by Laura Martin
Slowly she sat down at the dainty writing desk and took a piece of paper, holding the pen for over a minute before beginning to write.
Dear Caroline,
I am to be married. Truly I do not quite know how this happened, but I am sure Lord Hunter is a good man who will provide for me and my child. I’m still in shock after accepting his proposal, but wanted to pen you this short note so you will not worry about me.
After our wedding we will return to England, to his family home. When we are back on English soil I will write again and hopefully it will not be too long until we are reunited.
I miss you and your sage wisdom.
All my love,
Rosa
Chapter Fourteen
Thomas strode up and down outside the bedroom, trying not to look down at his hands. Two minutes ago they had been shaking and he kept telling himself it was just from nerves. It was natural for a man to be a little tense on his wedding day, natural for there to be a minute tremor in his fingers.
He glanced down again, holding his hands out in front of him and frowning as he scrutinised them. Nothing. Not even a hint of movement. With a sigh of relief Thomas allowed himself to sink down into one of the plush chairs and close his eyes for a second.
Soon the wedding would be over and they would be on their way to England. True, they would be thrown in close proximity during the voyage, but once he had delivered Rosa safely into his mother’s care he would be able to distance himself.
Again the memory of their kiss resurfaced, rekindling the desire that had been hiding just below the surface these past three days. He wanted Rosa, more than he’d ever wanted another woman in his entire life, and she was so tantalisingly close. Each day since she’d agreed to marry him he’d seen her hurt eyes as he had disappeared for hours on end, pretending there was much to prepare for the simple ceremony and their trip home. The truth was he couldn’t bear to be close to her—every moment he could see her, touch her, smell her, he risked giving in to his desire and ruining everything.
‘I will not desire her,’ he murmured to himself. That was not the point of their marriage. Although in a few hours they would be husband and wife he had never planned for it to be a conventional union. He needed someone who would be grateful for the protection and status he could give them, and not be too upset when he declined to visit her bedchamber. If only he hadn’t kissed Rosa. It hadn’t been planned or calculated, hadn’t been part of his ploy to get her to agree to marry him. He’d just seen her standing on the balcony, her lips pursed as she considered his proposal, and he’d just had to kiss her.
‘Never again,’ he promised himself, feeling the stab of disappointment as he denied his body the one thing it really desired.
He stood abruptly as the door to Rosa’s bedroom opened and she stepped out nervously. Immediately all his resolutions were forgotten as Thomas moved towards her and took her hand. He bent over it, kissing the soft skin gently, before raising his head and allowing his eyes to meet hers.
‘Are you sure?’ Rosa asked simply.
He almost laughed. She probably thought his absence the past few days was from doubting his decision to marry her now she had actually agreed. Little did she know he’d had to put physical distance between them, had to avoid any situation where he might accidentally touch her because one touch would be all it took to shatter his resolve.
‘I’m sure.’
They walked in silence down the spirals of the staircase and out into the street below. Thomas could feel Rosa’s hand clutching at his arm and for the first time he realised what a momentous day this was for her. All along he’d told himself she was gaining something from this arrangement, but he’d tried to deny all that she was giving up. Once they were married she would no longer be free to do as she desired, she would have a husband, someone else to consider, and whilst he was alive she would not be able to marry another man of her choosing. They would be tied together at least in name for the entirety of whatever future he had.
To make it worse Thomas felt uneasy about walking down the aisle with Rosa with the secret of the disease that ran in his family still unspoken between them. He knew Rosa had a right to know, soon she would be part of the Hunter family, too, but he kept telling himself she would never be directly affected. He would leave long before the disease had a chance to develop in him. Still, the guilt of his secret weighed him down as they crossed the cobbled street.
He led her down to the edge of one of the small canals, helping her down into one of the narrow gondolas awaiting them. He saw her eyes widen and a smile of delight appear on her face and part of him began to relax. This was Rosa he was marrying, not some stranger. He knew what she liked, what she disliked. Theirs might not be the most conventional of marriages, but they could rub along together well enough for the next few months until he set off on his travels again.
‘Are you nervous?’ he asked her as they settled back on the cushions lining the bench on the small vessel.
Rosa laughed. ‘Of course. I’m about to marry a man I barely know. A man my mother would approve of.’
‘I feel as though that’s a bad thing.’
‘It is. She would approve of your title, your family heritage. No doubt you have a large entry in Debrett’s.’
‘But would she approve of me?’ Thomas asked, moving in closer so he could drop his voice and whisper in Rosa’s ear. He was rewarded by one of her fabulous blushes and a stern, rather matronly look.
‘No, probably not,’ Rosa conceded. ‘You are far too impulsive and spend too little time overseeing your estate.’
Thomas settled back on the cushions and watched the city float past as they skimmed over the water. He felt strangely content sitting here next to Rosa, for a while he could forget he was about to deceive her, trap her in marriage without telling her his awful family secret, instead just enjoying sitting with her by his side in his favourite city in the world.
Too soon the gondola bobbed to a halt and Thomas had to lift Rosa on to dry land. She fidgeted nervously whilst he paid the gondoliere, looking about her as if she couldn’t decide whether to run whilst she still had the chance or cling to him until they’d said their vows.
He’d found a small chapel a few streets away from St Mark’s Square with a priest who had agreed to marry them. For a hefty fee this man had overlooked the fact Thomas wasn’t Catholic, their visitor status to the city and the need for an official ceremony quickly without all the usual rules and regulations. Thomas knew it would have been simpler to wait until they were back in England, but now he’d secured Rosa’s agreement to marry him he didn’t want to waste any time in making things official.
‘Thomas,’ Rosa said, her voice unusually quiet. ‘I’m Catholic.’
He grinned at her, at the worried expression on her face and the momentary panic in her eyes.
‘I know, my dear,’ he said, patting her on the hand reassuringly.
‘No, I mean I may not be a very good Catholic...’ she grimaced, one hand floating to her abdomen ‘...but I cannot get married outside the Catholic faith. The ceremony has to be Catholic for it to be valid.’
‘I know, my dear,’ Thomas repeated. ‘We’re in Italy. All the priests are Catholic. All the churches are Catholic. The only thing that isn’t Catholic is me and I’m assured that as long as I’m baptised in a Christian faith, which I am, we can still marry in the Catholic Church.’
‘Oh.’ Rosa considered his words for a moment. ‘You really have thought of everything, haven’t you?’
‘I aim to please.’
He led her through the narrow, winding streets, over a couple of stone bridges and to the Chapel of the Virgin Mother. As they neared the chapel Thomas sensed Rosa slow and her grip on his arm tightened a fraction.
‘Is something wrong?’
Rosa shook her h
ead, biting her lip at the same time.
‘Rosa, look at me. Look at me.’ He waited until she complied. ‘You can still back out,’ he said softly, hoping he wouldn’t regret the words. ‘We may not know each other well and it may seem like a rush to get married, but I promise you I will be a good husband to you. I will ensure you and your child want for nothing, that you are housed in comfort and cared for. I will never be cruel or demanding and you will be free to make your own decisions about your future.’
He watched her as she searched his eyes, as if looking for something more. He wondered if she wanted a declaration of love, but dismissed the idea immediately. Rosa was an intelligent and observant woman, she would know any such declaration was a lie. He was fond of her, he enjoyed her company and rather inconveniently he desired her in his bed, but he did not love her. He’d shut his heart off from the idea of love many years ago and even Rosa’s plentiful charms could not change his mind on that front.
Eventually she nodded, even managing a weak smile.
‘Shall we go in, my lady?’
Thomas pushed open the door to the small chapel and led Rosa down the narrow aisle. There were only five rows of pews, all of which were empty except the very front row.
‘Who are they?’ Rosa whispered as they walked towards the priest standing at the front of the church.
‘Our witnesses.’
She gave them a sidelong look and then leaned her head in to Thomas again.
‘But who are they?’
He shrugged. He’d paid the priest extra to provide the witnesses. They were probably devout churchgoers, or maybe the priest’s drinking friends. It didn’t matter to him, as long as the marriage was legal and witnessed by the correct number of people.
‘Signorina Rosa Rothwell?’ the priest asked.
Rosa nodded.
‘Normally I would conduct a short interview in the weeks before a wedding to ensure both parties were entering into the union of marriage for the correct reasons,’ the priest said quietly. ‘I understand there are some time pressures at work which mean the usual formalities need to be dispensed with, but I must ask: is there any reason you would like to postpone the ceremony?’
Thomas found he was holding his breath as he waited for Rosa’s response. Eventually she gave a small shake of her head and the priest smiled broadly at them both. Clapping his hands together, he arranged Thomas and Rosa in front of him and addressed the gathered witnesses.
Thirty seconds in to the ceremony and Thomas found himself wondering if the priest was drunk. A minute in he was quite certain of it and was contemplating whether there was a touch of madness about the elderly priest as well.
Rosa sent Thomas a worried glance and he responded with his most reassuring smile. It didn’t matter if the old man was drunk or mad, he was an ordained priest, licensed to marry them and he seemed to be saying all the right words.
‘Miss Rothwell, Lord Hunter, have you come here freely and without impediment to give yourselves to each other in marriage?’
As Rosa said yes alongside him Thomas felt a swell of triumph. There were more questions to come, and the vows themselves, but he’d had a horrible feeling she might remember all of her reservations about marrying him and ask to postpone. Now she was committed. Only a few more minutes and they would be husband and wife.
‘Will you honour each other as husband and wife for the rest of your lives?’
‘Yes.’
‘Will you accept children lovingly from God and raise them according to the law of Christ and his Church?’
All eyes in the chapel drifted to Rosa’s bump as hurriedly he and Rosa agreed.
‘Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands and declare your consent before God and the Church.’
‘I, Thomas William Hunter, take you, Rosa Rothwell, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.’
He looked up at Rosa as he spoke, saw the nervousness and tentative hope in her eyes. She’d suffered so much, lost so much in such a short space of time. He knew she was trying to curb her hopes, to rein in any dreams of a normal life, but still her natural optimism and excitement were breaking through.
As she met his gaze he felt something stick in his throat. He knew he shouldn’t be deceiving her like this, knew he did actually care for Rosa and this wasn’t the way to treat someone that you cared about, but also knew there was no going back now. He’d deceived her, kept the illness that ran in his family from her, and consigned her to sharing the dreadful uncertainty of never knowing if or when the disease might strike.
‘I, Rosa Rothwell, take you, Thomas William Hunter, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.’
As she spoke a shiver ran down Thomas’s spine and he felt as though his whole world had just altered. Quickly he dismissed the notion. Rosa was nearly his wife in name, but soon he would have escorted her safely to the family home and he would be back to travelling the world on his own. In reality, hardly anything had changed.
‘What God has joined, no man must divide,’ the priest declared, grasping their joined hands and raising them up for the assembled witnesses to see.
A prayer followed, something long and rambling and spoken in Italian that even Thomas could barely understand, before they exchanged rings. This part of the ceremony passed in a blur for Thomas, he could barely remember a word that had been spoken after the priest’s declaration.
What God has joined, no man must divide.
It was so final, so complete. He had a wife. The one thing he had always vowed not to have. Someone else who relied on him, someone else to be hurt by whatever cruelties the future had in store for him.
Quickly Thomas shook his head. This was just the shock talking. Rosa knew this wasn’t going to be a conventional marriage, it wasn’t as though it was a love match. She would be safe and cared for, along with her child, keeping his mother company and keeping an eye on the estate. He would be her husband by law, but in reality they would lead very separate lives. If he did become ill and die Rosa’s life would hardly change.
As they exchanged rings he caught Rosa smiling at him. Her earlier nervousness had disappeared and she’d even warmed to the exuberant and gesticulating priest, the suppressed laughter visible in her eyes as she watched the official enthusiastically instruct Thomas how to place the ring on her finger.
He rallied. This was what he’d wanted. Rosa was his wife, they were legally bound together and he could ensure she was protected in the future.
‘Now the bride and groom often kiss,’ the priest whispered, leaning forward. ‘I’m sure you two young lovebirds know what to do.’
He treated them to a salacious wink that made Thomas question how rigid the vows of celibacy were being followed in this little corner of Venice.
Rosa turned to him and Thomas knew he would have to kiss her. Part of him rejoiced, shouted and screamed with happiness that one more time it was acceptable to pull her in close to him and cover her lips with his own. The other part of him knew it would make the notion of never touching, never kissing, never even entertaining a single night of intimacy with Rosa even more difficult.
Slowly they came together, stepping closer as if it were part of a much practised and choreographed dance. Thomas’s hands raised instinctively to brush away the hair from her eyes, to tilt her face up so she was gazing up at him, waiting for the moment they came together. Savouring every second, he dipped his head and brushed his lips against hers, kissing her gently at first, knowing all the things he wanted to do to her were inappropriate in this religious place, but not being able to stop his imagination anyway.
As he felt Rosa
respond to him, rising up on her toes to get closer to him, one delicate hand grasping the back of his neck as though she were clinging on for her life, he groaned and deepened the kiss, almost devouring her before pulling away. Now was not the time or the place, but that didn’t make it any easier to step away from his new wife, especially knowing this would be the last time they kissed.
Quickly they signed the register, thanked the witnesses, shook hands with the jubilant priest and made their escape back down the aisle of the chapel.
‘Lady Hunter,’ Thomas said, as they stepped out into the brilliant sunshine from the dark chapel, ‘would you care to accompany me on a little trip?’
Rosa laughed. ‘Where are you taking me now, Husband?’ She said the last word tentatively, as if she couldn’t quite believe it was true.
‘Well, we leave for England tomorrow, so I thought we should explore a little more of Venice on our last day.’
‘That sounds wonderful.’ She paused. ‘Although I’d be quite happy returning to our rooms for the rest of the afternoon.’
She blushed a wonderful deep shade of pink as she made the suggestion and Thomas was left in no doubt as to her true meaning. He felt a surge of desire, his body responding to his new wife’s suggestion of retiring to bed together until the time they had to board the ship for England. He wanted nothing more than to hurry her back to his bedroom, lock the doors and spend twelve hours exploring every inch of her body.
Thomas clenched his fist, digging his nails into the palm of his hand. He was better at controlling himself than this. Better at doing what was right, not what he wanted. He hadn’t spent all those years remaining celibate to cave just when all the aspects of his life were falling into place.
Chapter Fifteen
Rosa felt her heart begin to pound in her chest as they walked up the sweeping staircase hand in hand. The afternoon had been pleasant—a trip to the island of Murano in the Venice lagoon to watch the traditional glassblowers go about their work and then an hour spent being gently propelled along the canals and waterways—but the entire excursion had been overshadowed by her nerves about this evening.