by Lisa Lace
Closing the door behind me, I see that Bella is indeed sleepy. Her eyes are heavy, but she’s doing her best to fight off the sleep. “Hey, I heard you couldn’t sleep,” I say softly. I kneel down to stroke her hair away from her forehead.
“Yeah,” Bella says, turning to face me. She cups her hands and tucks them under her cheek. “I want to talk to you because I missed you.”
“Oh Bella, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” I say. I’m always surprised at how honest and articulate she is.
“I know.” She closes her eyes briefly, and I think she’s falling asleep but she opens them again. “Can you read me one story? Daddy said you might read one if I ask nicely.”
“Of course,” I say. “Which one do you want to hear?” I pull out her backpack and dig through to find some of her favorites. “Any of these?” I show them to her. There’s a low wattage bulb that casts a shadow over everything near Bella, so I try holding the books on the other side of her bed so she can see them.
“Laura, can you lie down with me and read this one?” She selects a princess book from the pile, and I put the rest away.
“Sure.” I lie down next to her and read the book slowly. I see her eyes begin to droop before the last two pages are done. I finish it and wait, watching her eyelids for movement. She murmurs lightly and holds my arm in place before I can pull it away to leave. Okay, ten minutes and then I can sneak away. With nothing else to do, I close my eyes while I wait.
When I wake up, the room is pitch black. There’s a faint snoring next to me, and Maxwell’s arm is thrown across my body. Squinting, I see a soft glow around the corner and know I must have made it to my own bed. I extract myself from under his arm and swing my legs over the side of the bed. Feeling my way to the bathroom, I turn on the lights, and I’m shocked to see myself wearing pajamas. When did I change?
When I go to use the bathroom and freshen up, I find that I’m not wearing underwear. I’m trying hard to remember when I left Bella’s room. I brush my teeth and wash my face. I haven’t traveled much, but I think the time change has affected me more than I thought it would.
It must have been Maxwell who changed me, I think. I packed these clothes at the last minute when I was trying to focus on telling the movers what to box up and move to Maxwell’s house, and what to donate, while simultaneously packing for these trips. And I never skip underwear, no matter how tired I am.
I don’t know how to feel about him taking those liberties with me. It’s not as if he could have outlined all the nuances of what he has a right to do. I don’t feel violated, but I do feel as if I don’t have control over anything, and it’s off-putting. I need to feel in control. Whatever will happen during the next year has to be something I can put behind me and move on. Things like this will only confuse me.
I decide to tell him this in the morning; I don’t need it to happen again. If I put my foot down about this now, he’ll have to respect my boundaries for other things. It’ll be easier for both of us if we keep it business in the daytime and leave the nights for sex.
When I get out, I don’t see Maxwell anywhere. I peer over to Bella’s door and see that it’s ajar. Padding over to it, I see him emerge and close it behind him with a soft click. He turns to see me looking back at him. My eyes have adjusted to the darkness, and I can tell from his stance that he wants to finish what we started on the plane. Whatever I was planning on telling him isn’t on my mind anymore. I want to feel him inside me.
Drawing closer to me, he picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck. His lips come crashing down on mine. He strides down the hall to the bedroom, pushes the door shut with his foot, and presses me up against it. I love the feeling of his hard body pushing against me. My nipples are straining against the pajama top, aching for his attention. He peels down my top and releases them. He laps at each one before favoring the right one, nipping and sucking on it, causing my hips to thrust against his.
I let out a low moan when I realize that my position, as delicious as it is, doesn’t allow me much room to maneuver. I want to explore his body and watch him unravel like he did on the plane. It was empowering to be able to give him that, and I want to see what else makes him lose his control.
He drops me down slightly when he peels my shorts off. I’m bare except for the pajama top covering my midsection. I don’t feel exposed, though. I’m impatient. I tear off the tank top and stand naked in front of him. He’s wearing too many clothes for this activity, and I’m going to do something about that.
I lower his shorts down slowly, and watch his cock spring free and point between my thighs. I push them all the way down, and he steps out of them quickly, taking his shirt off while he does. When I start moving toward the bed, he grabs my wrist and pulls me back. Before I can open my mouth, he’s picked me up and resumed the position we were in moments ago.
I’m only slightly disappointed that I can’t do anything to make him squirm like he’s done to me. His mouth covers my left nipple while he grinds his hips into mine. Propped against the wall, his hands are free to roam. Both of his hands move down to my bottom. He begins kneading and squeezing it.
I’m so wet, now, and need him inside. One of my hands moves between us, and I stroke his cock before angling it to my entrance.
I push my hips forward, and the tip enters, but I want more. “Please,” I whisper. “I can’t wait anymore.”
He doesn’t say anything, but he readjusts me higher against the wall before he bends his head down to bite my neck as he thrusts inside. I let out a yelp when I feel his full, throbbing length inside. My muscles contract around him, and he begins to slowly pump himself into me with slow, measured thrusts.
Every nerve in my body is humming. I can’t get enough of the sensation of my inner thighs against his coarse leg hair. His hard chest barely touching my swollen nipples before retreating each time he pulls himself out.
I moan again and tilt my head up. I close my eyes and want him to continue all night. His hands are still under me, a firm grip on either side of my butt, stretching it apart. It makes his cock fill me even deeper. Right when I think it can’t feel any better, he starts pumping faster. The impact causes his balls begin to slap against the part of me he has exposed when he pulled me apart.
“Max, oh my God, Max!”
“Laura, dammit, you’re so tight,” he says. I see his jaw clench in the light. “You feel so good, I don’t want to stop.”
“No, don’t stop,” I plead. I can’t believe the words that come out of my mouth, but I can’t stop them. “Please, do me all night, Max. Your cock feels so incredible. You feel so incredible. I never want you to stop.”
Max groans and starts thrusting harder, and before I know it, I’m reaching the crest before I explode. I know he came with me because I can feel the wetness dripping out of me.
After he lets me down, I feel a self-consciousness that wasn’t there before. I stoop to get my clothes on my floor, and he does, too. I pause to put them on but stop when I see him walking to the bathroom, clothes in hand. He closes the door, and I hear the shower running soon after. I clean myself up a little with wipes and wait on the bed for him to finish so I can shower, too.
This is how the next year is going to be, I remind myself. Sex is sex; nothing said during it means anything. It’s only said to heighten the experience. And anyway, it’s not like either of us said anything that crossed any emotional boundaries.
So why do I feel so empty? I need to be firmer with myself and abandon any preconceived notions I have about marriage. For starters, no more princess books are to be read before bedtime, I think as my eyes close for what seems like the hundredth time today.
Maxwell
Looking at the weather, I abandon my jacket. It’s far warmer here than I thought it would be. Despite having little sleep over the past twenty-four hours, I am surprisingly alert without having had my morning coffee. If Sam hurries, we might have a moment to stop and find a
decent coffee place before getting to our meeting. I glance at my watch; it’s going to be a tight squeeze even if he comes now.
I see Laura stirring, and I’m relieved because I want to talk to her before I leave. “Hey,” I say quietly. I don’t want to wake up Bella before she’s ready to get up.
“Hey,” Laura replies. She has a polite smile on her face, far different from the passionate look she had last night.
“We have an event we need to attend tonight. They just sent over the details earlier this morning, or I would have told you to pack something. I know you won’t have time to shop for anything, so I’m going to have Norma find a place over here that will bring you some dresses to try on.”
“Norma?” Laura rubs her eyes. “Isn’t it late over there?”
“She’s a pro,” I tell her with a grin. “She knows how to make magic happen, and I don’t question it.”
She smiles. “Okay.” She leans over to the nightstand to reach her phone but looks down to see that she’s still as naked as she was last night. Her clothes are in a heap on the floor next to the bed. I didn’t think I’d taken a long shower, but when I came out last night, I’d seen her passed out and didn’t have the heart to wake her.
“Daddy?” Bella comes bounding out of the room and leaps into my arms. “Where are you going? Can I come too?”
I look past her to see Laura straining to reach her pajamas. I keep Bella facing me and reach down quickly to scoop them up and toss them on the bed. She flashes me a grateful look before shimmying into them under the blankets, in time for Bella to crane her neck back.
“Laura, are you going too?” She looks worried.
“No, sweetie. You and I are going to spend the day together. We get to explore the city and find fun places to visit.”
Bella squirms and squeals in my arms. I let her down, and she leaps onto the bed. “I’m so excited! Can we find an ice cream store?”
“Yes.” Laura laughs. “But there’s so much more to see. Let’s make a plan after breakfast. For now, let’s get you bathed and dressed, and then I can shower while you play the vegetable game on my phone.”
“Yay!” Bella is already bouncing toward the bathroom when the hotel phone rings. It’s the staff downstairs telling me about a message they received for me last night. I’m trying to listen to them when there’s a knock at the door. It has to be Sam.
Laura hears the knock the second time, and she comes out of the bathroom to open the door. I watch Sam come in and greet her warmly. He’s brought three cups of steaming coffee with him, and I would hug him if I wasn’t scowling at him while he stares at Laura. I silently curse myself for dressing her in skimpy attire that had seemed like a good idea at the time.
They’re chatting with each other, and the man who called won’t let me get a word in edgewise. I don’t understand his English all that well, and I quickly grow agitated. Just as I’m about to interrupt him, Laura excuses herself.
“Well, let me know when you have time for it later. I did a little last night. But I have to go finish giving Bella her bath.”
I ask the man on the other line to speak slower, and he does. He tells me that my meeting has been delayed by an hour, and he was asked to inform me now because they didn’t want to disturb my sleep. They had no idea that I didn’t do much sleeping last night, I think wryly.
“Okay, thank you.” I hang up with him and turn to Sam.
“Have some coffee,” he says between sips. There is something reserved about him, and I know it’s not my imagination. Even during our ceremony last week, he was quiet. He did give me congratulations, but he didn’t ask me any questions about why I decided to go this route. His relationship with Laura has only seemed to deepen, though, I think sourly. I would rather it was the other way around.
“You’re a lifesaver,” I say with false cheer. “I was looking up how much time we had to spare for a coffee-related side excursion.”
Sam chuckles. “I’m glad I could be of help. Sorry, I’m late.” He gives me a half smile, and I give him one back. I know he’s picked up on my mood, and this is his way of apologizing. I clap him on the back without saying anything.
“Aren’t you two running late?” Laura has slipped on a robe and is drying her hands on a towel.
I’m about to tell them about the phone call saying that our meeting was rescheduled, but I don’t want to witness any more of Laura and Sam’s easy friendship. Too easy.
“We should get going,” I say quickly. “I’ll call Norma,” I tell Laura on the way out. “They should send someone over by noon. The event is late in the evening, and Norma gave me a list of quality nanny services for each city we’ll be in before we left. They’re in a gray binder. Call one and set one up to arrive by five this evening.” I’m pushing Sam out the door as I speak.
“Okay,” she calls out as I’m shutting the door.
Soon, Sam and I are sitting in the back of the car that was sent for us. He is responding to emails, and I take in the sights while I wonder what has me feeling off today.
I wanted to marry Laura. I did it. I wanted her to agree to my terms. She did. I wanted a healthy sex life. And if we can manage to do something on a plane and follow it up with an equally adventurous position within the same day—and while jet-lagged—I know we’ve got that box checked, too.
But I know something is missing. And until I pinpoint it, it’s going to eat away at me. I like Laura. I think if we met under different circumstances, we might have been good friends, if not lovers. She’s easygoing but serious when she needs to be. She’s excellent with kids, from what I can tell. She works hard, and her work shows that quality.
I wish I knew more about her than what the background check could pull up. I want to know things about her no one else does. Her favorite coffee, if she has a sweet tooth, or if she prefers savory foods.
Turning away from the window, I unlock my phone and flip through the photos until I get to the one from our court date. Riley insisted on taking a quick photo shoot, despite our protests. There are a few with all of us who attended the small ceremony, and then a few of Laura, Bella, and myself.
Then there are two with just Laura and me. In the first one, we look composed, and both of us are smiling for the camera. The second one, I didn’t see until later. It wasn’t planned, but Riley captured a picture of Laura looking up at me and laughing. I’m smiling at her, and I have my hand next to her ear, but with the camera angle, it appears as if I’m cupping her cheek. If someone didn’t know our story, they might think we were in love.
Laura had asked for all the photos from that day, and I sent them all to her. All of them except this one. I don’t know why I didn’t send this one along with the rest. I thought about deleting it, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. There is something about the glint in her eye that makes this one special to me.
She looks so beautiful in this photo. Her hair is down but swept back in simple curls. Her makeup is simple, too, but she has a natural glow on her face. She wore a knee-length white lace dress with lace cap sleeves and a pair of heels that made her legs look exquisite. On her wrist, she wore a slim blue bracelet that Riley had lent her for the occasion.
The only other jewelry she wore was the 18k gold halo cut diamond ring. It was a square cut that suited her style. While we were waiting for our turn at the courthouse, I showed her the ring, and I knew I’d picked the right one when her eyes teared up. Riley, Sam, and Helen were all trying to keep Bella busy, so no one else saw her reaction. She blinked them away quickly. “This is beautiful. But it’s not necessary, is it? I mean, it must have cost quite a bit.”
“There were more expensive ones,” I admitted. “But this one seemed like the most tasteful of the options. We can have it exchanged if you decide you don’t like it. Or you can keep this and get another one.”
“No.” Laura shook her head firmly. “This is...perfect.” I heard a hitch in her voice, but when I looked at her, she was waving down Bella to come closer
so she could fix her dress before we went in.
I was waiting for Laura to finish with Bella to ask her if she was alright but Riley picked that moment to pull me away. It was one moment out of a few that day that she was something else She’d yanked me aside and made sure I knew exactly how she felt about the whole agreement.
“You know I admire you so much, Mr. Brideau,” she’d started off carefully. “But if you mislead Laura in any way, you will regret it.”
“Really?” I’d chuckled. “I don’t know if I can take your threats seriously.”
“Remember how you got punched?” she’d demanded.
“As if I could forget,” I’d snorted.
“I can do worse,” she’d threatened. I bit back a smile. With the absence of any family from Laura’s side, it was nice to see Riley baring her claws on her behalf.
I backed off and held up my hands in mock surrender. “We have a basic agreement, and you can ask Laura—everything is carefully worded and spelled out. There’s no room for confusion.”
Riley wasn’t convinced, but she insisted on treating it like a real wedding. She’d brought flower petals for Bella to throw. She’d scooped up the rings I’d purchased for the occasion and let her two-year-old nephew stand next to us with them. It was all delightful for everyone present—except for Laura and me.
Laura had a strained smile and shifted uncomfortably. I thought she was going to back out of the entire thing at one point. “Are you okay?” I’d managed to ask at one point.
“Yes, fine.” She looked around at the small room crowded with chairs. “It’s a lot of fanfare for a courtroom, that’s all.”
She didn’t have to say it. I could hear it in her voice and see it on her face that she felt like she was deceiving everyone present. “It’s going to be fine,” I told her. I tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear, and she tilted her head up, giving me a smile that made me think the room heated up several degrees.