"His hands were tied, , and he was committed to the guard of the servants.' The Marquis and my friend examined every apartment, in order to apprehend the rest of the gang; and I went down stairs to fend some servants to their assistance. A death-like silence reigned every where, and not one human being was to be seen. They even had left some candles upon the stairs, to effect their escape with more ease. At the bottom of the staircase I found a lady who had been left there in a swoon; and a little farther I discovered Don Antonio in a condition that was not much better. As soon as he heard a noise on the stairs, he covered his face with his handkerchief, and expected a happy deliverance, seized with a most painful agony."
"Prepare thyself for eternity, Don Antonio!" I exclaimed, on coming nearer; "for thou must die!"
"Spare me, O! spare me only this time!" he stammered, in a hollow and broken accent, which scarcely was intelligible.
"No mercy this time!" I replied laughing, in my natural accent. He knew me instantly, took the handkerchief from his face, and gazing at me with astonishment, said, highly rejoiced, "Dear Count, is it you? are you still alive? You have played me a fine trick."
"I now gave him a brief account of the whole affair, and recommended the fainting lady to his care. This animated him at once with new life, and he hastened to her with the alacrity of a buck to lend his assistance.
"I found the servants dispersed in different parts of the garden, and called to> them to assist their master. The rest of the company were returned to the garden-house, and there awaited the event in great anxiety. When I entered the door, the ladies set up a loud scream, because they did not at first know me, and mistook me for the ghost, I never beheld a more Angular scene than that. Every distinction of rank and sex was suspended for a while. The general panic having driven the whole company into a corner of the saloon, the coyest ladies sat upon the lap of their lovers; the most obstinate shrew clung round the neck of her patient husband, and the bitterest enemies and. rivals field one another enfolded in their arms in the most amicable manner.
"At length, they perceived their mistake, joyfully exclaiming, with one voice, "It is the Count! it is the Count!"
"It is impossible to describe the astonishment and the rapture with which I was received; not so much on my account, than because they saw themselves relieved from their apprehensions. I gave them a brief account of the affair; and when I had finished my report, the Chevalier joined us with the lady whom I had recommended to his care.
"Was the Chevalier also present?" one of the company exclaimed.
"Most certainly; he acted a principal part," I replied.
"This made Don Antonio suppose that I had not yet related the incident; he therefore took my assertion for a compliment paid to his courage, bowed, and began, with the greatest impudence, to relate the affair, with some additions and embellishments of his own invention. We listened patiently to his tale: however, the Marquis had mean time entered the saloon, and hearing his rodomontades, was struck with his barefaced impudence. He took his resolution on the spot, and winking me to follow him into the garden, communicated a plan to me, which was to make Don Antonio spend the night in a different manner than he seemed to expect.
"Our measures were soon taken; and we had only to give a hint to the Marchioness, in which I fortunately succeeded on my return into the saloon. She comprehended me so quickly, and so completely, that I concluded we only anticipated her design; thus much had Antonio exasperated the company by his barefaced fictions.
"Our return restored cheerfulness and merriment to our sociable circle. We sat gaily down to the desert, ridiculing one another for our fear, and the heroes of the drama earned the deserved applause. Nothing makes people more daring than a danger which has been happily overcome. There was not one amongst us who could not have defied all the infernal spirits; and but very few who did not loudly declaim against the existence of apparitions, as we had been fortunate enough to have discovered the human nature of one. It may easily be conceived who was the most clamorous Amongst us Don Antonio swore that he had laughed immoderately at our childish fear, that he had wanted to make game at me when I came down, and had been alarmed by nothing in the world than the situation of the lady.
"Our hostess now interrupted him, declaring, that her education, as well as a certain circumstance did not allow her to coincide with the opinion most of the company seemed to have adopted. Every one being curious to know that circumstance, she was pressed to relate it; upon which she protested that it was no secret, that, every night, at twelve o'clock, such a terrible noise was heard in the chapel of the castle that one expected it would be turned upside down. The Marquis raised a loud laugh, in which he was joined by the whole company, but particularly by Don Antonio, who, probably recollecting that midnight was already past, proposed to the company to go with him into the chapel. However, the Marchioness dissembled to pay no attention to what he said, and feigned to be offended by the ridicule which her information had been received with; declaring, that she would lay any wager, that none of the gentlemen who were pleased to laugh at her, would fetch a fan she had left in her pew in the afternoon.
"A general silence of some seconds was the consequence of this declaration. The Marquis, at length, thought proper to interrupt it, declaring, that he would cheerfully accept the wager, and. That he was firmly persuaded any one of the gentlemen present would render her.that service instantly with the greatest pleasure. We all confirmed his declaration, and begged the Marchioness to choose her hero. She now surveyed the whole circle, and Don Antonio always turned pale when she seemed to be going to fix upon him. Her looks were, to his greatest joy, several times fixed upon me; yet poor Antonio had, at length, the misfortune to be singled out by her. Pile Chevalier being bound by his word of honour, could not but accept the charge, and thank her for her good opinion of him. Having once more stolen a clandestine look at his watch, and convinced himself that it was near two o'clock, he took his sword, and left us with a very martial air. Yet his courage rage failed him already at the door. Having inadvertently unfastened the red cockade of his hat, it fell into his face. He was violently frightened; but when we began to laugh, and declared that it was a bad omen, he collected himself again, and looking at us with an indescribable contempt, on account of our supposed timidity, flung the cockade into a corner. We took it up, resolving to make a good use of it. He had no sooner quitted the saloon, than the Marquis communicated his plan and measures to the company, asking the gentlemen which of them would act a part in the farce he was going to play? Don Joachim F******, a man like a giant, and Don Romero L******, Avho was rather of a dwarfish stature, offered instantly to act the principal parts. Our plan now was briefly concerted, and the company rose to follow the Chevalier at a distance, and, if possible, to get the start of him."
"Never has a plan better succeeded. The sky was indeed overclouded; however, it was not so dark that we could not have discerned the objects at some distance; and we could clearly perceive that Don Antonio anxiously listened at every bush before he approached it, and that his steps grew flower and flower, the nearer he came to the wall of the church-yard. He brandished his sword to frighten away the spirits, and at length-arrived at the gate of the church-yard. He opened it with a great noise, and shut it again in the same violent manner. He, at the same time, began to sing and to whistle with all his might, struck against all the crosses that came in his way; but soon loft his way, and stumbled over one tomb-fl:one after the other, which enabled us to steal into the chapel from the opposite side about ten minutes before his arrival. Having missed the large gate, it was almost impossible for him to come to the pew of the Marchioness, because he would have been obliged to climb over all the other feats. There was only one lady in our company, who, however, had almost spoiled the whole sport. For when she saw the poor Chevalier climbing over the pews, and heard him groan in a most rueful accent, she broke out into an immoderate laughter, and endeavouring to stifle it, rendered it only more hideous. I h
ad placed myself near the organ; and being at a loss how to remedy the fault she had committed, accompanied her with a still more disharmonious passage on the instrument. This produced an effect which surpassed my most sanguine expectation, as but little wind was in the bellows, and I never was an adept in music.
"The poor Chevalier was almost petrified. He sat down in a pew, and awaited, in a kind of stupefaction, the things that were to come. I am sure he would have cared neither for the fan nor for his reputation, if he had had the least hope of getting safe out of the chapel. In this distress he looked anxiously about for an asylum and seeing something of-a white colour, which were the pillars of the pulpit, shine through the dusk, that prevailed around him, he climbed over the remaining pews to get at that supposed place of safety.
"We thought it our duty to light him on that expedition. A great electric machine, which the Marquis had ordered to be placed near the pulpit, served our purpose excellently, emitting from the conductor, at first, large sparks, and then a whole electric stream. We also lighted some candles of the large chandelier, which was suspended in the centre of the chapel, by means of a quantity of hemp, which was overspread with sulphur and pitch. However, we soon extinguished the candles again. Two servants, who were stationed at the church-yard, broke some panes of glass, which came with a great noise into the chapel: the doors were opened and shut again 5 the howling of cats was imitated; some of the company blew a strong current of air into his face by means of large bellows; the shrill sound of whistles re-echoed from every corner; and as the effect of the electrical machine grew stronger, whole streams of fire illuminated the chapel at intervals. We also had contrived to tie cords round his arms and legs which made the poor fellow believe that he was spell-bound. In short, the effect of our contrivance was so great, that the actors themselves could not help shuddering now and then.
"Mean time, a thick smoke arose near the altar, and Don Joachim F****** and Don Romero L****** stepped forth from its grisly womb, dressed like devils. The latter being of a very diminutive size, made the former appear a great deal more gigantic than he really was. The garments of either were streaked with phosphorus; and Don Joachim F****** carried a large lantern on his head, on which was written, "Sinner, prepare thyself, for thou must die!" Don Romero had the cockade which Don Antonio had flung on the ground, and now was stained with phosphorus, fixed to his head. Both of them extended two long fiery arms, the extremities of which were armed with claws, and howled some hollow accents. Antonio shut his eyes when he saw these two frightful figures, and did not open them for some minutes.
"However, the scene was soon changed to our mutual terror. The pulpit-door opened; a man, clad in a white robe, armed with a large cross, and carrying a lantern, stepped forth. He was soon followed by one more, clad in black.
"It was the pastor of the place, and the sexton, who had heard the uproar in the chapel. The Marquis having neglected to inform them of our nocturnal undertaking, they were come to see what was the matter. We soon knew them; however, the two disguised devils, who never had seen them before, imagined that they were apparitions from another world, their late fear seized them again, and they ran with all possible speed towards the door. They had, however, the misfortune to lose their way between the pews; Don Joachim's lantern dropped from his head, and fell in Don Romero's face; the one was frightened at the other; yet the latter had the presence of mind to take it up, to fallen it to one of his long artificial arms, which he took upon his shoulder, and thus happily gained the door. His giant-like assistant was close at his heels.
"But now a new misfortune happened; for when the priest began his exorcisms, both of them were tempted to look once more back; the little one, who led the way, turning suddenly round, knocked the lantern so. violently into the face of his tall companion, that the latter, imagining to have received a blow from a spirit, dropped half dead upon the ground. Don Romero was terribly frightened at that incident, but retained sufficient recollection to disencumber himself of every thing that could retard him on his flight, and to leap with the greatest agility over the graves. Yet the terror which pervaded his agitated mind did not leave him sufficient power to proceed far, and he seated himself, at length, half fainting, upon a tombstone, patiently awaiting the event.
"The Marquis now resolved to put an end to the whole scene; and making a signal to the servants, the machinery was concealed as well as possible; every one of the actors stole silently out of the chapel, and the whole company met at the great gate. The first thing we did was to restore Don Joachim to the use of his senses; Don Romero soon joined us 5 and having lighted our torches, we repaired again to the chapel.
"The priest was still preaching. He had taken the candle out of the lantern, and fixed it upon the pulpit, devoutly reading the exorcisms from his book. The Marquis now stepped before the pulpit, asking the priest what his strange behaviour meant, if he was in his senses, or had loft his understanding? Yet he remained some time longer in his error; and recollecting, at length, the voice of his master, was seized with amazement, and gave us a brief account of his transactions. The Marquis then begged him to go home, and we hastened to assist the poor Chevalier.
"We were struck with terror on perceiving not the least sign of life in him. His pulse ceased to beat, and the Marquis repented already the whole affair, thinking to have carried the jest rather too far, when the poor fellow, at once, opened his eyes to our greatest joy. Yet he still fancied to be in the power of spirits, and cried aloud for assistance. We scarcely could convince him that we were human beings, and come in quest of him. He-now was carried t(4the castle, and put to bed; having entirely loft the use of his speech. When we visited him the next morning, we found him quite restored, and he informed us that he had fallen asleep at chapel, and had a terrible dream."
Here the Count concluded his tale, which we had listened to with the greatest pleasure, though most of us had heard it already, and knew very well who the person was whom he had introduced under the name of Antonio. The Baron was covered with shame, and had loft the power of utterance, yet was prudent enough to-suppress his wrath.
What rendered the whole tale most entertaining, was the presence of Don Romero L******, a man of known courage, honesty, and of an excellent temper, who made no secret of his defects; and, at the close of the history, exclaimed, "By holy Peter! I was terribly frightened."
"Then you also was present on that occasion?" one of the company asked, laughing.
"Yes!
"Yes! yes!" he resumed; "and the Baron yonder, too, was not far off."
The laughter increased. However, the Baron thought it proper to bridle his passions, and not to reply a syllable, but to wait for a more favourable opportunity to revenge himself upon the Count, which he very nearly had found that very night.
We now conversed a little longer on different subjects, and then parted, as it seemed, entirely reconciled to one another. The Count saw Caroline to her carriage, and soon after went home with me, to all appearance completely happy.
He was used to lit every night half art hour with me on my sofa, and to converse on the occurrences of the day; but that time his mind was so much occupied with the pad events, that he forgot it, and went directly to his apartment, which occasioned one of the drollest scenes of my life.
To make myself perfectly understood, I must premise a brief description of the arrangement of our house. The ground floor was occupied by our landlady, a mantua-maker; the first floor was inhabited by the Count and myself; and my servants lodged in the second floor. Our landlady was a young, gay woman, who understood her profession excellently, and made the utmost of every little advantage. She not only let the remaining apartments of the ground floor to compassionate ladies, but her charitable disposition was so great, that she also admitted some young gentlemen by day and night to her own room. The Count and myself being very much displeased with her conduct, we had taken a resolution to quit her house the subsequent week.
The Baron had visited
us sometimes, and taken a liking to our little gay land-lady. He was not used to flip an opportunity of ingratiating himself with the ladies; yet our hostess did not think proper to be kind to the Baron; and some weeks elapsed before he could make any considerable advances in her favour, notwithstanding the great pains he took to make her favourably disposed to him. But learning, at length, that two floors in her house soon would be evacuated, he paid for that which the Count inhabited beforehand, and, in return, put himself in possession of the happiness he had been hunting after for some time. He paid, that very night, a visit to his future landlady; and was safely housed in her bed when the adventure occurred which I now am going to relate.
CHAPTER IV
The reader will recollected that the Count, on our return from the card-party, went immediately into his own apartment, instead of sitting half an hour with me as he was used to do. Having undressed himself, he observed that it was too early to go to bed: he, therefore, flung himself upon his sofa, to reflect on the occurrences of the day, and his affair with the Baron. His blood being in a violent fermentation, he tormented himself for some time with ruminating on the bad consequences the latter might produce. Yet the association of ideas at length brought him back again to Caroline; he wandered from one smiling reverie to the other, and at last fell asleep.
His situation being, however, not very easy, he awoke after he had slept about half an hour. In his drowsiness he imagined to have rested on my sofa as usual, took up his candle, and wished me a good night, supposing that I was gone to bed. He went softly down stairs, and thus came to the apartment where the mantua-maker was fallen fast asleep in the arras of her new paramour, and, notwithstanding his perceiving some change in the furniture, yet he still imagined to be in his own apartment, and was astonished at his heavy drowsiness, which, as he thought, represented every object in a different manner to his eyes. He now began to undress himself, opened the curtains, and placed the table with the candle near the bed, to extinguish it when he should have gone to bed. But unfortunately one of the Baron's boots laying on the floor, he put one foot of the table upon it, the candle dropped down, and fell burning into the face of the former. The Baron awoke with a terrible scream; and it my easily be conceived how much the Count was astonished to see his bed occupied by his mortal enemy. Being of a very irascible temper, his astonishment was turned into the most violent rage at that supposed impertinence. He uttered a dreadful oath, and ran to the corner in which he had placed his sword; but being not able to find it, he rung with such a vehemence for his servants, that the firing of the bell broke; for being at a loss to account for that incident, he was determined to chastise the Baron in an exemplary manner.
The Complete Northanger Horrid Novel Collection (9 Books of Gothic Romance and Horror) Page 140