‘I’ll be right as rain, Mum,’ Dora reassured her. ‘Anyway, I can’t sit around and do nothing until our Josie’s home safe and sound.’ Unlike some people, she added silently with a filthy look in Alf’s direction.
She needed Millie’s torch as she tramped the streets from the canal to Victoria Park. Now and then she met one of the neighbours or a gaggle of men from the pub or the market, all out looking too. Word had soon spread around the local area and everyone had taken to the streets to find Josie Doyle.
And they would find her. Dora wouldn’t allow herself to think anything different. Although the image of Josie’s red coat floating in the dark water of the canal still haunted her.
How many times had she stood on that canal bank and thought about ending it all herself, when she didn’t think she could stand another day of Alf’s abuse? She only prayed Josie hadn’t got that desperate yet.
But it became harder and harder to stay optimistic as the hours went by and the dark streets began to empty. By midnight, even the most intrepid searchers were heading home to snatch a few hours’ sleep before going out again at dawn.
Except one. Down on the waste ground behind the railway line, Dora spotted a solitary figure emerging from one of the disused railway sheds, silhouetted in the moonlight.
‘Nick?’ She called out to him and he came to her, picking his way over the rubbish-strewn ground.
‘What are you doing here? Why aren’t you back at the hospital—’ The silvery moonlight caught the look of panic in his face. ‘Josie’s not . . .?’
Dora shook her head. ‘She’s not been found yet. But I couldn’t just sit around and do nothing. Not while our Josie’s out there on her own—’ she broke off, her voice catching.
‘I thought she might be hiding out down here.’ She was grateful that Nick pretended not to notice her trembling lip. ‘It’s where I always used to come when I wanted to get away from my old man.’
Dora looked up at his haggard face, etched with exhaustion. ‘You must be dead on your feet,’ she said. ‘Why didn’t you pack up and go home with the others?’
‘I promised you I’d find her, didn’t I?’
His eyes met hers in the moonlight. For a moment neither of them spoke. Somewhere in the distance, a train rumbled past, making the ground tremble beneath their feet.
‘We’ll look together.’ She pulled away from him, breaking the spell.
Even Millie’s torch was no match for the darkness as the moon became shrouded in cloud. Dora tripped and stumbled over the uneven ground, and Nick put out a hand to steady her. After a while it was easier for her to go on holding on to his arm. His presence beside her made her feel safe.
But knowing that her sister had no one to hold on to made her feel even worse.
‘She’ll be so frightened.’ She spoke her thoughts aloud. ‘She never liked the dark. I used to tease her all the time about ghosts and bogey men who wandered around the streets after dark, lying in wait for kids . . .’ She put her hand over her mouth to stifle her sob of despair.
‘Shh.’ Nick’s arm came around her shoulders, pulling her into the reassuring, solid warmth of his body. As she leaned against him she could feel the steady beat of his heart against her cheek. ‘You’re tired, you should go home.’
‘I’m not going anywhere until we find Josie.’
She felt the rise and fall of his chest as he let out a sigh. ‘At least let me walk you back to Griffin Street,’ he said. ‘You never know, there might be some news.’
There was. As they turned the corner, Dora recognised the black bicycle leaning up against the wall outside their house.
‘The police are here!’ She pulled away from Nick and started to run, tripping and stumbling over the cobbles in the darkness.
They all turned to face her as she crashed into the kitchen. Including the policeman who stood in the centre of the room, towering over everyone in his helmet, his short dark cape thrown around his shoulders.
But there was no sign of her sister.
All the terror and anxiety she’d been holding back crashed over her like a great tidal wave. She felt her legs buckle and would have sunk to the ground if Nick hadn’t been there to hold her up.
Her mother came forward, tears shining in her eyes. ‘It’s all right,’ she whispered, hugging Dora. ‘They’ve found her. She’s safe.’
‘But I don’t understand. Where is she . . .?’
‘She’s ended up at your Auntie Brenda’s,’ her mum explained. ‘Can you believe she walked all the way to Loughton?’
‘And now the cheeky little so-and-so is putting her foot down and says she won’t come home.’ Nanna Winnie folded her arms across her chest. ‘If that don’t beat everything, after what she’s put us all through. I’ll have a few words to say to her when she gets back here, I can tell you. Spoiling our Jubilee Day, and making us all ill with worry—’ But beneath her angry bluster Dora could see the relief on her grandmother’s face.
‘Stop it, Mum. It’s enough that she’s safe.’ Rose Doyle released Dora and turned to the policeman. ‘Thank you, Constable, for letting us know,’ she said stiffly, remembering her manners. ‘We’re very grateful, we really are.’
‘I’m just glad I could bring you a bit of good news.’ He glanced around at them, touched his helmet and then let himself out of the back door.
‘I wonder why she went all the way to Loughton?’ Rose said, when he’d gone. ‘It’s a mystery to me, it really is.’
‘It’s a mystery to me why she don’t want to come back,’ Nanna put in.
Dora glanced at Alf. It was no mystery to her why her sister had run away. And it wasn’t to him, either. She could see it written all over his face. It was all she could do not to grab the poker and smash him with it.
‘We’ll see about that,’ he said. ‘First thing tomorrow I’m going down to Loughton to fetch her. I’ll bring her home, don’t you worry, love,’ he reassured his wife. ‘Even if I have to drag her all the way—’
‘No!’ Dora hadn’t realised she’d shouted it out until she saw the looks of surprise on everyone’s faces as they stared at her.
‘Why don’t you let her stay with Auntie Brenda for a while?’ she reasoned, forcing herself to calm down. ‘Give her time to sort herself out a bit? Maybe you could take the kids over to Loughton and visit for a few days,’ she said to her mother. ‘You could have a proper chat with her, find out what’s wrong.’
‘I know what’s wrong,’ Nanna Winnie grumbled. ‘She needs a good hiding, that’s what’s wrong.’
‘It might be an idea to go down there I s’pose.’ Rose turned to her husband. ‘What d’you reckon, Alf?’
‘Well—’
‘I’m sure Alf wouldn’t say no to the idea of you having a holiday?’ Dora put in quickly. ‘I reckon she deserves it, don’t you?’
She looked across the room at Alf. He was gnawing at his thumbnail, a sure sign that he was aggravated.
‘Well, I think it’s a grand idea,’ Nanna Winnie put in. ‘Our Dora’s right, you could do with a break, Rose. And you might be able to talk some sense into Josie, too. We’ll manage all right here for a few days, won’t we, Alf?’ She gave her son-in-law a toothless grin.
‘I s’pose.’ The thwarted, angry glance he shot at Dora was enough to stop anyone in their tracks, but she didn’t care. At least this way she could keep Josie safely out of his filthy hands for a while.
Behind her, Nick cleared his throat. In all the excitement she’d almost forgotten he was there. ‘I’d best be off, then,’ he mumbled.
Dora followed him out of the back door. ‘Thanks for helping to look for her,’ she said.
‘I promised you, didn’t I?’
‘All the same, it was nice of you.’
‘Nice?’ His mouth curled. ‘That’s not a word people use about me too often.’
‘Well, I think you’re nice.’
‘Do you?’ He was standing very close to her, looking down at her in the d
arkness. ‘Do you really like me, Dora?’
‘’Course I do.’
The air crackled with tension. Slowly, as if drawn by a force she couldn’t control, she turned her face up to his. She saw his eyes darken and knew he was going to kiss her. She also knew it was what she wanted more than anything in the world.
He lowered his head to meet hers, blocking out the light from the moon. But no sooner had his lips touched hers than Dora felt suffocated, overwhelmed. Memories flooded back, crashing over her like waves, drowning her. Alf Doyle pressing down on her, his kisses hard and wet and tasting of stale beer, his tongue invading her mouth until she couldn’t breathe . . .
‘No, stop! Get away from me!’ She struggled against Nick, pushing him off. He staggered back, his face blank with shock.
‘Sorry,’ he said gruffly. ‘I thought you wanted me to.’ He stepped away from her, his hands dropping to his sides. ‘I must have got the wrong idea.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Dora longed to talk to him, to explain. But the words stuck in her throat.
‘No, it’s me who’s sorry. I didn’t mean – I’d never—’ He turned away. ‘Like I said, I got the wrong idea. It won’t happen again.’
‘Nick, wait!’ she called after him, but he was already stumbling away into the darkness.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
HELEN SAT IN the front pew during Evensong, watching the dust particles dance in the beams of jewel-coloured light from the stained-glass windows, and listened to her father preaching about sin.
She didn’t dare meet his eye because she was sure he would know she was the biggest sinner of all. Because she wasn’t thinking about how God sent His only son Jesus Christ to die for her; she was wondering how soon she could get back to London to meet Charlie Denton.
She had forgotten when she’d arranged to meet Charlie that she had the whole of Sunday off, and that meant going home to visit her parents. There was no question of getting out of it; her mother would want to know why Helen couldn’t come, and ask all sorts of questions, and Helen would end up having to tell her everything because she was such a hopeless liar in the face of Constance’s merciless questioning.
It had been hard enough keeping the truth from her all day. Helen had tried to keep as busy as she could: handing out prayer books before the morning service, staying behind to tidy up the church afterwards, and running errands around the parish. Anything to prevent her from having to be alone with her mother.
She was almost too nervous to eat her lunch. She sat at the big mahogany table in the dining room opposite William, ploughing her way steadily through her roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, trying desperately not to make eye contact with anyone. And all the time her thoughts kept straying treacherously to that evening. What should she wear? Where would they go? Would Charlie even turn up? Even though he’d told her how much he was looking forward to it, she still couldn’t quite believe he really meant it.
‘What on earth are you smiling at, Helen?’
She looked up. Her mother was watching her from the other end of the table.
‘Nothing, Mother,’ she said quickly.
‘You seem rather giddy today. Are you sure you’re not sickening for something?’ Constance’s sharp features creased in a frown. ‘You are keeping regular, I hope? I wonder if perhaps you need an aperient?’
‘I’m quite well, Mother, thank you.’ Helen caught William’s eye across the table and fought to conceal a smile. Only her mother would think happiness was an ailment that needed to be treated with a laxative.
Now William sat slumped in the pew beside her, his arms folded, eyes closed. Helen nudged him sharply.
‘Eh? What? Amen.’ He woke up with a start and snatched up his prayer book as it slid off his knee. ‘Is it finished?’ he mumbled.
‘No, and you could at least pretend to listen.’ Helen frowned at him. ‘What time are you going back to London?’
‘As soon as I can decently get away – why?’
‘Can I have a lift back with you?’
‘I thought you usually caught the later train?’
‘I can’t this evening. I’m – meeting someone,’ Helen replied evasively.
‘Oh, yes?’ William’s eyebrows rose. ‘And who is this someone exactly?’
‘Shhh!’ Before she could reply, her mother shot them a silencing look.
‘Never you mind,’ Helen whispered. ‘Now can I have a lift or can’t I?’
William nodded. ‘Bessie and I will be glad of your company. Especially if I have to push her all the way up Richmond Hill like last time. Let’s try and make ourselves scarce straight after the service, shall we?’
But no such luck. After Evensong, they had to join their parents in greeting the congregation as they filed out of the church.
Helen knew this was the part her mother enjoyed the most, dispensing goodwill to the parishioners who deserved it, and judgment on those who didn’t. Very few escaped Constance Tremayne’s sharp eye and even sharper tongue.
‘Ah, Mrs Ellis, how lovely to see you.’ She picked out a harassed-looking, middle-aged woman who was trying to shuffle past, avoiding her eye. ‘How are you? And how is young Margaret enjoying married life? Such a pity she couldn’t get married in church, but I suppose register offices are quick if nothing else. And under the circumstances speed was rather of the essence, wasn’t it?’ Constance’s voice dripped with sympathy and concern, oblivious to the other woman’s blushing face. ‘Hopefully once the baby is born we can look forward to arranging a christening?’
As the woman darted off, flustered, Constance turned to Helen. ‘Her daughter is a fast piece. Got herself pregnant by a park keeper, can you believe?’
‘At least he married her,’ Helen said mildly, then flinched as her mother pounced on her remark.
‘And that makes it acceptable, does it? Not in my book it doesn’t. And not in the Lord’s book either. A sin is a sin, Helen, no matter how it’s dressed up afterwards. And now that girl’s poor mother can’t hold her head up in her own church any more.’ She fixed Helen with such a look, she felt herself wilting with shame. It was all she could do not to fall on her knees and confess her own sin there and then.
Finally she and William managed to get away, and headed back towards London.
‘Who is he then?’ her brother asked as soon as they’d pulled out of the sweeping drive of the vicarage.
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Helen said primly.
‘Oh, come on, Hels. You’ve been either as nervous as a cat or grinning like an idiot all day. And I saw the way you blushed when Mother started talking about Mrs Ellis’ fast daughter. So who is he? Do I know him?’ The colour drained from William’s face. ‘Please don’t tell me it’s a medical student? I’m not having my sister being led astray by one of those scoundrels.’
Helen laughed. ‘No, it isn’t a doctor or a medical student, so you needn’t worry about protecting my honour. His name’s Charlie.’ Even saying it made her smile.
‘Charlie, eh? And what does he do, this Charlie?’
‘He used to work in a factory. But now he’s just started at his uncle’s joinery business.’ She explained about Charlie’s accident, and how they’d met.
‘I can see why you didn’t want Mother to know about this new boyfriend of yours,’ William said, his eyes fixed on the road. ‘I don’t think she’d approve at all.’
‘You won’t tell her, will you?’ Helen pleaded. ‘I mean, he’s not even my boyfriend. It’s only one date. He probably won’t want to see me again after tonight. I just wanted to know what it was like – you know, to go out with someone.’
‘Don’t worry, Sis, your secret’s safe with me. God knows, you’ve kept enough of mine over the years.’ William reached out and patted her knee. ‘Anyway, who’s to say it’s just one night? You never know, this could be the beginning of a beautiful romance.’
‘I doubt it!’ Helen said ruefully. But at the same time, she couldn’t help wi
shing that were true.
They made good progress towards the city, and Helen stopped looking at her watch. But just as they reached the outskirts of Putney, the car began to slow ominously.
‘Come on, Bessie,’ William urged. ‘Come on, old girl. Don’t let me down now.’
Don’t let me down either, Helen prayed silently. But God had obviously decided to pay her back for daydreaming in church, because Bessie began to make an ominous grinding sound.
‘I’d better take a look,’ William said, pulling over to the side of the road.
Helen sat on the grass verge and watched as he examined the car.
‘It’s not as bad as I thought,’ he said. ‘We’ve got a puncture.’
‘And that’s not bad news?’ Helen asked.
‘No, because I can fix it. All we need to do is change the wheel.’
‘Is that all?’ Helen gave a hollow laugh.
‘I’ll have it done in a jiffy.’ William stripped down to his shirtsleeves. ‘Even less if you help me?’
Helen got wearily to her feet. ‘I might as well, I suppose. What do I have to do?’
She helped him jack the car up and unscrew the nuts holding the wheel in place. But anxiety made her all thumbs.
‘If you’re going to keep dropping everything this is going to take even longer,’ William snapped, as she dived to retrieve a nut that had rolled under the car. ‘Calm down, I’m sure your young man will wait for you.’
‘What if he doesn’t?’ Helen was already convinced Charlie was going to stand her up.
‘Hels, he’s been waiting for you for three months. Another ten minutes isn’t going to make any difference. On second thoughts, make that half an hour,’ he sighed, as Helen dropped another wheel nut.
As she helped him lift the heavy wheel into place and held it steady, she said, ‘How do you know if someone likes you?’
William grinned. ‘Are you asking me for advice? That’s a novelty.’
‘I won’t ask if you’re going to make fun of me.’
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