And the tears I have left, they aren’t of pain or hurt. They’re tears of gratefulness to this strange woman who came into my life. I squeeze her hand. I say, ‘I’m sorry I doubted you.’
But Epiphany, she doesn’t need apologies. ‘Talk,’ she says as her voice begins to falter.
She knows I understand the request. Despite being the ultimate believer, it’s still frightening, death is. Just like Emma, she wants a familiar voice by her side.
‘Your name,’ I begin, ‘is Hanna…’ Epiphany smiles and her green eyes flash one last time. Then she turns to her daughter and takes her small hand in hers and places it on her chest.
And on this stormy day, in this secret room, as eleven other girls huddle in the corners, as Hollywood’s most powerful man lies dying on the floor, I speak to Hanna – a girl who heard voices from God – as she looks into the eyes of her daughter, a daughter she’s fought for twelve years to find. I recount our origin – our story. I tell Hanna about Emma, and how her daughter looks like her. I say how I can tell she’s just as strong as her mother, and just as kind as Emma. And I tell her about the dreams I used to have of her and how, in those dreams, I knew she was the Deliverer, and how I finally understand what that means. And I talk and talk and talk until Epiphany Jones joins her voices.
Acknowledgements
No novel makes it to the shelves by the writer’s will alone. You are only holding this book because of the cumulation of the work of a number of people, whether direct or indirect; whether they know it or not.
Thanks to my family, who didn’t question (too much) the wisdom of me leaving a six-figure job to become a writer.
To Harriett Gilbert, I would not be where I am today had she not accepted me.
To Jonathan Myerson, tutor turned friend, who encouraged my writing, uncannily, at the times I needed it most.
To Jessica Ziebland, David John, and Toby Minton. Quarterly dinners with my writer buddies keep me sane.
To Luke Dormehl, for contacting me out of the blue that one morning.
To Harriet Poland, Henry de Rougemont, and my agent Maggie Hanbury for believing not only in the novel, but in myself as a writer.
To Martin Fletcher and West Camel, for their extraordinary editorial insights.
To Karen Sullivan, my wonderful publisher who is, no doubt about it, the hardest working person in the industry.
To Jose Farinha, who lets me fuck off when I need to.
To John Ames, whose existence brings relief that my weird thoughts aren’t mine alone.
To Charles Gentry, who seems to scoff at everything, but liked the manuscript.
To Jo.
Finally, this book would not be possible without a number of shitty things happening over a lifetime. We only ever hope for the good, but sometimes it is suffering that propels us forward. Only when it has passed can we be thankful for what it’s revealed.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Michael Grothaus is a novelist and journalist who spent years researching sex trafficking, using his experiences as a springboard for his debut novel Epiphany Jones. Born in Saint Louis, Missouri in 1977, he spent his twenties in Chicago, where he earned his degree in filmmaking and worked for institutions including The Art Institute of Chicago, Twentieth Century Fox and Apple. As a journalist he regularly writes about creativity, tech, subcultures, sex and pornography, the effects of mass media on our psyches, and just plain mysterious stuff for publications including Fast Company, VICE, The Guardian, Engadget, and more. He’s also done immersion journalism at geopolitical events including the Hong Kong protests against Beijing in 2014. His writing is read by millions of people each month. Michael lives in London.
Copyright
Orenda Books
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First published in the United Kingdom by Orenda Books 2016
This ebook edition published by Orenda Books 2016
Copyright © Michael Grothaus 2016
Michael Grothaus has asserted his moral right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the written permission of the publishers.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 978-1-910633-34-2
Typeset in Garamond by MacGuru Ltd
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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