“Sure they do. Brendon hasn’t talked to me in months, and we’ve seen each other almost every weekend.”
“Brendon’s been worried about you,” Kylie told her, causing Jessie to jerk her attention to her sister.
“What are you talking about? He kicked me out of the house the day we found out that Braydon left. If he gives a crap, he has a horrible way of showing it.”
“He asks about you all the time,” Kylie admitted. “I knew something had happened, but when I tried to get you to talk, you always shut down. So I didn’t mention it.”
“It’s for the best,” Jessie said. “Really. What was happening between us was just physical. Just sex.”
“So, what? You’re crying because you’re sexually frustrated?” Kylie asked sardonically.
“No,” Jessie snorted with a laugh. “I’m not . . . Well, yes, maybe I am. But that’s not the point.”
“You love him,” Kylie said. “Braydon.” It wasn’t a question and Jessie wasn’t in the mood to come up with a lie, so she just stared at Kylie. If her sister looked close enough, she would see everything right there in Jessie’s eyes.
“It doesn’t matter,” Jessie finally said. “Braydon does what Brendon wants him to.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Kylie snapped.
Jessie sat up straight and faced her sister. “No. It’s not. Remember back at Christmas? Brendon tried to give me an ultimatum. He tried to make this about me and him, tried to push Braydon out.”
“I’m not following. I thought you weren’t with either one of them exclusively.”
“I wasn’t!” Jessie exclaimed. “I’ve just been sleeping with them both.”
Kylie looked at her as though she were a complex puzzle that couldn’t be figured out. “I . . .”
“It doesn’t matter.” Jessie sighed. “The point is, when Brendon pulled that stunt, telling me to pick him, Braydon didn’t do or say a damn thing. He just let it happen. If I hadn’t refused, he would’ve just let it be. God, Ky. I don’t know when this got so damn complicated. It was fun at first. None of us were looking for anything more than . . .” Jessie let the words trail off.
“It got complicated when you added three people to the mix.”
Jessie stared at Kylie, knowing her expression reflected her bewilderment.
“What? You think just because Gage, Travis, and I love each other that it’s easy? It has never been easy. But that’s what makes it worth it.”
“I don’t have what you have,” Jessie explained. “This was just supposed to be about . . .”
“Sex. That’s what it was about at first,” Kylie finished for her.
“Yeah.” Jessie didn’t need to explain the threesome arrangement to her sister because Kylie was married to two men who were married to one another. At least in a figurative sense. The difference was that in Jessie’s situation, Brendon and Braydon were only in it for the woman. Period.
Jessie never wanted to admit to anyone that she had wanted Braydon from the beginning. Just him. And maybe, just maybe, she had settled for both of them just so she could be close to Braydon.
And that’s how she knew this was all her fault.
She had let Brendon seduce her. Of course, Brendon had insisted that Braydon be there when they were intimate. At first it had been intriguing, she had to admit. But then it became a little off-putting. As though Brendon didn’t want to be alone with her. After a while, she had accepted it for what it was. Naked entertainment. And then it just got more complicated because Jessie actually wanted Braydon because . . . Because she had fallen for him.
Granted, she didn’t get the same vibe from Braydon that she did from Brendon. Of the twins, Braydon didn’t have the ability to hide his feelings. He wasn’t prone to pretending there weren’t feelings there. She knew, if given half a chance, she and Braydon could be together. Alone. But where would that leave Brendon? And that was why all of this was so convoluted.
There were emotions involved, although she’d made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t want anything more from them than just sex. All of this was supposed to be a brief escape from her reality, from her life back in Dallas, from all the mistakes she had made in her past.
But then she’d fallen in love with Coyote Ridge, the people she met, seeing her sister every day, and she didn’t want to leave. She still didn’t want to leave, but now that Braydon was home, she wasn’t sure she could stay.
Kylie was right. Jessie loved him, and the thought of him with someone else was too much to bear.
“You still haven’t talked to him?”
“Nope,” Jessie answered. She didn’t want to, either. Not yet.
For now, she just wanted to be content with him being home. She didn’t want to think about him being with other women while he was away; she didn’t want to think about all the heartache she’d endured while he was gone. For three months she’d put herself through hell worrying about him, and it was obvious that he hadn’t given her the same consideration.
“You want to get out of the house? I’ve got a few hours before I have to worry about getting ready for dinner.”
Jessie knew that sitting around the house wasn’t going to do her any good. And she loved hanging out with Kylie. It didn’t matter what they did.
“How about this? I’ll call V and Zoey. We’ll all go to lunch and then spend a couple of hours at the mall. A little shopping therapy.”
Jessie smiled. It was forced, but it helped all the same. “I’d like that.”
“Get yourself cleaned up. I’ll call them right now.”
Pushing up from the couch, Jessie tried to smile for real. At first it didn’t work, but then she felt a little lighter. She couldn’t let this weigh her down. She’d gotten what she’d been praying for. Braydon was home where he belonged. The sad part was that he had clearly moved on . . .
Which meant it was time for her to do the same thing.
chapter SEVEN
When it came to family dinners, Braydon was familiar with the logistics. They would all get together at his parents’ house; his mother cooked, the women helped, and the men were responsible for cleaning up afterward. No one complained about it. Dinner was a chance for them to catch up on everything that was going on in each other’s lives. They were an extremely close family, and Braydon attributed that to his parents and their efforts to keep them all linked together all the time.
What he wasn’t familiar with was being the main focal point of the event. Tonight’s conversation had been all about him. Where he’d been, what he’d been doing, how Tessa and Cooper were, and everything in between. He rarely managed to change the subject to put one of his brothers in the spotlight, and even when he succeeded in shifting the topic ever so slightly, they would quickly turn it back around on him.
So, for the last two and a half hours, he had explained that for the last three months he had lived and worked at the equestrian center, shoveling horse shit while taking care of the animals, ignoring as much modern technology as he could, and having meals with Tessa and Cooper because they felt sorry for him. All while everyone paid close attention to everything he said. It was as though they thought he might just fall apart and admit that he’d had an untimely breakdown.
They’d be waiting a long damn time if that was what they expected.
Even if it was true.
Braydon wasn’t about to admit defeat. At least not to anyone other than himself.
But even he was beginning to question whether he was down for the count.
The knowledge that Brendon and Jessie weren’t actually together had brought about a renewed sense of hope. However, that hope had nearly fizzled out completely when Braydon arrived at his parents’ to find that Jessie wasn’t there. Everyone seemed shocked by that, which meant she had spent many Sundays right there with his family, even while he’d been
gone. So her absence tonight had been felt by them all, but, probably for his benefit, no one made a big deal out of it.
For the better part of the evening, he had wanted to ask Kylie where Jessie was, but he hadn’t found the opportunity. Yet. That was going to change in the near future, he hoped.
“Glad you’re back,” Ethan said, slapping him on the back when Braydon joined the others in the living room. Ethan and Beau were standing behind one of the couches, talking to Gage and Kylie, who were relaxing against one another while halfway twisted around to face them.
“Thanks. Good to be back,” he said. He was cognizant of the fact that it sounded as though the choice to leave hadn’t been his own. Since he was well aware of his own shortcomings, he was tempted to say as much, but Beau interrupted before he could continue.
“We’re havin’ a get-together at the house next weekend. Think you can make it?”
Braydon didn’t miss the sidelong glance that both Beau and Ethan shot at Kylie. He got the sense that something was up because Kylie’s gaze darted away and Gage wrapped one arm around her, holding her tightly.
He would’ve been more inquisitive if it weren’t for his shock. So Ethan and Beau were having house parties now? That was new. And interesting.
“I’m sure I can make time to stop by,” Braydon said, grinning at Ethan. Yep, definitely a new development for a man who’d spent years hiding out from the rest of the world as often as possible.
“Good,” Beau tacked on, turning his attention to Ethan. “I’ll be back. I need to talk to Zane.”
“Sure.”
Braydon noted the way Ethan reached for Beau’s hand. Neither of them were into a lot of public displays of affection, but it was nice to see that they were opening up a little more around family. Beau gently squeezed Ethan’s hand and offered him a quick smile before he disappeared. Braydon had to look away because he felt as though he had violated a private moment between the pair.
He glanced down to see Kylie studying him.
“Hey,” he greeted her directly. Now was the chance to ask her about Jessie, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He wanted to, but he feared it would make him look desperate. Considering all the emotional turmoil he’d buried himself under these last few months . . . that was the last thing he wanted.
“How’re you?” Kylie asked, her voice soft and sweet, just like he was used to. He was a little surprised that there wasn’t any accusation or vehemence in her tone. After all, he had ditched her sister.
“Better now that I’m home,” he admitted truthfully, trying not to let his own guilt reflect in his words. He had needed the time away, but being home felt right to him. He had never been away from his family for that long. Hell, he hardly remembered spending even one night away from Brendon. They lived in the same house, for chrissakes, and had for all of their lives.
“Have you talked to Jessie yet?” Gage asked in a none-too-friendly tone.
Well, at least he knew where all the animosity was pooled.
Braydon glanced at Kylie, noticing the recognition in her eyes. He might not have talked to Jessie, but she had.
“Not yet,” Braydon told Gage.
“Get your ass over there and talk to her.”
Braydon fought the urge to tell Gage to go to hell. It wasn’t that he disagreed with the man, but the last time Braydon checked, his brother-in-law hadn’t been appointed as his guardian. He understood that Gage was just protecting his wife’s sister, but why the fuck did everyone insist on treating him like a fucking kid? He was thirty years old. With the exception of Zane and Ethan, who were both younger, the rest of them acted as though Braydon was still a punk-ass kid who didn’t know right from wrong.
“Stop,” Kylie said softly, putting her hand on Gage’s arm. “He’s quite capable of doing what he needs to do without you telling him.”
Gage didn’t say anything, thankfully.
Not interested in getting into an argument, Braydon moved on after telling Kylie he’d talk to her later. He was too pissed at Gage to say anything to him.
He purposely avoided Brendon, who was talking to Kaleb and Zoey. He noticed Travis was in a heated discussion with their father, so he bypassed that direction too. His gaze landed on his mother, who was standing in the kitchen talking to V. Figuring that was the best option at the moment, he moved toward her but was intercepted by Sawyer.
“Hey, Bubba,” Braydon greeted him, wondering whether he was going to get a sage piece of advice from him as well, the way he had from everyone else.
“Glad you’re back,” Sawyer said, a huge grin on his face.
“Why’s that?” Braydon asked before thinking.
“Can’t I just be glad you’re here?”
“Well, thanks,” Braydon said, meeting Sawyer’s gaze. “I’m glad to be back.”
“So you were workin’ on a farm, huh? How’d that go for ya?”
“It wasn’t bad.” In fact, Braydon had actually enjoyed taking care of and working with the horses that Tessa and Cooper owned.
Sawyer reached for his arm, squeezing his bicep firmly, and said, “Looks like you got a little muscle on you there. I’ve always wondered when you were gonna finally pack some meat on those bones.”
“Fuck off,” Braydon snorted. It was true. The grueling manual labor had put a little extra weight on his already bulky frame. To hear Sawyer tell it, Braydon had been skinny at one point. Maybe he wasn’t as big as Beau or as defined as Gage, but Braydon definitely wasn’t a lightweight.
Sawyer laughed but didn’t say anything for a moment, and Braydon started to feel like a science experiment that his brother was expecting to boil over.
“Look,” Sawyer finally began. “If you need to talk . . .”
Braydon didn’t find Sawyer’s offer surprising. Especially after he had recently found out the secret his older brother had harbored for so many years. As it turned out, Ethan had been assaulted years ago, and Sawyer had been the one who’d found him and nursed him back to health.
As the story went, Ethan hadn’t wanted to get the rest of his family involved because of his fear of what his brothers might’ve done. Would’ve done was more like it. Had any of them known that Ethan had been bullied because he was gay, a shit storm the likes of which no one had ever seen before would’ve descended on their quiet little town. Sort of like the one that came to a head when that jackass Jimmy Reardon thought he could continue to wreak havoc on Ethan’s life. The bastard had learned pretty quickly just how the Walkers felt about that shit. But Sawyer wasn’t the one who’d brought that on. Not completely anyway. Sawyer had kept Ethan’s secret, and no one had known until Ethan officially came out to his family earlier in the year. Despite the happy-go-lucky attitude Sawyer was known for, Braydon had realized just how much that had affected him.
“Thanks,” Braydon replied. “I might just take you up on that.”
Sawyer smiled and then smacked him on the back. “Anytime. If you’ve got time this week, we’ll get a beer.”
“Works for me.”
“All right, I’ll get outta your way.”
Braydon nodded and watched as Sawyer walked away. As he did, Braydon had to wonder whether there was a sign on his own forehead that warned his family that he was hanging on by a thread. As happy as he was to be home, he didn’t like all the attention. But most importantly, he didn’t like that he hadn’t settled things with Jessie yet. Or Brendon.
He really wanted to head home, so he figured he would take the opportunity to say good-bye to his mother and hope no one intervened before he got the chance. Leaving without saying anything was a guaranteed way to get your ass chewed out, so he knew not to even try.
“Do you even know how good it is to have you home?” his mother asked when he approached, her smile lighting up her entire face. V took a step back but didn’t disappear.
“It’s good to be home,” he replied, repeating once again the same thing he’d been saying all day. Braydon glanced between V and his mother and added, “Everything all right?”
“It is now,” Lorrie said, smiling up at him. “I’m sure you’re tired. And I know you’ve got to get back to work tomorrow, but I wish you didn’t have to leave just yet.”
Braydon smiled down at his mother. She could read his mind, apparently. “I’ll stop by this week. Maybe we can grab lunch one day.”
“That’d be wonderful.”
“Leavin’ already?” Brendon’s voice boomed from behind him. If Braydon had to guess, his twin had sensed that Braydon was ready to flee.
Braydon turned to look at the man who was the spitting image of himself. “Thought about it,” he answered easily.
“I’m gonna head out to Moonshiners with Kaleb,” Brendon stated.
Braydon noticed that he didn’t receive an invitation, which didn’t bother him in the least.
Okay, it bothered him a hell of a lot, but he didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. It was then that he realized the rift between him and his twin was wider than he’d imagined.
Braydon simply nodded his head and turned back to his mother. He offered a quick hug, met V’s concerned gaze, and then disappeared out the back door.
His chest felt like he had a two-ton anvil sitting on it, and he fought to suck in air as he walked briskly to his truck.
Thankfully, no one tried to stop him, because he needed to get away from there for a little while.
As he passed Travis’s house, which Jessie was currently occupying, he noticed that her beat-up little car was outside, which meant she was home. He argued with himself about stopping by, but his need to see her, to make sure she was all right, won out, and he found himself pulling into the driveway alongside her car.
JESSIE HEARD THE sound of a car door slamming just outside her bedroom window, and she emerged from her bedroom, rubbing a towel through her wet hair after wrapping another around her.
What time was it?
Glancing at the clock on the wall, she realized Kylie was early. She had been to enough Sunday meals with the Walkers to know that they didn’t usually leave Lorrie and Curtis’s this early after dinner. She was anticipating her sister’s arrival, but had hoped to have enough time to shower and change before Kylie and her husbands came to pick her up. Even though Jessie had tried to dissuade her sister from going out after they finished with dinner, Kylie had insisted. Apparently, Kylie didn’t trust Jessie to be alone.
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