I start to deny being an abomination, but dad cuts in. “You are a blessing Daria. Only you can harness natural human emotions like no other earth demon. Your soul and abilities would make it easy for you to steal without anyone being the wiser of what is happening. It’s why your value is very high. But it’s also why you’re in danger. You risk the balance we have and some of our kind fear change.”
He stops to share a look with my mother. I watch them intently for any lie that might be going on. Truth rings in my ears and bounces inside my frazzled mind. It makes sense in a way. I always thought there might be an actual Hell in which we’re from. In a way it’s good to know. What sucks is all the sucking is going on, literally. I’d have been better never knowing I’m a freaking parasite in the making.
“What doesn’t make sense to me is how my abilities would even work like you think? It’s not emotion based like all of yours are.”
Riana laughs. “That’s what doesn’t make sense to you? Damn, you got backbone kid.”
I catch Riana watching me from the other side of the room. She seems a little too happy with my apparent digesting of all this. What makes me happy is that the twins are flanking her, like they are forming a wall between me and her. The sight gets better every time I see it.
“Riana enough.” Our mother scolds. “That’s a good question Daria, don’t let you sister tell you otherwise. You see, the power you have over memory, was always meant to be used to help you with stiffening. You can push and pull it with practice. As for the zapping thing your so fond of performing, that’s not a demon power any of us have ever possessed. That I believe is something that came with your soul.”
“But memory isn’t an emotion. I don’t see how that would make me stronger than any of you. And you and dad don’t have emotion abilities either, so what gives?”
She sighs and turns to my father for help. “What your mother and I have are some of the strongest powers our kind has. Its body temperature based rather than emotion. It’s more of a heaver feed and lasts longer for those below. In effect, we don’t have to send as much as others do. As for yours, it’s limitless. As long as you push yourself into others, you could take whatever and however much you wanted.”
Oh.
Great, I’m a super sucker. Just what every little girl wants for her legacy.
A shaking starts in my legs and travels upwards. “I don’t know what to say about that.”
“I know. It’s all right. Just let yourself process the information as you can. None of this has to mean anything to you Daria. What you can do isn’t what you are. It’s one of the reasons we’ve dealt with you like we have over the years. We’ve known you could change everything and what it would mean if you were found out. So we did what we do best, hide you, and kept you at bay for your safety. Not the best approach I know, but it was what we thought was best at the time.”
I glare at him. There is no good reason for what they did to me over the years. I’m lucky to have survived. And that isn’t from anything they did, it was all me, trying to kill me isn’t the same as keeping me safe. There is a lie in there, I can smell it.
As if sensing my thought process, my mother takes over again. “We needed you to fear us and the outside world Daria. There was no other way. But we never truly meant you harm. If we did then you wouldn’t be here, because your memory abilities have no serious effect on us. Those are human based only. Granted, we do feel some of it enough to make us pause, but we only went far enough to scare you.”
Huh. That’s…unexpected. “And what does all this have to do with the recent attacks? Some rogue bottom dweller trying to shake, rattle, and roll me down to Hell to use me?”
The twins laugh at this and if I’m not mistaken so does Riana. Only our parents remain grim.
My father nods. “Basically, yes. But I think it’s an earth demon that is trying to feed off of you as if testing you. If it figures out what you are, then duty would have it turning you over to Hell. What we need is to avoid that little bit and keep you safe from being found. We believe that simply being home with us essentially blocks you from our kind. Not using your abilities help too.”
So I have to go home and be defenseless? That doesn’t sound very enticing.
“Does it help that we always planned on telling you this when we thought you’d be ready? Obviously we waited too long and for that I am truly sorry.” He pauses to share a look with mom before facing me again. “This is a lot to take in we know. But you wanted honesty right? Well, this is it. We’re offering to keep you safe from being used. Let us help you Daria.”
I certainly got a lot of honesty that’s for sure. It doesn’t stop the hurt and fear though.
I’m sure to look at every single one of them as I say, “I believe that you all believe that what you’ve done to me was for my own good, but I have to tell you there is no way I can get past that long enough to ever forgive you. I’m grateful for all the honest speak and I might even understand a little bit of it. But there is no way I’m going anywhere with you, at least right now. I have a life here and I think I deserve that.”
Silence greets me as I finish. Both of my parents appear disappointed with my decision, Riana looked bored with it all, but it’s the twin’s shared proud expression that makes me feel like I’m right. I’m about to get up and walk out of the room now that there is nothing left to say, but something stops me. Or a thought does.
Why am I so different that the rest of them?
“Isn’t it strange that I am the only one of us that has a soul? Shouldn’t one of you be all soul having like me? I mean its nice being special and all don’t get me wrong. But why am I so different?”
Riana laughs. “You’re special all right.”
The numerous glares sent her way stops the laughter.
Then there is only silence again.
Hesitation plays across my mother’s features before she answers. “There is no reason for what you are Daria, you simply just are.”
I’d know she was hiding something in that statement even if I didn’t catch the look my father sent her. But I do see it. He tries to cover it with a smile. It’s as false as the reason that I just am. There has to be a reason for my existence, it can’t just be a random occurrence. The same goes for why I’m being stalked. There has to be more to than me being a threat or a super feeder. Something doesn’t add up and they don’t want to share.
Figures – it’s not like I’m surprised – disappointed maybe, but not surprised.
With nothing else to say, I get out of the chair and head for the door. They call out to me but I don’t stop. It doesn’t matter what they have to say, the damage is already done. They want to leave with them and I want to stay. The reason behind the excuse doesn’t matter. I’d never do it, any of it.
I’m not a parasite.
No one follows me outside. I’d probably lose it if they did. My feet carry me to the car and to Chance without any instruction from me. Oddly, I feel a little numb inside, like everything I just learned isn’t real. I wish that were true. Soon I find myself sliding in the car and closing the door behind me. I position the seatbelt over my lap and fasten it. Then I sit back and face Chance.
He’s looking at me funny. I glare at him for it. Now he’s really looking at me funny.
I toss my hands up in frustration. “What?”
“Um…are you all right there rabbit? You were gone for a long time. And you look…a little freaked out. Was it bad?”
Was it bad?
That’s kind of funny, so funny in fact that I can’t stop laughing.
It’s only when Chance pulls me into his arms do I realize that I’m not laughing.
I’m crying.
He doesn’t say anything as I pour out my fears and disgust at what I am into his chest. I can’t say how long this goes on, but eventually there is nothing left. There is only the shell of what I thought I was. And the shell wants to be far away from here and forget everything. I vaguely recall te
lling Chance to take me home, but it doesn’t feel like me saying it. He does it anyway. My body clings to him on the drive as my mind splits off on its own and seeks refuge. It doesn’t come back for a while. By the time it does, I’ve somehow managed to get myself in my own bed. I think Chance might have helped with that. But he’s gone now and I’m alone.
At this very moment, I’d welcome my blood covered snowy death.
There is no hope for the abomination that I now know I am.
***
The next couple of days go by in a blur of time between sleeping and not sleeping. I can't say which I care for more. Okay, that's not true, I prefer sleeping. At least that way I don't have to pretend that everything is fine. And it's definitely not. If it weren't for Chance forcing me to get up and go to school, I probably wouldn't have even bothered. But he's trying. It would be rude of me to not acknowledge the effort. Or that's what I tell myself to get up. What I really want to do is to check out from myself for a while. But I can't. Who knows what could happen if I vacate my body? Could that be just an excuse I tell myself to let the badness seep out? It's there, I've always known, I'm a demon after all. All it would take is one little slip and everything I thought I knew about myself would be over.
That alone is keeping me semi-sane.
The other half of me is an unfortunate mess though. I'm barely hanging on. School days are pretty fuzzy and I can't say for sure if I carry on a descent conversation with anyone. I can say that I avoid my siblings like the plague they are. It took me a while, but I finally got it. What I was told about myself is true for them on a daily basis. They are parasites feeding and stealing from the humans I try to pass myself off as. It makes me sick to think I was starting to trust them. I was beginning to like having them around. And that's what hurts the most. It feels like I've lost something I didn't even know I wanted so badly. The twins tried to approach me on the day after, but it was Riana who kept them back this time. I guess things are back the way they should be.
At some point on the second day between another blurry day of school and riding home with Chance, something inside me broke. I barely had time to get home before the dam of my never ending tears came free again. Time passed with Chance holding me and telling me that everything is all right and that I'll get through this. I don't know when his words started to sink in, but when they did, the tears stopped. Clarity came back to me and I finally told him what I now know as the end of everything. He took it better than I did. Afterwards, he told me that it doesn't change anything. I think he might have even said that I'm still me. But what does that even mean really? If I don't know who I was, then how can I know who I am, or who I will be for that matter?
Talking helped, but it didn't fix what broke inside. I don't know if anything can.
It’s not until later that night, when I’m alone in bed trying hard to fall asleep, that it hits me. I never did find out what exactly who or what my shadow stalker is. All I know is that it might be a powerful earth demon like me, Hell bent on either turning me in or taking me out for whatever reason. As I recall, the whole car situation was never addressed either. Should that have been solved? I mean it’s a pretty decent sized mystery. And if my attacker is so strong, why did it taste of fear? It didn’t have a body like earth demons do. So what was it?
Is my parent’s right when they say that Hell is coming for me?
Do I care?
I probably should I guess. It is my life that hangs in the teetering balance. The odd thing though, is that if I’m so strong, why would anyone from Hell want to kill me? Shouldn’t that make me valuable or something? Not that I want to be valued for what I am, but still. Something doesn’t add up. I just wish I knew what it was. All I know is that I’m not going to be asking about any of this any time soon. Avoidance is definitely high on my to-do list right now. Besides, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t like the answers I got anyways.
After a while I finally drift off to sleep. But one thing grates at the back of my mind. How long until I run out of time and what am I going to do with what I have left. It’s simple really. I have all I need right here and his name is Chance. With a smile on my face, I vow tomorrow will be a better day, even if I smack myself to achieve it. No more hiding.
By the time Friday rolls around, I actually come back to myself to be somewhat normal again. Chance has been pestering me about the change, but I think he’s holding back as if not to startle me away again. Although, someone has decided that pestering me is the right thing to do, and her name is Ashley. It didn’t go unnoticed by her that our newest lunch friend has exited our good graces for the last couple of days. She also noted that she would kick my sister’s skanky butt from here to the moon if she ever came around again. They are fighting words for sure, but I like the ring to them. But she doesn’t push me though, which I’m grateful for.
How I got her and Chance, I’ll never know. I am grateful though.
One of the good things about today is that I didn’t see a single of one my siblings. I doubt it means they left. But it’s good to know they aren’t forcing me into a corner or anything. I do get the feeling that they just might be following me still. Not that I can control any of that. At least I don’t see them. So that helps. Unfortunately, as it turns out I actually didn’t succeed in the school work department, because I’m totally behind on practically everything. Lucky for me, Chance rocks, and noted that he’d be the perfect study buddy. I agreed. Heading home directly from school and crashing into the garage with both of our backpacks stuffed to the brim.
The next few hours are spent hacking away at useless homework that I’d rather avoid.
I am now calling Chance the homework Nazi.
The boy is seriously brutal!
Of course, I have to say I love the way he rewards me when I get the correct answers. I think that might be one of the reasons it takes us a couple hours to finish up. Not that I’m complaining or anything. I love me some Chance kisses. We finally finish up around dinner time and I use my nifty new little phone to order us a pizza. I even pay for us, much to Chance’s displeasure. He’s very old fashioned when it comes to him wanting to take care of everything – it’s kind of sweet. The rest of the evening is as perfect as the afternoon before it.
Soon enough I find myself curled up before Chance on my couch watching It’s A Wonderful Life on cable. This is ten times better than studying. And it has everything to do with the strong arms that are wrapped tightly around me. Warm breath tickles that hair at the back of my neck lulling me into a peaceful bubble that I never want to leave. But all good things must come to an end eventually and before we know it the credits of the movie are rolling signaling that it’s time to call it a night. How I wish it wasn’t though.
Oddly, neither one of us make a move to leave the bubble.
So I take the opportunity to turn into him and snuggle closer.
Chance chuckles softly. “How you holding up there rabbit?”
I take a hesitant breath as his question hangs in the air around us. Its intentions are more than our current comfy position. I kind of wish it wasn’t - like our bubble – it’s safe here. But he deserves me to be honest with him, even if I don’t like it. So I pull back and gaze up at him. He’s no longer smiling. In fact he looks a little guilty.
I sigh. “I’m holding on as best I can. You just being here helps, so thank you for that. But…I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was scared…about everything. I wish it could all be solved and over already. I hate the waiting and fearing.”
He pulls me back to him and grips me tightly to his chest. “I wish I could make it all go away for you.” He pauses with a great breath that stirs my hair up. “Would it be selfish of me that I’m glad I haven’t had another dream like the others?”
Now I laugh a little. “No! God no! That’s a good thing Chance. No dreams, means possibly no bad things to come. Maybe I did avert the bloody snow moment and things might get better. Only time will tell, but no, it doesn’t make you s
elfish at all.”
“Well good. That’s good to know.”
“It is isn’t it?” I sit up with a real honest to goodness smile. “It’s been a week with nothing bad happening and no dreams in sight.”
He laughs.
“Don’t be getting all giddy now, we don’t want to jinx the thing we have going.”
My smile slips. “You’re so right. Jinxing it would be all kinds of bad. But I think I already did that.”
“No more worries beautiful. Not tonight. We should definitely take this as a good sign for a better outlook for tomorrow. Who knows, maybe it’s already played out the way it was meant to.”
His hands reach for my cheeks and pull my face to his until our foreheads are resting on one another. Any thought that might have been about to rise up and consume me simply evaporates. My breath eases so that it matches his. Like gravity our lips brush against each other without even having to move much. I sigh into him as he increases the pressure and I open myself up to him. Just as his tongue brushes up against mine, my cellphone rings.
We freeze. I wait for the ringing to stop, but it goes on and on.
Chance pulls back. “I thought you didn’t give out that number?”
“I didn’t.”
With Chance’s watchful eyes following me, I reach behind me to the table for the phone. Snatching it up, I quickly bring it to my ears as I answer it. “Hello?”
Silence greets me.
Every horror movie I’ve ever seen plays before my imagination. Then I hear it, the laugher on the other end. And it sounds suspiciously familiar. So familiar in fact that I sit back on the couch in a huff.
“Raina? How in the heck did you get this number?”
She laughs louder this time. “Sorry little sister, I could resist messing with you. You’re always so touchy. I didn’t scare you did I?”
The Misadventures of Daria Pigwidgeon Page 29