by Leanne Davis
Reaching over her and opening his nightstand drawer, he grabbed a condom. He put one on as he turned his back towards her; then, facing each other on their sides, he pulled one of her legs over his. The tip of him burning hot, and stiff, throbbing outside her opening was irresistible and she moved herself along it, hot and wet, and so ready.
“Oh God,” she moaned and shuddered when she felt him on top of her. So close to penetration, nearly there, but not yet. The anticipation made her body swell, and her blood rush. He was very good at this.
Then he pushed inside her and she withered beneath him, moaning, excited, blissful. She was in ecstasy.
She looked at his face, which was next to hers and his eyes were closed. His body moved inside her, but he wasn’t there. Not with her anymore. She knew he’d withdrawn from her now. Physical pleasure he could happily give her. But anything more? Then he always withdrew.
“Spencer,” she said softly. Her tone was so soft, it seemed at odds with the deep, hot thrusts of his body inside hers. His eyes blinked open with surprise, but he looked at a spot over her shoulder.
“Look at me.”
His head turned and his deep, dark eyes pinned hers. He held her gaze for several moments. Staring at her face, he was watching each sigh of ecstasy and rush of feelings. He suddenly shifted his body, and she groaned at the deep, hot, stroke of pleasure it created. His eyes moved over hers and he leaned down, kissing her lips, and silencing her, perhaps just so he didn’t have to keep looking at her. She let him. It was better than nothing. For a few moments, he wasn’t just having sex; he was making love to her.
He kept reaming her until she finally came. It was so hard, and so intense she felt shaken, shocked, and confused. Again. It was like that again. He finally pushed into her hard, almost brutally, and came inside her. Without a word. Or a groan. And with his eyes closed.
Then… he moved off her and rolled over onto his stomach. He flung his hands out, and pulled the pillow down under his head.
Erica stared at his back, and lay there, stunned. It was so good. Exhilarating, exhausting, truly an emotional experience, and not just a physical act. It was like being connected to someone as deeply, or as pleasurably as you could… And now? This. Withdrawal in more ways than one. She didn’t know what to do about it. Should she simply leave now? Gather her clothes and leave? His attitude suggested that… Only, there seemed to be so much more to Spencer than what his icy, abrasive exterior indicated.
She rolled onto her side, and slid closer to him, until she was right alongside him, with half her body nearly propped on top of his. She splayed one leg over his and rested her head on the crook of his shoulder. His head was turned away from her, with only his ear, cheek, and curls of hair before her. She kissed him on his cheek, then along his neck with little, butterfly kisses.
His entire body tensed under hers as he seemed to be trying to keep himself still. She, on the other hand, was nearly limp as a rag, comfortably draped, and snuggled. Although physically exhausted, she was relaxed. Even if he didn’t want her to be, she was.
“Spencer?” she finally asked.
“What?” his voice came out muffled, slightly sleepy, and a tinge annoyed.
“Your bed smells like fabric softener.”
He shifted and caught her eye. His expression was completely puzzled. “That’s what you have to say? My bed smells clean? What did you expect? The last girl’s perfume?”
“Well, it isn’t exactly what I pictured. I appreciate it. Love it, in fact. Speaking of which, when was the last girl here?”
“You want me to answer that? Need I remind you that you tried to go home with someone else tonight?”
“But I didn’t. I was mad at you. I was punishing you. And you tried not to notice.”
“I noticed.”
“You sat far away without even glancing at me.”
“I glanced. I came out, didn’t I?” he said, finally turning towards her. “I knew you were doing that for my benefit. Bullshit, if you weren’t.”
She smiled. “You deserved it. Of course, it was for your benefit.”
“Would you have slept with him? Just to spite me?”
She nodded. “Yes, I would have.”
“Doesn’t seem like you.”
“Oh, Spencer, I’m thirty-two years old. I’ve had my share of relationships, including one-nighters. I was mad. So yeah, there was a distinct possibility that I’d have done that.”
He was silent and frowning at her. Erica raised up on her elbows. “That bothers you?”
“Yeah, it bothers me.”
“Why? You can have casual sex, but I can’t? Kind of a hypocritical sexist, aren’t you?”
“You were doing it right in front of me!”
“You were being a jerk.”
“I was trying to be clear with you.”
“Clear? You were just being awful. Why can’t you freely admit that you got freaked out because you were glad to see me? You were glad I showed up at the bar; and you’re glad to have me here now.”
He refused to admit anything to her so she sighed, and sat up completely. His eyes shifted to her naked breasts. “You never answered my question about how long it’s been since a girl was here. Because of course, it would have to be a girl. Someone like Tamira. Or the girls at the bar tonight. That’s your type after all, isn’t it? Young, easy, someone with whom you can be emotionally unavailable without complications.”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”
“It isn’t what I’d call a good thing.”
“Why not? I’m twenty-six. Not like I want to get married anytime in the next decade, or two or three.”
“Then why me? Why am I here?”
“Why you?” He flipped over and sat up. “Because… because you’re not easy, or stupid. Because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
She froze, then laughed. “You think I am? That’s ridiculous. I was just trying to avoid cringing over what you’d think of me.”
“God, Erica, I’ve been lusting after you since the first time I ever saw you! Ever since I walked in when you were with Joelle. And I was still Spike.”
She stilled. “You called me Erica.”
He laughed finally, and reached his hand out to draw her up alongside him. “I know your name, but I didn’t want to use it, because I didn’t want to be like this with you.”
“But you are. You are being like this with me.” She stretched and yawned. “God, I’m tired. It’s been a long week. A crazy week. And now I’m here. It’s weird. Strange. Don’t you think?”
Turning over after her remark, Erica snuggled back into him, her eyes closing. She was asleep just that quick.
****
Spencer watched Erica sleeping from the safety of the chair across the room. She was like a child, the way she curled into him, and fell asleep so easily as that. And she acted so freaking happy to be here, with him. Him! Of all people. He didn’t get it. Or her. She just assumed she was spending the night and never questioned it or even asked him. She just assumed she was entitled to. But wasn’t that what he liked so much about her? She always knew what she wanted, and expected she would be treated and dealt with properly and how she deserved.
God, she was beautiful. Her head lay on his pillow, the blond hair tousled around her face. Her body was naked with the covers half twisted around her. She was like no woman he’d ever been with. She was open, easy, honest, and responsive to everything he did. Whether sexually, or while petting her, or hugging or simply looking, she physically responded to him fully. Easily. Openly. Hotly. She was far more than he ever dreamed. She was at ease in her body, with what she wanted, and what made her feel good. Yet, just as quickly, she assumed she was welcome to curl up next to him. Hold him. Kiss him. Who else did that with him? No one. No one did. Most women could read his hands-off, screw-off, demeanor perfectly clear. But Erica completely ignored it and did whatever she wanted.
He didn’t know wh
at to do with her there, since he couldn’t sleep. He didn’t go to bed this early, or this easily. And mostly, he didn’t share his bed with anyone. Ever. But there she was, sound asleep, curled on his bed. There, in his house, just to be with him. Erica Heathersby, his fantasy, hands-off, dream girl from afar, was now asleep in his bed. She stayed. She persisted in cutting through his bullshit and lousy attitude. Why? Why did she bother? What did she want? Sex? Sure, he could do that for her. But even then, what did she do? She made him look at her face. Kiss her. Fucking feel something for her.
Problem was, he wasn’t sure he possessed the emotions to feel anything for anyone.
Chapter Fifteen
Erica woke up to a gray, quiet room. Shades covered the windows, blocking out the morning sun. She stretched groggily before realizing the bed wasn’t hers. Wasn’t even familiar. She sat up. She was naked. Spencer. She was at Spencer Mattox’s house. In his bed. He wasn’t there. The room was empty. Her clothes were all picked up. They were folded, actually perfectly folded, and sitting in a neat pile on his chair. His clothes were gone. Huh. He was a neat freak. Who’d ever have guessed that? Where was he?
She pushed the covers back and grabbed her glasses, sighing happily when the world came into focus. She was still groggy as she trudged into the bathroom. Even that was stark, neat and clean. Well, there were worse traits in a guy, like hairy showers or moldy toilets. Not Spencer’s. His smelled like Clorox. Erica used the toilet, and washed her hands and face. She glanced at her hair and found a brush in his drawer to pull the tangles out. She had freakishly fine hair. So thin and soft, it took only about four brushes to disentangle it. It was a pretty color and unusual. But the texture, and the fineness didn’t excite her. She kept it at shoulder-length, straight and soft.
She went to Spencer’s dresser and bit her lip in amusement. His drawers were all crazily neat. Each pile of t-shirts was folded with military precision and stacked according to color. Opening the lower drawers, she found his pants as neatly stacked and folded. It was an odd trait for the former Spike. And it made her heart ping because he was so freaking cute, he couldn’t begin to see it. How could something as endearing as his crazy neatness obsession make her feel so tenderly towards him?
She slipped on one of the t-shirts and suspected it might have been ironed. Huh. He really was an interesting man. The shirt came to her mid-thighs, he was so tall. She opened the door to his room. The house sounded quiet but she heard movements from downstairs. Coming around the kitchen corner, she stopped dead. It wasn’t Spencer she heard; it was Rob Williams. Rob froze when he spotted her.
Staring at her, Rob’s jaw dropped. Warmth flooded her cheeks. She never expected to meet up with Rob Williams, especially while nearly naked, in his house. Life sure as hell wasn’t boring anymore.
“I thought you were Spencer.”
“You’re here still?” Rob said with so much shock, Erica felt mildly annoyed. His mouth was still hanging open.
“Is that so awful?”
“No. No, it’s great,” Rob said, suddenly smiling. “You’re misinterpreting my stunned expression. It’s not what you think, it’s seeing you are still here. It’s unusual. No. No, it’s unheard of. I mean, you were really here all night?”
Erica walked forward, feeling intrigued, but also a little offended at the awe in Rob’s voice.
“Yes. My car didn’t clue you in?”
“Your car’s not out there.”
Erica turned, looking confused, and glanced out the front door side window. Sure enough, her car was gone and her keys were missing from the counter.
“Spencer’s not here either. I assumed he was gone. I didn’t have a clue you were still here.”
Erica was perplexed. Confused. And felt abandoned. “Where would he go?”
Rob shrugged. “So you stayed the night?”
Erica finally gave in, lulled by Rob’s sudden curiosity. She came into the kitchen and sat down on one of the bar stools. Rob seemed ready to leave and was filling a Thermos with water.
“You want details?”
Rob smiled. “No. It’s just… I’ve honestly never known one of Spencer’s, ah, you know, women, to stay overnight.”
Erica considered that. It seemed big. Very big in fact to Rob. Suddenly, knowing that she stayed felt big to Erica too.
“I’m not one of Spencer’s women.”
Rob paused from screwing the lid on his Thermos. He nodded, “I know, Doc. You’re right. That’s what is so great. How did you do it? How did you manage to get him to let you stay the night?”
She lowered her brows in confusion. Was it really that shocking? “I didn’t do anything. I simply… did. I didn’t know to ask. I didn’t know it was such a big deal. I just assumed…”
“Well, then, he let you assume. He still let you. It’s big, Doc. Huge.”
“Why? Why would he never invite anyone to stay?”
Rob sighed. “He doesn’t let anyone close to him. You’ve probably gathered that he isn’t all that easy to get to know.”
“I gathered.”
“Yet, you’re here,” Rob said, his tone so pleased with her, Erica felt like she’d just gotten an A on her final exam for a class.
“I’m here. Do you think it means something?”
Rob shot her a look. “Doc, I think it means everything.”
Erica held Rob’s gaze and they shared smile. “You’re not anything like I pictured.”
He picked up a sack lunch. “That’s what happens when people get sober; they become human again. Can I ask you something? Do you want it to mean something? With Spence, I mean.”
Erica looked at Rob, then away. “It already does.”
He nodded. “Good. That’s good. It’s just that Spence isn’t easy. He isn’t going to make it easy for you.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because it’s true. But you’re here. Remember that. With Spencer, you have to take the things that seem casual, even easy to you, and realize they’re huge to him. And that if he lets you be here, with him, it means everything.” Rob nodded towards the front door. “Looks like he’s back and packing coffee. I think he went out to get you breakfast. Yeah, never seen anything like this from Spencer before.”
Erica turned when the front door opened, and sure enough, Spencer came through. Dressed in black nylon shorts, a matching t-shirt, Skechers, and a hat, he was carrying two coffee cups and a bag as he glanced up at her. Their gazes collided, and locked before Erica looked away, almost embarrassed by the heat and intensity.
Spencer walked over, setting everything down. He tossed her keys back on the counter, and glanced at Rob, then at her.
“Am I interrupting?” he asked, frowning.
“Just wondering where you went. Coulda left a note, jerk-off. Lady didn’t know what to think. Thought maybe you jacked her car. Anyways, I’m off to work. See ya, Spence,” he said, before turning to Erica. With a big smile, he took her hand and kissed it. “Doc, I thoroughly enjoyed seeing you this morning. Goodbye.”
Rob waved, smiling, and whistling as he grabbed his lunch. Spencer scowled after him. Erica smiled. Rob was devious, even downright meddlesome. He was… well, likeable, extremely likeable, which totally surprised her, compared to the Rob she knew after everything Joelle went through with him.
Erica was then left alone with Spencer, who was frowning at her with a hollow-eyed expression and unwelcoming scowl. Not exactly an Oh honey, so glad to see you this morning attitude. His was more like a suggestion to leave. And leave now.
He slid one of the coffee cups across the counter to her. She picked it up, as the steam rose and she smelled it. She nearly sighed, since it was her favorite.
“You got me coffee?”
He shrugged at her tone and her long look at him. “My favorite? How did you know?”
“I’ve gotten your coffee before.”
“Nuh-uh! I only ever had…” Erica stopped talking. She intended to say she only ever had Tamira gra
b her coffee.
“Yeah, well, she passed it along to me sometimes. That’s how we got to talking.” And more, but Erica kept that snide comment to herself.
“Thank you,” Erica said finally. “What’s in the bag.”
He pushed it towards her. Two pastries wafted their sugary, warm scent through the paper. She sniffed. “Even better. But you didn’t have to.”
“We didn’t have anything to eat.”
“Oh. Well, still.” Erica took a bite. It tasted better than it smelled. She looked up to find Spencer watching her. What? Why did he do that? He was watching her as if she were an anomaly and he didn’t know what she might do next. She pushed the bag towards him. “Aren’t you going to have one? Oh wait. You don’t eat. That’s why you look like that, and I look like this.”
He opened the bag, and took the pastry out, all the while holding her gaze. “I eat. I bought it, didn’t I? And you, you should keep doing whatever makes you look like that.”
Quiet descended between them as they both chewed. She drank to hide her unease and looked everywhere else, but towards him. He seemed to keep watching her. What was this? What where they? Friends? Lovers? Nothing? Everything? She couldn’t get a read on Spencer. Not even a hint.
He waved towards her and said suddenly, “You probably shouldn’t run around my house in only a t-shirt. Might have been someone besides Rob you ran into this morning.”
“I thought it was you down here. I didn’t give a thought to Rob.”
“Why? Roy didn’t have a roommate, huh?”
“I’ve dated a lot more men than Nick and Roy. You’re going to have to accept that I’m not as virginal as you might like me to be. Or as you assumed I was.”
“Well, whatever, I’m sure he enjoyed the view.” Did his mouth just tighten in disapproval? Was he jealous? Annoyed that Rob saw her wearing his t-shirt? Who knew Spencer would be so jealous? Even prudish, about her sexuality?