Had he blocked out those memories—or simply forgotten all the times that he’d sat at one of the tables covered with a red-and-white-checked cloth, doing his homework while his mom was busy in the kitchen?
But now, as the hurt in her tone struck home, he remembered all that and so much more, such as the time that she’d used the condiment shakers she was refilling to illustrate the answer to a simple math problem—or demonstrated with a pizza how many pieces of an eight-slice pie would be left if five were eaten.
And now that he really stopped to think about it, he was ashamed to discover that he’d never understood nor appreciated how many tasks she’d been juggling—nor given her near enough credit for all that she’d accomplished.
“You know how much work goes into running a kitchen,” she said. “You’ve done everything from creating a recipe to selecting the best ingredients, from chopping and grilling to plating and serving. But you’ve never had to worry about paying the bills or wonder which vendor might be willing to cut you a little slack if you can’t pay the full amount in any given month, because nothing is more important to you than keeping a roof over the heads of your children and food on their table.”
“You’re right,” Kyle said now. “And I’m sorry I never considered how much responsibility you carried as a business owner and single mom.”
“I don’t want you to be sorry,” Jo said gently. “I just want a better life for you. A more balanced life.”
“What if I’m happy with my life the way it is?”
“You can be happy and still want more,” she told him. “And you deserve more.”
He didn’t ask her to define “more,” because he knew she was thinking that he should want to get married and have a family. But after Marty walked out on his family, Kyle had decided that a wife and kids weren’t ever going to be a part of his plan. He wasn’t going to take the chance that he might one day follow his father’s footsteps out the door.
* * *
Erin was exhausted.
Physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.
She was tired when she went to bed and tired when she woke up, but sleeping in was a luxury she didn’t have time for these days.
Sunfish Bay Family Fishing Resort was a family business—it said so right in the name—and the property on the south side of Silver Lake had been in the Napper family for five generations. What was now a resort had originally been nothing more than a three-story lodge and a rickety dock, but over the years, the property had been developed so that there were now a dozen lakefront cabins, a marina and a small general store where guests could buy everything from live bait to travel mugs sporting the Sunfish Bay logo.
Brian Napper was the heart of Sunfish Bay. He’d grown up at the resort, learning everything he needed to know from his father and grandfather. He was part handyman, part mechanic and one hundred percent fisherman. But now he was out of commission, which meant that everyone else had to pick up the slack. Not an easy task in the middle of summer—the height of their busy season.
So Erin stumbled into the kitchen to fill her mug with desperately needed coffee, aware that sleep would have to wait—probably until September.
“There’s my favorite girl.”
“Ohmygod.” She set down her coffee untouched and hurried across the kitchen to hug her brother-in-law. “I didn’t know you guys were coming this weekend. When did you get in?”
“It was a last-minute decision,” Roger said, folding her in his embrace. “And late last night.”
“It’s so good to see you,” she said sincerely.
Though she’d often felt like a fish out of water around her family, she’d never felt that way with her brother’s partner. From their very first meeting, Erin had known that Roger was perfect for Owen—and that he would be a wonderful friend and ally to her.
“Family making you crazy?” he guessed.
“Always.” She reached into the cupboard for another mug, then filled it full of coffee for him.
“And yet you’re here,” he noted.
She shrugged. “How could I be anywhere else?”
He nodded his understanding.
“Is Owen still sleeping?”
“Are you kidding? He and Ian were out on the water with your dad before six.”
She managed a smile. “Dad will be in his glory.”
“He promised there would be fish for dinner,” Roger said.
“It’s Friday,” she pointed out. “We always have fish on Friday.”
“I’m already looking forward to it.” He sipped his coffee, then asked cautiously, “You’re not cooking, are you?”
She narrowed her gaze. “For your information, I’m not quite as inept in the kitchen as everyone wants to believe. In fact, Dad loved the chicken parm that I made last week.
“But no, I’m not cooking. I get to strap on an apron and serve the guests, because Mom thinks that’s all I’m good at.”
“You are good with customers,” he said, his tone placating. “That’s probably why you earn the big tips at that fancy restaurant in Haven.”
“Well, tomorrow I get to be good at sweeping floors and scrubbing toilets.”
“Full turnover this week?”
She nodded. “And we’re booked solid through to Labor Day, then most weekends up to Thanksgiving.”
“That might explain the bags under your eyes that wouldn’t fit in the overhead bin on a 747.”
“It’s early,” she reminded him. “I haven’t had a chance to put any makeup on.”
“You don’t need makeup—you need about twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep.”
“Probably,” she agreed.
“And a hearty meal,” he decided. “How much weight have you lost since you’ve been home?”
“A few pounds,” she guessed. She hadn’t actually stepped on a scale in recent weeks, but there was no denying that her clothes were fitting a little looser than usual. “That’s what happens when you do manual labor rather than sit on your butt all day.”
“Are you sure that’s all it is?” he pressed.
“Well, I can’t deny that I’m worried about Dad, too.” So much so that she didn’t feel much like eating half the time, and food didn’t sit easily on her tummy when she did.
“We’re all worried about Dad,” Roger said.
“I didn’t figure you guys made the trip from Portland because Owen suddenly had the urge to go fishing.”
“It’s hard for him, being so far away with all this going on,” Roger confided. “Work keeps him busy during the day, and I do the best I can to keep his mind off things at night.”
Erin held up a hand. “I don’t need those details.”
Her brother-in-law grinned. “I wasn’t offering to share.” Then his expression turned serious. “He’s worried that there might not be many weekends left when your dad will be able to go out on the boat.”
She sighed. “The chemo is taking its toll on him.”
“I’ve heard that the treatment is sometimes worse than the disease.”
“It certainly seems that way. And the worst part? His recent test results indicate that the treatments aren’t having any positive effect.
“No,” she decided. “The worst part is that he keeps telling me to go back to Haven, to live my own life. But how can I live my life when he might be...” She shook her head, unable to finish the thought, to say the words. “Why doesn’t he understand that I need to be here, with him?”
“Because he knows how hard you’ve worked to establish your career,” Roger pointed out. “And he wants to be sure you’re not giving it up now to take care of him.”
“I’m not giving it up,” she promised.
“But are you managing to keep up with your clients?”
“You saw these,” she said, pointing to the dark circles
under her eyes. “Late at night, after everyone else is settled down to sleep, I open up my laptop and get started.”
“You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends,” her brother-in-law warned.
“You sound just like Lucy,” she said.
“So you’re keeping in touch with your friends from Haven?”
She nodded. “I FaceTime with her at least once a week, Quinn a little less frequently than that, and Kyle and I exchange a lot of text messages.”
“Kyle?” His brows lifted. “Did you have a hookup you didn’t tell me about?”
“No,” she denied.
Lied.
Roger’s next words confirmed that the heat she felt burning her cheeks had revealed the untruth to her all-too-perceptive brother-in-law.
“Did, too,” he said, grinning.
“Kyle is Lucy’s brother,” she told him. “A friend. And kind of my boss.”
All completely truthful statements, if not the whole truth.
“Oooh...the hunky chef at The Home Station,” Roger realized.
“How do you know he’s hunky?”
“We’re not just related by marriage, I follow you on Instagram,” he reminded her. “And you’ve posted pictures from the restaurant.”
“Anyway,” she said, attempting to shift the focus of the conversation. “In answer to your question, yes, I’m keeping in touch with my friends from Haven.”
“Uh-uh,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re not going to distract me so easily.”
“I’m not trying to distract you.”
He held up two fingers. “That’s two lies in less than two minutes,” he said, sounding not just disapproving but hurt. “And I didn’t think you ever lied to me.”
“I don’t... Usually.”
“So why are you lying to me now?” Roger wondered aloud.
“Because I don’t know what to say,” she admitted. “Or even how I feel.”
“Which tells me that it was more than a hookup,” he realized.
“Except that it wasn’t,” Erin said. “It was just one night.”
One incredible, amazing and unforgettable night.
Roger frowned. “Was that your choice or his?”
“Neither, really. Although, if we’d had a chance to talk about it, I’m sure we both would have agreed that it couldn’t happen again.”
“What do you mean—if you’d had a chance to talk about it?”
“The morning after the night we spent together was when Mom called to tell me about Dad’s diagnosis.”
“Oh, Erin. I’m so sorry,” Roger said.
“The timing wasn’t great,” she acknowledged.
“But still, you didn’t have to drop everything and leave town without talking to the guy about your relationship.” He swallowed another mouthful of coffee, his expression contemplative. “Unless you jumped at the opportunity to bail because, as scared as you are for your dad, you’re even more scared to have an honest-to-God real relationship.”
Erin frowned. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it?” he challenged. “I’ve been part of this family long enough to have heard the story your grandmother—rest her soul—used to tell at every holiday gathering, about how she had to move back in here after you were born because your mom almost died giving birth to you. According to Grandma Napper, she had to do everything because Bonnie couldn’t bear to even hold you for two minutes while her mother-in-law mixed up formula for your bottle.”
“Grandma Napper always did like to make everything about her,” Erin said lightly.
“And she never acknowledged that your mom likely had a severe case of postpartum depression.”
“Is there a point to this?”
“The point is that you no doubt heard that story more times than I did over the years, and I worry that you believe it.”
“The story’s not untrue,” she pointed out.
“Just because your mom didn’t feed you and change your diapers when you were a baby doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” he pressed.
“In my head, I know,” she clarified. “But my heart is admittedly a little screwed up.”
“So unscrew it,” he advised.
“You make it sound so easy.”
“Take it from the guy who was engaged to a woman before I met your brother—it’s not easy, but it’s necessary.”
“I’m working on it,” she said.
“A task made harder by the fact that you’re stuck back here in Silver Hook.”
“Only until Dad gets better,” she said, desperately needing to believe that he would.
Chapter Seven
Seven weeks after Kyle had watched Erin drive away, she’d yet to give any indication of when she might be coming back to Haven, but her decision to sublet her apartment warned him that it wasn’t going to be anytime soon. During that time, they’d remained in fairly regular contact via text messages and occasional phone calls, though he’d twice forgotten about the two-hour time difference between Nevada and Arkansas when he’d called her after closing up the restaurant, wanting to hear her voice just because he’d been thinking about her. Even when he’d woken her up, she’d sounded happy to talk to him—and grateful to talk to about something other than her dad’s prognosis and treatment.
Today, he called as he was walking to the restaurant to start the dinner prep.
“I caught you in the middle of something,” he realized, when she answered with a breathless hello.
“Cleaning the bathroom,” she said.
“Do you want to call me when you’re done?”
“No,” she said. “I could use a break now. I’ve been at it for four hours already.”
“How dirty is this bathroom?”
She chuckled softly, though her laughter sounded strained. “It’s not one bathroom. I’m on cabin cleaning duty today.”
“I thought your dad had a treatment today.”
“He does. My aunt Mary—my dad’s sister—came for a visit, to see how he was doing. And since she offered to take him to his treatment, I volunteered to help Anna with the cleaning. But her pregnancy has made her hypersensitive to certain smells, and even though we use all-natural cleaning products, she had to go for a walk because she was feeling nauseated.”
Convenient, Kyle thought, though he didn’t dare say so to Erin.
“Lucky for her that you’re there to pick up the slack,” he said instead.
“Yeah.” She sighed. “And there’s been a lot of slack. Anytime I ask her to do something, she comes up with some kind of excuse why she can’t do it, usually related to her pregnancy. And I feel horrible even saying that, because maybe growing a baby is so incredibly exhausting that she has no energy for anything else.”
Despite her claim that she needed a break, he could hear a squeaking sound. Like vinegar on glass. She’s cleaning the mirror. For her sister.
“Certainly my mom seems to think so,” Erin continued. “Because she’s always telling Anna to sit down and put her feet up. But even Nick is getting frustrated that she sits round watching cooking shows on TV but doesn’t feel inspired to do any actual cooking herself.
“Not that he says anything to her. Or not since the first time, anyway, when she pointed out that it’s his fault that she’s pregnant. Although, according to Nick, she’s the one who assured him that they didn’t have to worry about birth control because she was on the Pill—and then she forgot to take it for several days in a row.”
Kyle didn’t know how to respond to any of that, so he remained silent. On the other end of the line, Erin huffed out a breath.
“Sorry,” she said, her tone filled with weariness. “That was too much information, wasn’t it?”
“No,” he immediately a
ssured her. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”
“I do know,” she agreed. “But it’s not fair to dump all of that on you just because you called.”
What wasn’t fair, to his mind, was the way everyone dumped their worries and concerns on her. And it frustrated him to know that, in addition to everything she was doing for her mom and dad, her sister’s husband—Erin’s own ex-boyfriend—was dumping his marital woes on her shoulders—though Kyle wasn’t the least bit surprised to discover that the newlyweds were having some trouble adjusting to married life.
Had Anna honestly forgotten to take her birth control? Or had she purposely not taken it because she wanted to get pregnant? Accidental or deliberate, the fact that Nick was questioning her motives didn’t bode well for their marriage.
“You know I’m here for you,” he said. “Whatever you need.”
“I do know,” she agreed. “Talking to you and Lucy and Quinn is the only thing keeping me sane in the midst of all the insanity here.
“But it’s not really Anna’s fault,” she said. “I’m sure it’s hard, dealing with all the pregnancy hormones and preparing for the birth of a child while adjusting to being a newlywed.”
“She should have thought of that before she trapped her husband into marrying her.”
Whoops.
That time he didn’t manage to keep the thought inside his head.
“She didn’t trap Nick,” Erin denied. “Maybe they got married sooner than they’d planned because she was pregnant, but they were already planning to get married.”
“Still, she should be careful not to overplay the pregnancy card,” he remarked. “Or he’s going to resent both her and the baby.”
“Do you really think he would?”
He winced at the worry in her tone, because the last thing he wanted to do was add to the substantial burden she already carried on her slender shoulders.
“I don’t know your sister’s husband well enough to speak for him,” Kyle said. “Maybe he’s overjoyed that he’s going to be a father. I’m just saying that a lot of guys wouldn’t be thrilled to find themselves in that situation.”
“Except that Nick loves Anna,” Erin said, obviously wanting to believe it was true.
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