by Lisa Lace
“Frozen pizza, a TV dinner, spaghetti, or the offer of pancakes.”
“What kind of pizza was it?”
“Mushroom.”
“Uh-huh. Well, Megan doesn’t eat mushrooms. Laura’s against TV dinners, and who has pancakes for dinner?”
I raise my hands in frustration. “Jesus Christ. You’re all nuts. Where’s this rulebook you’re all keeping from me? I’m trying my fucking best.” I knock my fist on the counter.
Zoe frowns. “I hope you’re not showing a temper like that around the kids.”
“No. I haven’t said a word. Not even when Megan’s telling me how useless I am, and saying I don’t care about her mother.”
“She said that?”
“I guess she has a point. I left Maine because I was constantly fucking up, and the second I’m back, I’m fucking up again.”
“Language, Tom.”
“Jack’s upstairs watching a DVD.”
“Disney?”
I offer a weary smile. “Yes.”
“I told you so.”
I lift up my hands. “You know way more than me when it comes to these kids. I don’t deny it. I wish they’d realize I’m trying, though. Megan hates me.”
“She doesn’t hate you. She’s struggling. Jack doesn’t remember his dad. He was just a baby when Mike died, but Megan remembers. It affected her a lot. In her eyes, it’s happening all over again.”
“Laura’s doing well.”
“A fifteen-year-old can’t keep that kind of fear under control. She’s scared. I know she’s taking it out on you, but you have to be patient. She doesn’t mean it.”
“Yes, she does. The same way you meant it when you called me out for not being here, and the same way Laura meant it when she said the same thing.” I shake my head. “When I stay away from a crisis, I’m the world’s worst, and when I step up, I’m still the devil. I can’t win.”
Zoe stands beside me and lays her hand over my fist. I relax my hand and entwine my fingers in hers. I’m calmer when we are holding hands. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that, Tom. I’ll talk to her. Kids can be hard work.”
“Why would anyone want it?”
Zoe laughs lightly. “You take the bad with the good.”
“This is karma at work. I didn’t come back for four years, so now the universe is throwing all it’s got at me.”
“Enough with the self-pity, Tom! I know you’re finding this hard, but none of this situation is about you. Try to put yourself in Megan’s shoes, and realize that the insults, as personal as they seem, aren’t about you. Laura having an accident isn’t the universe teaching you a lesson. None of this is about you. You might cope better if you stop putting yourself at the center of everything.”
“You’re not the first person to call me arrogant since I got here.”
“Then maybe you should listen.”
I close my hand more tightly around Zoe’s, catching her gaze and holding it intently. “I really am trying, Zoe.”
“I know.”
She’s standing really close to me now. I turn my head, and my lips brush against hers. She takes in a sharp breath of surprise but doesn’t pull away. I lean in again, kiss her once more.
For a moment, she reciprocates, pressing her lips down against mine. Then she pulls back, placing a palm on my chest to keep me at arm’s length. She turns away. “We can’t do this, Tom.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not the right time. We have to put the kids first.”
“We are.”
“And what if we fall out again? The kids have enough on their plate without being in the middle of two adults fighting. No, Tom. We have to think of them.”
I step away and turn to the pizza box that Zoe has brought with her. “I’ll get some plates.”
Zoe starts bringing the pizza to the table. I watch her, my heart sinking and full of longing. She’s perfect. Even when she calls me out on my bullshit.
She’s kind, selfless, and entirely in control. And totally out of reach.
Zoe
We’re on the brink of November, a week since Laura’s accident. I’m in my shop, twisting wreaths into shape when my cell rings. It’s Tom.
“Hi, Tom?”
“Zoe. I’ve just had news from the hospital. Laura’s awake.”
“What! That’s fantastic news!”
“She came to last night. We’re allowed to see her. The doctor says she’s a bit out of it, but she’s talking. No signs of memory loss or any kind of brain damage from the coma. They’re still running tests to see if they can detect any more nerve damage.”
“Thank God she’s awake. Megan will be over the moon. Have you told her?”
“No. It’s her first day back at school. I didn’t want to drag her straight back out again.”
“I think we should pick her up. We promised to keep her in the loop.”
“If you think that’s best. I’ll pick her up. What about Jack?”
“We can bring Jack later. He might be too rough with Laura. Let’s give her a little longer to come to.”
“Are you ready now? I’ll pick you up, we can get Megan, and then go straight to the hospital.”
I look at the dozens of unfinished wreaths in front of me. I have orders coming out my ears. Many are already late.
Laura comes first. “I’ll be ready.”
I close up the store, and when Tom arrives minutes later, I’m ready to make the dash through the cold to the Mercedes.
“Wow. You can tell winter’s here.”
Tom grins at me. “Laura’s awake. Can you believe it?”
“I know! I thought she was only going to be out a couple of days, so when they still hadn’t brought her around, I was starting to worry.”
“We’re out of the woods now. No brain damage. Thank God. Anything else, we can handle. The kids have their mother.”
He’s alight with joy. I don’t know if he’s more pleased that Laura’s come through safely, or that she’ll now be able to give him guidance with the kids. Either way, it’s nice to feel like it’s not a sin to smile anymore. The relief is indescribable. Laura’s going to make it.
We pick up Megan. When she first approaches the principal’s office, where we’re waiting for her, she looks stricken, taking small, terrified steps, but when we tell her the reason that we’re there, her face erupts into a huge smile.
“I told you we wouldn’t go without you, Megan! Your Mom’s awake. Let’s go.”
Megan throws herself into my arms, her grin contagious. “Let’s go!”
Within thirty minutes, we’re at the hospital. Megan insists we stop at the gift shop to get balloons and flowers. For once, she’s happy and animated. It’s good to see her smile.
We head to Laura’s room. True to the doctor’s word, she’s awake, although still locked into the braces at her head and lower back, her legs uncomfortably draped over the rubber block.
When we enter the room, it takes a moment for her eyes to focus, but then she smiles. A wave of joy passes between us.
Megan dashes across the room and leans over her mom to kiss her on the cheek. Her tears fall onto Laura’s face; happy tears. “Mom! You’re awake. How do you feel?”
Laura tries to answer but struggles to form the words. Her lips are chapped and dry, her throat sore from the breathing tube that’s now been removed, replaced by small plastic tubes at her nose.
I step forward and take Laura’s hand. “Ssh. Don’t try to speak. You’ve been through a lot of trauma. Have the doctors explained?”
I’m not sure if her eyes are telling me “yes” or “no,” so I tell her what’s happened. “You had a car accident. You’ve been in a coma for a week. Your back is broken. You’ve had surgery.”
I think she understands. I see panic in her eyes.
I stroke the back of her hand. “Don’t worry, Laura. They’ve put you into traction; a brace. They’re stabilizing you while you recover. It’s going to take a couple months,
but you should be as good as new.”
Megan takes Laura’s other hand, holding it close to her face. “Mom, can you squeeze my hand?”
Her face lights up, and she turns to Tom and me with a huge smile. “She squeezed it! She can hear us. She understands.” She closes her eyes and lifts her face upward. “Thank God.”
“We brought you flowers, Mom. And balloons. See?” Megan holds the balloons where Laura can see them. A smile twitches at the corner of Laura’s mouth.
I take Megan’s shoulders and give them a squeeze. “Good idea, sweetheart. She likes them. Why don’t you put the flowers over by the TV where she can see them? We’ll put the balloons over in the corner.”
I watch Laura closely, looking for any sign that she’s not the same as she was before. Her eyes are darting side to side like she’s looking for someone.
I grab Tom’s hand and pull him forward into her line of sight. “Tom’s here, look!”
Another smile twitches.
I grin, and squeeze Tom’s hand. “She’s pleased you’re here.” I turn back to Laura and say loudly, “We’re taking good care of the kids. They’re both safe and well. Jack’s still at school. We didn’t want him to be too rough when you’d just woken up. We’ll bring him over a little later.”
Megan pulls up a chair beside Laura and holds onto her hand for dear life. She talks to her at a hundred miles an hour, filling her in on everything that has happened in the last week. When she runs out of news to share, she starts reading to Laura from one of the magazines on her table.
I collapse down into another chair at the back of the room. A tremendous weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Finally, I can breathe.
Tom
Tess has agreed to look after both Megan and Jack for a few hours, so Zoe and I can finally unwind. It’s been a long, difficult week, and at last, there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel.
I take Zoe out to dinner—somewhere low-key, with a few quiet, dark corners to get lost in. We sit at a booth at the back of the restaurant.
As soon as I sink into the fraying red leather, all my stress melts away. I don’t realize how tense my muscles have been until they begin to relax. The constant, dull headache that I’ve had for days finally starts to ebb away.
I smile at Zoe. “I told you she’s a fighter.”
“You told me.”
We raise our glasses of lemonade to Laura. We’re not drinking tonight. I’m picking up the kids from Tess later.
“I feel kind of guilty going out,” Zoe confesses.
“Why? We’re celebrating Laura’s first step on the road to recovery.”
“I can’t tell you how glad I am that’s she’s on the mend. My heart stopped when I heard she’d had the accident. I feel like I’ve been holding my breath since Thursday.”
“Now you can breathe.”
“Yes.” She lets out a long, low breath, then grins. “It feels good to breathe.”
“Interesting place you picked for tonight.”
“I didn’t want to dress up,” Zoe tells me. “After this week, I just wanted to go somewhere I could disappear for a while.”
“We didn’t have to come out.”
“No. Having a change of scenery is nice. The empty apartment has been haunting me this week. I couldn’t stop thinking about Laura and dreading the worst. Maybe I’ll finally be able to sleep again.”
“You could have stayed at Laura’s. You didn’t have to be alone.”
“You know why I wouldn’t.”
“And now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Now that Laura’s on the mend, does it mean we can get back on track?”
Zoe looks surprised. She clears her throat, tapping her fingers on the edge of her glass. “I know she’s awake, but it still doesn’t feel right to focus on anything else.”
“I don’t want to miss our chance.”
I wonder if I’m fucking up again. It seems that my priorities are never in the right place. My timing is always wrong.
I care about Laura, and I’ll be there for her kids. I want nothing more than for her to get better and come home. That doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten all about Zoe.
The more time I spend with her, the more I want her. She’s effortlessly brilliant. She’s steady, sure and calm in an emergency. Since Laura’s accident, I’ve appreciated her lack of judgment—even when I’ve been making mistakes left, right and center.
“I don’t want to miss it either,” she says at last. “But we have to tread carefully. We’re still responsible for Megan and Jack. We can’t get carried away in some romance that leaves them behind. I’m serious about that.”
“I understand.”
She smiles at me, and then the waiter brings our orders. We both have a burger and fries. The taste reminds me of our teenage years. We used to pick up burgers on our way to the beach and suck down Cokes on the shore.
“The taste of burgers always takes me back to East End Beach.”
“I remember. The summer I was sixteen, I gained seven pounds. I was eating fries for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”
“Where’d that go? You’re all muscle now.”
“I’m on my feet all day at work.”
“How’s it going?”
I make a face. “Things have been on hold. Laura comes first.”
“Do you need some help?”
She smiles. “You’d do that for me?”
“Of course, I would.”
“Maybe I’ll take you up on that. Are you any good with wreaths?”
“Wreaths aren’t my forte, but I’ll give anything a shot.”
Zoe’s smile grows. She’s looking over at me with eyes full of affection. I’m not sure she’s ever looked at me like that before. Annoyance, yes. Desire, sure. But affection? That’s something new.
After dinner, Zoe asks how much time we have before we have to pick up the kids. I check my cell; my Rolex is still in a drawer at Laura’s house, banned as a symbol of my apparent ego.
“A couple hours.”
“Do you want to come back to mine?”
“Yes.”
I drive to Zoe’s apartment, and we head upstairs. As soon as the door is shut, things pick up from where they were the night before Laura’s accident. We tear off each other’s clothes like we’re making up for lost time.
Zoe grabs my hand and pulls me after her toward the bedroom. She’s not wearing any special underwear tonight—I haven’t seen her silky black robe since our first meeting. She’s only wearing an old cotton bra and panties. It tells me she wasn’t expecting to go to bed with me tonight. Zoe always has her priorities in order.
In the bedroom, Zoe drops down onto the bed, beckoning me.
She’s laid out before me: gorgeous. Her body is slim and toned, but womanly. My eyes follow the rise and fall of full breasts; they trace the line of her slender navel, and they travel down her long, delicious legs.
My cock grows hard. Zoe turns me on like no other woman ever has. Her allure is natural, yet magnetic.
I move toward her. She grins up at me. She’s a vixen. Her flaming hair tumbles over her shoulders, framing her angelic face. She lowers her head and looks up at me with those emerald eyes from under her thick lashes. She bites down on her lower lip.
Everything she does is an invitation. Her body is calling to me. My body answers.
I slip my fingers into her panties and seek out her clit. I rub her, first soft and then harder. Slow, and then fast.
She lets out low, soft breaths dripping with pleasure. The sight of her arching back and fingers grasping at the bedsheets drives me wild.
I rub her wet clit until her toes begin to curl, then she comes, letting out a blissful moan. “Fuck me, Tom.”
I enter her and move back and forth with long, hard strokes. Zoe’s breathless cries fill me with wild lust. I pound into her harder.
Zoe wraps her hands around my neck and pulls my face down into a kiss. Our tongues brush ag
ainst each other as I move inside her, faster and harder as we draw nearer. Zoe gets close to her second orgasm. I feel her body shuddering beneath me.
I thrust into her deeper; she locks me in another kiss. Our lips are pressed against each other when I come. We kiss afterward.
We cannot let each other go. We hold onto each other, exchanging kisses and running our hands over each other’s bodies. We’ve waited so long.
My cell starts to bleep. “Shit, it’s my alarm.”
Zoe sits up. “You have to get the kids?”
“I’m sorry. Tess can only have them until ten. It’s nine-thirty.”
“Oh. You better pick them up then.”
I pull Zoe towards me and kiss her head. “I’m sorry.”
Her face is filled with disappointment. Her blissful expression has turned into one of abandonment, but I know I have to go. The kids come first.
Zoe
It’s eight-thirty the following night. I’m at the hospital alone with Laura. Tom and the kids visited earlier, while I spent an extra few hours at work, catching up on everything.
Laura’s looking better. Her hair is freshly washed, and it looks soft and fluffy. Her ashen face is starting to regain some color, and her lips aren’t as chapped as the night before. Even her voice is back, albeit hoarse.
Laura can’t sit up. She’s locked into position by the traction. I pull up a chair to a spot where I think she’ll be able to see me best.
She smiles. “Zoe.”
It makes tears spring to my eyes to hear her speaking. I’ve been so worried about the kids, I’ve barely let myself feel my own fear. The thought of losing Laura, my best friend in the world, has been unbearable. Now I know she’s going to stay with me. Thank God.
A tear rolls down my face as I return the hugest smile. “Welcome back, stranger. How are you feeling?”
Laura winces. “Like shit.” She laughs, a dry cackle, but it’s the most beautiful sound. My Laura, a fighter.
“You had us worried for a while there.”
“You can’t get rid of me that easy.”
I grasp her hand, swallowing back the rest of my tears. “I was so scared. I don’t know what I’d ever do without you. You’re my best friend.”