“Please,” she whispered.
He stopped, but wouldn’t look back at her. Lucian couldn’t. He loved her, but there was a line, and they were at it.
“I’m sorry you were hurt, Avalon. That wasn’t my intention. You’ll have to do this without me. Nate wanted the job, so he’d best learn how to be psychic.”
Then he was gone.
Bishop stood from the couch.
Well, that was that.
It was over.
“We’re leaving in the morning,” she stated. “Use the house and the things in it. When you’re done, leave. He’s absolutely right. It’s one thing to be upset, Nate, but it’s another to blame someone when they’re doing their best. He’s new at this. My husband left his home and put his faith in Avalon. That doesn’t mean we have to put our faith in you.”
Nate didn’t know what to say.
Bishop crouched down in front of the woman, and hugged Avalon. “If you’re ever in Ravenswood, come see us. I know Lucian will miss you. I might not be in his head, but I live in his heart. I know what he feels for you, and this is breaking his heart, and mine too.”
Avalon heard her walk away. She watched Bishop’s angry red aura disappear too.
Then she stared at her hand.
“I’m going to shower and go to bed,” she whispered, tears filling her pale misty eyes.
Nate went to her. “Let me help you.”
She pulled her hand away. “You’ve helped enough, Nate. Your lack of trust in me, and in another good person, has destroyed what we had.”
He felt sick.
“Yes, Lucian and I have a connection. It’s a psychic connection. I need him to be me. I need him to help people. I also needed you, Nathaniel. I wish you would have spent more time fostering us instead of worrying what I was sharing with someone else. Then you would have had the best relationship ever. I was worth it.”
She pulled the engagement ring from her finger and placed it on the table.
“Maura, can you help me to the shower? I no longer have access to Lucian’s memories and thoughts. I can’t navigate this house, and I don’t want to break my neck. I have enough issues right now.”
“Sure, kiddo. I’ve got you,” she stated, holding out her arm to her friend.
She gave Nate a look.
He got it. He was an asshole.
Maura led her away, and she wasn’t the only one bailing. Roxy stood.
“I’m going to head back to bed, Jagger,” she offered. “I hope you work this out,” she directed at Nate. “I may have had my reservations about Lucian, but anyone can see he loves Avalon—in a big brother kind of way. In life, when you never have love, and someone finally gives it to you, it matters. I think Avalon was just grateful to finally have that connection with one more person.”
Her words were like a dagger to the heart.
He’d never thought of it that way. He’d had love his whole life. To Avalon, this was something unique. She had people to call her own.
Jagger kissed his wife. “I’ll be right up, baby. I need to talk to Nate.”
She patted his cheek.
When she was gone, Jagger and Luke stood there.
“I know. I fucked this up, again,” he said, staring at the ring on the table.
“Yeah, you really did,” Luke stated. “You have to let her off this ride. You can’t be with her, Nate. It’s clear you aren’t ready for a relationship.”
He stared at his friend and partner. “Why do you say that?”
“You just hurt people who love you, and only because you’re jealous that someone else has some of Avalon’s attention. What’s next? She’s in the static too much? Will that piss you off next?”
The coming to Jesus talk was a long time coming.
“Just let me punch him in the face,” Jagger stated. “You made Avalon cry. She’s like my kid sister. Am I next too?” he asked. “Do I get voted off the family island because Maura and I came first and that makes you jealous? Better yet, do we get to be angry at you because of you monopolizing her time?”
He got it.
“I was wrong.”
“Yes, you were. What are you going to do to fix it?” Luke asked.
He wasn’t sure it was fixable.
“I’m going to apologize to Lucian, and then I’m going to be the one who leaves the team,” he said finally. “Everyone’s right. I’m not ready for any of this. I’m not deserving of it.”
He picked up the ring.
“Keep her safe, okay? Maybe one day…”
He couldn’t think it. The mere idea that he was losing the woman he loved, and everyone else, was staggering, but he’d earned this.
Nate headed out of the room.
Jagger sighed. “Was I that irritating?” he asked. “You know, before Roxy and I fixed our shit?”
“You were worse. We were worried you were going to get the ick from your sexual dumpster diving.”
He laughed.
“What now?” Jagger asked.
“We worry about what no one is focused on because of this family fight.”
“And that is?” he asked.
“How did Avalon, the strongest psychic we know, get lured out of the house, and why?”
Yeah, that was probably important.
And terrifying.
“Back to guard duty?” Jagger asked.
“Yeah, I think so. They’re not thinking straight, but I am. We have to protect her. In the morning, we’ll investigate.”
Jagger agreed.
“I’m not sitting in those creepy ass trees. Fuck that.”
Luke laughed.
Honestly, he couldn’t blame him.
Nether was he.
At Lucian’s door, he paused.
It was time to eat crow. It was time to fix this. Knocking on the door, he waited. When Bishop answered, he could see they were packing their suitcases.
“Can I talk to your husband?”
She glanced over her shoulder. “Nate wants to talk. Do you want to see him, or can I just kick him in the balls so he knows what it feels like?” she asked.
Nate didn’t doubt she’d do it.
“It’s okay, Bishop. Send him in.”
Lucian was dressed, and he was back in a suit. The tension in his face said it all.
He wasn’t happy.
Neither was Bishop.
“What do you want, Mr. Carter?”
Great.
They weren’t even on a first name basis. This had really gone bad.
“I’m sorry. You’re absolutely right. Avalon needs you, Lucian. I was wrong to demand anything from you when you’ve given us your time, your home, and your help. I let my jealousy and insecurity lead, and that makes me a horrible leader and person.”
He listened.
If anything, Lucian knew what it was to carry that kind of guilt and blame. While he’d been hiding for all those years, he’d been an asshole to Bishop.
He’d had to eat crow.
It sucked.
“I don’t want you to leave. Avalon trusts you, and she’s had a shitty enough life that she doesn’t need me hurting her even more. I crossed one hell of a line, and I’m going to take one for this team. You stay. I’ll go. I lost my right to be here—not you.”
Bishop sat on the bed, and listened to him. She could see it was sincere.
This couldn’t be easy for him.
None of it was.
They were all working on a curve, trying to navigate their new lives. It was hard across the board.
“Tomorrow, I’ll leave. Avalon was caged for ten years, and she had to suffer. I’m done being part of that pain. She wants to help psychics, and she deserves to be able to do it without me hindering it. So please, stay on her team, love her with all you have, and make sure she can fulfill her dreams. I can’t be that person. I’m too selfish.”
He headed for the door. “Thank you for giving us your home to use, your friendship, and most importantly, your trust. I’m
sorry I damaged that.”
He headed out.
Bishop didn’t say anything.
“Well?” Lucian asked. “What do I do with this? I expected a fight, not his apology.”
“He’s beat down,” Bishop offered. “We’ve all been there before.”
Yeah, he had.
Her too.
Still, this wasn’t her call.
“You have to make that choice, Lucian. He was being honest. He’s leaving.”
“That’s why this is so frustrating. He doesn’t get it. Avalon needs him.”
She knew how to handle it.
“You needed me too. For ten years, you were locked in that same cage, Lucian. For two years, I tried to get through. Then I gave up.”
“That broke me.”
“He’s giving up,” Bishop stated. “That’s a man who has nothing else to live for, and he’s quitting.”
“What do I do?”
“When someone is too stubborn to see the forest through the trees, what do you do?”
“You save them from themselves.”
She smiled. “Save him, Lucian. That’s the meaning of family. You hurt the people you love, but you also heal them. Avalon is angry, but she needs him.”
He sighed.
“I’ll help him fix it.”
“And then?”
He couldn’t believe he was going to say this. “Then we stay and fight.”
And that was her husband.
He was a good man.
“I’ll be by your side the entire time, my handsome pirate.”
And that was the only reason he was going to do it.
For love.
Nate found a spare room and went inside. Placing Avalon’s ring on the nightstand, he climbed into the bed.
He just wanted to forget.
For a little while, he simply wanted not to think. He’d lost the only thing that mattered, he couldn’t go home because technically he was dead, and his life was spiraling out of control.
Again.
He’d lost his way, and this time, he knew there would be no way back.
He’d screwed up.
Tomorrow, he’d be walking away from all of them, and he couldn’t return.
Nate knew he only had tonight.
So, instead of facing Avalon, he went to his happy place. He wanted to sleep, so he could be at peace.
He was slipping away again.
Nathaniel Carter had lost everything.
That storm had won after all.
At the knock on her door, Avalon didn’t respond. She didn’t want to talk to Nate at that point.
“Avi, it’s me, Lucian.”
That had her attention. Lucian was the ONLY person she wanted to see. She only hoped he wasn’t going to break her heart and leave right then.
She needed time to fix this.
Fate had caught her off guard.
It had blindsided her, and she didn’t like it.
“It’s unlocked,” she said, sitting on the side of her bed until his aura appeared in the doorway.
Lucian took a deep breath and headed in. Avalon’s hair was wet, and she was in a pair of sweats.
“Are you okay?” he asked, sitting beside her.
“No. I’m pissed.”
“Well, I meant more about the nearly dying part, but we can talk about the pissed part too.”
“I’ll live. I’ll never go by those creepy trees again,” she admitted.
“Yeah, me either, and I own them,” he teased, trying to lighten the mood.
“My heart hurts,” she whispered. “I was so busy being worried about this case, I didn’t see this coming. I’m losing you, and now Nate.”
“You don’t have to lose him, Avi.”
The air in the room went cold. Lucian was glad he was wearing a suit jacket. Avalon could freeze people out when she got angry.
Literally.
“He doesn’t get it.”
Lucian knew it was time to let her vent, so he said nothing to her.
“He keeps doing things like this to box me in, and it’s infuriating. First, he takes over the team, trying to do things his way, and then, he tries to keep you from helping me.”
Lucian knew the best way to handle it.
“He’s leaving,” Lucian stated. “He’s going to go off, start a new life, and find someone else. He won’t have a choice. He died to be with you, and now you don’t want him, so he’ll start over again with a new woman.”
She glanced over. “What?”
BINGO.
“You heard me, Avi. He’s done. He’s not marrying you, and he’s leaving. He told me he’s out of here.”
Avalon’s heart began thumping.
“But that’s okay. He’ll find a sweet girl, he’ll dote on her like he used to with you, and he’ll have a life. He deserves it. I mean, he’d withstood hours of torture to protect you. Maybe it’s time for the easy life.”
Avalon didn’t like this.
At all.
The thought that Nate could love someone else…
“He doesn’t love me anymore?” she asked, tears coming to her eyes.
Lucian shrugged. “He does, but in time, he’ll heal. You did take your ring off and leave it. That’s a pretty powerful sign to a man to give up. If Bishop did that to me, I’d walk too.”
That was a total lie.
He’d fight to get her back, but he was hoping Avalon wouldn’t realize it.
“Now, he can be whoever he wants to be. He can remake himself. I mean, what’s the big deal, right? He used to be a Fed, and he gave it all up to help you live your dream. He’s bossy, he’s always trying to make sure you’re safe, and now he can move on. Why would you want a man so devoted to you that he’s aching for every second of your time?”
Avalon realized something.
She did have that.
Now, she wanted to cry.
“You clearly don’t love him, since you took off your ring. That’s the last moment in a relationship. When you took it off, that was telling him to leave. He’s free. I mean, it’s only a ring, right?”
Avalon began panicking.
What had she done?
She was angry, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love Nate.
Then again, she’d done the exact thing that scared him. She’d taken off her ring, handed it back, and used his fear against him.
Oh, shit.
For someone who saw it all, she was pretty damn stupid. She’d missed it because of her anger.
“I’m sure you’ll find someone else too.”
Avalon stared blindly up at him. She knew she wouldn’t, but she could already feel the continuum of fate changing. She could see him gone from her life, and all that was coming.
There would be no one else for her.
“I do love him. I just wanted him to see…”
“What? That you have that power over him? Relationships aren’t about who’s the boss, Avi. They are about give and take. He was jealous, and he wanted more of your time. Maybe, you’re to blame in this too.”
She didn’t understand.
“Lucian, I’m new at this. I’ve never loved before. Help me. I’m confused.”
He was aware.
He spent enough time in Avalon’s head, and he knew what went on there. She wasn’t a bad person. She was simply obsessed in her own way.
With her job.
With her mission.
“When is the last time you tried to foster your relationship with Nate? It seems like he’s trying awfully hard to get your attention. When is the last time you spent any time alone with him, being a couple?”
“I don’t know.”
He didn’t speak.
“I get it.”
“Do you?”
“I’ve neglected us while he’s trying to overcompensate, and it’s made a mess.”
Yep.
She got it.
“I should apologize.”
He gave her a kiss on the forehead.
“Yeah. Maybe.”
“Can I be honest?” she asked.
He took her hand in his. “Absolutely, Avi. What’s on your mind?”
“If I could pick my family, I would have picked someone like you as my father. You’re a good man, Lucian. Thank you for loving me.”
He smiled. “The pleasure is mine. If I could pick someone to be my child, she’d have to be you. You’re smart, you love completely, and you aren’t afraid to admit when you are wrong. Clearly, you get that from your mother, my wife.”
She laughed. “Yeah, you were tough on Bishop.”
“And that’s why I know how this whole thing feels. Forgive him, and do the right thing.”
She wanted to do that, but Avalon needed to know first.
“Are you staying?” she asked.
“I couldn’t leave now. I’ve been picked to be your family. That’s a big honor.”
“Can you help me find him?” she asked.
“I absolutely will.”
He put her hand through his arm and led her out the door. He already felt better.
Healed.
Less angry.
“Tomorrow, we discuss what happened. Tonight, you heal your fiancé’s heart.”
That she could do.
Priorities first.
When she found him, Lucian led her into the room. He opened his mind, and she was able to use his eyes to see. He waited until she climbed onto the bed.
Avalon blew him a kiss, signaling that she was ready to take over on her own.
When Lucian left, Avalon went blind again. She already knew what she was going to do.
It was time for more dream walking.
It was time to help the man she loved.
Avalon closed her eyes, slipped into the dream, and hunted Nate down.
It was only right.
Someone had to fight for him.
And it was going to be her.
His dream was chaotic.
It matched his mood.
In the distance, he could see the clouds coming. They were black, angry, and the same ones that had once threatened to destroy him.
Nate knew the inevitable was going to happen.
He was slipping away again, but this time, there was no saving him. There would be no Avalon, or Oracle. It would be him battling that darkness—alone.
Oracle Haunting (The Phoenix Files Book 4) Page 17