by Hannah Ross
"Oh, it will be. I am operating under unbelievable pressure. The officials want the NOAGE formula perfected, and soon. Its loss would surely bring their wrath upon me, but what does it matter? With the last store of NOAGE gone, I will soon be beyond their reach."
It took her a second to comprehend. "You'll die."
Keller nodded. "Yes. And soon. My life has been extended much beyond its natural span. Without the support of NOAGE, it will sputter out within months, maybe weeks."
Rebecca shook her head. "This is like committing suicide."
"There's no need to be so dramatic. I've lived a long life. A long, long life, beyond anything most people can imagine. I've always been a loner, but this is a different type of loneliness. All the ones I loved, all the ones I used to know are long dead. Sometimes, when I lay awake at night..." His head dropped as he sighed. "I haven't slept more than two or three hours a night for the last fifty years or so, and sometimes when I lay there awake, I hear their call. And it's getting stronger by the day. I'm starting to feel I should join them, should pluck the courage to walk ahead and peer into the great Beyond."
"You sound as if you're looking forward to it."
"I think it is a mercy of nature. As a man grows old, the ties connecting him to life loosen one by one. And I am older than any man on the face of this earth. Besides, this isn't about me. The entire future of humankind is at stake. NOAGE must be destroyed, or there will be bloodshed."
Rebeca nodded. "Alright, then. What would you have of me, professor?"
"First, your listening ear. You've already given that, and for that I am grateful. I feel a lot easier now that I have confided my thoughts to another human being. Second, your practical help. There are several objects that need to be burned, but I cannot do this here. Smoke coming out of the laboratory window would be suspicious, and I intend to keep up the appearance of business as usual for a little longer."
They got to work. Keller sat at his computer, meticulously deleting all his files using military-grade software to ensure they were overwritten seven times with random data so they could never be recovered. Rebecca walked to the paper shredder with a stack of documents in her arms. Only then did it occur to her to ask a question that should have been obvious.
"Where is Thelma?"
"She is off sick these past two days. The poor woman caught a bad sore throat, which condemned me to ordering coffee and doughnuts from the café next door. You can't imagine the amount of grease. It's just as well, though. Thelma is a good woman, but I didn't want to confide in her. Not with this. It's well known she works for me. Someone could take advantage of that."
They kept at their task. The simplicity of it – find, check, destroy – was mind-numbing. Rebecca tried not to dwell on the implications of what they were doing, but the thought of possible repercussions made her go cold with fear. Still, she went on because she knew there is no way back. She blinked back tears. In a way, it's like Benjamin's birth all those years ago. I did what was right and then I balked. Still, he lives. My son lives.
"Rebecca." Keller's sharp voice startled her out of her reverie. She turned and saw the old man striding toward her, a thick metal-bound file in his hands.
"Something else for the shredder?"
"Look." Keller flipped the file open.
Rebecca stared at a jumble of papers covered with neatly printed formulae which meant nothing to her. She looked up and shrugged.
"Some of the documents are out of order."
Fear sent shivers down her back. "Out of order?"
"Yes. The latest summary of my entire research, complete with the formulas and most recent corrections. They're backwards."
"Perhaps you…"
"No. I am blessed with excellent memory and a very meticulous research assistant. The pages were all in perfect order. This one, it was printed by Thelma only last week, for record-keeping…" He stopped, shook his head, licked his lips, and sighed, "Thelma."
Rebecca stared for a second before understanding dawned on her. "You don't think…"
"There's no knowing whom she had been in contact with or what temptations or threats she had to face." His expression grew dark. "One thing is certain, though. The secret is out."
19
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Ben stared at the headline. It was two weeks old, but it was nevertheless the first newspaper that came into his hands in more than five years. When they were little, the orphanage sometimes gave them old newspapers for coloring, and once in a while Mrs. Stocking would buy a stack of children's magazines and smuggle them in behind Madam Hart's back.
Government Officials Confess: Class B Citizens Were Sent to Work Beyond the Boundary.
Ben read the article a dozen times already, but it still made his blood boil. His conversation with Coleridge replayed in his memory.
"Don't expect them to repent their sins, Ben. They will never tell the whole truth, not even at gunpoint."
"The whole truth? These are downright lies. We have no citizenship, A or B class. And we weren't sent out here to work. We were simply dumped so that the government could forget we ever existed."
"They won't confess that. But we can hope that things will be better from now on. There will be more transparency and less falsification of documents. And most important, children won't be sent out here and expected to fend for themselves. Some families will be reunited. Perhaps there will be a little less pain and suffering in this world. That's worth something, don't you think?"
Ben was beginning to like Sidney Coleridge, as were many others. Their unexpected visitor pitched in with everything that had to be done to keep the camp running smoothly. He hunted, fished, chopped wood, and repaired things. He taught the children to read maps and tie a dozen different kinds of knots, and even helped keep an eye on babies and toddlers. He made a stew so good even Gabby, skeptical at first, was forced to approve of it. He worked in the vegetable garden, tilling, watering, and pulling weeds. And he all but took over feeding and caring for the animals. He made himself so busy he was seldom seen inside the house, except at mealtimes.
Right now he was outside, helping Elisa trim the goats' hooves. Ben could hear her voice drifting in: "Hold her tighter, Sidney. Yes, like this. Don't let her kick you. And keep away from those horns!"
"I can't believe Elisa got herself a volunteer for that job," said Mac, who was busy sanding down the plank table he made. It was long and wide and filled the hall with a fresh smell of pine. "Whenever she mentions hoof-trimming, people usually remember all sorts of important things they need to do. Not Sidney, though. Yesterday he mucked out the goat pen without even being asked."
"Ahh. That's the language of love," Gabby said, lifting her head up from the pheasant she was plucking. "Shoveling dung all day long." She rolled her eyes. "Men! They can hardly string two words together when it comes to feelings, but you can read them plain as any book."
Startled, Ben looked up from the newspaper. "Do you really think he…they…"
"Oh, come on." Gabby sounded exasperated. "Am I the only one who can sense which way the wind is blowing?" She paused as she tried to read his expression. "I'm sorry. You look all shocked. I just hope you don't feel Sidney got in your way."
"Wh-what? Uh, no. No way. We all grew up together. Tom, Elisa, and I. She's like a sister. I don't know why you would think that."
"No particular reason." Gabby shrugged. "Michael and Jen were from the same orphanage too. Didn't prevent them from ending up together." She continued plucking the bird and threw Ben a significant look. "Jen seems more cheerful these days. I'm glad of it. It's time for her to begin recovering."
Ben's discomfort was clear as he shifted in his chair. The mention of Jen did nothing to ease his mind. Quite the contrary. These days, every time he talked to Jen he felt like he was walking on thin ice. It was as if, in some way he could not quite understand, he had raised expectations he could not possibly live up to
.
Alright, yes. Michael did ask me to take care of Jen and Marleen as he was dying. And I've done my best. Everything I could. But the way she talks…surely Michael couldn't have meant I should… He shook his head. I can't even think it.
"I'm going to try a bit of fishing." He hurried to collect his fishing rod and bait and get out before she said anything else, but as the door closed behind him, he distinctly heard Gabby mutter, "Men!"
He paused outside the back door when he saw Elisa and Sidney walking out of the goat pen. Coleridge pressed a handkerchief to his brow, while Elisa looked at him with an expression of anxious sympathy.
"I'm really, really sorry," Ben heard her say. "It looks like Heather is in a very bad mood today."
"All right there?" Ben called.
"Oh, yes," Sidney said. "Just a foul-tempered goat. Nothing I can't handle."
Ben was not so sure. Blood was beginning to seep through the white cloth.
"It's a pity we don't have any ice," Elisa said. "That would reduce the swelling." She glanced up at him. "Well, at the very least you have to let me clean this up for you, Sidney. Luckily it doesn't look like you'll need stitches."
Sidney let out a chuckle. "Very lucky, as there's nobody to sew me up anyway."
Ben laughed. "Just so you know, we've had more than a few work accidents here. Elisa and Gabby have become quite good at doing stitches."
"We had no choice," Elisa said as she blushed, leading Sidney inside. Ben stayed on the doorstep, leaning against the recently patched wooden frame.
"What's the matter?" Mac called out. "Goat misbehavior?"
"Nothing serious," Elisa said. "Gabby, could you get that jar for me?"
"Sure. I've got hot water in this kettle if you need some."
"Is that iodine?" Sidney asked.
"It's my special ointment," Elisa said. "It contains some garlic extract, some wintergreen, and a few other herbs. It has excellent anti-bacterial properties."
By the look on Sidney's face, Ben could tell he would prefer some plain old iodine, but he submitted to the treatment without protest. He leaned back in his chair and allowed his wound to be cleaned and patched.
"Really, there's no need to fuss," he said while Elisa's hands were busy bandaging the wound. "It doesn't even hurt at all," he lied.
"You'd better keep yourself in one piece for the next few days, Sidney," said Mac. "You'll want to be in top shape for the horse chase. The Ravens are coming up to help us catch a few mustangs."
"Oh?" Gabby's face betrayed her surprise as her spoon hovered in mid-air. "Raven is coming to visit again?"
Everyone but Sidney knew the question was directed at Ben.
"She might," he said, thrusting his hands into his pockets.
"She said they would come," said Mac. "I'm quite looking forward to it. It's going to be a fabulous hunt."
"You don't eat horse, do you?" asked Sidney, looking horror-struck.
Mac laughed. "You'll eat anything when you're out there on your own. But no. Wild horses run in herds and are difficult to capture. Things can get dangerous pretty fast when you're facing them. There's plenty of easier game."
"We want to tame the horses, Sidney," Elisa said. "It will give us a lot more mobility and let us hunt much farther from the camp."
"Hauling wood would be a lot easier too," added Mac. "I already have a cart. Now I just need a horse to pull it."
"I don't imagine a wild horse would take kindly to something like that," Sidney said.
"The Ravens use horses quite successfully," Elisa said. "We can do it too, if we manage to capture some foals or younger horses. I know it's possible. I've had excellent success with the goats, after all."
Sidney's mouth twitched. "Yes, I can see that."
Ben's attention drifted away as his thoughts wandered to Raven's upcoming visit. Why am I afraid to tell anyone I'm looking forward to seeing her again? Could the others tell she wasn't all that excited about leaving a few weeks ago? It seemed pretty clear to me though she never said anything. It'll be nice to have her back. But then she'll have to leave again. His soft sigh went unheard. Why do I feel so weird about it? She's just a friend from another camp. Right. Just keep telling yourself that. He sighed once more. She has her own camp and your place is here. What would we do? Go back and forth? You have a responsibility to everyone here, just like she does to her people.
Later, after a lunch of Gabby's fish stew and some sour wild berries sweetened with a bit of honey, he and Sidney had another long talk.
"There's one thing I don't understand," said Ben. "While we were at the orphanage, we heard a lot of scary stories about the area outside the Boundary. How dangerous and polluted it is and everything. But in the years we've been out, we saw none of that. It's good land. Wild, of course, but good."
Sidney pursed his lips and nodded. "Well… It's a complex question, one I've often wondered about myself. I think there are several reasons. There are the pollution records, you know, but they haven't been updated in many decades and things have certainly improved. Most of the pollution concentrates along the East Coast now. Inland, things are mostly good. Then there's the threat of another war. It grows slimmer by the year, but don't forget that in some places on the other side of the ocean, people are still spilling each other's blood. The Boundary has all sorts of protection. It would be easier to defend the Urban Islands than settlements spread all over the country. And finally, I believe the folks up at the White Tower have become…fixed in their ideas. They have a rigid code of laws that fits a post-war state, but not a free, peaceful country. They're thinking of expanding the Boundary, but they won't abolish it."
"I think most people out here won't want to go back."
Sidney's head tilted. "What about you?"
"Me?" Ben shook his head. "For me it's different. At least I know who my mother is. I can find her if I want to."
"Do you? Want to, I mean."
"I'm not sure. It's been years. I know she used to want to see me, but does she still?"
Ben listened to the sound of approaching riders with a sense of mounting excitement. Soon, the small group came into view. Raven smiled as she got off her horse. "Is that a new pen? Or are you thinking of building another extension to the house?"
"We built it for the horses, though I did tell Mac if we put a roof on it, it will be good enough for people."
"Yeah." She ran her hand along the rough, fresh-smelling logs. "It's about as solid as our winter camp. You must have nearly broken your backs at it."
"Sidney spent two days in bed after we hauled the last logs," Mac said from behind. When he reached them, he went first to pet Ink on the neck. "And Enzo broke an arm while we were felling, but Gabby and Elisa managed to set the bones, and it looks like he'll make a full recovery."
Raven bit her lip in sympathy. "He must be in a lot of pain."
"Must be," said Ben, "but you know Enzo. He's the quiet type and doesn't let on much. He just said he's sorry he won't be able to go on the horse chase with us."
He walked with Raven into the new horse pen, where buckets of water and bunches of dry grass had been prepared for the animals. They were followed by Patrick, Sean, and Tanya, who all led their horses as well.
Mac closed the gate as Ink, with a loud snort, lowered her head and drank deeply from the bucket.
Ben stroked her silky neck and she rewarded him with a soft neigh. "I think she remembers me."
"Sure she does" Raven said. "Ink has a good memory. We have that in common, she and I. By the way, we have good news for you. Tell them, Sean."
"There's a herd not far from here. Just a little way southwest."
"They're probably on the move, though," said Mac.
"They are, but from what I've seen, once horses find an area they like, they stick with it for a while. We should be able to find them if we're on our way within a day or two."
Once the horses were comfortable, they locked the pen and headed into the house.
&nbs
p; "Something smells good," said Patrick.
"That would be Gabby's fish soup," said Raven. "The one you've been hoping for all the way here."
"Hi, Raven," said Gabby, smiling and untying the strings of her apron. "I saw you riding up from the window."
"Hi, Gabby." Raven smiled at Darren and Jill. "Well look at the two of you. I've only been gone a few weeks and you both look an inch taller."
"Mom, can we have lunch now that Raven's here?" asked Darren. "I'm starving."
"You're always starving."
"He's not the only one," said Sean.
The children joined the others gathered around Tanya, who made herself a general favorite during her last visit by giving them daily riding lessons and reading to them. Marleen came forward too, closely followed by her mother.
"Hello, Raven," said Jen without a smile, or the warmth shown by the others.
"Hi, Jen," Raven said, apparently oblivious to any subtle lack of friendliness.
Soon they all sat down to a very good meal. Gabby's fish soup was accompanied by bits of dried meat and fish, goat cheese, early summer berries and the first summer harvest of apricots, cherries, and plums.
"Orchard's producing nicely, I see," said Patrick as he munched cherries.
"You should see all the reserves I'm putting up," Elisa said, glowing with pride. "Enough to last through all next winter."
"We've been helping," Jill said and Mac affectionately mussed her hair.
"You know what I sometimes miss from our old life within the Boundary?" Raven said "And it's about the only thing I do miss mind you. Bread. Yes, bread. It was usually a bit stale, but once in a while we'd get a batch that was really good and fresh, and then it was heaven. It was warm and soft and had this delicious smell, and when it went down it would fill you nicer than anything else could."
"We'll have bread," said Elisa. "Not this year, but we will. I have some samples of wheat growing in the back garden, to see what works best in this area."
Raven raised an eyebrow. "Are you really ready for all that work?"
Elisa smiled. "Do you really want to have some rolls with your soup?"