by L. Langdon
Gerri shook her head stubbornly. “I’m not losing this bucket. It caused all of this trouble in the first place.”
Sven had to smile at her stubbornness, if not her good sense. He grabbed the bucket with his other hand and threw it behind him on the deck. Then he lifted Gerri aboard.
“You’re strong,” she said groggily.
Sven took her in his arms and squeezed. “I’m so pumped up, that I could probably lift the boat. Oh Gerri, I was so scared.”
She laughed weakly. “You were scared…” A spasm of shivering wracked her body.
He carried her quickly inside, trying to figure out what to do. He couldn’t ignore the storm—he had to give his attention to navigating the boat around the point and into the safe anchorage. Meanwhile, the stove still wasn’t working and it was cold even inside the cabin. It would be even colder down in the fo’c’s’le. He paused to adjust the boat’s heading quickly and carried Gerri to his room.
“You need to get out of those clothes. I’ll put a T-shirt on the bed. Can you change and bunk in here? It’ll be warmer than your bunk down below.”
“I’ll try.” He could hardly hear her.
“I have to get back to the pilot house. I’ll check on you as soon as I can.”
This time she just nodded.
___
Sven didn’t know how he managed to get the boat to the anchorage. Navigating in the storm demanded his full attention, but his thoughts were on Gerri. Was she all right? Would his rather thin blanket be enough to restore her body heat? Was she still in danger?
As soon as the boat was anchored safely out of the storm, he raced back to his cabin. He opened the door cautiously, worried that Gerri might still be undressing, but she was in the bed. The blanket was pulled up so that only her face was showing. He knelt on the floor beside her. “Are you all right? Can I get you anything?”
Her response was so weak that he could barely hear. “Cold.”
Sven, like most Alaskan outdoorsmen, had more than a little acquaintance with hypothermia. He laid his hand against her forehead. She felt scarily cold. But that’s not under the blanket, he thought hopefully. He snaked his hand beneath the blanket. She had her arms folded tightly around her chest and her back and arms didn’t feel any warmer. He was starting to get scared again. Time was important here. He jumped to his feet. “I’ll be right back.”
He hurried to the galley and quickly assessed the stove. His heart sank. The crashing noise that he had heard earlier when turning the boat apparently had been his tools as well as the loose parts of the stove. He glanced around hastily, but realized that he was kidding himself: Fixing the stove would not be quick. He had only one idea left.
“Gerri,” he said, stripping his clothes off as he spoke, “I’m going to lie down with you to try to warm you up.” Incongruously, he worried that she would misinterpret his motives, but she barely seemed to react. Probably just a reflection of his own thoughts, he realized. But there was no need to worry—he was firmly focused on saving Gerri’s life. Maybe later—much later—he would sigh over the silken feel of her skin. But not now.
He slid in behind her on the small bunk and spooned with her, trying for the greatest area of contact between them. He alternated between holding her tightly to him and rubbing her arms to generate friction. Occasionally, he moved an arm down and rubbed her hip and thigh, but that severely tested his resolve to behave impeccably—he quickly realized that she was wearing nothing besides his T-shirt.
After what seemed like a very long time, Gerri’s shivering lessened and her breathing became more relaxed. Sven didn’t stop stroking and holding her, though. He didn’t want to take any chances with her recovery. And, in any case, sleep eluded him for most of the night.
Chapter 21
Gerri woke gradually and felt as if she was in a different world. All signs of the storm were gone. The sun was peeking through the window and the sea was calm. She could hear the faint cry of some seagulls in the distance, but otherwise, all was quiet.
She could remember the horrific events of the previous night, but to her faint surprise, the memory had remoteness—as if it had happened to someone else. Instead, Gerri felt warm and secure. Without moving, she eyed Sven’s arm which was still draped over her. He looked powerful even in repose. She took an intense satisfaction at his slumberous embrace. She almost wriggled with pleasure, but she didn’t want to wake him yet.
Would he be angry? Surely she deserved it. Going out to get the bucket without telling him—and leaving the helm to do so—was irresponsible. She could see that now. If he hadn’t somehow sensed that something was wrong… How did he do that so quickly? And if he hadn’t seen her in the water… But he had seen her. Maybe my bucket mirror worked. And he had rescued her. For the second time, he had rescued her. She smiled. My hero! That sounded trite, but it was true. Right now, there was nowhere else she wanted to be but in Sven’s arms.
But after a few more minutes, Gerri got restless. Sven had provided comfort and warmth all night, but now she wanted more. She wanted to continue from where the glacier kiss had left off. Gerri thought about where she was and what that meant. But she didn’t hesitate. She didn’t pretend to be experienced in the ways of sex, but she was utterly sure. This was the right time. And this was the right man. She squirmed around from the spooning position so that she could embrace him properly.
Sven lay in bed in a pleasantly lethargic state. He was in no hurry to get up. It had been the wee hours of the morning before he had been confident enough about Gerri’s recovery to allow himself the luxury of sleep. Now, however, she felt warm and her breathing was normal.
In fact, she felt wonderful. He would have been in a state of bliss about her relaxing in his arms, except for one little problem. Well, not so little—that was the problem. His morning erection—normally unobtrusive and quick to disappear when he got up—was magnified a hundredfold by Gerri’s presence. He had kept a slight distance between their lower bodies to avoid offending her. And he was prepared to get up quickly when she awakened, but he hoped to put that off for a while. It simply felt too good to lie here embracing her.
Suddenly the status quo was upset. Gerri started moving and turning in his arms. He tried to make his arms unwind, but she quickly put her arms around him and held him close. She was indeed strong, he thought in passing. And he was weak. She made him weak.
She smiled shyly. “Good morning, my hero.”
Some remote corner of Sven’s brain wanted him to be a gentleman, but his body rebelled against the very idea. The least he could do was to pretend some kind of normalcy. “Good morning. How do you feel?”
“I feel wonderful, thank you.” She wriggled against him.
Sven groaned. She felt wonderful, all right. In a minute, his state would be obvious, but he didn’t have the will to disengage. ‘Consenting adults,’ he told himself and shoved the ‘gentleman’ instinct out of his head. He looked her in her beautiful eyes as his lips brushed hers.
Gerri’s smile transformed from shyness to satisfaction. She had been right. Sven wanted her as much as she wanted him. She would worry about the outside world later—everything she wanted now was right here. The kiss turned hungry as she ground against him.
Sven growled in inarticulate pleasure as he probed her lips with his tongue. Gerri opened her mouth to receive it, meeting it with her own in a dancing duel. She shivered as Sven’s hands stroked her back and moved to her sides. He moved his caresses slowly up her sides under her shirt until he was able to tease her nipples lightly with his thumbs.
Suddenly, he became impatient. Abruptly, he grabbed her shirt and started to tug it over her head. There was a ripping sound. “Damn,” he said, hoping that Gerri wouldn’t be put off by his eagerness. She just giggled as he settled for rucking the shirt up under her arms
Gerri had a fleeting thought: as bad as she had felt last night, she was now glad that she had not had the strength to put on more than the borrowed shirt. Which led her to anoth
er thought: she could clearly feel Sven’s arousal, but it was constrained by his shorts. That would not do. She tried to grab them by the waistband and remove them, but, made clumsy by the continuing distraction of his hands, she could not remove them.
Sven was lost in his own tsunami of sensation. Gerri felt as good as his illicit imagination had predicted. Her breasts were a nice handful. Not pendulous pillows like Laura’s, but firm and—in his opinion—in perfect proportion, just like the rest of her. He broke the kiss and buried his face in her neck. She even smelled good—faintly of salt from her inadvertent swim combined with the pleasant smell that could only be described ‘Gerri-esque.’
His blissful exploration of her body was interrupted by her grunt of annoyance. She was trying to pull his underwear off with no success. He was immensely flattered, but couldn’t help but chuckle.
She looked at him with mock severity and complained, “It’s not fair. You have more clothes on than I do.” Then she giggled at her boldness.
He grinned back. “You modern women are such a caution.”
That earned him a blow in the shoulder with the heel of her hand and another giggle. “I’ll caution you, mister.”
“Allow me, please.” He shifted his weight and slipped his shorts off. He considered stripping both of them completely, but his hunger was matched by that in her eyes—he couldn’t wait any longer. Slowly—almost reverently—he put his lips to work on her left nipple and slipped one of his hands down to stroke the moistness between her thighs.
Gerri didn’t claim to be an expert at this, but she wondered: was it supposed to feel this good before he was actually inside of her? She could feel the sensations spiraling out of control. Was there such a thing as premature ejaculation for women? The question became moot as she shattered, making a noise between a moan and a scream of primal satisfaction.
She hardly stopped for breath. Deciding that she didn’t want to take a chance on disappointing him, she rolled onto her back, pulling Sven with her. “Please,” she said, “Let’s do it now.”
Sven had never felt this out-of-control. And Gerri was already moist and ready. Finesse could wait for another time. He slotted himself and pushed.
There was a momentary resistance and a sharp intake of breath from Gerri. Before he could think about the implications of this, Gerri gyrated her hips and made an impatient noise. Rational thought was beyond him.
Gerri felt the momentary pain, but it wasn’t as bad as she had been led to believe and it soon dissipated and she instinctively moved with Sven as he stroked powerfully into her.
In what seemed like only a minute, she felt another rising wave of tension and excitement. This was made more intense by Sven’s ragged breathing. She was completely attuned to his body—she felt him tense up and jerk inside of her. That pushed her over some cliff, and she found herself in another orgasm, even stronger than the first.
She knew that before long, she would be analyzing this whole experience in her mind, but now all she could think of was catching her breath. Sven rolled off of her with a grunt and lay by her side with one arm partly splayed over her and the other folded over his head.
She turned toward him and brushed her hand across his chest. She wasn’t sure what to say, but… If sex is always this good… Wow!
Sven groaned, “Gerri, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.” He shook his head.
Gerri’s smile froze. Please, please, don’t let him be disappointed. “Well, I’m not sorry,” she ventured. Working up her courage, she asked, “Was it not good? I mean…”
He snorted. “It was fantastic. If it had been any better, I probably would have had a heart attack. But I didn’t think about the consequences. I didn’t mean to put you at risk; I shouldn’t have just bulled ahead.”
Sven cursed himself silently. Have I learned nothing since high school? He had already screwed up Laura’s life—and his own—by recklessly getting her pregnant. He couldn’t bear it if he did this to Gerri as well. Which was ironic, since he found it easy—frighteningly and excitedly easy—to imagine doing the right thing by Gerri. A marriage to Gerri, even if it was forced by pregnancy, was much more pleasant to contemplate than his marriage to Laura.
But that was easy for him to say. Gerri’s plans for her life certainly didn’t include getting knocked up by someone that she’d probably never see after this summer. And the fact that she was a virgin knocked him for a loop. Bottom line: he had wanted her so badly that he never stopped to consider what he was doing. To make it worse, she was in an emotionally vulnerable state after her close call last night. Had she not been so, this would probably never have happened. Or if he’d given her time to think…
Gerri had no idea how to respond. He said that he enjoyed it; is it the idea of commitment that worries him? She wanted to defuse that—if Sven became uncomfortable around her she would be devastated. She forced herself to smile and answer lightheartedly.
“Don’t worry about consequences. I don’t expect any. Sven, don’t you understand?” She looked at him beseechingly, “You’re part of my adventure.”
Sven was struck dumb—first by utter surprise, and then by the ridiculous irony of the situation. Commitment-free sex was supposed to be a male fantasy, not a female one. The women’s libbers would probably find this to be a delightful turnabout. He would not have guessed that Gerri would be into casual sex, but maybe he didn’t know her as well as he hoped he did.
Still, it hurt. He couldn’t hide from it now—Gerri meant a lot to him. And some part of him had hoped that she felt the same way about him. But it was her choice. From what he had read about women’s lib, they had some legitimate points. He couldn’t demand that she care for him. She hadn’t promised him anything. If he complained now, he would just spoil what little there was of their relationship. Disappointment or no, he couldn’t stand to do that.
Then, there was the elephant in the room. The thing that she apparently hadn’t considered. “I had no idea that you were a virgin. I didn’t use any protection. What if you get pregnant?”
She made a dismissive gesture. “Don’t worry about that. I’m on the pill.”
“A virgin on the pill?”
Gerri agonized. She had no desire to explain her gullibility with respect to Thurman. “It’s complicated.”
Sven shook his head. “Never mind. It’s none of my business.” It was time to salvage whatever he could of their affectionate relationship. Never mind that for him, it had become more than that. He’d deal with that later when Gerri had gone back home.
He swallowed his disappointment and pasted on what he hoped was a carefree smile. “I’m honored to be part of your adventure. And I meant it when I said that this morning was wonderful.”
___
Breakfast was almost nonexistent; only a few leftovers that they ate while steaming out to the fishing grounds. They stood in the pilot house eating, Sven at the wheel and Gerri watching the shore. Gerri tried to think of some way of bringing up the subject of their lovemaking—or maybe she didn’t dare call it that. The subject of their sex might be more honest. Regardless of his supportive words, Sven had seemed utterly dismayed by what had happened.
Failing to come up with a graceful segue into that subject, she made some inconsequential remarks, but Sven didn’t seem interested in responding. She looked at him, trying to read his expression. He caught her looking and stared back for a few seconds before smiling at her.
“A penny for your thoughts,” he said. Sven was highly conscious of the fact that they had to talk about Gerri’s accident and how to avoid a recurrence. Sven didn’t want to be the one to bring it up—the last thing that he wanted was to scold her. She’d been through enough. And he didn’t want to slide out of the partner role into the teacher/boss role.
Gerri sighed. “I was just thinking about last night,” she lied. “I was pretty stupid. I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to fire me.”
Sven shook his head vigorously. “No, not at all. Everybody
makes mistakes. Yours was a serious one, but you make fewer than most. I mean that. I would like you to tell me what happened, though.”
Gerri summarized the events surrounding her fall overboard. She repeated the reasoning she had used to convince herself that she could grab the bucket safely, but she did not spare herself. The only thing she left out was her daydream about how Sven would be proud of her planning—if he was already nervous about commitment, letting him realize that she had a schoolgirl crush on him would only make him more uncomfortable.
When she finished, Sven didn’t say anything for a long time. His eyes were scanning the water around them, and Gerri knew from experience that, even while concentrating on another subject, he was constantly evaluating likely fishing spots. She admired that ability—it was one of those things that made him a highliner. But right now, she wanted to shake him. She needed to hear something, even though she knew that it would be scathing.
Sven finally nodded. “OK,” he said tentatively. Gerri let out the breath that she had been holding. “I can understand what you were thinking.” She knew that there was a ‘but’ coming and waited anxiously. “And once you were in the water, grabbing onto that bucket was a good idea. Using it for a mirror was an even better idea. I don’t honestly know if I would have thought of that.”
Gerri opened her mouth to hurry him along—she wanted him to get to the bad part that she knew was coming. He shook his head imperceptibly and raised a finger to quiet her.
“Your first mistake was assuming that I couldn’t be interrupted. Your second one—perhaps more fundamental—was not being sufficiently paranoid. I don’t mean to be melodramatic, but the sea has a lot of ways to surprise you—and a lot of ways to kill you. Always think about what could go wrong.”
Gerri nodded, relieved that Sven hadn’t been as critical as she feared. “I get it. Anticipate the risks, so that you can eliminate them.”
Sven rocked his head from side to side. “That’s the idea, but you’ll never eliminate them entirely. Let me tell you a story.