by Hannah Ross
"Professor Keller?" The lump returned. "Jonathan?" She reached for his hand and when she let go, it fell limply to his side. His eyes were closed, the ancient face perfectly peaceful.
She blinked back her tears, and with a trembling hand, reached for the button next to the bed and pressed it.
Rebecca did not even attempt to sleep that night. She sat at the kitchen table as the cup of tea in front of her grew steadily cooler. Daniel sat with her for a long time, holding her hand, sympathizing, but as the time neared one in the morning, she noticed his stifled yawn.
"Go to bed, Daniel. Go on, it's alright. I'm fine."
He looked at her and she offered him a reassuring smile. "He knew it would happen," Daniel said after a long silence. "And I think he was ready for it."
"Yes, he was." She took a distracted sip of unsweetened lukewarm tea. "It's just that…" Her head shook and she fell silent for a moment. "I wonder how many people in the White Tower are going to die as well. There are people who have been relying on NOAGE for a while now. They'll be gone, and things will inevitably change. Things are probably changing already." She sighed. "Go on. Go to bed. "I'm going to sit in the living room for a while."
Close to daybreak, Rebecca's head lolled sideways as she fell into a brief slumber from which she awoke, bleary-eyed and stiff-necked, at six o'clock. She trudged into the kitchen to make coffee and cook breakfast. Seven o'clock found platters of French toast and scrambled eggs, a bowl of fruit salad, and a pot of coffee on the table. She was just squeezing an orange when Daniel came out of the bedroom in his pajamas, yawning.
"Wow," he said, surveying the impressively laden table. "I see you've been busy. Pity Kate isn't home to enjoy this. Come to think of it, she's hardly ever home lately." A crease appeared above his eyebrows. "Well, that's her loss, I guess." He sat and poured himself some tea. "This reminds me of our honeymoon. Remember that little boarding house? The landlady used to serve those delicious oatmeal-raisin muffins."
"I could step downstairs and get us a couple of muffins if you want."
"Oh, no. No, this is quite enough for just the two of us, I really…"
"No, no, I'll do it." She did not really care for muffins, but she felt it would be a relief to step out of the apartment for a bit and take some fresh air. She threw on a jacket and went out into the chilly morning.
The rays of golden sunlight were already beginning to dispel the morning mist. She crossed the road to the bakery opposite their building, inhaling the delicious early-morning smell of freshly baked buns, bread, and croissants. Five minutes later, she stepped out with a brown paper bag in her hand.
"These are good," Daniel said through a mouthful of muffin. "Not quite like those we ate back then, of course, but still…hey, Becky! I've just had an idea!" He took hold of her hand. "What about a little getaway? I think we're both in need of one. We could check if that little boarding-house still exists, book a nice room with a garden view, and just take a couple of days off. Do the simple things, you know, sleep late, take strolls around town, have fried egg sandwiches and orange juice for lunch at that little place we used to go to."
Rebecca squeezed her husband's hand and gave him a smile that was grateful and a little sad. "That's a wonderful idea, and I do hope we can do that sometime. But there's something I must do first."
"Something you must do?"
Rebecca heard the hint of suspicion in his voice. "Professor Keller taught me an important lesson. Life is finite. We only have so many days upon this earth, and we never know which one will be our last. Yet we delay and postpone, and avoid doing what is most important, what is long overdue. I must find him, Daniel."
Daniel ran a hand over his face. Suddenly, he looked very sober and very tired. "I understand. I understand. But…how would you do that? Crossing the Boundary without an official pass is illegal."
"I can obtain a pass and even without it… I don't think anyone ended up in jail for illegal crossing, Daniel. There are a couple of weirdos who regularly go back and forth, at their own risk."
"It's dangerous."
"I'll get the necessary maps and guides and stick to the less polluted areas."
"It's madness," Daniel said quietly, shaking his head. "Absolute madness. Where would you even begin to look? You can't do this on your own."
Her eyes searched his face as an unspoken question lingered in the air until they heard the sound of a key turning in the lock.
"That must be Kate," said Rebecca.
Kate walked in with quick, easy steps, looking especially cheerful. She bent and kissed her father and mother on the cheek, without even trying to explain where she spent the night, then said, "Excellent, breakfast!"
"Sit down." Daniel pulled out a chair for her. "Have a muffin."
An hour later, Rebecca noticed only crumbs remained and wondered who ate it all because she did not remember tasting anything. She was too wrapped up in discussing her plans with Kate, while Daniel offered opposition that got more and more desperate with each minute, until he finally fell silent.
"Mom is right," Kate said. "Benjamin must come back to us. We have to find him. Or at least, we have to try."
Rebecca glowed with gratitude. "If we bring him back…I hardly dare to plan. It will be crowded, I know, but I'm sure we'll all be able to squeeze in."
"Oh, it won't be that crowded, Mom," Kate said, grinning like someone about to deliver a pleasant surprise. "You see, I'm moving in with Tony."
Instantly, Daniel was in dad mode, unable to hide the suspicion in his voice. "Tony? Who's Tony?"
"What?" Rebecca said, startled. "You never told me you were planning to…"
"I said who's Tony?".
"Well, I was waiting for the right moment to tell you, but it just never…"
"Who is Tony!?"
The urgency and volume of his demand finally got their attention. Grinning, mother and daughter looked at him.
"I think you'll like him," Rebecca said.
27
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The rented Land Rover rolled down the old winding road. It was dented and battered from many years of rough use, and its paint was peeling in places, but the engine was still powerful. Of the four people sitting in the car, two still found it hard to believe they were actually doing this.
"If we're caught…" Daniel trailed off, shaking his head.
"Then you'll be forced to retire six months earlier," Rebecca said, "or whatever other fierce punishment the tax office can come up with. But if you're so worried, Daniel, it isn't too late to turn back."
"Don't be silly. I can't possibly let you do this on your own." He glanced out the side window for a few seconds as his voice dropped to a whisper so soft those in the back seat couldn't hear him. "You've been on your own too long."
"I'm sure it's perfectly safe, Mr. Hurst," Tony said, checking the map. "We have plenty of supplies and extra gas, and according to the map, we're headed in a Pollution Level A1 area that is almost as clean as the Islands."
"We have no guarantee where the orphans went," said Daniel.
"Dad, no one really knows where they went after they were released," said Kate, "but going in this direction is a good guess. We entered through the gate Mr. Bradley said they used to drop them off."
Tony nodded. "And they'd need water, so they'd stay close to the river."
"So if we continue to follow the river, we should find them," Rebecca said.
Daniel's head shook. "That was over five years ago, dear. They could have gone anywhere since."
"Sure, but they had these…these lessons on how to survive out here. They were given maps and guides and everything, too. They were told to stick to the less polluted areas, and there's no reason to think they did otherwise. So we're going to A1. Keep your eye open for signs of human habitation."
Daniel stopped halfway to the river. "Left or right?"
"What if they crossed the river?" Kate as
ked.
"Then we'd have to find a bridge to reach them. So…left or right?"
"We could flip a coin," Tony said.
"Then…"
"Left," Rebecca said. "I…I don't know why, but I'm sure we have to go left."
Daniel shrugged. "Left it is, then."
The vehicle moved slowly over the uneven ground. Forty minutes later, they saw remnants of a large campfire between them and the river.
"Looks like you were right, Mom," Kate said.
Daniel's head shook. "That can't be theirs. Five years of weather would have washed away any fire they made. Still, somebody made it. Probably a more recent group."
"Perhaps we should move away from the river more. The orphans would probably stay close enough to get water from it, but what if they decided to go through the woods at the crest of the hill. It's sparse enough. Perhaps we should try driving up there so we can see if the they or another groups left any signs of passing."
When they reached the top, they were treated to the sight of a vast plain ringed by woods.
"I bet that was cultivated land before the War," Tony said.
Kate nodded. "Probably so, which means there should be a house nearby."
"Maybe. Let me get the binoculars." He got out and climbed on a nearby boulder. "I don't see any structures, but there are two low mounds close to each other near the trees on the left side. They could be what's left of a collapsed house and barn. No use wasting time there."
They stayed on high ground, keeping sight of the river, until the sun slipped down near the horizon.
The tent Tony procured from a friend who was addicted to camping in the city park looked just big enough for four people and their sleeping bags.
With more enthusiasm than experience, they collected enough dry wood for a fire. A confident Daniel piled it in a ring of stones, struck a match, threw it onto the pile of wood, and watched it flicker for a few seconds before going out. His wife and daughter choked back their laughs and just smiled. His second try, which he carefully placed in dry grass and kindling, was more successful, and soon they had a fire merrily blazing and warding off the darkness and chill. Though they had enough supplies to cook a soup or stew, everyone was too tired after the long day's drive so they settled for roasting sausages for sandwiches.
"I don't know about you," said Kate, stretching and yawning after they ate, "but I'm about to fall asleep where I sit. Why don't we all head into the tent and try to make an early start tomorrow?"
"In a bit," said Rebecca. "I think I'll - I'll just sit here for a little while."
Kate was soon sleeping. Tony, after inspecting the tent and declaring that four people wedged in there would feel like sardines in a box, went off to sleep in the back seat of the Land Rover, leaving Rebecca and Daniel in front of the fire, which now burned lower.
The night grew chillier as the stars brightened and the moon floated high in the sky. They heard the piercing call of a distant bird. When Rebecca, clad only in a light jacket, shivered slightly, Daniel brought a blanket, sat next to her, and bundled them together.
They sat, warm and silent, absorbing the alien environment. The writer in her felt the immensity of space around them and began to silently compose. We sat together in the big, free, wide, untamed, unprotected space, unshackled by any Boundary, not purified by anti-pollution devices, a space wild and dangerous. Following the War and the survivors' retreat into the tiny niches of the Islands, all the rest of America was left to the coyotes and foxes, rabbits and gerbils, birds and snakes, mustangs and buffalo, and wolves and bears. All that wildlife and more has lived out here for so many decades. Perhaps some are near us now, warded off by the red and orange glow of the camp fire. This is what it must have felt like at the dawn of humankind, when people sat huddled together in their camps and caves by night, staring into the flames. Fire meant safety. Fire meant life. She sighed. Maybe when we return I'll write about the trip and surprise Natalie.
"I guess this is how they felt," Daniel said, his voice low.
"What do you mean?" Rebecca stared at his profile. He looks deep in thought.
"The children," he said after a moment's hesitation. "Out here, outside the Boundary for the first time in their life, sitting in front of a campfire in the middle of nowhere, wondering where to go the next day."
"No, Daniel. I don't think this is how they felt." She sounded bitter. "We can go home when we run low on supplies and gas. We have our safe place within the Boundary, our place in society. The orphans were pariahs, with one-way passes across. They had no place, no way back, no security, and no one who cared. And they were twelve years old."
Daniel hung his head. "I hope he…they…made it," he said searching out Rebecca's fingers and entwining them with his own.
"I know he has," she said, trying to sound surer than she felt. Twelve-year-old children. What chance did they stand against this great wilderness? One misstep, and it would devour them in a flash.
Daniel cast an uneasy glance in the direction of the Land Rover. "What do you think of this Anthony guy?" he whispered on the off chance Kate was still awake.
Rebecca smiled. "What do you think?"
"I don't know what to make of him. I confess I'm a little suspicious. Who is he, anyway? How did Kate meet him? What does he do for a living? Look at his jeans, all frayed at the bottom. And did you see his earring?"
Daniel noticed the mischief in her eyes as she said, "He's a very clever young man. Handy, too. I'm glad he decided to come along."
He opened his mouth to pursue exactly how clever and handy he was, but changed his mind and said, "I see no reason why they should move in together. Kate hardly knows him."
"She knows him. She's known him for a while. We just haven't met him until recently. I…"
From somewhere in the distance, a howl cut her off. Rebecca did not know if it was a wolf or a coyote, but either way, it was enough to make her shudder. "Perhaps we should all sleep in the Land Rover."
"Nonsense. They won't come near the fire. You get in the tent, and I'll stay out here and keep adding wood for a while. Go on, Becky, you must be tired."
His gallant gesture warmed her heart. When she stepped into the tent, she stopped and smiled at the sound of Kate's steady breathing as she did so many times, for so many years, when they were both much younger. Though she felt wide awake, she slid into her sleeping bag and closed her eyes.
The cool night air was alive with a symphony of sounds made by creatures large and small. She heard the crackling of the fire and smelled the wood smoke. All of it made her senses hum with a sudden thrill of anticipation, quite different from the anxiety she felt before they set off. Rebecca was sure she would not sleep. She did not feel the least bit drowsy but closed her eyes just to rest them. I'll get up in a few minutes and sit with Daniel for a while longer. He's been so sweet about this. Seconds later, she was asleep.
The next day brought a soft, steady drizzle that turned everything misty gray. It cleared late in the morning, not long before one of the wheels of the Land Rover sank nearly halfway into a deep puddle of squelchy mud, out of which it was pushed only by the combined efforts of everyone, accompanied much swearing on part of Daniel and Tony.
"From now on, we drive around puddles, not through them," Daniel said.
Around midday, they crossed a road and saw a faded but readable sign, so they decided to investigate. Minutes later, they entered a small ghost town and stopped in the middle of the long abandoned town square.
"Such a shame," Kate said. "There must be thousands of places like this all across the country. I wonder why none of the kids moved into it."
"Water," Tony said. "They'd have no way to restore the wells and machinery that delivered water to the buildings. That's why they have to stay near the river."
After a short break, they doubled back to the town line and continued on their way.
A little more than an hour later, the car broke down.
It happened without w
arning. It rolled to a stop so gently and slowly that Rebecca thought it must be Tony slowing for some reason. She knew it was not when he got out and opened the hood. A minute later, the others joined him.
"What's up?" asked Kate. "Are we out of gas?"
"Impossible," said Daniel. "We brought enough fuel with us for a cross-country journey and I just refilled the tank this morning."
"Tony?"
"I'm just checking things out. We have a problem."
"What do you mean, a problem?" Daniel asked.
"The engine just stopped and I can't figure out why."
"What are we going to do?" Rebecca asked.
"There's nothing obvious I can see," Tony said. "That means something broke, probably some electronic part."
Kate asked, "Can you fix it?"
"Maybe, if we were in a garage with tools and meters and computers. Out here?" He shook his head as he pulled his phone from his back pocket. "I thought so. No signal. We're too far out."
"What'll we do, then?"
"Right now, I vote for lunch. Then we start walking."
"Where?"
"That's what we decide during lunch."
While Rebecca and Daniel made a soup from dried peas and canned meat, and Kate took out a pair of binoculars to watch some passing birds. Tony kept poking around the engine.