“Dr. Chambers?” she said in a soft voice.
“Yes?”
“I wanted to give you something.” Michelle held out an envelope toward him.
Rick reached for it. Probably another student crush, he thought to himself as he smiled at her. “Shall I open it now?”
“No. Just open it when you get home.”
Yep. Another girl falling for him. “Okay. I’ll do that.” He winked at her.
Michelle blushed and walked out the door.
Rick sipped his wine, soft jazz music filling his living room. He flipped open his attaché case and was about to look over the students’ exams when he spotted the envelope from Michelle. He smiled and shook his head. Too bad the college had a policy against teachers dating students.
He walked over to his favorite chair, set the wine glass on the end table, and peeled open the flap. Unfolding the letter within, he began to read.
Dear Dr. Chambers,
I’m writing you this letter because you remind me of my father, and I wanted to share with you what happened to him and how it changed my beliefs...
This was not at all what he had expected. He reminded her of her father? What did that mean?
Like you, my dad was always a really confident man – a self-sufficient guy who had no need of God or religion. He was a very successful businessman and was proud of all that he had accomplished.
Rick nodded to himself, took another sip of wine and continued reading. As the story unfolded, he learned that Michelle’s dad had been involved in some kind of embezzlement charges and had ended up attempting suicide. He rubbed his face with both hands and shook his head. Poor girl. She’s really been through it. Guess her dad wasn’t as strong as he thought he was.
As he read on, Michelle’s intimate details about her time in the hospital began to touch a tender spot in his heart. Her description of the little chapel and the time she spent praying and seeking answers brought his own mother to mind. He recalled the final days of her life as she battled the cancer that had ravaged her body. Yet she never gave up hope, even as her organs began failing, one after the other.
“I know God’s with me, Rick. I’m not afraid,” she’d said as she cradled her well-worn Bible in her arms. He’d tried to understand her faith and had even prayed a prayer of desperation on her behalf, but of course there was no answer. She died still clutching that old book.
As Michelle concluded her letter with a description of the peace God had given her in that chapel and the strength He continued to give her in other areas of her life, Rick suddenly felt a sense of envy coupled with despair. Although he knew logically that God did not exist, he wished he could have the faith and peace his mom and this student had found.
Michelle’s postscript invited him to join her and her husband at a Bible study held in Sandy Cove by a friend of theirs. A tug on his heart encouraged him to go. Just to let Michelle know that he appreciated her letter. He carefully folded the paper and tucked it back into the envelope. “I’ll think about it, Michelle,” he murmured as he walked into the kitchen to refill his glass.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
The next four months were busy for Michelle. She enrolled in the university and was taking a full course load. In addition, she made trips to Seal Beach every six to eight weeks to see her parents and brother. Her father was always so happy to see her, and she knew it helped her mom to have another pair of hands around.
They had received word from Clark Christianson that all charges against John had been dropped, and Michelle could see a new peace permeating her father’s countenance. Mather’s even offered his job back whenever he was able to return, but it seemed doubtful he’d ever have the stamina and drive to return. Just being able to hug her dad meant so much to Michelle, and the mental images from the hospital were gradually being replaced by new memories of him sitting up, standing, and even taking a few steps.
Although the attempt for a baby seemed to have shifted to a back burner in their lives, Michelle still grieved every month when she discovered she still had not conceived. By the end of the spring term, her focus shifted.
The next two weeks were consumed with preparations for Kristin’s wedding. Michelle flew down one week early, as planned, and spent time helping Kristin with the final details regarding flowers, photos, and her last minute shopping for her honeymoon.
Sheila threw a shower the second day Michelle was home, so she had a chance to see old friends and many of Kristin’s family members.
Most of the time, she tried not thinking about her desire for a baby. Each night she would crawl into her old childhood bed, pick up her Bible, and dig into the scriptures, underlining or highlighting every verse of encouragement she could find. She fell asleep clutching her teddy bear and clinging to God’s promises.
“I can’t believe I’m actually getting married tomorrow,” Kristin said to Michelle as they hugged after the rehearsal dinner.
“Everything’s going to be so beautiful,” she said with a smile. “The rehearsal went really well.”
“I wish Steve could have been here,” Kristin said. “It must be hard to have him working such long hours.”
“I’m getting used to it,” she replied, hoping Kristin did not detect any animosity in her voice. She didn’t want to burden her on the night before the wedding.
“Michelle,” Kristin said, “I want to ask you something.”
“What?”
“Would you stay with me tonight? I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep a wink.”
Laughing, she hugged her again. “I’d be happy to. We can have a little slumber party.”
Mark walked over and asked, “What are you two talking about over here?”
The girls both looked at each other and laughed. “What? Did I say something funny?”
“We’re planning a slumber party,” Kristin said coyly.
“A slumber party?” His eyebrows shot up questioningly.
“I’m going to keep an eye on your bride tonight,” Michelle explained.
“Oh. Okay. Just make sure she makes it to the church on time.” He gave Kristin a squeeze and kissed her on the forehead. “See you tomorrow.”
“I’ll be there.”
Three hours, one movie, and two bowls of popcorn later, Michelle and the bride-to-be were stretched out on parallel sofas in the living room sharing memories from the past and dreams for the future.
“I hope Mark and I have as great a marriage as you and Steve,” Kristin said with a smile.
Michelle did not know what to say. She just nodded her head and made some comment about being certain Kristin and Mark would be happy.
“Is there something wrong, `Shell? I mean, I know you guys have been going through a lot with everything with your dad and then not being able to get pregnant.”
“Yeah. But let’s not talk about us. This is your special time. Don’t let our stuff be a burden to you.”
“Don’t be silly. I care about you and Steve. You could never be a burden to me. I’ll be praying for you guys about the baby thing especially.”
Michelle smiled, but she felt heaviness deep inside. “Thanks, Kristin,” she said. “God has been really helping me. It’s like He is going through this with me.” She thought back to her time at the beach and how Jesus seemed to meet with her there and comfort and encourage her.
“He is going through it with you. With both of you.” Kristin reached over and squeezed Michelle’s hand.
A sigh escaped her lips like a candle being extinguished. “I don’t know if Steve feels that way. We haven’t talked much lately. We’ve been going to church with Ben and Kelly at this little chapel on Main Street, but I’m hoping we’ll get more involved when Ben starts his own church meetings next month.”
“It’ll be great for you guys to be part of that new church from the very beginning. Mark is so excited for Ben. He thinks Sandy Cove will be the perfect location.” Kristin said enthusiastically.
She nodded and tried
to refocus her thoughts from Steve to the new church. “Do you think you guys might actually consider moving up there like you said?” she asked hopefully.
“We’ve talked about it, but nothing’s definite yet. After the honeymoon, we’re going to spend some time considering all the options.”
They talked a little longer about Kristin and Mark’s plans. Then Kristin asked Michelle if she’d liked to pray with her.
They held hands and prayed for each other, for Kristin’s wedding and her new life with Mark, and for Michelle’s marriage and her desire for a baby.
“I actually think I could fall asleep now,” Kristin said. “Me, too,” she replied with a new countenance of peace.
The wedding was breathtakingly beautiful. A small chapel was the perfect size for the intimate group of guests attending. Red roses, ferns, and baby’s breath accentuated the gracefully draped tulle at the end of each pew. Kristin was aglow in her flowing gown and fingertip veil.
As they exchanged vows, Michelle flashed back to her own wedding. She glanced at Steve sitting with her mom and Tim. She caught his eye and smiled. He nodded his head slightly and smiled back.
After the ceremony, Steve joined Michelle in the back of the chapel and escorted her to the reception. When the festivities were over, they headed to Michelle’s parents’ home for the night. Steve had a busy schedule at the firm the next week, so they flew back to Sandy Cove in the morning.
Michelle wanted to talk to Steve again about going back to see Dr. Foster for a follow-up appointment, but his mind was occupied with work. He brought a brief from the office with him, and his attention was focused on the document rather than on her.
Reaching for the travel Bible in her purse, she found the book of Psalms and spent the rest of the flight reading and marking verses.
A week later, Michelle flipped the kitchen calendar to June. Another month had passed. Her classes were out for summer, and she was restless and depressed. Finally Steve agreed to see Dr. Foster again. Michelle made the appointment for the following week.
Kelly’s baby came two days later. He was the most adorable little boy Michelle had ever seen. His bright blue eyes sparkled in his chubby cheeks and the little wisp of blond hair on his head formed a tiny curl. “He’s so precious, Kelly,” Michelle said as she peered at the blue cocoon in Kelly’s arms. Steve stood beside her, his arm draped over her shoulder.
“Want to hold him?” Kelly asked, looking at Michelle.
“I’d love to.” She held out her arms as Kelly leaned from the hospital bed and placed the newborn babe in the cradle of her embrace. Little Luke’s mouth opened in a tiny circle as he yawned. Michelle sighed, a smile lighting up her face. “He’s perfect, Kelly. Absolutely perfect.”
Steve looked over his wife’s shoulder. “He looks just like Ben. Same blue eyes.”
“Yep. Ben’s strutting around here like a peacock.” Kelly looked tired but full of joy. “He’ll be back any second. He just went down to buy me a candy bar. I’m sure he’ll want to see you guys.”
A little quivering cry escaped from Luke. “Here. You’d better take him,” Michelle said, placing the baby in his mother’s arms.
“Might be hungry,” Kelly said, starting to shift in the bed to nurse him.
Steve took that as his cue to step outside. “I’ll go find Ben.”
As Michelle watched Kelly feeding her baby, she thought about their upcoming appointment with Dr. Foster. Please help us find out what the problem is, God.
Dr. Foster welcomed Michelle and Steve into her office and glanced over their file before beginning.
“So you have been using the Clomid for nine months and following the recommended schedule and have not conceived?”
Michelle nodded nervously as she twisted a piece of her hair.
“Let’s pursue a battery of simple tests, and we’ll see what we can find out. First, I want to have a sperm count on Steve and check for motility. Then we will follow that with some blood work on you, Michelle, just to ensure you really are ovulating. That will help us evaluate the effectiveness of the Clomid in your treatment.”
“Okay,” Michelle replied. Steve leaned forward in his chair and nodded.
“I’ll send the nurse in to explain the procedure for Steve’s test. We should have the results within a day or two. Then I’ll call you and we can set up the blood work. I’ll give you the lab order today before you leave. Keep taking the Clomid for this month and we’ll test you mid-cycle to see what is happening with your ovaries.” Dr. Foster stood up, extended her hand and added, “It’s been nice meeting you, Mr. Baron.”
“Likewise,” Steve replied as he rose and shook her hand.
The doctor turned to Michelle. “Don’t get discouraged. I know you’re eager and it’s hard to wait.”
Michelle forced a smile in reply.
“If it’s any consolation to you, it’s very rare for me to sit across my desk from a patient and tell her she will be unable to conceive a child. I’m confident we can work together to accomplish your goal of starting a family.”
“Thanks, Dr. Foster. We’ll be eager to hear from you later this week.”
After she’d left the room, Steve glanced over at Michelle. “Well, I guess you’re off the hook for the first test.”
“Yeah, but all the tests after that will be mine.” She smiled again and squeezed his hand.
Within minutes the nurse came in and explained the information to Steve. He seemed embarrassed to be part of this testing process, but Michelle was proud of the way he willingly agreed to pursue it.
That night they went out to dinner at the Cliffhanger. They arrived at sunset and were able to get a window seat to watch the sky fade from blue to warm shades of pink and orange to purple before darkness swallowed the horizon. Most of their conversation revolved around small talk about Steve’s work and Kristin’s wedding.
This is really strange, Michelle thought. It’s like we’re on a first date or something. I hope we get this testing over with quickly so that we can get on with our lives.
Steve was staring out the window. He gave voice to her thoughts. “Let’s just hope this testing doesn’t take too long. I really hate medical stuff like this.”
Michelle sighed and smiled. “Want to go to a movie tonight?” she asked, hoping the change of subject would lighten the air.
“If we can catch an early one. I’ve got a meeting at 8:15 tomorrow morning.”
They decided to stop by the local triplex theater to see what was playing.
Dr. Foster’s receptionist called the following Tuesday, and Michelle answered the phone. After identifying herself, the nurse said, “Dr. Foster would like to meet with you and Steve again this Friday afternoon.”
“Already?”
“She wants to go over the first test results with you, and she asked me to schedule both of you to come in together.”
“Is there something wrong?”
“I really don’t know. She just asked me to call and set up an appointment.”
Michelle quickly looked through Steve’s home copy of his day-planner. “It looks like anytime after 4:00 would work for my husband.”
“Let’s make it 4:15. Dr. Foster has her last appointment at 5:00 that afternoon.”
“Okay. 4:15. Got it.”
“See you Friday.”
After Michelle hung up the phone, she got a sinking feeling in her stomach. Why would the doctor want to meet with them so quickly? Michelle’s stomach tightened into a knot. Was there something wrong with Steve? She’d never thought of that possibility. How would he handle it if the problem were his?
I need to talk to someone before I call Steve. She thought about Monica but quickly dismissed that idea. She needed someone who could really reassure her. Someone like her grandfather. But she couldn’t call her grandfather with something this personal about her marriage. She felt too awkward and embarrassed.
Kristin. I’ll call her.
She punched in the number,
and Kristin answered on the second ring. “Hi Kris, it’s me.”
“`Shell — I was just thinking about you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’m at my parents’ house sorting through stuff in my closet and packing boxes of old memorabilia to take over to our apartment. I found the scrapbook we made in 5th grade. Remember? The one with the ladybugs on the cover?”
Michelle laughed. “I remember. I can’t believe you still have that old thing.”
“I know. I was really surprised when I found it here. So anyway, what’s up with you?”
“Well, actually I need to talk to you about something really personal.” Her voice shook slightly as she spoke.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. But I’m a little worried about something.”
“What is it?” Kristin sounded genuinely concerned.
Michelle explained to her about the doctor appointment earlier in the week and about her husband’s test.
“Yeah, I’ve heard it’s pretty common to test the guy first.”
“Really? I hadn’t even thought about that when we went in for the appointment,” she admitted.
“Makes sense to rule it out first, I guess. So anyway, tell me what’s happening?”
She took a deep breath. “The nurse just called and said that Dr. Foster wants to meet with me and Steve on Friday.”
“So soon?”
“Actually, I knew she’d get the results back quickly. She told us it would only take a day or two and she’d call and set up my blood work after that.”
“So now she wants to see you both first.”
“Yeah.” She could feel her eyes starting to tear up. “There must be something wrong, Kristin, or she wouldn’t be asking to see us like that.”
“You sound really worried.”
Through the Tears (Sandy Cove Series Book 2) Page 21