“You really think it’s going to take that long?” he asked skeptically.
“Every baby is different,” she acknowledged. “But I was in labor for sixteen hours with Joel.”
“Wow.”
She nodded.
“Who kept you company for those sixteen hours?” he asked.
“My mom.”
Knowing what he did about her relationship with her mother, he was understandably taken aback by this revelation. “Was that your choice?”
“Not my first choice,” she admitted. “Anna was my partner for childbirth classes, but she and Nick had gone to Jonesboro for his grandmother’s hundredth birthday that weekend. She offered to stay, because it was so close to my due date, but I couldn’t let her miss such a milestone occasion. Plus, I knew that she and Nick needed a break from everything, and everyone I’d talked to assured me that first babies are always late.”
“When was he due?” Kyle asked.
“February fourth.”
He knew, because she’d given him a copy of the baby’s birth certificate, that Joel was born on the thirtieth of January, but Kyle hadn’t given any thought to whether he’d been early or late or on time.
“So because he decided to come five days early, you ended up in the delivery room with your mom?”
“It made sense to have someone with me who’d been through labor and childbirth before and—” Erin shrugged “—she offered. Actually, I think my dad might have nudged her into making the offer, but she was surprisingly supportive.
“Apparently she started to do a lot of reading on postpartum depression after Anna told her that she was pregnant, because she was worried that Anna might struggle to bond with her baby—like my mom did with me. She even apologized for not making more of an effort, which I really thought might be a turning point in our relationship.
“Until the next day, when she came back to the hospital and found me crying—not for any particular reason except that I was overwhelmed by hormones and emotions—and tried to reassure me that it was okay if I didn’t love my baby, that feelings of maternal affection would eventually come if I spent enough time with him. Which was both hurtful and insulting, because I already loved Joel more than anything in the world.”
“And it shows in everything you do,” he assured her. “Every day I watch you with him, I realize our son is incredibly lucky to have you as a mom.”
“I’m the lucky one,” she said. “He’s such a good baby.”
“Are you saying that you’d love him less if he was a difficult baby?”
“Of course not,” she said.
He’d only been teasing her, but the almost imperceptible pause before she responded made him realize it was something she’d not only considered but worried about. That she’d been afraid she might reject her baby, as she felt her mom had rejected her.
“My dad was great, though,” she said. “He wasn’t particularly happy when I told him I was pregnant and that the baby’s dad wasn’t in the picture—although I assured him that was my choice—but he was excited about being a grandpa again. And, of course, he fell head over heels the first time he held Joel.”
“Because our kid is magic that way,” Kyle said.
She smiled at his matter-of-fact tone. “I’m just glad my dad got to meet him. I only wish he’d had the chance to meet you, too.”
“I would have come to Silver Hook at any time if you’d asked.”
“I know,” she admitted now. “And I should have asked. I should have done a lot of things differently.”
He couldn’t disagree. And it frustrated him to think about how different things might be now if she’d told him about her pregnancy when she first knew.
On the other hand, she’d had his baby, so he had a lot to be grateful for, too.
* * *
Joel worked his magic again when he was introduced to Grandpa Marty, Grandma Mandy, Uncle Duncan, Uncle Callum and Aunt Fiona, and at the end of a surprisingly enjoyable visit, Kyle and Erin promised to bring him back soon.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Erin asked, when they were in the car heading toward home.
“No,” he acknowledged. “But that might have been because Duncan, Callum and Fiona were there.”
“They wanted to meet your son—and probably see you, too,” she added teasingly.
“I haven’t made much of an effort to keep in touch with them,” he acknowledged.
“Because spending time with them makes you feel disloyal to your mom?” she guessed.
“Maybe.”
“She and your dad have been divorced...how long?”
“Twenty-five years.”
“I think it’s fair to assume she’s moved on with her life,” Erin said. “She certainly seems happy enough with Niall these days.”
“Apparently,” he agreed. “But that’s something I’d rather not talk about.”
Her phone buzzed inside her pocket, and she pulled it out to glance at the screen.
“Well, it’s a girl,” she told him.
“What?” he asked, clearly baffled by the sudden announcement.
“Lucy had the baby.”
Her thumbs moved over the keypad as she composed a response to Claudio’s message, adding lots of celebratory emojis and hugs and kisses.
“Three hours,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s only been three hours since Claudio texted to say they were on their way to the hospital.”
“You shouldn’t really be surprised,” Kyle said. “You know my sister. When she wants something to happen, she makes it happen.”
“Still... I’ve never heard of anyone delivering a baby that quickly. Not that I wanted her to suffer through a longer labor,” she hastened to clarify. “I just can’t believe it was so fast.”
Although, considering how long it had taken her friend to conceive, how many home pregnancy tests she’d bought and how many tears she’d shed when the results weren’t what she’d hoped, perhaps it was fitting that at least one part of it had been easy for Lucy.
Of course, they stopped at the hospital on their way home. And though baby visitors weren’t usually allowed on the maternity ward—with the exception of siblings—the nurses obligingly looked the other way when Kyle and Erin snuck Joel in to meet his brand-new cousin.
“Six pounds twelve ounces and eighteen inches,” the proud new dad announced.
“And absolutely gorgeous,” Erin said, cuddling the newborn.
“Lucky for her, she looks just like her mom,” Claudio said.
“That is lucky,” Kyle teased his brother-in-law.
“Does she have a name yet?” Erin asked.
“Seraphina Belle,” Lucy said, smiling.
“Because she’s our beautiful angel,” Claudio explained.
They didn’t stay long, because Kyle had to go into work for the dinner shift and, more important, the new mom needed to rest, but it was a nice visit, though Erin was feeling decidedly melancholy when they left the hospital.
After Joel was secured in the backseat but before she could open the passenger-side door of the vehicle, Kyle tipped her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“Then why do you look as if you’re trying not to cry—and failing,” he amended, as the first tears spilled over her lashes and slid down her cheeks.
“They’re happy tears,” she said, brushing them away. “Mostly.”
“Because?” he prompted.
“Because Lucy and Claudio waited a long time to have a baby, and—” her voice cracked a little “—I’m so happy for them.”
He waited, as if he knew that wasn’t the whole reason for her tears.
“I’m happy for them,” she said again. “But seeing them together, I’m a little envious, too. Because despite all the
heartache they went through trying to have a baby, they went through it together. And when Lucy finally got pregnant, they celebrated together. And today, they brought their beautiful little girl into the world together.”
“And you were on your own,” he noted.
“Not entirely. But I did it all without you. I chose to do it without you,” she acknowledged. “And listening to Claudio talk about cutting the cord when Seraphina was born—hearing the awe and wonder in his voice—I realized how much you missed out on because I decided not to tell you that we were having a baby.”
“I do wish you’d told me you were pregnant,” he said. “And I would have loved to have been there when our son was born, but that’s all water under the bridge now.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d want to be there.” She whispered the confession. “And maybe that’s one of the reasons I never told you that I was pregnant. Because as long as you didn’t know, I could tell myself that you would have come if you’d known, and that the only reason you didn’t come was that you didn’t know. Not because you didn’t want our baby.”
“If you’d asked me to come, I would have been there—even if Joel wasn’t my baby,” he said now. “Because friends are there for one another, no matter the circumstances.”
“Are we still friends?”
“Always,” he promised.
It was more than she deserved, but not even a fraction of what she wanted.
Chapter Seventeen
Friday afternoon, Erin was taking advantage of Joel’s nap time to draft invoices for recent projects. It was her absolute least favorite part of the job, but it needed to be done. When a knock sounded on the door, she was grateful for the reprieve. Since she’d moved back to Haven, there had been no shortage of visitors stopping by to welcome her home—and get a peek at her (and Kyle Landry’s!) baby.
She didn’t really mind. Especially since no one ever came empty-handed. “New moms don’t have time to be fussing over the stove,” she’d been told every time she accepted yet another stew or casserole or pie. Because even those who knew her well were too polite to acknowledge that she’d never spent much time in the kitchen even before she’d had a baby.
Mrs. Powell, her downstairs neighbor, was one of the more regular visitors. But Helen never stayed long—especially if Joel was napping when she dropped by. “You should be resting when he does,” she’d advised the new mom. “Not entertaining old ladies who have nothing better to do with their time.”
Erin appreciated the sentiment, but she also sincerely enjoyed spending time with the widow who’d lived in Haven her whole life and had a story to tell about every single one of the town’s residents. Mrs. Powell didn’t gossip, though. She wouldn’t ever break a confidence or say anything mean-spirited.
Erin sniffed her shoulder as she made her way to the door, checking to see if she smelled like baby spit. Because she hadn’t had a chance to take the burp cloths out of the dryer before she’d nursed Joel earlier that morning and, of course, he’d spit up on her. She added “laundry” to the mental list she’d been compiling of all the things she needed to do while the baby was down for his nap as she opened the door.
“Mom.” Erin honestly would not have been more surprised if she’d discovered Bozo the Clown standing outside her door. “What are you doing here?”
Bonnie’s smile was as tentative as her tone. “Well, that’s not quite the welcome I was hoping for, but I guess that’s my fault for not telling you that I was coming.”
“I’m happy to see you,” Erin said, offering her mother an awkward hug. “I’m just surprised. Haven isn’t a leisurely drive from Silver Hook.”
“I know,” Bonnie agreed. “I flew into Elko and drove from there.”
“Is everything okay?” she asked cautiously.
“No. I mean yes. But not really. Nothing has been the same since your dad passed away.”
Erin knew that was true. Not a day went by that she didn’t think about and miss her dad. It wasn’t even as if she’d been in the habit of talking to him every day—but it had been comforting to know that he was there if she needed him. And now he wasn’t. She could only imagine how much harder it was for her mom to suddenly be without her husband of forty-two years, to live every day in the house that had been their home together and to sleep alone in the bed they’d shared.
“I thought I was doing okay,” Bonnie continued. “I thought keeping busy at the resort would be good for me. But there are so many memories of him every way I turn. And, of course, most of our guests are return visitors, who all want to share their memories, and I just needed a break from it all.
“Diana Locke suggested that I book a solo vacation to visit art galleries in France or vineyards in Italy. Apparently that’s something that a lot of older people—divorced or widowed—” her voice trembled on the word “—do, but I’m not sure I’m up for something like that. Or that I should go too far away or be gone for too long, expecting Ian and Marissa and Anna and Nick to be responsible for the resort. So I decided to start with something a little closer to home. And since Arkansas is closer to Nevada than it is to Oregon, here I am.”
“Here you are,” Erin agreed. And while “For how long?” and “Where are you planning to stay?” were the questions at the forefront of her mind, she refrained from blurting them out lest she give her mom the impression she wasn’t welcome.
But some advance notice would have been nice. If she’d known Bonnie was going to show up at her door, Erin might have wiped the bread crumbs off the counter, folded the laundry in the basket on the sofa—or at least moved it out of sight—and changed into a clean shirt. Not that any of those things really mattered, but she was suddenly aware of each incomplete task as her mother’s gaze swept around the room.
“How is my youngest grandson?” Bonnie asked.
Erin’s smile came easily this time. “He’s doing great. We just started him on cereal, which he absolutely loves. And he’s rolling over—only front to back, so far, but I’m sure back to front won’t be long.”
“Anna showed me the video you sent to her.”
“I sent it to you, too,” Erin said.
Her mother waved a hand. “You know I’m not really good with technology.”
“Clicking an attachment in an email isn’t really a technological challenge.”
“You always tell me not to click on attachments.”
“If they’re from someone you don’t know,” Erin clarified. “If it’s a video file that comes from my email address with a message that says, ‘Hey, Mom, check out this cute video of Joel,’ you should feel pretty confident that it’s a video from me and not a computer virus.”
“Well, I did see the video,” Bonnie reminded her. “And it was cute. Especially the look on his face when he suddenly found himself on his back, as if he wasn’t quite sure how it had happened.”
“Yeah, he surprised himself a few times in the beginning,” she said. “Now he does it on purpose, and then he looks so proud of himself.”
Bonnie smiled. “I hope I get to see him do it while I’m here.”
“I’m sure you will,” Erin agreed. “And you probably won’t have to wait too long—he’ll be up from his nap soon.”
“He’s sleeping now? Isn’t it a little late in the day for a nap?”
“No, this is his usual afternoon naptime,” she said, refusing to let her mother’s obvious disapproval make her feel incompetent. Because the schedule worked for Joel—and for Erin and Kyle, too—and that was all that mattered.
“When you were a baby, we couldn’t let you nap after three or you’d be awake until midnight.”
“Was that me?” Erin asked. “Or Anna?”
“It might have been your sister,” Bonnie acknowledged, her cheeks flushing at the reminder that she was pretty much checked out during the first two years of her oldest daughter’s life.<
br />
“Well, we haven’t had any trouble with Joel’s schedule,” she said, offering an olive branch.
“That’s the second time you’ve said ‘we,’” her mom remarked. “You mean you and Kyle?”
Erin nodded.
“So the two of you are together?”
“We’re co-parenting.”
“I don’t know what that means,” Bonnie admitted.
“It means that we’re sharing the responsibilities and decisions that affect our son.”
“But you’re not together?”
“We’re not together.” Desperate to change the subject, she said, “Why don’t we sit out on the balcony and enjoy the sunshine?”
“Okay,” her mother agreed.
She opened the patio door, pleased when she heard her mother’s breath catch as she took in the view of the mountains in the distance.
“Oh, that is a view,” she said. “I guess I was so focused on following the directions on the car’s navigation system, I didn’t let myself appreciate how pretty it is out here.”
Erin resisted the urge to shake her head over the fact that her mother could figure out the navigation system of a rental vehicle she’d never driven before but not how to open an email attachment on her own computer.
“Can I offer you something to drink?” she asked instead, silently willing her sleeping baby to wake up now.
“Do you have iced tea?”
“I do,” Erin confirmed. “It’s not sweetened, but I have sugar.”
“That would be fine,” Bonnie said. “But...will you hear Joel if we’re outside?”
“I’ll bring out the monitor,” she said, trying not to bristle at the implication that she wouldn’t have thought to do so.
“Okay.”
She poured two glasses of tea over ice, added the sugar bowl and a long-handled spoon to the tray, and carried it outside.
“It really is a beautiful view,” Bonnie noted again. “But I’m not sure it’s safe to have a balcony with a baby.”
“I lived here before I had a baby,” she reminded her mom. “And it’s not as if I leave him out here unattended.”
The Chef's Surprise Baby Page 17