In a voice so quiet that I almost miss, Chance says “Don’t walk home tonight all right rabbit. Please?”
I don’t know why, but I find myself nodding yes at him. Maybe it’s the way he looks so scared. Or it could be that he used my nickname and please in the same soft tone that sends chills running down my spine. Whatever it is, I get the point he’s trying to send me. And if he simply wants to have a ride home, I’m happy to oblige. Plus, my feet are still sore from my walk here. Not that I’ll tell him that of course.
Finally getting an affirmative Chance turns on his heels, and all but runs away from me. I guess he really did just come in here to tell me I shouldn’t walk home in the snow. It would be less weird if he didn’t sound all doom and gloom, and the fact that I hadn’t seen him in a month.
It definitely adds to the weird factor.
None the less, I end up getting a ride home from Toby after work. The whole ride he’s going on about how it was strange that the register caught fire like it did. I played the overheated hard drive bit, but he has sense moved on from that. He seems to think it’s strange that a fire started from the outside (if he only knew). He does tell me, he’s just glad I jumped away before the fire started.
I just wish I jumped away before anything even happened.
By the time I’m home and preparing for bed, something nags at the back of my mind. It never snowed tonight. Not even one little snow flake. It was oddly warm out too. So why did Chance say it was going to and put up such a fuss about it? And why did he think I wouldn’t be safe if I walked home?
Sighing, I crawl into bed thinking that boys are the strangest species. Even more so than demons. At least I know how to deal with my kind. Boys are just totally out there, like on another planet out there. Drifting off to sleep, I decide it’s probably best to not over think too much when it comes to Chance. His prophecy was obviously wrong, so I’m not going to let myself get too worked up.
Besides, he’s just a boy. How much trouble could he be now that he’s clearly done avoiding me?
I’m still going to avoid him. Right?
Ugh, my life.
***
The next week goes by even faster than the month before it, and unlike last month, I live and breathe this one with eyes wide open. Of course, that could have something to do with my very own stalker. Yep, that’s right, I said it, stalker. Who might this be you ask? Why, it would be none other than Chance Harris. Weird right?
I’m thinking, uber weird times like a thousand and one, on the scale of weird. Usually, or rather if, this happened a month ago, I’d be all happy go lucky. But I’m not, now anyways. It’s too odd, I guess. After being ignored for so long, and now he’s tailing me. I should (and would) contribute this to the zapping of a cash register that I did, but for some reason, I don’t think that’s it.
And I only think that because, he’s keeping his distance, like he’s trying to blend in the background. This I find pretty funny though. Chance, trying to blend his six foot something or other frame, into the background. I’d tell him I can see him and that he’s not blending very well, but I don’t. And why should I? His sister does a pretty decent job of that.
All week Ashley has made it a point to mock his non-stealth maneuvers, much to my amusement.
Other than my amusement, I find it kind of weird (okay – a lot weird) that he hasn’t said two words to me since the night with the register ‘incident’. He just follows me around, and silently lurks. It’s almost enough to send me over the edge, and yet, I find it kind of sweet in (I’m a demon) way. I just wish I knew why, he has taken a sudden interest in me. Is he afraid it might snow soon? Ha, yeah I don’t think that’s it. Although, I do wish it was, because I’m thinking maybe I should have memory blocked the whole zapping thing the other night.
But yeah, it’s too late for that now, story of my life.
Regardless of my stalker, I managed to get through another week of school and work and before I know it it’s Halloween. The most exciting Monday in school history, well, for everyone that isn’t me that is. This is why I gladly walk into work, grateful that I don’t have to see little kids dressed up at demons trying to be terrifying. Instead, I get to wait on customers that come in dressed up as demons and try to be all terrifying.
Not even the thought that tomorrow is my birthday, can make me feel even lower.
Thankfully, Toby and I don’t get many customers as the night wears on. We heard through the grapevine (meaning Ashley the friendly – dressed as a trashy ghost) told us there is a party going on at some guy’s house. She and Jesse were all over that, as were the entire student body. Everyone but me, that is. Though, Toby has been hinting at checking it out on the way home. And I’ve been hinting that it’s not something I’m in too. Since the dining room has been empty all night, and no sign of my blue eyed stalker, I assumed he must be there too.
This theory went out the window, when he walked in just shy of closing time.
Toby is outback taking the trash out, so I’m all alone behind the counter, when Chance saunters over to me. It should have been a warning that he was no longer trying to blend into the background, but was rather looking right at me. As it were, I’m too busy trying to force myself to look away from the blue of his eyes.
He stops just shy of the counter, and says “Hey, rabbit.”
I stare at him like he’s lost his mind, and in all honesty, I think he kind of has. I do nod at him though, and he smiles softly back. I swear if my heart wasn’t hammering inside my chest right now, it would totally stop me dead.
“Look, I know I’ve been somewhat of a dick, but I want you to know I don’t mean it.”
He pauses and takes a deep breath, like he’s having trouble spitting out whatever he has to say. Um, okay, that makes no sense, him not meaning it. Him being a dick, I totally agree with that. But still he continues.
“I have some heavy stuff going on, and I can’t really explain it. Not yet. I just don’t want you to hate me. You don’t do you?”
He leans forward on the counter so that his arms are outstretched. This brings him closer to me. I don’t answer him though. I don’t even know where to begin.
“I’m sorry rabbit. Please forgive me?”
He looks so lost, that I want to rush into his arms and make him smile again. But I don’t. I’m having enough trouble trying to make words or even sound pass through my lips.
Glancing away, he says “Can I at least give you a ride home tonight? It’s the least I can do.” He looks back with a smile, a familiar spark dancing in his eyes. “For all the stalking I’ve been doing anyway.”
I feel my lips shifting into a smirk and then into a smile. So he’s aware of the stalking then? Good, that makes it less creepy and just odd instead. Well, not odd, but definitely curious. How he can make me angry at him and then to just give in to a smile, I’ll never know. Maybe I am just cursed. Or just stupid.
I’m going to go with stupid, because in my next breath I say “A ride would be nice. You can never tell when it might snow.”
He laughs. My smile widens, as does the empty space he left inside me a month ago. Then Toby walks up beside me. I literally jump a foot in the air, hands clutching at my pounding chest. He is so lucky my inner Taser didn’t hear him approaching. For all his stealthy walking, I’m thinking this Christmas I’m getting him a bell to wear.
He glares at Chance, who by the way returns it with open glee. I roll my eyes.
“We’re closing Harris.” Toby says.
Chance leans back from the counter with a satisfied smirk.
“I am aware of that, thanks Reed. It’s why I’m here. I’ll taking rabbit home tonight.”
Toby glances in my direction with wide eyes.
“You’re going home with him?”
The way he said that, makes me blush, like I’m doing something wrong. And I know I’m not, we do live right next door, it’s not like I’m going home with him. That does explain my blush, and Toby’s
surprise.
I shake my head. Then have the urge to smack myself. I nod.
“He’s just giving me a ride home Toby, its fine. I do live right next door. It’s no biggie.” I reassure him.
It doesn’t work. He gives me this sad puppy dog look. Then I remember the party he talked about most of the night. And it hits me that he really thought that I’d go to it with him. Man oh man, can I just make it through one day and not lead anyone on?
Before I can even utter a word of apology, Chance interrupts.
“Actually, it being Halloween and all, I figured we could hang out for a bit? I’m sure I’m not as fascinating as a party, but hey, the night is young.”
My wide eyes whip back to Chance’s smirking face. He’s not looking at me though. His eyes are all for Toby. Is he serious right now? Or is this some male macho bull, which closely resembles that of a dog marking its territory? He might as well just pee on me now and get it over with.
The idea of ‘hanging out’ with him does have a nice ring to it.
This is why I probably say “That sounds great Chance, you ready to go?” I round the end of the counter before glancing back at Toby. “You can finish locking everything up right?”
I don’t wait for a reply. It’s bad enough with the sour expression the boy gives me. I couldn’t handle whatever he has to say. I’m already out the door and halfway to an all too familiar red mustang, when I stop. Dang it all, I totally forgot my coat. I spin around and walk right into the warm muscled (and unfortunately clothed) chest of Chance.
Bouncing back with a girly yelp, I mutter “Ugh, coat. Sorry.”
He laughs and holds up something that looks oddly like my coat. On second thought, it is my coat. I quickly snatch it out of his grasp.
“Um, thanks, I forgot it.”
Obviously, he knows this moron. Otherwise he wouldn’t have brought it for you. Ugh, sometimes, I can be so, so something that’s irritating.
We stand awkwardly facing one another for a heartbeat. He watches me with an expression that I can’t really read. All I know is that the smile is gone and he’s far too serious. It kind of makes me wish I didn’t storm out here just to prove a point. I mean the dude has been stalking me. That can’t be anything good can it?
Before I can tell him I’m just going to walk, he moves away to his car. I sigh in relief. He must know I only agreed to go with him out of some sort of loyalty, and knows I can walk home just fine. This makes me feel better, and in a way, like we understand one another. And then he clears his throat.
Turning to face him, I find that he’s holding open the passenger side door. So much for the understanding of one another, clearly there is some miscommunication. What do I do now? Get in the car with him for, what I’m sure will be an awkward car ride? Or do I tell him to forget it because he kind of creeps me out and coming from a demon that says a lot?
I get in of course.
Chapter Thirteen
Sitting beside Chance in his car for only a minute and I already know it was a bad idea to get in. This is mostly contributed to the thick silence that coats the two of us like a fog. I almost wish it was my memory block taking effect, because I could so use it right about now. I suddenly feel like I just betrayed myself, or my feelings rather.
For the better part of a month I’ve been so, hurt, lost inside myself, and all because of the boy beside me. Then one day he shows up giving me his winning smile. And everything is instantly forgiven? It shouldn’t be this way. I shouldn’t be this way. I thought I was stronger than this, but apparently not. Under all my soft girl exterior, and inner demon, turns out I’m more girl than demon.
A stupid girl it would seem.
“Rabbit?”
Chance’s voice is no more than a whisper, but I flinch none the less. His voice wraps around me in the small space of the car, and I want nothing more than to hold onto its warmth of safety. But it’s a lie.
Staring I the window and purposely not looking at him I mutter, “Hmmm?”
“I’m so sorry. I know I already said it before, but it stands to be said again. I really mean it you know.”
I sigh and watch the way my breath coats the cold window glass. My image fades from it while covered in the breathy fog. I wonder not for the first time if I should’ve just memory blocked Chance back when I first had the opportunity. Would it be better to be the only one feeling this way? I mean do I even really believe he’s sorry? It’s funny, after all this time, I don’t even remember what he has to be sorry for.
He was a jerk yes, but we hardly know one another. It doesn’t seem right, or feel right, to judge something so harshly. At least to me anyway, and I very well may be a little biased on this. I just wanted so badly to start over, be someone new, and then he came into my life. I didn’t expect him, never even wanted anything like him before, but here he is. Now I kind of need him.
I just wish he kind of wanted me in a way that didn’t leave me wanting.
“I know you mean it. It’s fine.” I mutter into the silence of the car, more of my breath coats the window.
He sighs. The steering wheel grinds as his hold tightens on it. I don’t even flinch. I can feel a numbness coating me like my breath on the window. I’m ready to be lost again. Maybe it’s the only way to get by.
“Damn it rabbit, it’s not fine. You’re not fine. Will you talk to me?”
His voice is urgent, like he can sense I’m fading from him. But why would he care? I’m doing this for him, he doesn’t want me.
“There is nothing to say Chance. It is what it is, and I’m okay with that.” I tell him in nothing more than a whisper.
I hear him shifting beside me, but I simply continue to stare at nothing in the window. Then I feel the warmth of his hand cover my own on my lap. I flinch, not able to hold it back. He doesn’t pull away though. If anything he grips my hands, like they’re a lifeline.
I bite my lip to keep from facing him or even telling him something I’ll regret.
“Well I’m not okay with it. I screwed up, I know I did, but I had my reasons. I’m not going away again I can promise you that. Just give me another shot to prove it to you?”
The pressing tone of his voice finally makes me turn to him. He’s watching me and not the road (I should really talk to him about that, it’s not a good habit) with haunted eyes that make me want to sob into him. His hold on my hands tighten and well missed tingles travel up and down my spine.
Tingles are one thing, but can I really give him another shot? Is he worth it? Can I really go through something like last month? Ugh, too many questions and not enough answers. That seems to be the way of things of late. But really, only one question means more than the others. Is he really worth it?
Guess I’ll find out. “Why should I?”
He turns back the road, and stays that way for a few agonizing seconds. His hold on my hands doesn’t loosen though, if anything it gets even tighter.
“I don’t have a good reason, just that I want you too.” He says finally.
I watch the profile of his face, like I was watching the fogged window a moment ago, like I’m trying to find some hidden depth that just isn’t there. Is his answer good enough? He did say he wanted me to forgive him. And technically that’s what I wanted, for him to want me. But is it really the same thing?
I remove my hands out from under his. He turns to me with sad wide eyes that sparkle in the darkness of the car. I offer him a small, very weak, smile and oh so gently place my hands on top of his. I literally hold him to me, and allow the feeling of tingles coursing from the spot his hand touches my thigh, to travel all the way to my spine.
He smiles, taking my wary grin as a confirmation that I can in fact give him another shot, and goes back to paying attention to the road. I should feel glad he’s actually driving safely again, but honestly, I’d rather him looking at me. I feel like I’m wounded and trying very hard to heal faster than possible. Like I’m forcing the issue before I’m ready or someth
ing. Maybe I am, I don’t know. I just know, I can’t push him away because I’m scared. He’s trying here, it’s the least I can do is to try to.
The rest of the drive is in silence, but it’s not an awkward one though. So when Chance parks the car in the garage and turns it off, I know that both of us don’t want it to end. The darkness of the car is like another world, a safe one. I know that when we get out, all the promises will have to be attempted. The idea of it (us) not working makes me want to stay in here forever. His lack of movement makes me think he feels the same.
Then his voice startles me out of the bubble, as he says “You know, I wasn’t kidding when I said that we could hang out earlier. That is, if you want to I mean. I can’t guarantee an overly enjoyable time, but I can try.”
I can’t hold back the startled laugh when I look at him. He can be so weird sometimes. It’s nice though, because I’m weird too.
“As long as you don’t mind hanging out in my boring apartment, then I’m not against it.”
Even as I smile, I watch his face become overly serious. And I have a quick OMG moment. I think I totally just insinuated that hanging out meant something other than just hanging out. Leave it to me to ruin a perfectly good attempt. But then he nods, still with the serious look.
His eyes are even darker as he says, “I’m not against that either.”
Huh, boy gets a cookie, and apparently he’s not against the non-hanging out hanging out. That’s when it hits me, along with the knowledge. A deep blush coats me in a warm wave. I quickly nod at him and rush out of the car. I’m already at my door unlocking it, when I can feel him behind me. My hands shakes and I miss the keyhole twice before successfully getting the door open. And when I do, I practically stumble inside.
I don’t have to worry about crashing on my dark floor, because I am no sooner through the threshold when Chance is wrapping his arms around me. I gasp as he pulls me back against him, only to sigh into him as he does. His arms are tight and warm around my middle, but I can’t help to shiver as he lowers his face into the space between my neck and shoulder. His breath is even warmer than his arms, but it’s nothing compared to the way his mouth touches me.
The Misadventures of Daria Pigwidgeon Page 13