Well, there is always a first time for everything and here it is:
“It is not for you to climb up,” MINIMCOM said in Rei’s mind. “I just wanted to make sure that I did not intermix your atoms with those of the rocks.”
“That’s big of you. So how am I going to get out of here?”
“Stand in the middle of the rubble and look up,” replied MINIMCOM. “And whatever you do, make sure you keep your hands by your sides at all times. I am ready.”
“Ready for what?” Rei asked.
“Just step up and look up,” ordered MINIMCOM cryptically.
Rei did as he was told and climbed up the pile of rocks. He craned his neck. Directly over Rei’s head and coming down the shaft was a dark circle, blotting out the stars where they tried to enter into its midst.
As it came closer and closer, Rei thought, “What is that?”
MINIMCOM replied, “You are aware of the normal mode of PPT transport, where we create a static PPT tunnel and move the object through it?”
“Yes.”
“Well, this is the opposite. I am having the object, you, stand still and I will move the PPT tunnel through you.”
“Oy,” was all Rei said and he closed his eyes. His stomach felt a little queasy but when he opened his eyes again, he was standing on top of the bluff, overlooking the glade. Behind him was a gaping hole in the rock. Sixty meters below him were the three squabbling men.
He laughed to himself. “That is one hell of a parlor trick, MINIMCOM” he said out loud.
“As I said, practice makes perfect,” replied MINIMCOM.
“How’d you come up with that?” Rei thought to himself.
“It is all your fault, actually,” said MINIMCOM in Rei’s head.
“How is it my fault?” Rei thought to himself.
“When you took us flying to the surface when we first got here, you forced me to figure out how to modulate a PPT tunnel to absorb the angular momentum of a 7000 tonne Ark traveling at a substantial relative velocity to a second location essentially at a dead stop. I actually had to move the tunnel in synchrony with the mass so that the relative position at the other end remained stationary. Otherwise it would have emerged as just so much metallic vapor.”
“What’s that got to do with this then?”
“Once I figured out how to make a moving PPT tunnel with the target stationary, I extrapolated on how to do it point-to-point. It is essentially the same principle. I was not exactly sure it would work, though. It was more theoretical. The simulations were sound but there is sometimes a small difference between theory and practice. Witness my slight problem with your room back at the settlement.”
“How do you get a PPT tunnel to stay stable in the gravity well? I thought you couldn’t do that.”
“That is correct. You cannot. I simply build one tunnel after the next in femto-seconds. I place each subsequent one immediately adjacent to the one that is collapsing displaced by the offset introduced so that they effectively connect. I determined that if I sequenced them properly, they would probably act as a continuous tunnel for the purposes of moving atoms.”
“What do you mean probably?”
“I mean exactly that. I had not gathered sufficient proof that it would actually work.”
“Is this is the first time you tried it with a real object? Are you saying I was your guinea pig?”
“I ran over 7000 simulations,” MINIMCOM said indignantly. “It worked, did it not?”
Rei patted his chest, his thighs, his knees. “All here, I think, so I guess it did.”
There was nothing whoosh-y or pop-y about this first time. But as MINIMCOM got better and better at it, he was able to instantiate the tunnel and remove so fast that the sound of air rushing in and out became audible, hence the whoosh and pop.
Entry 3-030: January 25, 2015
Rei and the Phillies
I first started writing the modern long-form version of Rome's Revolution in April of 2005. At that point in time, even though I loved the Phillies, they weren't doing very well. In fact, their record was 88 and 74 and they finished in second place. In 2006, their record was actually worse. They finished 85 and 77, twelve games back in the East.
The incredible thing was they were about to become the losingest franchise in sports history. Due to The Ark Lords Effect, I was also building out the critical scenes for the second part of Rome's Revolution so I figured I'd work this fact into the story.
Yesterday, we saw that Rei was able to escape sure death by utilizing the first successful version of MINIMCOM's whoosh-pop snap tunnels. However, it wasn't enough to escape. Rei was simply too curious as to why the Deucadons spoke English. You will see MINIMCOM was not very happy about this:
“What if we tracked him?” asked one of the men.
“How?” asked another. “He tunneled straight up through sixty meters of rock. Ya think he’s just goin’ to sit around and wait for us to find him?”
Rei decided to interrupt them. “Hello?” Rei called out to them from over the rock. “For your information, I am not Vuduri.”
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” shouted MINIMCOM in his head.
“I don’t know who these guys are but they speak English. I want to find out their story.”
“They are going to kill you,” MINIMCOM said.
“Not if I can help it,” thought Rei.
“Where are ya?” one of the men shouted, searching the rim of the tiny canyon.
“I’m out of sight for now,” Rei called out. “I’m hardly going to show myself if all you’re going to do is kill me.”
“Who are ya?” another one of the men asked.
“I am Rei Bierak. A member of the crew of the Ark II, Tau Ceti mission.”
“Ark?” said the third man. “Yar from Earth?”
“Yes, of course I am from Earth.”
“So are we,” said the first man.
“Hush yar mouth,” shouted the second.
“Naw, it’s all right,” said the first. “He’s one of us.”
“Naw he’s nawt,” said the second. Then he called up to Rei. “How is it that ya come to wear Vuduri clothes? How do ya speak Vuduri?”
“I’ve had a year to practice,” Rei said. “And somebody gave me these clothes. They’re not mine.”
“Who gave ‘em to ya? Where have ya been all this time?”
“Listen,” Rei said. “I promise I will answer all your questions if you promise not to kill me.”
The three men looked at each other.
“Tell us somethin’ that proves ya are who ya say ya are,” said the third man.
Rei thought to himself for a minute then said, “The Phillies are the losingest franchise in professional sports history.”
The three men whispered among themselves.
“What’re the Phillies?” called out the first man.
“They are a baseball team. How could you not know that? How long have you guys been here, anyway?”
“Never mind that. Tell us somethin’ that we know.”
Well, Rei's heart was in the right place and in 2005, this seemed like a valid and important fact. But the core players of the 2008 World Champion Phillies were either already on the roster or rapidly rising in the farm system. By the time I had finished putting together the modern version, the losingest franchise part no longer seemed relevant. So I changed it to this:
The three men looked at each other.
“Tell us somethin’ that proves ya are who ya say ya are,” said the third man.
Rei thought to himself for a minute then said, “If you guys are from Earth and came here on an Ark, when they first landed, everybody’s back hurt. I bet a lot were incapacitated.”
There was a stunned silence. After a moment or two, the first man said, “Come down here. We will talk. We will nawt kill ya. Ya have our word.”
Much better. Go Phillies!
Entry 3-031: January 26, 2015
; Why do we…
In the world of Rome's Revolution, Rei is always saying something that Rome has no clue what he means. One time he said no sense in mixing apples and oranges and she thought he was literally talking about fruit. So many of our colloquial expressions require a cultural context to make any sense at all.
I was at a dinner party the other night and the host opened up a particularly nice bottle of wine. After the wine was poured, everyone clinked glasses and made a toast. I asked if anybody knew why we clinked glasses. Nobody knew. So I figured I'd start a short series here on why we do some things in everyday life that when you stop and think about it, don't make any sense.
While there are many, many expressions and customs that fall apart if you examine them too closely, here are a few that I thought I'd cover over the next few days:
Why do we clink glasses?
Why do we knock on wood?
Why do we shake hands?
Why do we say gesundheit when someone sneezes?
Why do we say rule of thumb?
Why do we call someone a dead ringer?
Why do we call a pre-funeral a wake?
Why do we mind our Ps and Qs?
Why do we call someone a scapegoat?
Many of these expressions come from the middle ages or the Renaissance. None of the originate from modern times yet we use these expressions every day. The point is that language and culture is ever evolving and the past merges into the present which leads into the future. It is never a clean break so some of the more archaic traditions continue to this day.
More tomorrow.
Entry 3-032: January 27, 2015
Why do we... clink glasses?
In the world of Rome's Revolution, Rei is always saying or doing something that Rome has no clue what he means. Many of our colloquial expressions and actions require a cultural context to make any sense at all.
There is a little scene near the end of Rome's Revolution which showed how strange this custom appeared to the Vuduri:
“Well, I am glad you came,” Rei said. “I would like to make a toast.”
“What is a toast?” Rome asked.
“It is just for good wishes. Watch.” Rei raised up his water glass. The others raised their water glasses, not really knowing what to do. “Here is to no more adventure for a while!”
“Now what?” Rome asked.
“You clink the glasses together for good luck,” To demonstrate, Rei touched his glass first to Rome’s then to Fridone’s and then to Binoda’s.
“That is a strange custom,” Binoda said. “What is its purpose?”
“I do not really know,” said Rei. “But it is fun.”
“Let me try it,” Rome said. “Here is to the end of the Onsiras’ threat and peace for all.” She and the others clinked their glasses together.
So this leads to today's question is: Why do we clink glasses during a toast?
I originally thought its purpose was so that liquid from your glass would slosh into the glass of the other person's and by intermixing the two liquids, you could prove that you weren't trying to poison the other person. Turns out, that's not so practical. Your glass would have to be filled to the brim and likely would splash a lot of wine/mead/whatever to the floor.
No, clinking glasses is related to the origin of making a toast in the first place. A king or chief would put a piece of spiced bread in a communal bowl and then everyone would drink from the same bowl to show good cheer. Once people started drinking from their own glasses, that sense of community got lost. They still had the toast but no big honkin' bowl. So clinking glasses is a modern form of showing that we are all spiritually drinking from the same bowl, enforcing the spirit of camaraderie that was lost when people moved toward hygiene.
Tomorrow, why do we knock on wood?
Entry 3-033: January 28, 2015
Why do we... knock on wood?
In the world of Rome's Revolution, Rei is always saying something that Rome has no clue what he means. Many of our colloquial expressions and actions require a cultural context to make any sense at all.
Today's question is: Why do we knock on wood for luck?
A long time ago, when people were very superstitious and believe in elves, fairies and woodland spirits, the spirits that lived in trees were considered to be kind and generous. They had a very positive vibe about them. You could touch a tree, say something nice to the spirit within and if you were lucky, the spirit would help you with your wish.
However, once the tree was cut down, the spirit's vitality was reduced. As the wood was sliced into boards, the spirit's ability to even stay awake was severely impaired.
So when you knocked on wood, you presumably woke up what remained of the spirit from within the tree long enough to hear your request and invocation and to the extent that they might grant your wish, they might do so.
Tomorrow, why do we shake hands?
Entry 3-034: January 29, 2015
Why do we... shake hands?
In the world of Rome's Revolution, Rei is always saying something that Rome has no clue what he means. Many of our colloquial expressions and actions require a cultural context to make any sense at all.
When Rei first met Fridone in Part 2 of Rome's Revolution, a form of this method of greeting had survived the 13 century gap. Here is that little scene:
“Beo, this is Rei. He saved me and perhaps the whole world. He is mau emir.”
Fridone reached out with his arm and Rei extended his. Fridone grabbed a hold of it in a peculiar way and pulled him down toward him and gave him a hug, which Rei allowed. Then Fridone pushed him back and turned to Rome. “He is mandasurte, also? He certainly does not look like a Vuduri.”
So today's question is: Why do we shake hands?
The origin of this tradition is very simple. In the olden days, people walked around armed and killed each other whenever possible. Before guns, there were knives. If a person was concealing a weapon, they couldn't very well show it to you. So reaching forward with an open hand was meant to signify that you were not armed or at least not immediately ready to kill the person you were greeting.
A more exotic method would be the forearm grip so you could check for knives up the sleeve but this has fallen out of favor, leaving only the firm handshake in its place.
The 35th century Vuduri were unfamiliar with this custom. None of them would think to try and conceal a weapon because their minds are all inter-connected and you would just know. Thus Rei brought this tradition to them, and they adopted it, without really knowing the reason.
Tomorrow, why do we say gesundheit when someone sneezes?
Entry 3-035: January 30, 2015
Why do we... say gesundheit?
In the world of Rome's Revolution, Rei is always saying or doing something that Rome has no clue what he means. Many of our colloquial expressions and actions require a cultural context to make any sense at all.
While it's not in the book, the first time Rome sneezed, Rei said gesundheit (good health). He knew not to say Bless you because the Vuduri do not believe in gods or spirits. Even so, why say anything? Can't a person just sneeze in peace?
The exact answer to this is not clear but what is clear is that a person opens their mouth to sneeze. You know, ah, ah, achoo! So back in the old days, an open mouth was an invitation to evil spirits to enter into the body. Why they just didn't go in through the nose or ears confuses me but maybe they didn't fit. Does saying Bless you really help?
Unless you are a priest, saying Bless you probably doesn't ward off evil spirits. Rather it is just a way of acknowledging that the person sneezed and you are wishing them well, hoping it isn't a sign of an oncoming bout of flu. Or the plague.
Tomorrow, why do we say rule of thumb?
Entry 3-036: January 31, 2015
Why do we... say rule of thumb?
In the world of Rome's Revolution, Re
i is always saying or doing something that Rome has no clue what he means. Many of our colloquial expressions and actions require a cultural context to make any sense at all.
When Rei says to Rome, it's just a rule of thumb, what does he mean?
The origin of the phrase is not clear but one thing that is clear is that we all have thumbs. So whether you use your thumb to test the depth of a hole in the soil or estimate the width of a board or the temperature of beer, the thumb is the constant.
I often use my thumb (and sometimes just a knuckle's worth) to measure a distance. From the tip of my thumb to the knuckle is about one inch so my thumb is a handy, dandy ruler when nothing else is available.
According the Wikipedia, your thumb is the thickest size of switch you can beat your wife without repercussion. I don't like that definition at all.
In the end, I think this phrase just means a method of estimation, rough and not held to an exact standard but nonetheless somewhat reliable because of the fairly uniform nature of thumbs.
Dopey, I know but that's the way it is.
Entry 3-037: February 1, 2015
Tales of the Vuduri: Year Two web site
I always thought that writing books would be the hard part. Turns out that promoting books like Rome's Revolution consumes an immense amount of time. After you publish the darn thing, you have to blog about it, tweet about it and create web sites.
Tales of the Vuduri: Year Two is also available in paperback on Amazon and CreateSpace.
Tales of the Vuduri: Year Three Page 5