Your Life, but Cooler

by Crystal Velasquez

  You’re completely honest and tell her that they do make her look a little frumpy. You don’t want your mom walking around in those things thinking she looks good—especially when she picks you up at school!

  Instead of answering, you immediately grab a different pair that you’re sure will be a better fit and hand them to her without a word. In this case, silence speaks volumes.

  Fudge the truth by saying no, but that the color is all wrong. Yes, the first pair looked terrible on her, but she doesn’t need to know that.

  You tell your mom she looks like a supermodel in those pants. They look great on her! That may not be true, but you don’t want to hurt her feelings.

  Your grandmother gave you a sweater for your birthday last week, and she’s on her way over for dinner. You know she’s expecting you to wear the new sweater. Unfortunately, it’s so hideous that you could use it as a Halloween costume. You were planning to let it gather dust in your closet. But what do you do when she gets to your house?

  Give the sweater back to your grandmother, telling her you know she meant well, but what was she thinking? The front had a unicorn, rhinestones, and sequins on it. Not your style at all. You hope she kept the receipt.

  Thank her for buying you a gift, but confess that you’re a little old for unicorns now. You don’t want to upset her, but you also don’t want a closet full of rainbows and rhinestones. If you tell her the truth now, maybe she’ll switch over to cooler stuff.

  Wear the sweater to dinner, claiming that you love it, but toss it as soon as your grandmother leaves. You don’t want her to know you didn’t like it, but you also can’t be seen in public in that thing!

  Tell her you lost the sweater in some freak windstorm. For all you know it’s floating out over the ocean by now and you’re heartbroken! (Careful not to lay it on too thick, though, or she might buy you another one just like it.)

  The boy you have a crush on has finally asked you to go see a movie with him. Too bad he wants to see a cheesy comedy that you have zero interest in. What do you do?

  Admit that you’re really not into seeing the comedy. But you’d still love to hang. Maybe you can go play miniature golf instead?

  Subtly nudge him toward seeing the blockbuster that just came out. That movie still wouldn’t be your first choice, but it beats two hours of bathroom humor any day.

  Lie and say you’ve already seen it, and then drag him to see any other movie that’s showing.

  Go see the flick he wants to see and pretend you love it (even though you’re inwardly cringing through every unfunny minute).

  A good friend of yours has just started dating a guy that you happen to know is a big fat jerk. After she finishes gushing, she asks you point-blank what you think of him. You say:

  “Honestly? You could do a lot better.” She might not want to hear that, but if she doesn’t want your honest opinion, she shouldn’t have asked.

  “He’s okay, I guess. He didn’t make a great first impression on me, but maybe I just need to get to know him better.” After all, if your friend likes him this much, he must have a good side somewhere.

  “I don’t really know him.” That isn’t altogether true, but having to tell your friend what you really think would be even worse than spending a day with her obnoxious new guy.

  “He’s awesome! I’m so happy for you!” You hate lying to her, but you’re just trying to be supportive. Besides, she’ll keep dating him no matter what you say, so why make her feel bad about it?

  Give yourself 1 point for every time you answered A, 2 points for every B, 3 points for every C, and 4 points for every D.

  —If you scored between 5 and 12, go to Chapter 4.

  —If you scored between 13 and 20, go to Chapter 5.

  Brave girl! You understand that courage doesn’t mean you never feel afraid, but that you don’t let your fears get the best of you. You would make an awesome firefighter, police officer, or stuntwoman. And in your day-to-day life, you face down some pretty scary situations. Just remember to use your common sense to recognize when you should listen to your fear and let it guide you to safety. (Even firefighters know when it’s time to leave the building and call for backup.)

  Even though your nerves are bouncing all over the place like balls in a pinball machine, you screw up your courage and walk confidently into the hallway. Already there is quite a crowd surrounding the sign-up sheets. Lizette Tores, Jasmine Viera, and Mark Bukowski are among the kids vying to get closer. Seeing all your possible competition gives you pause for a moment. Can you really do this?

  Just when you feel like you might want to turn and run, Jessie pats you on the back encouragingly. And Lena gives you a big thumbs-up. They obviously believe in you. And then you think about Jimmy, who is brave enough to show his artwork to the whole neighborhood—which might as well be the whole world. If he can do that, you can definitely do this.

  Without any further hesitation, you make your way through the crowd, grab the pen that is swinging from a string next to the bulletin board, and sign your name in big capital letters right under Jasmine’s. There. No backing out now!

  “Sweet!” Jessie cries, clapping. “You’ve got guts, my friend!”

  Lena and Charlie appear on the other side of you, clapping along. “Bold move!” Charlie agrees.

  “Yeah, thanks,” you mutter, “but right now I’m not feeling too bold.” You grab your stomach, suddenly downright nauseated. “What was I thinking? I’m going to be at the audition all alone!”

  Jessie bites her lip, something she tends to do right before she makes a big decision. “Not alone,” she says brightly, grabbing your hand and pulling you back through the crowd to the sign-up sheets, just beating Lizette to the pen.

  “Hey!” Lizette cries, flipping her curly black hair over her shoulder. “I was about to use that, you know.”

  “Sorry, Lizette,” Jessie calls. “But I’m on a moral-support mission.” With that, she takes the pen and signs her name in a fancy flourish right under yours.

  When she turns around to see your jaw unhinged in total shock, she shrugs as if what she did was no big deal at all. “Eh, it’s the least I could do for the girl who always shared her M&M’S in second grade. Besides, it’ll be way easier for me to convince other kids to audition if I’m doing it too.”

  Your smile couldn’t get any wider if your face were made of rubber. “Have I mentioned lately how utterly awesome you are?”

  Jessie blows on her fingernails and wipes them on her shirt. “Yeah, yeah. Tell me something I don’t know.”

  As you move in to give Jessie a bear hug, Lena pipes up, “Well, I’ll tell you something I do know—this is going to be an excellent angle for the blog! Two lifelong friends, united in justice, divided by competition…it’s Pulitzer Prize—worthy!”

  “Whoa, I wouldn’t go that far,” you protest. “Especially since we don’t know who else is auditioning. We might both get blown out of the water!”

  Lena pauses midtype. “Good point. Let’s check out who else you’re up against.” Thank goodness, the crowd has thinned a little as kids have started heading back toward their homerooms. “Let’s see,” she says, scanning the list. “Jasmine Viera, Lizette Tores, Kevin Minks, Megan Dunn…uh-oh…”

  Note: It is never a good thing when one of your pals says “uh-oh.”

  “What’s wrong?” Jessie asks. “Unless Taylor Swift herself is auditioning, I don’t see a problem.”

  “You might want to look again,” Lena answers, pointing toward the top of the list, where you see a name that fills you all with dread.

  Mona Winston.

  “Uh-oh,” you and Jessie say at the same time.

  You and Mona have had a rocky relationship ever since you stepped on her shoe when she first transferred to your school. You wish you could say you’d found a way to make peace with her since then, but the past few months have just made it worse. Mona and Jimmy were supposed to attend Shawna’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory–them
ed thirteenth birthday party together over the summer, but they had a big fight instead and haven’t spoken much since. So the fact that everyone knows you and Jimmy have been hanging out a little hasn’t exactly made Mona your biggest fan. (Not that she had ever been a fan of yours to begin with.)

  “Oh, that’s just perfect,” you deadpan. “As if she doesn’t hate me enough as it is, now she’s going to see my signing up to audition as a personal challenge.”

  “But that’s completely irrational,” Lena reasons. “Half the school is auditioning.”

  “Yeah, but being rational isn’t exactly what Mona is known for,” you answer, that swirling feeling in your stomach getting stronger and stronger. “Could this get any worse?”

  Wincing a little, Jessie sighs and says, “Well…yeah, it can.” She slowly points out the list of kids who have signed up to be student judges.

  Following her finger, you see that just as Amy predicted, Lisa Topple and Maria Santos are at the top of the list.

  Great. So not only would you be going up against Mona—who usually gets what she wants—but also the judges’ table will be chock-full of her entourage. Your Taylor Swift moment in New York is starting to look like more and more of a long shot.

  You walk back to your homeroom dejectedly, making it inside just before the bell rings. As you grab your backpack and head toward your first class, you pass by the bulletin board again, where some kids have stopped to check out the lists. You are almost out of earshot when you hear Lisa squeal, “Ha! Is she serious? First she steals Mona’s date, and now she’s going to try and take her solo spot? That girl is deluded.”

  “No kidding,” Maria answers. “She probably can’t even sing. Mona is going to demolish her.”

  “Easily!” Lisa agrees.

  With a chorus of giggles, they move on, while you are left frozen in the middle of the hallway. You have absolutely no doubt in your mind that they were just talking about you. But now you’re full of doubts about yourself. You’re not even sure you could speak right now, let alone sing. If only you could go somewhere to practice…. If Mona is as good as her fans seem to think, you definitely need some rehearsal time, pronto. Too bad you have history class next period. Or do you?

  Brava! You were brave enough to throw your hat into the audition ring, even if the thought of actually going through with it does make you want to puke. Thank goodness for friends like Jessie, though. Who else would sign up for something so terrifying just so you won’t have to go through it alone? But not everyone in the school is as fond of you as she is. Mona, who is most definitely not a fan of yours, is also going for a solo, and at least two of her friends will be sitting at the judges’ table. As if that weren’t enough, you overheard Lisa and Maria making snide comments about your chances, and you’re not so sure they’re wrong. Squeezing in some solid practice time could mean the difference between rock-star fame and hall of shame. But do you have it in you to cut class for the sake of your rep? The anticipation must be killing you. Take the quiz already!

  QUIZ TIME!

  Circle your answers and tally up the points at the end

  You are dying to see the new horror movie that just came out. It looks incredibly creepy and word has it some people have left the theater in tears. Too bad it’s rated R, which means no way you’re getting to see it without an adult. What do you do?

  Settle for seeing the new animated comedy. If you can’t be scared to death, you can at least laugh your head off.

  Beg your mom to take you to see it. Yes, you will probably have nightmares for a month, but you promise not to force her to sleep with every light on in the house—like you did the last time you saw a really scary movie.

  Try to convince the ticket-booth person that you’re of age. If the lipstick you swiped from your older sister’s purse doesn’t do the trick, maybe you can try making your voice a little deeper? Hey, it’s worth a shot.

  Buy a ticket for the animated movie, and then sneak into the horror flick. You know that’s totally illegal, but keeping you from seeing the movie that everybody will be talking about is just ageism!

  You’ve been invited to a friend’s slumber party, but your folks won’t let you go until your room—which is a total pigsty—is spotless. So you:

  take your time and clean every nook and cranny. You will miss most of the festivities, but your room really does need a deep cleaning. And this way, you might not have to do this again for a while.

  do a pretty good job, but stop short of dusting. You want your room clean, but let’s not get crazy.

  make your bed and then throw everything else in the closet. With any luck, your parents won’t think to check in there.

  promise your little sister part of your allowance if she’ll clean your room for you. Hey, your parents just said they wanted it clean. They didn’t say you had to do it!

  Your best friend will be out of town for your birthday, so she’s given you her gift early. But she made you promise not to open it until your actual bday. Do you stick to your word?

  Of course! When it comes to early presents, waiting is the rule.

  You wait, but you call or text her every five minutes, asking questions to see if she’ll drop any hints. You’ll break her eventually.

  Sort of. Shaking the box and holding it up to the light isn’t against the rules, right?

  No way! The second she’s out of sight, you tear open the present, reasoning that if she really didn’t want you to open it, she wouldn’t have given it to you.

  Your crush asked you to go ice skating, just you and him, but your parents say you can’t date until you’re older. How do you handle it?

  You’re bummed, but you respect their decision. You know they’re just looking out for you. You and your crush can be good friends for now.

  Invite him over for your grandparents’ anniversary party instead. Maybe if your family gets to know him, they’ll see what a great guy he is and will change their minds about the ice skating.

  Hang out with him anyway, but only in group settings so that no one can tell you’re actually on a date.

  Tell your folks you’re going to your best friend’s house, but head for the skating rink. You even tell your friend to cover for you in case your parents call.

  There’s a big test coming up in biology class that you are seriously unprepared for. What do you do?

  Study your brains out. Maybe if you work extra hard, you’ll do all right.

  Form a study group with some friends who you know take really careful notes. You may have slacked off a little, but it’s never too late to benefit from someone else’s hard work.

  Take the test and just make some wild guesses. Lucky for you it’s multiple choice. You’re bound to get something right.

  Try to get a peek at the teacher’s edition of the textbook—the one with all the answers in it. Some might call that cheating. You call it efficient test taking.

  Give yourself 1 point for every time you answered A, 2 points for every B, 3 points for every C and 4 points for every D.

  —If you scored between 5 and 12, go to Chapter 7.

  —If you scored between 13 and 20, go to Chapter 6.

  The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth: That’s your motto. Your friends and family know that they can always depend on your honest opinion. And you never have to worry about getting caught up in lies, since they’re just not your style. But while honesty is usually the best policy, make sure you’re not being too blunt in the process. There’s a difference between being up-front and being hurtful.

  Jessie is eagerly awaiting your answer. She obviously thinks that her rendition of “You Belong with Me” was right on target. But the truth is she butchered it, and you’re too good a friend to let her walk into that audition thinking anything else.

  “Um,” you begin hesitantly, “can I be honest?”

  Jessie blinks in confusion. “Duh, of course you can! We’re friends, aren’t we?”

  You sincerely hope she
remembers that, once you tell her what you really think.

  “Okay. Don’t get mad, but your singing? Well, it needs a little work.”

  Jessie stares back at you blankly for a moment too long. “Are you kidding?”

  “Sorry, but no. I’m being totally serious.”

  “Oh.” The silence that follows is the very definition of awkward. She kind of shifts back and forth in her knee-high boots, looking everywhere but at your face. The faint freckles across the bridge of her nose have deepened to a darker brown, which tends to happen when she’s blushing. You know you’ve embarrassed her by forcing her to sing and then basically telling her that she stinks. You won’t be up for any friendship awards this year, you guess.

  “Whatever,” she says finally. “You’re just saying that to be mean, because I have the guts to audition unlike some people I know.”

  Ouch. That hurt. Your hand flutters up to your chest as if Jessie has just punched you there. You can tell she immediately regrets saying that but is too hurt herself at the moment to apologize. This could easily turn into a silent-treatment war, but you don’t want it to go that far. You know she’s sorry, even if she can’t say it. So you throw up your white flag first.