I latch onto something she’s said. “So you mean the math students don’t hear the gossip? What about Tina? She knows some of the gossip.”
Scarlett snorts. “Tina is an anomaly. I can’t speak for everyone, but the probability is that people in the math department aren’t privy to gossip. Nor interested.”
So maybe Reed hasn’t heard it.
She pauses and her voice takes on a suspicious tone. “This is about Reed, isn’t it?”
I remain silent.
“Spill.”
I tell her about my car not starting, and Reed driving me to the center and how wonderful he was with the kids. “He wanted to talk about last Friday night.”
“I should hope so.”
“He told me that I’d read things wrong. He was disgusted with himself because we were there with other people.”
“Do you believe him?”
“He seemed genuine.” I clear my throat. “There’s something else.” I can’t bring myself to tell her our arrangement. It sounds superficial and dirty.
“And….”
Simple is best. “We’ve agreed to try to date.”
She’s silent.
“Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“Why are you wasting your time with him? You know he’s not your type.”
“You mean poor.”
“I prefer to think of it as financially challenged,” Scarlett says.
“You of all people should understand my reasoning.”
“There’s more to life than money.”
I laugh and it’s ugly and raw. “Tell that to eight-year-old me. The one who’s immortalized on the wall of pictures at the Middle Tennessee Children’s Charity. The little girl who went to bed crying because her stomach burned with hunger. The girl whose clothes came from the charity and were so worn and faded, they had to be fifth- or sixth-hand, not second. Or the twelve-year-old girl who only had one pair of shoes. A worn pair of sneakers with holes and the soles falling off. I wore them all fucking year, Scarlett.” I choke on the lump in my throat. “You tell the girl whose life was a living hell all because she didn’t have money. You tell that girl money isn’t important.”
“Caroline.” Scarlett’s soft voice soothes my pain at my remembrance.
“So even you think I’m a gold-digging, frigid bitch?”
“Did Reed say that?” She sounds livid.
“No.” I smirk. “Ironically, he’s the one person who didn’t.”
“Does he know about your past?”
I blink and remain silent for several seconds. “You know the answer to that.”
I can hear her disappointment in her silence.
“How’s your mom?”
“I have no idea.”
“Don’t blow this, Caroline.”
“Enough with the lectures, Scarlett. I’ve gotta go.”
“Okay.” She sounds worried. “But I hate for us to hang up this way.”
I sigh. “We’re good. I’m pulling into the west parking lot now so I need to focus on getting a parking spot.”
“Okay.”
I hang up before she finishes the word.
I call Tucker next and immediately ask, “What are the rumors going around campus about me?”
Tucker’s voice raises two octaves. “Hello, Tucker this is Caroline. How are you? Good, I have a question.” His voice returns to normal. “That’s how it’s done.”
“And yet we still get back to the same question. What are the rumors going around about me?”
“Caroline.”
“I’m a big girl and I’m about to go into class so I don’t have time for the tiptoe bullshit. I want to know now.”
He pauses. “The fluffy version or the straight version?”
So Tina was right. There really are rumors about me. “Give it to me straight.”
“You’re at Southern for your M.R.S. degree.”
“I see.” The sad truth is the rumors are right.
“Most guys see it as a personal challenge to get you to bed.” He lets that one soak in. “That’s why I put the fear of God into Reed Friday night. In case that was his reason for sniffing around.”
“Thanks.” I hang up and walk across campus toward my Environmental Sustainability for Designers class. I want to trust Reed, I really do. But I need to hear it from his own mouth. If he really got me into bed as a challenge, wouldn’t he get laid and move on? But then why would he? The sex is great. Why not stick around and enjoy it? I’ve handed him a commitment-free relationship on a silver platter. Isn’t that what most guys dream of? And all set up by my own rules.
It’s difficult to concentrate on my class, and I consider calling Reed and confronting him but when my class is over, I pull out my phone and find a text:
Did your car start this morning? I should have stuck around to make sure you got to campus okay.
That doesn’t sound like a guy looking for a quick lay. For now, I decide to take him at his word until he proves me otherwise.
It started fine. Thank you. For everything.
My pleasure.
I laugh at his last text, sure it has more than one meaning.
My next class isn’t until this afternoon so I grab a coffee and a bagel from the student center and head to the design lab. I can get a good three hours in before I have to stop for class, then I can get another hour in before the committee meeting. I’m going to practically be living in the lab for the next two weeks.
I get the skirt constructed and realize I’m in huge trouble. The dressmaker forms are adult women sizes.
“Caroline, you’ve got to go,” one of my classmates calls out. “Don’t you have a committee meeting at four?”
I glance up at the clock on the wall. It’s 4:02. “Shit.”
I grab my bag and toss in a few items, but leave my fabric and pieces at my worktable. “I don’t have time to pick this up. I’ll be back in an hour.”
“Go. I’ll watch it.”
I hurry across campus and walk into the conference room in the dean’s office at 4:10. Everyone looks up at me as I walk in. I half expect Reed to give me a stern admonishment, but that was the old Reed. New Reed looks up with a soft smile and says, “We were just finishing the marketing report.”
Everyone’s eyes widen and they look from Reed to me then back at Reed as though he’s grown a third eye on his forehead. It’s obvious to everyone this is uncharacteristic of Dictator Pendergraft.
They’ve skipped my report so they come back to me, even though I don’t have much to tell. The company in charge of setting up the runway has been hired and confirmed. The theater department has agreed to help with lighting and all the design students now have child models.
When everyone reports on their duties, Reed looks happy. “We’re in good shape. How about we skip a meeting on Friday and discuss anything that comes up in a group e-mail?”
No one complains. The last thing anyone wants to do is spend late Friday afternoon at a committee meeting. The glance Reed slips my direction tells me he has other ideas of how to fill the time.
After the meeting is adjourned, everyone files out, but I take my time putting my legal pad back in my bag. Reed hangs back as well, but so does Lexi. When the last person walks out, Lexi’s face lights up. “Where were you last night, Reed?”
Reed’s head shoots up. “I told you I stayed all night in the math department and came home to shower.”
She sucks in her lips and looks back and forth at us as she tilts her head. “Hmm.” She doesn’t believe it for a minute. She directs her attention to me. “Did Reed take you to the center to measure the children?”
“Of course,” I say. I feel like I’m being interrogated. Then I realize I am.
“And did he behave himself?”
My face burns with a blush. “He was a perfect gentleman.” I don’t know what Reed has told her about us. Perhaps he doesn’t want her to know, since this is temporary.
Reed walks over to me and wraps a
n arm around my back. His hand rests on my hip, so there’s no doubt we’re together. “We went to dinner when we finished up.”
Thank God he doesn’t tell Lexi what we finished up before dinner.
Her eyes light up. “Dinner that lasted all night?” Her eyebrows rise playfully.
Reed’s fingers dig into my hip and I fight the urge to let my body melt into his. I really need to work on self-control with him. “I jumped her car but stuck around the math department working until she called asking for her keys. So I followed her home to make sure she didn’t have any trouble.”
“I bet you did. You’re such a gentleman, Reed,” she teases.
But the truth is that Reed is a gentleman. I’m sure he would have followed me home even if I’d told him no to sex.
She lifts up her hands. “What you two do is your business. But I couldn’t be happier for you. I love Caroline.” She winks at Reed. “I think she’s perfect for you.”
When she picks up her bag, I ask, “Did Brandon call you?” Reed’s arm stiffens against my back.
Her smile fades. “No.”
“He still might.”
She shrugs and leaves the room.
“Don’t do that.” Reed says in a low voice.
I take a step away from him to watch his face. “Do what?”
“Meddle in Lexi’s life.”
I put my hands on my hips. “What are you talking about? I asked her a question.”
“You’re encouraging her to go out with Brandon McKenzie.”
“Well, why not? He’s a nice guy.”
Reed is livid. “He had a DUI two summers ago. His father is rumored to have multiple affairs. The apple often doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
My eyes fly open. “Oh, my God. You did an Internet search on him? Why?” Did Reed even know that Brandon was interested in Lexi?
Ice water floods his eyes. “I had my reasons.”
I shake my head. “I don’t have time to discuss this right now. I have to get back to the lab before someone moves my things.”
“So that means you won’t go to dinner with me?”
My chest squeezes with regret. Despite how badly this conversation is going, I still want to be with him. But I’m also beginning to panic. “I have to work. I would have said no, even if we hadn’t had this disagreement.”
He gives me a curt nod. “I see.”
Does he? I don’t think so, but I’m not sure how to convince him otherwise. I take a step toward him, lifting my arms around his neck. “Telling you no to dinner has to be the hardest thing I’ve done today.”
I press my mouth against his, intending to only get a taste to get me through the evening. But at the touch of my lips, Reed wraps his arms around my back. Pulling me tight against his chest, he takes control, showing me how much he wants to see me.
“You wore a dress,” he murmurs. “I love it when you wear a dress.”
“I know. I wore it for you.” His hand creeps down my thigh, gripping the fabric and pulling it up a few inches. “Reed, someone could walk in.”
Reed lifts his head, and grins. “I’m very tempted to see this through, but I want you to get some work done.”
“You’re turning me down?”
“No, I’m postponing. What I have planned is better than a quick round on a table.”
“You have something planned?”
He grins. “No, but I kind of like a bed now that we’ve tried it. I think it went rather well.”
“Definitely, no complaints here.”
He kisses me again and drops my skirt, then picks up my bag and his. “How about I walk you across campus? If I can’t have dinner with you, at least I’ll get to spend a little more time with you.”
“I’d like that.”
He leads me out of the office. The sun is out but the air is crisp. When we get outside, Reed takes my hand in his.
I’m surprised by how much I like this nonsexual connection to him. For the first time in a long time, I feel comfortable with someone. Like I’m not watching my every move. “I love fall.”
He looks down at me. “Why?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “The cool air, the changing leaves. The holidays are just around the corner.”
“You like the holidays?”
“It’s more the idea of it.”
He stops and turns to me. “What’s the idea of it?”
“You know … family. Traditions.”
“You mean presents?”
When I was kid, of course I wanted presents. But Christmases were always sparse. It was hard going to school and hearing the kids talking about their PS2s and iPods. But it was more than that. Since we had so little money, my parents tried to downplay the entire holiday. There was no Christmas tree once I hit middle school. No stockings, no Christmas dinner. Scarlett teased me the first year in our dorm when I bought a small Christmas tree, but only lightheartedly. She knew what Christmas was like at my house. The second year she helped me decorate. Last year she surprised me with a live six-foot Douglas fir tree. I cried like a baby for ten minutes. I can’t bear to think of Christmas without her this year. Alone.
I clear my throat and shake my head. “No, not the presents really. More the idea of being surrounded by love.”
His mouth parts as though he’s surprised by my answer. “Are you close to your family?”
What was I thinking telling him that? I tug on his hand and start walking. “No.” My tone tells him the subject is off-limits. “What’s your favorite season?”
“Summer, definitely summer,” he says. “I like being on the water. There’s nothing like the wind and the waves and the sun on your face.”
I glance up at his smile. “Do you have a boat?”
He blinks. “Yeah. My parents do.”
“Are there lakes in Massachusetts?”
“There’s an ocean.”
It’s my turn to be surprised. I hadn’t thought of that. “And did you like Christmases at your house?”
He pauses, then looks at me with a soft smile. “I like the idea of it, too.”
We walk for several seconds in silence. I’m surprised how much I’ve shared with him. I always keep my answers superficial. Is it possible to share the intimate things we have and not find my heart exposed?
“How much work do you have today?” he asks as he opens the door to my building.
I close my eyes and sigh. “A lot.”
“Can I see you later?”
I smile at him. “I hope so.” We start up the stairs to the second floor. “What do you have planned tonight?”
“I have plenty of work to keep me busy.” He stops outside the design room door. “I’ll call you later, okay? To check on you.”
“I’d like that.”
He hesitates and for the first time since I’ve known him, he looks uncertain. “I really want to kiss you goodbye, but there’s other people around. Are you okay with that?”
I’ve never been a big public display person, but when I think about it, I’ve always worried what people thought of me. I just found out most of the campus thinks I’m frigid. Seeing me kiss Reed will make them think again. But I’m surprised to realize when I’m with Reed, I don’t care what people think.
I give him a sweet smile. Other than Scarlett and Tucker, he’s one of the few people who actually cares about my feelings or what I want. “I think we should have a rule that we always kiss goodbye.”
He wraps his arms around my back and pulls me close. “I like that rule.”
I’m amazed I’m so familiar with his body already. How easily I mold into him. I rest my hands on his chest and stand on tiptoes, pressing my mouth to his.
He kisses me back, a lazy kiss full of promise and affection, and I lose myself in it. How is it in the two years I was with Justin, I never felt anything remotely close to this?
With a sigh, he lifts his head and kisses my forehead. “You’re my addiction, Caroline Hunter. The more I see you,”—he l
eans into my ear and lowers his voice—“the more I taste you—”
I shiver.
“—the more I want you.” He drops his hold and steps back. “I’ll call you later,” he says as he walks away.
I’ve never felt so lonely in my life.
Chapter Nineteen
Hours later, I’m working alone in the design lab. I’m finishing the shirt for the first outfit, and I’m frustrated as hell. The dress forms are too big, and I can’t make them any smaller. Even if I could get the waist and hips the right size, the fact that the form has breasts will throw off the draping.
The only thing I know to do is go back to the center and try them on the children. But that will take multiple fittings per child. I don’t have the luxury of time for that, not to mention the inconvenience to the center.
My phone rings, pulling me out of my thoughts and a smile lifts my mouth. I can only think of a handful of people who could be on the other end, and I have a feeling who it is since it’s after eight and he hasn’t called yet. I drop a pair of scissors on the floor as I reach for the phone.
“Hey,” I say as I squat down to pick them up off.
“Hello, Carol Ann.”
My breath strangles in my throat at the sound of my mother’s voice, and I drop to my knees.
“I’m going through my affairs and I’m wonderin’ if you want your Grandma Muriel’s locket. You always liked it when you were little.”
The locket can’t be worth more than a couple of dollars. “Doesn’t Aunt Minnie want it? She’s your sister.”
“Nah, she don’t give two figs about it.”
I close my eyes. One of the few memories I have of my grandmother is of her wearing the locket. I was always fascinated with a tiny lock of hair she kept inside it. When I asked her where it came from, she said she’d cut it off the head of her stillborn baby boy. Now I see how morbid it is, but back then I was fascinated. “Um, yeah.” I’m surprised I really do.
“Is there anything else you want?”
Every conscious thought flees from my head. The only thing I can think of lies heavy on my tongue. I want you to love me. Instead, I swallow the words and force out, “No.”
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