fuck you in some coat room. At least, when I do it, I keep it private.”
“Fu… What coat room? What are you talking about?”
“You know, the coat room.”
She shook her head, scrunching her eyebrows. “What coat room? Where? What are you talking about?”
Spencer’s smirk slowly faded. “That… wasn’t you?”
“Me? Where? When?” Her voice was unnaturally high.
“I thought it was you.” He shook his head. “Never mind.”
“Never mind what?”
Spencer sighed and pushed his hands into the pockets of his trousers. He dropped the rude tone. “I was looking for Rob’s coat to bum a cigarette and I saw your Dr. Roy back in the corner; he was doing it with someone. I… just assumed it was you.”
“Oh my God.” Erica turned away from him, her humiliation churning her stomach, flushing her face, and warming her cheeks. Here? Roy dared to cheat on her with someone here? At a damned charity event? One she worked her ass off organizing? He actually did it in the damn coat closet?
Erica turned around, aiming her anger unreasonably at Spencer. He was rude to her because he thought she was having sex in the closet with her boyfriend? Where did he get off? “So what if it was me? Why would you care if I was the one doing that? I would have guessed you would have applauded me. You’re so out there, with how free and unconventional you choose to be.”
Spencer shrugged and stepped back. “I’m sorry. Really, I wouldn’t have told you like this.”
“You’re sure it was him?”
�
�I’m sure it was Dr. Roy, Doc.”
His voice was low and sincere. She knew he was telling her the truth. Later, she’d think about it, and see how she felt. That’s what she’d do: figure out how she felt. Right now, it was simply humiliating to discover what a fool she’d been. She turned to hide the tears in her eyes.
Spencer put a hand on her shoulder. It felt large and warm as it rested there. “Hey, I’m sorry. Really. I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth and told you that.”
Surprised, she turned. He dropped his hand. He had a real thing about showing affection.
She rubbed at her eyes. “It’s not like my heart is broken. I’m just humiliated. I thought… I thought we were at least being faithful to each other. Dating exclusively. Is that really too much to ask?”
He held his hands up. “You’re asking me? I don’t know. I never signed up for it. But sounds like the prick doctor did. So yeah, he should have had the common decency to live up to it.”
She narrowed her eyes. “But how could you have thought it was me? In there doing that? Here?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t stick around to watch them. I just saw him and heard some stuff that sounded like...well, you get the picture.”
Erica shut her eyes in repulsion. Thirty-two years seemed much too old to be getting dumped, and disgraced like that. Spencer was quiet. Erica leaned into the cold railing and stared down at the street below. He came nearer, leaning against the thick, concrete ledge.
“You were awesome tonight. The music was perfect. It made the whole evening a success.”
“You mean Rob’s singing was. It always is.”
Erica stood up straighter and looked up at Spencer. “Why do you always do that? Give Rob all the credit?”
“Because he deserves it.”
“So do you.”
He looked away. “Quit looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re waiting for all my potential to emerge. Some people aren’t like you, Doc. They aren’t achievers. They aren’t anything. So quit thinking that I am.”