The Suffocation of Katie

by Glenna Maynard

  “You’ve got this Kai. I believe in you.” I kiss his cheek and open the door.

  Jake leads the way to the back door. There is a bear of a man standing guard with a clipboard. Jake shows him his ID and we are all shown in without a problem. Kai has his fingers wrapped in mine. His palm is sweaty. I can tell he is nervous. We are taken to a room and given drinks until the guys are set to go on. Kai gives me his phone so I can film them when they get on stage. I left my phone in the room like a dummy because I was so excited.

  The owner of the club comes in and introduces himself. “If you guys need anything just let us know. We have a huge crowd tonight.”

  Kai speaks up and tells him he wants me near the stage so I can film. The guy looks reluctant but agrees to let me.

  The guys are trying to seem cool, calm and collected but I know they are freaking out. This is the biggest show they have done. I can see why Kai didn’t tell them about the agent. I am so proud of him. The guys all take a shot to calm their nerves. Kai hands me one and I knock it back but nearly gag as the bitter liquid burns my throat. He pulls me in for a deep, rough kiss. His hands go to my rear teasing at the back of my thong. He snaps the thin thread against my crack and laughs.

  I shove him away and tell him, “You better kill it out there tonight.”

  The club manger comes in and gives them their five-minute warning. I follow them to the stage. Kai takes his guitar and straps it over his chest looking like a rock god, and he is all mine.

  A bouncer escorts me to where I am to stand during their performance. I look out at the crowd. Oh my god, that dude was not kidding, there is hundreds of spring breakers here. I get the video ready to record. My finger is hovering over the red button on the screen.

  “Please give a warm welcome to Cooper’s Religion.”

  Kai pulls up a stool and lowers the mic. Taking his seat with his guitar strapped over his chest, brown shaggy hair hangs across his eyes. His hand shifts, brushing his hair back and he smiles when one of the girls from the hotel screams out, ‘I love you Kai.’ His dimples pierce straight through me owning my soul.

  His voice comes out so soft and smooth, it is sexual and romantic the way he strums his guitar. “If this is what being hurt by you feels like, then…I love pain…” No lyric has ever rang more true for me. “Being loved is just like being suffocated.”

  His fingers move through the chords with ease and he looks at me, his eyes burning with desire. “I’m on fire,” he sings the chorus and I die a little on the inside. “I’ll be your pain and you’ll be my biggest regret…you set me on fire. Give me your love and suffocate me…I’m on fire.”

  The crowd is loving it. I can’t believe he is singing our words! We wrote that together, my boyfriend and I wrote an amazing song and people are loving it. I make sure to try to get a close-up of each of the guys equally as I capture their performance. I pan around and get a shot of the epic crowd. This is insane. Kai ditches the stool and they do a cover of ‘Mudshovel,’ by ‘Staind.’

  I am in awe watching them. Jake is killing it on the drums, his shirt is off and the girls in the audience are screaming about how sexy he is. I hear one girl say how she wants to lick the dragon on Vance’s head. I so hope I got that in the video so I can tease him with it later. Raven is going to flip her shit because she missed this.

  Kai is holding the mic tightly between his hands and growling the hard lyrics out to the crowd. The audience joins in singing the chorus with him. He holds the mic out to them, the sound is deafening but I swear I am watching my boyfriend start his career. I can feel it. If that agent is here and watching, he is going to snatch them up in a heartbeat. He would be insane not to want them.

  I about lose my shit when Kai invites me on stage to sing a duet with him. I shake my head no, he points his finger at me, and the crowd cheers me on. I nervously walk onto the stage. I hope I don’t let him down. This night is so important to him.

  When I hear what song, we are singing my eyes bug out of my head. Kai and I have only ever goofed off singing this in the car together. We sing, ‘Future Starts Slow,’ by ‘The Kills.’ It’s my favorite!

  Kai leans up against me playing his guitar sharing the mic with me; we sing our hearts out, as if we have always been a duo. I so hope someone is getting this on film.

  “Katie Francis, everyone,” Kai says throwing a wink at me as I exit the stage.

  They do a few more covers and it is over.

  Kai rushes from the stage, hands his guitar to Hunter, and gives me a sloppy, sweaty kiss. I jump him, wrapping my legs around his waist and clasping my hands around his neck. “I’m so proud of you Kai.”

  “Does this mean I killed it and get to see what you wanted to show me?”

  “No but you can feel it for now,” I tease.

  He falls back into the wall banging my knees in the process, but I soon forget that it hurts when his finger grazes the thin white lace triangle covering my waxed vagina. I can feel Kai’s arousal pressing into my thigh. He is so hard right now and I am pretty sure my ass is hanging out of my dress, but I don’t care. I feel high on him…I am high from this whole night. His fingers dig into my butt cheeks and one of the bouncers whistles saying, “nice ass.”

  “Killing me Kai, want you so bad.” I throw his words at him.

  He takes my cue and carries me down the hallway leading to the back door. He kicks the metal door open with his foot with one strong thump. The cool air of the night hits my face and I can taste the salt from the ocean on the tip of Kai’s tongue. My backs is pressed into the hard brick of the building. His pants are unzipped and my thong is shoved to the side. He takes me hard and fast against the wall. The brick is tearing at my butt cheeks, but Kai giving me all of him takes my mind off the pain.

  I am going to look rough as hell tomorrow but being with Kai is worth any amount of hurt.

  Hunter comes looking for us just as Kai is sliding me down from the wall. My dress gets snagged on the brick and tears slightly. Kai pulls his shirt off and gives it to me to cover my ass with.

  “Man, there is some dude in a suit looking for you.”

  I squeeze Kai’s hand. This. Is. It.

  Chapter 21

  I am clutching Kai’s hand when the man in the suit hands him his business card. HOLY SHIT! I recognize him, well his name. He is not just some agent—he is THE agent! This guy has discovered at least ten of my favorite Indie bands. I step back and give Kai and the guys privacy to talk with him.

  I watch my guy with pride and tears swelling in my eyes as he shakes hands with Clive Owens, agreeing to see him tomorrow before we leave town. After Clive walks away Kai whispers in my ear, “You know what I will always remember about tonight, that will stick out the most?”

  “What’s that?”

  “That you totally just met Clive Owens with my cum running down your thigh.” He cracks a smile, flashing his dimples in my direction.

  Can I just die now!

  “Shut up Kai!” I bury my head in his shoulder.

  “Well you are shirtless,” I tease but it is nowhere near the same.

  I go to the bathroom and try to make myself look somewhat normal while Kai and the guys load the van. My dress is trashed. But hot sex with Kai Cooper against the side of a building is totally worth it.

  The guys drive Kai and I back to the hotel, dropping us off so they can go back out to celebrate.

  When we get in the room, Kai wakes his mom and Khloe up to share the news, after getting a shirt and letting me change. No way was I going to try to explain what happened to me.

  Kelli can’t believe her ears. Clive wants to fly him and the band to LA, in a week to meet with a huge record label. I know she has been supportive of Kai having the band, but I don’t think she realized how talented they are. I still have Kai’s phone so I show her the video. She cries proud tears seeing how truly amazing he is.

  “I am so proud of you Kai,” she wraps her arms around him. “Your father is going to be hard
to convince. But if this is your dream we will make it happen,” she tells him embracing him once more. She reaches for me bringing me into their hug. Khloe joins in wrapping her arms around my leg not knowing why we are all smiling with happy tears.

  ~**~

  I am so elated for Kai; Cooper’s Religion is going to take off. My boyfriend the rock star. I smile at him as he and the rest of the band wait for Clive Owens to come talk to them before we check out. I am taking Khloe down to the beach to play one last time so they can have privacy. His mom is staying to make sure everything is legit.

  Khloe is burying my feet in the sand. I pull my phone from my bag and mark today’s date as being the day my boyfriend has his dream come true. The date catches my eye. Today is Penny’s birthday. I do the right thing and I send her a text.

  Me: Penny I know I am the last person you expected to hear from today, but no matter how you feel about me. I am sorry I didn’t tell you about Aaron. Anyway Happy Birthday. I hope you have an amazing day. Katie <3

  My phone rings. Penny is calling me. Despite everything, I miss her. “Hello.”

  “Katie!” She starts to cry. “I’m so sorry I was an awful bitch. I shouldn’t have treated you so horrible. I miss you so much.” She starts rambling about how Becks isn’t very good for girl talk and dating advice. I am shocked to hear that she and Aaron broke up. She ended up not going to her grandma’s for spring break. She wanted to surprise Aaron, and well she ended up being the one surprised, when she caught him with a freshman. She says Becks punched Aaron and Aaron kicked his ass. That comes as no surprise.

  “Is Beckett okay?”

  “Yeah, he totally is milking having gotten a black eye and bloody nose defending my honor though. Where are you? I want to see you. My dad actually caved and bought me a car. It’s for my birthday and graduation,” she squeals.

  “Um, I am actually in Myrtle Beach with Kai. We are driving home today though.”

  Khloe is getting close to the edge of the water so I hang up with Penny promising she can come see me when I get back. She will flip her shit when she finds out I am living with the Coopers.

  I get Khloe and we go for a walk down the beach before heading back to the room. I hope that they have come to some sort of agreement with Clive by now.

  I tell Khloe we are getting ready to go home. She flops down in the sand pouting. “Khloe no go. Stay beach,” she says whining.

  “What if Katie gets you an ice cream?”

  She perks up and gives me her hand.

  I take her down the street from the hotel a little way, and get her a vanilla cone covered in sprinkles. I get a text from Kai asking where I am, I tell him Khloe, and I are getting ready to come through the lobby.

  Kai is pacing in the hotel lobby when I walk in with Khloe. Jake is sitting in a chair next to where Kai is burning holes in the tile with his feet.

  “Jake take Khloe to my mom so I can talk to Katie.”

  The way he is shuffling his feet and scratching the back of his neck anxiously is freaking me out. I wait until Jake and Khloe are out of earshot.

  “Hey, you okay?” I ask him.

  “Promise me you won’t get mad.”

  “I promise Kai. You are freaking me out.”

  He sits down in the chair Jake was just in and hold his arms open for me. I take a deep breath afraid he is about to breakup with me or something. I sit in his lap and get ready for whatever he is afraid to tell me.

  “Clive wants to represent Cooper’s Religion.” I start say something…but he puts his finger to my lips shushing me. “I tried to get him to take you on with us and he said no. I haven’t given him an answer I wanted to talk to you first.” He is still holding his finger over my mouth keeping me silent. “If I say yes, I will have to leave Monday morning for LA. He sent the video to his contacts and they want us. Clive and my mom got into specifics. If I take this chance, I could be away from you for months. I will have to finish school online or something.”

  I swat his finger away. “Kai, I love that you wanted me to go with you. I do, but this is it. This is your big chance, it may never come again and if you turn it down, I might kill you! I am so proud of you Kai.”

  “Okay, so I am really doing this,” he says.

  “Yeah, you are really doing this Kai Cooper.”

  “I just don’t want to hurt you Kat.”

  “Then don’t.” I nudge his shoulder and get up, pulling him with me. I remember his words, ‘something that will hurt us both.’ My chest aches but Kai deserves this, even if it means letting him go.

  Upstairs the band looks nervous when Kai and I walk in. They are waiting for Kai’s answer, on pins and needles, I am sure. He cracks a smile showing off his dimples and I can see the relief wash over their faces. I can understand that they would be afraid that I wouldn’t want Kai to leave me.

  I watch excitedly with Kelli as she snaps pictures of the guys signing Clive Owens as their agent. Khloe is on my hip twirling my hair in her fingers and Kai looks at the two of us with this weird expression on his face. I don’t know what to make of it, but it makes my stomach flip flop. He hangs his head rubbing the back of his neck.

  It’s Kai’s turn to sign. This is what he wanted isn’t it so why does he look so sad? Kelli and Clive go over more details about Kai since he isn’t eighteen yet. I tune out for most of it trying to figure out what changed in the past five minutes for Kai. They finally reach an understanding and we are all loading into our vehicles to make the drive home.

  We have to fuel up and grab a few drinks and snacks for the road. Kai is acting off; he even wants me to drive, saying something about not getting enough sleep the past few days. He is being so quiet it is freaking me out. He has barely spoken three sentences to me since he signed that contract.

  He reclines his seat back and closes his eyes. I turn the radio on low and let him sleep; maybe he really is just tired. My phone vibrates with a text message. I would never text and drive but I see it’s from Raven.

  Raven: I cheated on Kai. : (

  Me: That is shitty but you guys could have easily told me that. I’m driving right now so I will call you later.

  I don’t get it. Yes, Raven cheating on Kai is horrible and wrong, but why would they be afraid to tell me that? I would never do that to him though. Did he think that I would?

  When I pull off at a rest stop in Virginia to stretch my legs and use the bathroom, Kai finally wakes from his nap. He gets out of the car yawning and stretching. I toss him his keys without a word and go to the bathroom. I know I shouldn’t feel pissed off but I do. Does he think I am like Raven? I try to push the negative thoughts from my mind before I go back to the car.

  When I come from the bathroom he is leaning against the side of his car, hands shoved in his pockets looking mad at the world. But even ready to burn the world down with his dark eyes, Kai is the sexiest guy I have ever seen. I know deep down he is it for me. He sucks all the air from me. He consumes me so completely. I love him so much I feel suffocated by my feelings. I want to confront him about what Raven said, but I don’t want to spend what might be one my last weekends with Kai fighting.

  I hate seeing him look this way, and I can see he is back to his moody self. Pushing my shoulders back, I walk over to him, hook my fingers through his belt loops, and plant a kiss on his cheek. He presses his forehead to mine.

  “Sorry Kat. I know I am acting like a dick. I’m just overwhelmed so much is happening so fast. If I get a recording deal…I need you to promise not to leave me no matter what. I know being away from each other is going to be hard. I know it will be hard for you living in my house without me there.”

  “Kai, anything worth having is never easy. We both knew our being together would hurt in the end. I am not saying this is the end either.” His face is stoic, misunderstanding what I am trying to say. “You know I said if this is what being hurt by you feels like then I love pain. I meant what I said, you have my support.”

  “I told you K
at, you have the ability to break my heart. I’m just scared,” he admits hoarsely.

  I kiss his lips softly, grazing my teeth across the bottom one and he finally smiles. His dimples own me. I flick my tongue out and lick the one on his left cheek and he laughs. “Did you really just lick my dimple?”

  “Why did you like it?” I raise my brow at him suggestively.

  The band pulls up in the van before I can suggest ways I can keep him smiling at me. The guys want to know if we want to drive straight through to Kentucky, or if we want to get a room.

  Kai says a room would be tempting but he wants to get home. His mom has already stopped for the night with Khloe.

  Chapter 22

  Kai drives us the rest of the way home with Hunter following behind us. When we arrive home, we leave our bags in the car. Kent must be in bed and Kirk is out or working. I start for my room but Kai takes my hand and leads me to his room. “Tonight you are sleeping with me in my bed.”

  “What about your dad, the rules?” I stop at the top of the stairs.

  “He is already going to freak out when he finds out I am possibly dropping out of school to pursue a music career. He will be too pissed about that to care if we fuck in my bed. And before you get offended I didn’t mean you are just a fuck. Kat you are everything to me.”

  We are both exhausted by the time we get into bed. I actually fall asleep while Kai is kissing me…my body must be dead. That is the only explanation for starting to snore and drool on his chest.

  I am not sure how long I have been asleep when Kai is shaking me telling me, “Kat baby wake up.”

  Rubbing my eyes, I glance at the clock feeling disoriented. It’s only three a.m. “What,” I mumble trying to get awake.

  “You were having another nightmare. You kicked me and shouted no.” He has concern etched on his face.

  “I’m sorry for kicking you, but I have no clue what I was dreaming about. My mind is blank.” I snuggle into him, sleeping without him is going to be so hard next week.