“I wasn’t! You know I wasn’t!” Ashleigh said, and Mel wished more than anything that she couldn’t overhear when Ashleigh’s voice broke. “You were never going to marry me, Mitch. It was never going to happen! How long can you expect me to wait, when I’m the only person who wants it to work?”
Ashleigh seemed to be crying, and Mitch responded by speaking more softly—soft enough that Mel could try not to overhear, if she retreated to the other side of the basement. She busied herself with putting away the mess from the weekend, humming to drown out the still earnest conversation upstairs. She was startled to hear a little voice address her.
“Mel?”
Mel looked up to see Aiden standing at the foot of the stairs. “Hey, you’re back!” she smiled, holding out an arm for a hug, which Aiden eagerly ran toward.
“I was supposed to wait in the car, but I got cold,” he said. “I came in through the back door so I wouldn’t get in trouble.”
Mel ruffled Aiden’s carrot-top and said, “Well, I’m really glad you came. I would have been sad not to say goodbye to you after our fun weekend.”
“Me, too,” he said sadly.
Mel could tell he was upset by his parents’ arguing; what kid wouldn’t be? Heck, even she was upset, and she was basically an unconcerned party. To cheer him up, Mel said, “Want to watch a movie and help me clean up?”
Aiden nodded. He picked a Claymation Christmas special from Mel’s collection and hummed along to the songs while he helped stack board games in the cupboard. Mel wasn’t getting along particularly fast these days, but even so, they had most of the mess cleaned up by the time the voices upstairs finally seemed to quiet down a little. Mel didn’t know what they were saying—didn’t really want to know—but she figured she’d have to let them know Aiden was with her before they noticed he wasn’t in the car and got worried.
“Hang on a second, buddy,” Mel said, turning down the volume on Aiden’s movie. She limped to the foot of the stairs, then called, “You guys?”
After a short pause, Mitch said, “Yeah?” It was a breathless answer, and Mel had a very fleeting thought about what they could have been doing (in her home, no less!) before shaking off her surprise and annoyance to focus on the matter at hand.
“I just wanted to let you know Aiden came inside, and he’s down here watching Christmas movies with me.”
“What?” Ashleigh’s voice, rekindled with all her earlier anger and even greater volume, rang through the house, and Mel could hear her heels clambering as she rushed down the stairs.
“Movie time’s over, kiddo,” Mel said softly to Aiden, who, after a brief respite, now looked even more worried than he had before. “Don’t worry,” she added. “I know there is a lot of yelling, and things are confusing right now, but I promise, nobody’s mad at you, okay? It’s not your fault. Everybody loves you just as much as ever, and that’s never going to change.”
Mel was still saying this when Ashleigh reached them, and she pulled Aiden into her arms and snapped, “He knows that!”
Mel was taken aback, and Aiden looked even more miserable. Ashleigh was at least two inches shorter than Mel, even in heels. Her blonde hair was in shining curls around her head, and she was incredibly beautiful—just the kind of woman Mel would have expected Mitch to go for. Even red-faced and shaking with anger, she was gorgeous.
Mitch had arrived on Ashleigh’s heels, and he said, “I’ll call you tomorrow, Ash. For now, you better go.”
Ashleigh said, “Fine,” and then looked at Mel with such disgust that for a second, Mel actually felt ashamed—until she realized she had nothing to be ashamed of.
Mel held her head high. “Bye, Aiden,” she said, with a smile that no amount of unjustified meanness could dim. “Thanks for being such a great helper this weekend. I don’t know what I would have done on one leg!”
Aiden returned her smile cautiously, saying, “You’re welcome. Bye, Mel.”
Ashleigh rushed him up the stairs, but turned to glare one more time at both Mel and Mitch before ascending them herself.
Mel crossed her arms and waited for the eventual slam of the front door. It came, and then Mel looked up at Mitch, who was standing beside her with a face that was totally unreadable.
“So, that was Ashleigh,” she said mildly. Mel honestly couldn’t think of anything else to say. Her heart wanted to add, “She seems hurt.”
But Mitch didn’t let her say anything. He took a deep breath, then pulled Mel into his arms and kissed her.
Mel yelped. Being pulled across the carpet is romantic when you have two working legs, but when you don’t, it’s a good way to pull something out of joint.
Mitch instantly drew back. “Damn it. I’m sorry. Jeez. I forgot. I actually forgot.”
He continued to curse at himself under his breath as he scooped Mel gently into his arms and carried her to the kids’ beanbag chairs on the floor by the television.
Mel wanted to act like everything was alright, but she was genuinely hurting. Her knee throbbed, and the anxiety she felt that something worse might be wrong now actually brought tears to her eyes, which she blinked frantically to hide.
And also, Mitch had tried to kiss her. That had happened. So, lots to think about.
Mitch, for his part, went straight into “doctor mode.” He rolled up Mel’s pantleg so he could see her knee, then carefully removed the brace and bandages that had been stabilizing it. His touch was soft and careful, but his skin was rough, and Mel felt her own skin start to tingle. While he stared at her knee, she stared at his mouth.
“Does this hurt?” he asked, prodding a point under her knee.
“No,” she answered, but quickly adjusted her answer to, “Yes!” when he shifted his hands slightly.
“Yeah,” he said, “that’s a small sprain. But I’m like…90 percent sure it isn’t your ACL.” He shifted his hands back and gave the sore spot a small tap. “Yeah, it isn’t. I’m guessing you were favoring these other muscles, so they’re the ones that got pulled.”
He picked up her leg and began to guide her through some range of motion exercises. While he worked, he said, “I’m really sorry, Mel. Here I’m supposed to be helping you, and then I go and do something like this.”
Mel shook her head and said, “No, it’s fine.”
He raised his eyebrows. “No, it isn’t. I was just upset,” he added. “Upstairs. Ashleigh…when you yelled up to us. We were…well…”
Mel had heard enough to surmise what they’d been doing, so she didn’t need the benefit of Mitch’s guilty look and blush to put two and two together. So many confusing thoughts flooded her mind. Was he just kissing her because he couldn’t kiss Ashleigh? Was it a rebound kiss for him? It had just felt like an impulsive thing, but something he might have already wanted. Unless she was projecting, and she was the only one who wanted it.
And then, there was the whole issue of him and Ashleigh. What did it mean that they had kissed? Mel decided to start there, because she felt owed at least some explanation.
“But isn’t Ashleigh still with…?”
“Sam. Yes,” Mitch confirmed, finally glancing up to meet Mel’s eyes as he finished the thought she couldn’t quite bring herself to say.
The sadness in his eyes disarmed her, and Mel remembered for the millionth time that the only reason she and Mitch were even friends was because he loved Ashleigh. It was all about her gift and his wish; that was it. Still, Mel didn’t really know what to say. While she could think of a million judgmental things that would probably only make him feel worse, she wanted to be able to say something encouraging and understanding. She wanted to make him feel better about the whole crappy situation he’d found himself in.
All she could think to say was, “I’m sorry, Mitch. This whole situation. It must be so hard, and nobody deserves it less than you.”
He looked up at her with so much surprise and relief, it caught her off-guard. But his pleasure was fleeting. “I do deserve it. Five years, M
el. Five years we’ve been engaged, and I never agreed to set a wedding date.” He continued holding Mel’s knee in his hands, staring at that part of the body he knew so well—one thing he felt like he could understand and control. “I was never going to marry her,” he said quietly.
“What makes you say that?”
He shook his head. “Because nothing was stopping me. Never was there a single thing stopping me except that I just didn’t feel like doing it. Like stepping up and doing what was right. Now that I want to, she doesn’t feel the same way anymore. I put her through too much, and now she’s moving on.”
Except she kissed you just now, Mel thought. Unless Mitch had sneak-attack kissed Ashleigh the same way he had her. Mel hadn’t minded it, though, probably unlike Ashleigh.
But Mitch dispelled that misconception when he said, “I couldn’t believe she kissed me. I thought for a second that it meant we would get back together. But, then she just got angrier when you called up….”
“Sorry,” Mel said sheepishly.
Mitch shook his head. “No, no! It was good that you did. I don’t even understand why she did it. I just feel like she’s jerking me around. Which is probably what I deserve, if I’m being honest, after all the years of waiting I put her through.”
Mel’s heart ached. If she sang to Mitch now and grant his wish, what would that wish be? And what would happen to Aiden, the little boy who was now so stressed about his parents’ totally dysfunctional relationship? When she thought of him, she just couldn’t bear the thought of interfering in any way more than she already had.
“You don’t deserve to be unhappy,” she said. “Everybody deserves to be happy, but especially you. I mean, look what you’re doing now, for a person who was a perfect stranger a month ago.”
He smiled. “Yeah. Here I am, taking care of you for a week, then spraining your knee by trying to kiss you.” He glanced up at her again, and Mel could tell that he wanted to see her reaction. Her courage rose.
“Oh, that wasn’t bad,” she said. “Nothing I couldn’t handle,” she added with a smirk.
Mitch’s smile widened. His jaw was square and masculine, and his eyes sparkled. “I like that you’re up for anything.”
She was still looking breathlessly into his face, wondering what he would do, when he kissed her again. And this time, she didn’t stop him.
Chapter 8
Mel was vulnerable. Not just because she was lonely, and not just because she couldn’t walk. But she was truly, deeply, totally vulnerable to everything Mitch did or didn’t do. And while he kissed her, strong arms planted on either side of her, warm chest pressed against her, breath dancing across her lips, she just kept thinking—I’m the only one this means anything to. To Mitch, this means nothing. To Mitch, he probably wishes I’m Ashleigh. He’s probably imagining I am Ashleigh.
That was the thought that ruined it for her—the thought that she was letting him use her, when in his mind, she was a petite blonde with a bad temper; in his mind, she was the opposite of herself. If that was true, it wasn’t fair to her. Maybe it was something about being in her thirties now, but she was just over being treated that way.
So she stopped kissing back. She didn’t exactly push him away, but she leaned away and ducked her head, so he would have to chase her if he wanted to keep kissing her. He didn’t.
“Mitch,” she said softly. “What are we doing?”
“Um…” he gave her a rakish grin and said, “I think that’s pretty clear, don’t you?”
She shook her head, trying to tame the strands of hair Mitch released from her ponytail. His closeness made her heart race, and all her instincts told her to come closer to that warmth. She had to force herself to scoot back, away from his body that was still so close. “You’re in love with Ashleigh. Not me.”
Mitch stared at her. He took a breath as though he wanted to speak, but it seemed like words were failing him. Mel could see that he couldn’t contradict her, however badly he might want to.
“I know you’re hurting, and I’m not upset. But I don’t want to be your…Ashleigh stand-in, or whatever.”
Mitch started to shake his head, but Mel knew better than to let him lead her on. Just because it was fun now didn’t mean it would be worth it later, and her heart needed protecting, too. “It’s okay,” she insisted. “But we’re just friends. And friends don’t do…” She gestured between them. “This.”
Mitch pulled back immediately, and his eagerness to give Mel her space actually made her like him more, if that were possible. He was so respectful. He listened to her. There was concern in his face, and Mel smiled to dispel it, even though the mere act of smiling right now was enough to break her heart.
“I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s okay,” Mel repeated, and she leaned forward to touch his arm—but the shift made her knee sting, and she yelped in pain again.
“I’m sorry,” Mitch repeated, shifting back into doctor mode and reaching for her knee. “We’ve got to get some ice on this, Mel. It’ll help it not to swell and hopefully heal up a little faster.”
Mel nodded, and she wasn’t even surprised this time when Mitch swung her up into his arms, so careful with her knee, and brought her to the staircase. He settled her in her room for the night, with ice and pillows propped under her leg. And that was that. He only had enough clothes for the weekend, so he needed to head back to his own place. Never mind that she was probably more of an invalid now that she’d been when he first arrived, what with the sprain and all. Mitch told her he’d be by to check on her knee tomorrow and asked her to call him if it got worse. And then he was gone.
Mel spent at least half an hour after he left just staring at the wall of her bedroom. She hated being alone. Never in her life had she envisioned having any reason to live all by herself. She’d always imagined she’d have settled down by now. It was miserable being so lonely. She only snapped out of it when her phone pinged with a text message from Subha.
Mel knew that, if Subha was texting, the kids had just gone down for their afternoon nap. So she called, and Mel told her everything that had happened.
“Wow,” Subha said in a tone of genuine surprise. “His ex sounds like she hates him.”
“Yes, exactly!” Mel exclaimed. “Or, not exactly, but she was really hurt. Like a lion at the zoo who bites anybody who comes close to it while it’s hurt.”
“Sure. Like that. But Mel, what did he say when you said you wanted only to be friends?”
“I didn’t say I wanted to be friends—I said that’s what we are. We are friends. And that he is still in love with Ashleigh.”
Subha sighed patiently. “Yes, but then what did he say?”
Mel couldn’t remember anything specific. “He didn’t deny it,” she said. “And he was mostly concerned with taking care of my knee, to be honest.”
“I’m sure that’s true,” Subha answered. “Is it pretty bad?”
Mel prodded her ice pack, and tried cautiously to move her knee. “No. It actually doesn’t hurt that much right now. It was just a weird twist, I think. Probably not even a sprain. I mean, how can a person sprain their knee kissing?”
Subha let that comment lie. After a few more questions about Mel’s knee, she offered to stop by. “I can make dinner, or just chat. Whatever.”
“But what about the kids?”
“I can ask Paul’s mother to come by.”
Subha’s offer was kind, but Mel declined. She did always want the company, but her independent streak just wouldn’t allow her to accept help all the time—even help from a friend. This was her life; this was her reality. At some point, she would just have to get used to the way things were.
But Subha said one more thing before she hung up, something that gave Mel a lot to think about.
“I don’t think he was kissing you because he thought you were Ashleigh, though.”
Mel had told her that theory, and now felt compelled to clarify, “I didn’t mean literally.”
“I know what you meant. And I know you think he loves her a lot, and at some level I’m sure he does, but from what I saw this weekend?”
“Stop,” Mel said. “I am too old to rely on signals and what-ifs. If he likes me, he can be a grown-up and say so. I’m not going to play this game.”
“Okay, okay,” Subha conceded. “Down, girl.”
Mel reluctantly chuckled. “Sorry. I just—I don’t know. I feel like I’m finally ready for something real. And I’m not going to settle for less, for once in my life. Like, what’s the point? You know?”
“Yes. I know. And I’m happy to hear you say that. But let me just say one other thing, and don’t kill me.”
Mel, embarrassed at her earlier outburst, sheepishly agreed.
“I just want to say that, if what you want is something real, somebody who really cares about you, he does. I figured it out Saturday. He isn’t staying with you to avoid a lawsuit, Mel. And it isn’t because he’s your doctor, either. He likes you.”
Mel laughed humorlessly. “No, he doesn’t. I’m sure he doesn’t. He spends all his time telling me about her.”
“Maybe because he trusts you. A sign that means something, if you ask me.”
“It means we’re friends!” Mel said, exasperated. She would have loved if Mitch liked her; she would have been the first person to jump all over that, if it were true. But it wasn’t.
“I’m not saying he doesn’t also have feelings for his ex,” Subha clarified. “But he probably doesn’t even understand what he feels. He’s a man.”
Mel sighed. “There are men who know what they feel,” she said, “to be fair.”
“Is Mitch one of them?”
Mel had no answer for that.
“Just think about,” she added.
Mel appreciated Subha’s point-of-view, and was flattered with the idea, but Subha just wasn’t familiar with the situation the way Mel was. She hadn’t heard Mitch talk about Ashleigh and their family, and she hadn’t felt the heart-pounding certainty that there was nothing in the world Mitch wanted more. Ashleigh was his deepest wish. Mel was just the plucky little oddball who had to sing to him to grant it.
Christmas Melody: a romance for the holidays Page 10