“Yes, I did,” she insisted. “I forgot to calculate the time difference and called during dinner rush at the restaurant, but you said you’d get back to me later. Instead, you texted in the early hours of the morning to apologize because you’d gone out with some of the staff for a drink after closing and forgot to call.”
He winced. “So you decided to punish me by not telling me about my child?”
“No,” she immediately denied, then sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe. It was an emotional day. I had all these hormones in my system, so many feelings churning inside that I desperately wanted to share with you. But I hadn’t seen you in nine months, and I realized that, in that time, you’d moved on with your life. And I didn’t want to interfere with that by making you feel responsible for me or my baby.”
“But I am responsible. He’s my child, too.”
“I’ve never denied that.”
“Except that you just did, Erin. You referred to him as your baby, not our baby.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m sorry. This is all just...a lot. I know this is a difficult day for you, and I’m making it harder.” He was quiet for a minute, trying to sort out his thoughts. “Okay, let’s talk logistics.”
“Logistics?” she echoed warily.
He nodded. “I think it makes sense to clear the desk out of my office and make it into a room for the baby. I’ll get a crib and change table and whatever else he needs. Just make a list, and I’ll take care of it.”
“It’s great that you want to make space for Joel, but you’re getting ahead of yourself a little,” Erin said. “He won’t be going anywhere for overnight visits until he’s weaned, and that isn’t likely to happen for another four months.”
“I don’t want overnight visits,” he said. “I want you and Joel to live with me.”
She immediately shook her head. “I appreciate your willingness to upend your life—or at least your home office—but we’re not moving in with you. Once everything is settled here, we’ll move back to my apartment where you can spend as much time with him as you want.”
“You sublet your apartment nine months ago,” he reminded her.
“And Shawna’s moving out at the end of the month. She already gave me her notice.”
“The end of the month isn’t for another seven days, and I’ve already missed the first two months of his life.”
“As if you wouldn’t have spent most of that time at the restaurant anyway,” she shot back.
He couldn’t deny that was probably true. Since The Home Station had opened, Kyle could be found in the kitchen there more often than anywhere else. And while he’d never be able to work a regular eight-hour shift in the restaurant business, he knew it was possible to cut back his hours—he’d just never had a reason before.
Now that he knew he had a child, he had a reason.
Before he could share that thought with Erin, though, there was a knock on the door and Quinn poked her head into the cabin. “Is it safe to come in? It’s starting to rain and a flashlight isn’t very effective as an umbrella.”
“Of course,” Erin said, gesturing for her to enter.
“Maybe you can talk some sense into your friend,” Kyle grumbled.
“You know, a little rain never hurt anyone,” Quinn said, turning back toward the door.
“Don’t go,” Erin said, shooting a glare at Kyle. “We’re just having a little disagreement about the timeline for my return to Haven.”
“If you fly back to Nevada with me and Quinn on Friday, you’ll have two extra sets of hands to help with the baby and all his stuff.”
“I can’t leave my family the day after the funeral,” she protested. “Not to mention that if I flew, I wouldn’t have my car when we got back to Haven, and I’d need it to sleep in because Shawna isn’t moving out of my apartment until next week.”
“You can stay with me,” he said.
“It makes a lot more sense for me to drive back at the end of the month.”
“I don’t like the idea of you driving sixteen hundred miles alone,” Kyle admitted.
“I did it eleven months ago,” she pointed out to him.
“And I didn’t like the idea then, either,” he reminded her. “But I knew I couldn’t stop you.”
“And you can’t stop me now.”
“It’s a long drive for anyone to undertake on their own,” Quinn said, attempting to play peacemaker. “And probably even more so with a baby.”
“She’s right,” Kyle said. “If you insist on staying until the end of the month, I’ll fly out here again and drive back with you.”
“I’m not sure your boss would be happy about you taking another three days off next week.”
“Liam will understand.”
“Maybe,” she said. “But it’s not necessary. And truthfully, I’m not sure it’s a good idea for you and me to be stuck in a car together for a twenty-five hour trip.”
“I’ve got a better idea,” Quinn said. “I’ll stay here until Erin’s ready to leave and then I’ll drive back with her.”
“Don’t you have a deadline in a few weeks?” Erin asked her friend.
“I do, but I’ve also got my laptop with me.”
“I think it’s reasonable compromise,” Kyle said.
Plus, Quinn’s offer ensured that Erin couldn’t renege on her promise to return to Haven at the end of the month. Not to mention that the presence of friend at the resort would provide something of a buffer between Erin and her family.
Kyle had only exchanged a few words with each of her mom and siblings at the funeral home, but he’d observed their interactions with one another. And maybe it wasn’t fair to judge, considering the heightened emotions of everyone at present, but it seemed that, even in the midst of their grief, Erin was somehow relegated to the background.
When Lucy had asked him to bring her friend back to Haven, he’d refused to make any promises, understanding that Erin would need some time with her family to grieve and figure out her next steps. He’d even considered the unhappy possibility that she might want to stay in Silver Hook, close to her mom and siblings.
Now that he knew she’d had his baby, that was no longer an option.
* * *
The morning after the funeral, Kyle left early for the airport and his return flight to Nevada, and Quinn was hanging out in the cabin with her laptop, leaving Erin alone with her thoughts—at least until her sister-in-law sat down across from her at the dining room table.
“Is everything okay?” Marissa asked gently.
“You mean aside from the fact that we buried Dad yesterday?” Erin asked.
Her sister-in-law smiled gently. “Yeah, aside from that.”
Erin shook her head. “No.”
“You’re dealing with a lot,” Marissa noted sympathetically. “In addition to grieving for your dad and supporting your mom, you’ve got all those baby hormones messing with your equilibrium.”
“And Kyle pressuring me to go back to Haven.”
“Isn’t that what you want, too?”
“It is,” she acknowledged. “I just think, with everything that’s happened, the timing isn’t right for me to leave.”
“You’re worried about Bonnie.”
“If I go back to Haven—”
“When you go back to Haven,” her sister-in-law interjected.
“—she’ll be alone.”
“No, she won’t,” Marissa reminded her. “Anna and Nick and Nicky will be living here until construction on their house is finished, and me and Ian and Amie and Ella are less than five miles down the road. Not to mention the guests who will be in and out of the resort all summer. She will not be alone.”
Erin nodded a reluctant acknowledgment.
“So there’s no reason for you to stay,” her sister-in-law continued.
&nbs
p; “I know. But I can’t help wondering...what Dad would want me to do.”
“He’d want you to go,” Bonnie said from the doorway. “He never wanted you to come home in the first place.”
The combination of her words and the harshness of her tone made Erin feel as if she’d been slapped.
“Don’t say something you’re going to regret,” Marissa gently cautioned her mother-in-law.
“She was wondering what her father would want her to do, and I told her.”
Erin should have left it at that, but apparently she had a streak of masochism, because she asked, “What do you want, Mom?”
Bonnie didn’t hesitate. “I want you to go back to Haven.”
Chapter Ten
It was later than Erin had anticipated when she finally pulled into her designated parking spot at the triplex that had been her home for four years prior to her return to Silver Hook. And though she’d been gone for eleven months, her heart filled with an unexpected sense of rightness and peace when she saw the glow of lights through the windows of her living room.
Kyle’s doing, she guessed.
He was undoubtedly still furious with her for not telling him when she found out she was pregnant. Nevertheless, he’d put the lights on so that she wouldn’t walk into a dark apartment with their baby.
She felt the telltale sting of tears behind her eyes and had a sudden urge to drop her head onto the steering wheel and cry, even if she didn’t know why. Of course, after the emotional ups and downs of the past year, she didn’t ever seem to need a specific reason for the tears to start.
Baby hormones, Anna claimed, and Erin was willing to acknowledge that those were at least part of it.
“We’re home,” she whispered the announcement to her sleeping son as she shifted into Park and turned off the ignition.
Of course, as soon as the subtle vibrations of the engine stopped, Joel woke up and immediately started fussing.
“I know you’re tired of being strapped in that car seat,” she said soothingly. “So let’s get you upstairs, then I’ll come back and get your Pack ’n Play. You can sleep in there tonight—and we’ll go to the baby store to pick up your crib tomorrow.”
She probably should have asked Kyle to pick it up for her—she was definitely going to have to ask for his help to put it together—but for tonight, the playpen would suffice.
She draped the diaper bag over her shoulder, then unlatched the car seat from its anchored base and headed up the stairs to her second-floor apartment.
Before she could slide her key into the lock, the door opened from the other side.
“I was watching for you,” Kyle said, offering the explanation in lieu of a greeting. “Quinn texted when you dropped her off in Cooper’s Corners, so I knew it would only take you about twenty minutes to get home from there.”
“Twenty minutes after twenty-eight hours,” she noted.
“That’s a long drive,” he acknowledged.
“Made longer by the fact that we had to stop every few hundred miles,” she said. “Joel usually loves riding in the car, but I guess the extended journey was a little too much for him. Thankfully I had Quinn to share the driving with me, or it might have taken us three days to get home.”
“I’ll bet the trip was hard on you, too,” he said. “How are you feeling?”
She was touched that he asked, pleased that he cared, and that was enough to make her want to blubber again. But she managed to hold it together—at least for the moment.
“I’m okay,” she said. “Tired. Hungry.”
“How does tagliatelle with asparagus and parmesan fonduta sound?” he asked.
“Heavenly.” She sniffed the air. “Is that what I smell?”
He nodded. “It was one of tonight’s features at The Home Station.”
She lost the battle now and her eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t expect this. I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he told her. “Just have a seat while I dish up your dinner.”
“Will it keep another twenty minutes?” she asked, lifting the baby out of the carrier. “I need to change and feed Joel before I worry about filling my own belly.”
“It’ll keep,” he said.
“And I need to bring up his playpen from the car, so that he has somewhere to sleep tonight.”
“About that,” he said, taking her arm and steering her down the hall. “I hope I haven’t overstepped, but—”
He pushed open the door of what had previously been a spare bedroom to reveal a freshly painted and fully furnished nursery. The crib, change table, dresser and glider rocker were dark wood that contrasted beautifully with walls of a soft sage green decorated with decals of all the characters from the Hundred Acre Wood.
Erin felt the sting of fresh tears as she looked around, marveling at the obvious care and attention to detail that had gone into making the room over for their baby.
“Shawna only moved out on Tuesday,” she remarked. “When did you do all this?”
“I reached out to her when I got back from Silver Hook, to tell her what I wanted to do, so she let me in on the weekend to ensure the paint would have time to cure before you got home with the baby.”
“It’s...perfect,” she told him.
“So you’re not going to ask me to give your key back?”
“I’m not going to ask for my key,” she confirmed. “In fact, I was thinking—in the spirit of compromise and cooperation—to lift the ‘emergency use’ only condition. I’m not saying you should just walk in at all hours, but if you want to see Joel and I don’t respond to your knock on the door, you should feel free to let yourself in because I’m probably just busy with the baby.”
“Thank you,” he said.
“Thank you for doing such a fabulous job with this room.”
“You’ll have to thank Claudio and Lucy, too,” he warned. “Because they helped.”
“I guess that means they know...about Joel?”
“Yeah. I needed another set of hands to assemble the crib, so I asked Claudio to stop by, but I didn’t tell him why. Of course, Lucy insisted on tagging along and...well, she didn’t have too much trouble figuring things out when she saw what I was doing.”
“Is she mad?” Erin asked warily, setting the baby on top of the fully stocked change table and unsnapping his sleeper.
“That you had a baby?”
“That I didn’t tell her,” she clarified, briskly swapping out the baby’s wet diaper for a clean one.
“You’ve got some explaining to do,” he warned. “But I don’t think she’ll stay mad for long. She’s already convinced that our baby and her baby aren’t just going to be cousins but best friends.”
“That was always Lucy’s plan,” Erin acknowledged with a smile as she refastened the sleeper. “Not that our kids would be cousins—I don’t think she ever imagined that—but that they’d grow up together and be best friends.”
“Well, she’s excited to meet her nephew, although I swore her to secrecy because I didn’t want my mom to hear from anyone but us that she’s a grandma.”
“You haven’t told her yet?” Erin asked, surprised.
“Considering the tension in our relationship, I decided it would be best to wait until she could actually meet the baby, fall head over heels in love with him and immediately forgive me for everything I’ve ever done wrong.”
Erin chuckled softly. “Those are some pretty lofty expectations for a first meeting,” she noted. “Joel’s a cute kid, but he’s not magic.”
* * *
While Erin was tending to the baby, Kyle brought up the suitcases, boxes and various other paraphernalia from her car. He had to make several trips, depositing most of the items just inside the door before returning to her vehicle again. But the last box was filled with Joe
l’s toys, so he carried that directly into the nursery—where she was still feeding the baby.
He halted abruptly and ordered himself to look away. To look anywhere but at the breast being suckled by their infant son.
But while breasts were undeniably one of Kyle’s favorite female body parts, the feeling that rushed through his veins as he watched Erin nurse their baby was emotional rather than sexual. And the beautiful image of mother and child was one that he knew would be imprinted on his memory forever.
He’d only been partly joking when he’d expressed hope that his mother would be so captivated by her firstborn grandchild she’d willingly forgive all of the father’s transgressions, because the truth was, meeting his son for the first time had tempered some of Kyle’s hurt and anger that Erin had kept their child’s existence from him. And a little more of his lingering resentment melted now, washed away by a wave of gratitude for everything that she’d done to nurture and care for their son, not just in the two months since he’d been born, but throughout the whole of her pregnancy.
Erin glanced up then and spotted him hovering in the doorway. “You can come in,” she said. “Any modesty I might have had was left behind in the delivery room.”
He accepted the invitation and set the box of toys on the floor beside the dresser. “I was going to tell you that I want to help out as much as possible with Joel, but I guess there are some things I can’t do.”
“I do pump sometimes and freeze the milk, so that I can give him a bottle when it’s not convenient to nurse,” she said.
“Like at the funeral home,” he realized.
She nodded. “Though that was more a restriction of the dress than the location—and why I was so desperate to nurse him when we finally got back to Sunfish Bay. But I’d be happy to pump more frequently so that you can feed him, if it’s something you want to do.”
“It is,” he said. “But you’ll have to show me how. I don’t have a lot—or actually any—experience with babies.”
“I can show you,” she promised, easing the baby from her breast and lifting him to her shoulder.
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