by Gina Wilkins
Chapter Eight
“You look so well rested! That time off was good for you.”
It was at least the fifth time that day Meagan had heard those words, making her wonder just how tired she had looked prior to her emergency surgery. She smiled briefly at the speaker, one of the partners in the surgical practice, as they gathered in a conference room for the first of the two Monday afternoon meetings she was scheduled to attend. “Thanks, Lee. I’m feeling great. Glad to be back at work.”
“How are you doing? Holding up okay?”
“Of course. Hitting on all cylinders.” She wouldn’t have admitted otherwise, of course. She had her pride, after all. And Lee was one of those guys who was inclined to think men were slightly better suited to surgery than women, unless it was gynecological surgery.
“Glad to hear it. Let me know if you need anything, you hear?”
“Absolutely. Thanks.”
She wouldn’t be asking for help, of course. She really was getting along fine. Maybe a little more tired than she normally would be at this point in the day, but she could ignore that. She suspected she would sleep well that night, tired and satisfied that she’d accomplished something worthwhile again.
It was nice to be back among her colleagues. Her partners, her secretary, the nurses and techs. The weary residents and nervous medical students. The bustling hospital staff. It was good to see patients, to offer advice and reassurance, hope where possible and comfort when hope was slim. Her fingers were already itching to hold a scalpel again, to scrub up for battle in the operating room.
She’d known when she selected to go into surgery as opposed to some other specialty that her hours would be long, almost never less than fifty hours a week and usually a bit more. But she still believed she’d made the right choice. She loved her work, and couldn’t imagine doing anything else. It felt so good to be back.
She ran into Stephen Easton a couple of times during the day. Though they were more acquaintances than true friends, he welcomed her back warmly and told her he was glad she had recovered so well. She thanked him politely without mentioning the gossip about him she’d now heard from several sources. It seemed that all their associates were as shocked and surprised as Meagan had been about Stephen’s split with Danielle.
She had intended to be back home early that evening but one thing led to another, one meeting to the next. She had dinner with two of her partners, then spent a couple hours in her office catching up on files and notes and making a loose schedule for the rest of the week. Beginning at six-thirty the next morning, she had patients to see, surgeries to perform, residents to teach…in other words, her work life was resuming right where it had left off.
So why did she feel as though something had changed?
Dark was settling over her street when she drove toward her house that evening. Lights burned in the windows of her neighbors’ homes. Glancing toward Seth’s house as she braked for her driveway, she saw the lights on there, too. She wondered how Jacqui’s first day on the job had worked out. Had she been on time to pick up Alice at school, and had they bonded over snacks afterward? Had Jacqui made a good dinner for Seth and Alice?
She pictured father and daughter chatting about their day over the shared meal. What were they doing now? Watching a television program together, perhaps? Or was Alice bent over homework while Seth worked on a brief or a report or whatever attorneys did at home after hours? Maybe they were outside playing with Waldo or sitting in the kitchen indulging in a sweet before Alice’s bedtime.
Her own house was dark when she walked into the kitchen. Very quiet. She flipped on the overhead lights, reminding herself to reset timers so there would be a few lights burning when she returned home tomorrow night. She didn’t mind living alone, she assured herself, but she’d never liked coming home to a completely dark and empty house.
Pushing aside a mental image of a father and daughter laughing together over cookies or ice cream, she opened the fridge and drew out a small, single-serve container of fat-free yogurt. Maybe the strange feeling of hollowness inside her signaled nothing more than hunger. She couldn’t imagine what else it could be, considering how satisfied she was with the life she had chosen.
Seth called Wednesday evening. It was the first time she’d heard from him since Sunday, when he’d called for a few minutes to let her know Alice was home safely from her grandparents and to wish her luck with her first day back at work.
It was past nine, and she’d been home only twenty minutes or so. She was tired, but in a good way, feeling as though she’d accomplished a great deal that day.
“How’s it going?” Seth asked after they’d exchanged greetings. “Back in the swing of things yet?”
“Definitely.” She kicked off her shoes and tucked her feet beneath her on the couch. Hearing his voice in her ear reminded her of the last time she’d been with him on this very couch, which made her heart trip a bit. She tried to concentrate on the conversation. “Three surgeries today, all very successful, in addition to rounds, patient visits, a couple of consults, and a quick dinner with my brother in the hospital cafeteria.”
“Sounds like a busy day.”
“No more than usual.”
“I waited until I saw your lights on before calling. Do you usually get home so late?”
“Sometimes earlier, sometimes later. Just depends on my schedule.”
“What time do you leave in the mornings?”
“I’m usually at the hospital by six-thirty.”
“Long days.”
“I work fifty, sometimes sixty hours a week. The surgeon’s life,” she said. Though she kept her tone light, she was being candid. Seth should know exactly what her schedule was like.
If he was dismayed, he kept it out of his voice. “I understand. I probably put in that many hours, myself, though I have the luxury of doing some of my work while I’m at home with Alice.”
“I do some paperwork at home, but it would be hard to operate in my living room.”
He chuckled. “I guess it would be.”
Okay, something was coming through in his tone, she decided. His laugh had sounded just a little stilted, his humor a bit forced. Had her hours taken him aback that much, or was she simply imagining those things?
“How are things going over there?” she asked by way of distraction. “How’s Alice?”
“She’s doing well. Next week’s her last week of school, so she’s started studying for final exams.”
“And Jacqui? How’s she doing?”
“So far, so good. She’s a cleaning demon, and a very good cook, though different than Nina. Nina cooked a lot of southwestern dishes, Jacqui’s cooking has more of a Mediterranean flavor. Really good, though.”
“That’s great. She and Alice are still getting along well?”
“So far. They’re starting knitting lessons as soon as school is out. Apparently, Jacqui is quite the professional knitter.”
“She mentioned that when I interviewed her.”
“She’s a real stickler for schedules, too. She and Alice made out a schedule together for the next two weeks. Snack time, study time, piano practice time, Waldo time. She said they’ll make up a new schedule for summer days after school’s out.”
“How does Alice feel about that?”
“She’s not complaining, but the novelty hasn’t worn off yet. We’ll just have to see how it all works out.”
“Tell her I said hello, will you? Both of them, actually.”
“I will. So, I’ll, um—I’ll talk to you later, then.”
“It’s always nice to hear from you,” she assured him, in case there was any doubt.
She couldn’t read his tone when he said, “Good night, Meagan. Get some rest.”
“I will. You, t—”
But Seth had already hung up.
As she set her phone aside, she felt as though he’d disconnected in more ways than just a phone call. She had noted that he’d made no attempt to arrange
another outing with her.
She pushed a hand through her hair. Suddenly she felt much more weary than she had before she’d spoken with Seth.
“I wish we could see Meagan again. Why can’t we ask her over for dinner tonight or something?”
Alice’s tone made Seth grimace. He recognized that one. She was gearing up for a quarrel, mentally prepared to counter anything he might say.
He had barely gotten in the door Friday evening after work, having walked into the kitchen only a few minutes earlier. He’d thought Alice would be pleased that he’d gotten away from the office a little early, especially since he’d had to work a couple hours late the night before, but her thoughts were on the neighbor she hadn’t seen for a week.
He glanced at Jacqui, who was grating parmesan cheese over a pasta, artichoke and caper dish. The scents emanating from the oven were mouthwatering, making him remember he’d had time only for a half a sandwich at lunch. But before he could wash up for dinner, he supposed he had to deal with Alice’s mood.
“We can’t ask Meagan to dinner because she isn’t even home,” he said. “I just passed her house.”
It wasn’t even six-thirty yet; Meagan could be another two hours or so getting home, from what he’d observed so far that week. Not that he’d been watching her house or anything. He’d simply been trying to get an idea of her schedule.
What he had seen had not been encouraging. Nor was the disappointment on Alice’s face now.
“Maybe you could call her and see if she’s going to be home soon?” she asked hopefully. “I bet she’s hungry. She’ll probably be too tired to cook for herself tonight. And she hasn’t even had a chance to taste Jacqui’s cooking yet. I know she’ll like it.”
“Thank you, Alice,” Jacqui murmured, wiping down the countertops without looking around.
Seth shook his head. “I’m not calling her before she gets home. For all we know, she could be operating on someone. Or in an important meeting. I’m not interrupting her.”
“But—”
“Alice.” He leveled a look at her, the one that told her the conversation was over.
Fortunately, that look still worked on her. She sighed, bit her lip, and shrugged. “All right. Fine. I’ll go wash up.”
“Good idea.”
Alone in the kitchen with Jacqui, he shook his head. “She’s a good kid, on the whole, but when she gets an idea in her head she’s like a dog with a bone. She’s not letting go.”
“I noticed.” Wringing out her cloth, Jacqui draped it over the back of the sink to dry. “She wanted me to call Dr. Baker earlier and extend an invitation for dinner. I told her that doctors—surgeons—are very important people and can’t be disturbed when they’re at work, but I’m not sure she understands.”
“I’ll talk to her again later. She shouldn’t be trying to wheedle you into doing things for her.”
“I can handle it.”
“I’m sure you can.”
Jacqui went into the laundry room to collect the oversized knitting bag she brought with her every day. Her car keys dangled from her hand. “You need anything else before I head out?”
“No, we’re good here. You’re always welcome to join us for dinner, you know.” He had made it clear from the beginning that she would be treated more as family than help. While she seemed to appreciate the distinction, she had yet to join them for a meal.
She shook her head. “Thanks, but I have plans.”
“Then don’t let me keep you.”
Funny little thing, he thought after she left. Efficient and self-possessed at one moment, oddly shy at the next. She’d fit into the routine easily enough, though the dynamics were different with her than they had been with Nina. Nina had been motherly, nurturing, sometimes a little meddle-some. Jacqui was more behind-the-scenes, running the household quietly and smoothly, polite but not too familiar. He wouldn’t be at all surprised to learn that she’d studied and imitated the behavior of TV butlers.
It was strange how he knew so much about her work history, yet not a lot about her personally. He guessed that wasn’t important as long as she did her job well. And he’d only known her a week. She’d probably open up more with time.
“I guess I’m ready to eat,” Alice said, rejoining him. “I just looked out the window and I don’t think Meagan’s home yet,” she added.
“I just told you she wasn’t.”
“But she might have come home since.”
“Let’s just enjoy our dinner together, okay? Since when do we need anyone else to keep us entertained?”
“I like having dinner with you, Dad,” she assured him earnestly, looking suddenly concerned that she might have hurt his feelings. “It’s not like we need anyone else. I just miss Meagan, is all.”
He tugged fondly at one of her curls, smiling down at her with a cheerfulness he didn’t quite feel. This, he told himself, was why he’d been concerned with getting involved with another woman whose career was all-consuming. He hated seeing Alice disappointed.
“Let’s eat,” he said. “After dinner we’ll go out and play with Waldo for a while, if you want, and then maybe watch some TV or play a game or something. Since we’ve both got a free evening.”
Her face brightened. “That sounds like a great evening. I’ll pour our drinks. You want iced tea?”
“Of course.” He was relieved he’d been able to put a smile back on her face.
He hadn’t wanted to admit to her that he missed Meagan, too.
It was a busy weekend for Meagan, as her weekends usually were. She was on call Saturday, and she spent most of the day in the O.R. She had a few emergency lap appy and lap coli surgeries—the shortened reference to laparoscopic appendectomies and cholecystectomies, or removal of the gallbladder—and one splenectomy from a battered young man whose mountain bike had proved no contest to the steep ascent he had attempted.
Even without complications, she found those almost-daily procedures challenging and interesting, but they were only a portion of the operations she performed in her general surgery practice. More complicated procedures could take eight hours or more to perform, on her feet the entire time in a busy operating room, working in a narrow sterile field, surrounded by staff who were there strictly to assist her in providing care to the patient. Time passed quickly when she was focused on her work. Her days never seemed to hold as many hours as she needed to get everything accomplished.
She stayed too busy to spare much thought for Alice and Seth that day. She only wondered about them every hour or so. Only glanced at her phone four or five times to see if she’d missed a call from either of them. Only asked herself a half dozen or so times if the kisses she’d shared with Seth on her couch had been the last time she would ever be that close to him.
So what if his image was the last picture in her mind before she fell into an exhausted sleep that night? So what if he was still in her thoughts when she first awoke the next morning? So maybe she was still a little infatuated with him, but she imagined those feelings would fade with time, just like the scar from the surgery that had indirectly led to her meeting him.
She spent Sunday morning with her mother and grandmother, who was struggling with another illness, a urinary tract infection this time. Though her grandmother resisted, Meagan finally insisted she be taken to the hospital through the emergency department that afternoon. Meagan wasn’t at all comfortable with her grandmother’s vital signs. She wasn’t Meemaw’s primary care physician, she insisted. Her grandmother needed hospital care under the supervision of her very capable gerontologist.
Back at the hospital, she checked on a few of her patients while her grandmother was being admitted and evaluated. LaDonna wouldn’t leave her mother’s side, and Meagan figured she would stay the night in her mother’s room. Meagan still worried almost as much about her mother as she did her grandmother.
She stopped by the coffee shop for a take-out cappuccino for her mom and straight coffee for herself. She knew her m
om had a weakness for vanilla cappuccinos and she could probably use the little boost. An insulated cup in each hand, she entered the elevator, only to find her sister already in the car.
“Going up to Meemaw’s room?” Madison asked, reaching out to relieve Meagan of the cappuccino.
“Thanks. Yes, I thought Mom could use some liquid energy. Did she call you?”
“Yes. I was at a baby shower for one of the other residents. You know how I hate baby showers, so I said I needed to rush right over.”
Meagan smiled wryly. “I was going to call you once we got the lab reports back. I guess Mom called Mitch, too.”
“She said she was going to. Not sure what Mitch was doing today, but he’ll probably stop by when he can.”
“He will, unless he wants to risk one of Mom’s disappointed looks.”
Madison faked a shudder. “Anything but that.”
The car stopped and the only other occupant, a man holding a spray of pink roses, got off. A few people waited on the other side of the sliding doors, but they must have wanted to go down because no one else entered this car. The doors slid shut again.
“How is Meemaw, really?” Madison asked when the car began to rise again.
Meagan shrugged. “Just a UTI, I think, but in her condition…”
“I’ve been thinking. Maybe it’s time to start talking about a hospice referral. More for Mom’s sake than Meemaw’s, really.”
The focus of hospice care was to provide comfort and support for dying patients and their families. Hospice was usually called in when a person was diagnosed as terminal, with six months or less remaining to live. Their grandmother’s physician had not yet made that call, but Meagan suspected he would agree if Meagan and Madison consulted him. She thought six months was rather generous as a prognosis.
“It’s going to be tough for Mom to concede the end is getting that close,” Madison murmured as the elevator bumped to a stop again. “I’ve been trying to prepare her, but she keeps thinking one of the treatments will give Meemaw a few more good years.”