Mitch seemed happy with that answer. He said, “That’s a really good idea. Wow. That’s, like, a surprisingly good idea.”
Mel’s smile conveyed all the relief she felt. “I’m glad you think so.”
“Yeah.”
Mel turned back in her seat, and her hands felt cold when they moved from Mitch’s denim-covered leg. He scooted infinitesimally closer to her, and she felt the warmth of his arm on hers. They were quiet for a couple minutes, and Mel was about to ask whether they would all sit together when Ashleigh spared her the trouble by showing up, glaring, in their row. Apparently the meager goodwill they’d shared in the morning was gone.
“Hi, Ashleigh,” Mel said with as much politeness as she could muster. “You probably need two seats, huh?”
“No,” Ashleigh said. “Aiden isn’t sitting with us; he’s in the concert.”
“I know, I meant…” Mel glanced between Ashleigh and Mitch, unsure whether Sam’s name was taboo enough between them that she shouldn’t mention it.
Reading her thoughts, Mitch said, “Sam isn’t coming. It’s just us three.”
“Oh. Okay.”
And then, in the most awkward possible situation Mel could have ever imagined, she found herself seated between Mitch and Ashleigh, directly in the midst of the thickest tension, as they settled down to watch their son walk onto the stage and sing with the kindergarten chorus. In other words, she was obviously and indubitably exactly where she did not belong.
Mel had been pretty sure Mitch was joking about torture, but this was torture of a whole different kind.
Happily, it was short-lived. Mel offered to get closer to the stage to take some pictures, and when she scooted out of the aisle, she was sure Ashleigh would swoop in on Mitch. Why Ashleigh was doing this was honestly a mystery to Mel. It was one thing to have regrets after ending a long-term relationship; it was quite another thing to be so jealous of an ex’s new relationship (if that’s what her friendship with Mitch could be called) that you sabotage your own healthy, seemingly happy relationship.
Sam wasn’t coming tonight. Sam, who came to family dinner and whom Aiden asked after and learned from and liked. Sam, whose existence was a big reason why Ashleigh had left Mitch in the first place, wasn’t coming. That had to mean something. Mel hadn’t really considered any of this from Ashleigh’s perspective before, but now it amazed her that she’d missed it. Mel had inserted herself in the situation so that she could learn more about whether to grant a wish; now, it seemed that her mere presence in Mitch’s life had thrown Ashleigh’s into a tailspin.
When Mel was done snapping pictures from the front row, she decided it would be best to stand out of the way rather than climbing back to her seat of awkwardness. So she walked to the wall near the door and leaned there with her arms folded, listening to an adorable rendition of “Jingle Bells,” when she found herself suddenly approached by none other than Ashleigh herself.
“Hey,” Ashleigh whispered. “Can we talk?”
Mel raised her eyebrows. “Um. Sure, I guess.” She glanced back at the stage, where little Aiden, taller than many of his classmates, was in the back row, singing his heart out.
“Here is fine,” Ashleigh said, and she moved slightly behind Mel so she could face the stage, both camouflaged enough in darkness not to be noticed by anybody.
“I don’t know what you’re starting with Mitch, but I just want to warn you. He is not what he seems at first. Like, you’re totally smitten with him now. But later?”
At this point, Mel began trying to interrupt and clarify, for the millionth time, what her relationship with Mitch truly was, but Ashleigh wasn’t having it.
“Let me finish,” she whispered. “Later, when you need him to commit? He never, ever will. It’s like he can’t just make a decision and be final with it. He’ll make you think he wants one thing, when he actually wants another. You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what he really wants.”
Ashleigh’s voice was beginning to rise and tremble, and Mel thought it would be best to stop her. But all she could think of to say in that moment was, “Have you ever asked him what he wants?”
At this question, Ashleigh turned and looked into Mel’s eyes with apparent astonishment and anger. And then, she burst into tears.
Wanting to avoid a scene, Mel grabbed her arm and ushered her out the door to the hallway, where they could still hear the music, but have some modicum of privacy.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Mel said right away. “But honestly, Mitch and I are just friends. When you’re single and in your thirties, you sort of rely on a big circle of friend. You know?”
“I do know,” Ashleigh said through her tears. “Because I’ve been single my whole life.” She gestured to her ring finger, where the tan line from the engagement ring she used to wear was still visible. “I wore half a ring, and never got the other half. I mean, what’s wrong with me? Why wouldn’t he marry me?”
Mel’s heart ached, and she reached out and rubbed Ashleigh’s arm with sympathy. Ashleigh continued, “We have a child together. You know? That’s the thing. When you have a child together, you should get married! Everybody knows that.”
Mel, who didn’t one hundred percent agree, still felt the justice of that statement from the woman who had waited for Mitch for years, carried his son, and done everything she could to be what he wanted and needed. What had happened in their relationship was hard, and it wasn’t her fault. Mel understood her.
Ashleigh’s eyes were still swimming in tears, and she turned away from Mel, voice breaking. “I’m just tired of waiting for him. I’m just tired. And honestly? I don’t even want this anymore. I wanted it for years and years, but it did nothing but disappoint me. He did nothing but disappoint me.”
That sounded familiar. “I know exactly how you feel,” Mel said softly, remembering the promises Greyson used to make her. Promises that had raised the happiest hopes, and then left her drowning in sadness.
Ashleigh wiped her face and turned back to look Mel in the eye. She sighed, a tiny, humorless smile curling over her lips as she let out a deep breath and nodded. “And then I meet a guy who is wonderful and amazing, and I can’t even trust him. I keep pushing him away! I mean, he might break up with me over all this, and he probably should, because I’m acting like an idiot!” More tears came, and Mel stepped closer to Ashleigh, pulling her into a brief, clumsy hug.
“You’re not acting like an idiot,” Mel said. “You’re acting hurt. And that’s understandable.”
“I just want to move on. You know? All I want is to just move on with my life, and be happy. Can’t I just finally be happy?”
Mel heard her words, and they resonated so deeply with her. Her heart started racing again, like it hadn’t done in a week, and she understood. This was Ashleigh’s deepest wish. This was why she’d met Mitch; this was what she was supposed to do.
She knew it would be awkward, and she knew there could be no explanation for it—but she didn’t care. Ashleigh deserved to be happy at Christmas; everybody did. A voice in her head—her own nervous, second-guessing voice—was telling her that if she did sing and grant Ashleigh’s wish, it would ruin all Mitch’s hopes for his own wish. Was that selfish? Was it for the wrong reasons?
But seeing Ashleigh wipe away her tears was like looking in a mirror to her own soul. This was what she had felt after Greyson, for so long. Like she just couldn’t ever get over it and be happy again. Making this wish come true for Ashleigh was granting her own wish, in a way. It was granting someone else the wish she needed. And for now, that would have to be enough. Inside, the kids were singing “The First Noel,” and the piano music was carrying to them through the door. It was meant to be. So she took a deep breath, and she started to sing along with the music from the piano that was carrying out to them in the dark hallway.
Mel stood, shivering and coatless in the corridor, and sang a song to a bewildered Ashleigh, who was still clutching her scarf and dab
bing her eyes with it, but listened more attentively that Mel thought anybody had ever listened to her before. And when the song was over, Ashleigh smiled—a wide, joyful smile.
“That was so pretty,” she said. A look of confusion came over her face, and she frowned for a moment, then looked back at Mel. “I feel better,” she said softly.
“Good,” Mel answered kindly.
Ashleigh nodded, still looking at Mel like she wasn’t quite sure what to make of her. “I feel much better,” she added. “I…this is stupid. I’m just going to call Sam. I’m just—I’ll just call him right now.”
“Great idea.”
Ashleigh trilled a laugh and nodded, pulling her phone out of her pocket and walking distractedly down the hallway. “Okay. Thanks,” she said.
Mel let out a little laugh, herself. She was so relieved that Ashleigh hadn’t seemed bothered by her song. That it seemed to have helped. She hadn’t done this in a long time, and she’d forgotten—it felt wonderful to be a part of granting someone’s wish. It gave her a high, in the first few moments afterward, that nothing else could compare with. It really was better sometimes to give than to receive. Walking on air, she found her coat and crutches and was just heading back into the concert when the adults started coming out, and Mitch ran up to catch her. Seeing Mitch approach her, her heart began to sink. She had made her decision. She had sung to Ashleigh and granted her wish; that meant the end of Mitch’s wish. They couldn’t have it both ways. Mitch still wanted something desperately, but Mel could never grant it.
“Hey,” he said. “I wondered where you went. I’m really sorry about Ashleigh, back there.”
“No, it’s okay,” Mel said. “It was dumb that I came. I probably shouldn’t have, but I just didn’t want to disappoint Aiden. I thought, what’s the worst that can happen? I’m always doing things without thinking; you probably think I’m nuts.”
“I know what you mean,” Mitch said, smiling wryly. “But honestly, I like that about you.”
Even though Mitch was always saying things like that to her, it still caught Mel off-guard. But part of her wasn’t sure if she could trust it. After all, this was the kind of guy who strung Ashleigh along for years and made her totally miserable. He didn’t know Ashleigh was calling Sam right now; for all she knew, he still wanted to get back together with her. So why was he flirting with Mel? Was he really that indecisive—and if he was, was that what Mel wanted?
Before she could reply, Ashleigh came running up to them. “Mitch! Hey,” she said, smiling at Mel, as well. Mitch seemed incredibly confused by this, but Ashleigh barely seemed to notice. “Listen, I just got off the phone with Sam, and I’m going to spend the holidays with his family after all. So, forget everything I said, and the cruise is back on. But I leave, like, next weekend. So I hope you’re ready for company in a week!”
“Oh, wow. Um, okay.” Mitch sputtered for a while, and Mel truly felt sorry for him. There were two sides to every story. Maybe Ashleigh felt oppressed by their relationship, but it had obviously been very important to Mitch. Now Mel suspected it was truly over, if her gift still worked the way it always had, and Mel was a direct contributor to its end. But then Mel looked at Ashleigh, the pure joy on her face, and she knew the person who deserved their wish granted had received it.
“You can still take Aiden, can’t you?” Ashleigh asked, suddenly concerned at Mitch’s response. She glanced at Mel again and said, “I don’t mind at all if he goes over to Mel’s house, either.”
That seemed to get Mitch’s attention. “Since when?”
“Oh, we chatted earlier,” she said. “I just wanted to catch you before you left, because I know we left things in a weird place.”
“No, it’s okay,” Mitch said disbelievingly. “I mean, listen, Ash, I just want you to be happy.” His face was pained, but at the same time, he was handling this much better than Mel would have thought.
“I am happy,” Ashleigh said, and the sparkle in her eye convinced Mel that it was true. She didn’t regret what she’d done at all; she just hoped it didn’t hurt Mitch too badly.
Oblivious to any problems in the world, Ashleigh said, “I guess we should find Aiden, huh? Let’s go get him from his classroom.”
“All of us?” Mel said hesitantly.
“Sure!”
Ashleigh’s good mood was downright jarring, and Mel’s apprehension was made worse by the apparent fact that her happiness was directly related to Mitch’s increasing bewilderment and unhappiness. He was practically grimacing, and could only muster the smallest smile for his son, who was overjoyed to see Mel with his parents, and immediately also inquired after Sam.
“He’s so sorry he couldn’t make it, sweet pea,” Ashleigh said, “but he wanted to make sure I gave you this.” Then she gave him a big squeeze, lifted him in her arms, and cried “airplane!” and swung him around.
Aiden giggled, then said, “It’s better when Sam does it, though.”
Mel glanced at Mitch. No trace of a smile was visible now.
“I think I’d better go,” Mel said hesitantly. “Listen, thanks so much for inviting me. You were great, Aiden.”
Aiden spared a smile for Mel, but was much to energized to give her anything close to his full attention during “airplane.” And that was fine. This wasn’t her family. She wasn’t his mom.
Wait. Why had she even thought that? Why would the idea of being his mom even enter her head? She’d barely known the child a week.
Mel hurried away before her confused mind could over-analyze any further. The implications of all that had happened were overwhelming her. She sped away on her crutch, thinking that she really had the hang of this now. She was still self-sufficient. She could still handle…whatever this was. She could handle it. Everything was going to be fine. She repeated it to herself until it seemed true—but it took a long time and lot of repeating.
Chapter 11
Monday morning came sooner than Mel had expected, and her week flew by. There was the usual work to attend to—piles of unanswered invoices, unpaid bills, and other general business that Subha had blissfully neglected during the two weeks Mel had been away. But Mel didn’t mind it; it gave her something to do to take her mind off of the massive void left by Mitch.
She’d left the concert Saturday and gone straight home, and she hadn’t heard from him since. After two weeks of seeing him almost every day, he hadn’t called, texted, or dropped by. It was like their friendship just broke off. She’d spent most of Sunday waiting, expecting, and regretting him, and she was supremely happy that she had work to keep her busy during the days so that the misery she’d been feeling would stay at bay.
But she was curious. What had happened, after all, with Ashleigh and Sam? How was Mitch handling it all? And where was Aiden in all of this? But, Mel knew that to reach out and ask would just be nosy—and if the answer was unpleasant, then she’d just be asking Mitch to relive it all. Maybe that was the real reason why he hadn’t reached out to her in the midst of all this; she’d been so heavily involved that she probably reminded him of this whole negative period of his life.
He might even blame her, on some level—and he’d be right to do that, though he’d never know it.
It was Wednesday, just over a week until Christmas, and Mel just wasn’t in the Christmas spirit at all. She missed her family. Her parents were in Florida, and Liz and Adam had decided last minute to bring the kids down to spend a week at Disney World with them. Meanwhile, Francy had begun to feel too uncomfortable to travel, with swollen feet and a baby bump growing every day. So Mel felt lonely, and her Christmas decorations felt superfluous and silly with nobody to share them with. While this didn’t bother her every year, she had enough self-awareness to realize it was the void left by Mitch’s absence that was causing her to feel depressed now. And, worse, she was having a really hard time lifting herself out of it, for once. She prided herself on her optimism, but lately there just wasn’t a lot of it going around.
; This might be one of the worst times she’d ever used her gift. Maybe she truly had no idea what she was doing.
Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. Knowing Aiden would be with Mitch starting that weekend, based on Ashleigh’s information from the concert, Mel sent him a text: “Hey there. Long time, no talk! Hope all is well. Just wanted to let you know you and the lil guy are always welcome, even though I’m not helpless anymore.”
She wrote to him right after she got home from work, but it was close to 9 p.m. when he wrote back. “Sorry, just saw this,” it said. Then, “I’m glad you wrote. I miss you, but I figured you were happy to have a break from all the crazy.”
Mel laughed and wrote back right away. “The thought never crossed my mind,” she wrote.
He sent back a smiley face.
“When is the cruise?” Mel asked.
“They leave Friday,” he replied. “I get Aiden starting tomorrow.”
Mel was still typing a reply when another message came from Mitch. “Can we come by after he gets out of school for a little while?”
Mel eagerly agreed, and even took the afternoon off from work so she could have them over as soon as Mitch picked Aiden up from school. She was excited, in spite of herself. She knew that Mitch was probably unhappy given all the turbulent events of his life as of late, but she also wondered whether she might not be able to cheer him up, like she used to do. Her own bad mood was already lifting.
But Thursday was a cloudy December day, and it proved ominous for their visit. Mel left work early after a very distracted morning in which Subha and Amos had both teased her, and the two part-time instructors had needed to remind Mel twice that it was payday before she’d gotten her act together enough to sign their paychecks. She asked Amos to help her bring some of the basement toys up—she still wasn’t the best on stairs—and was waiting in the living room with cookies in the oven for her guests, when they arrived around three o’clock.
Christmas Melody: a romance for the holidays Page 13