by Hannah Ross
"This sure will be a surprise visit," Patrick said with a side glance at Rebecca.
She did not reply. She was pale and agitated and could hardly think. Daniel noticed her perturbation and put his arm around her shoulders.
"We're here, Becky," he said quietly. "We'll get our answers soon."
Someone noticed them approaching and came out to greet them. For a moment, Rebecca's heart fluttered wildly in her chest, but the thin young man who stood in front of them was obviously a few years older than her son.
"Hi, Mac," Patrick said, shaking hands.
Mac looked puzzled at the sight of Rebecca and Daniel. "Patrick. How do you happen to be here? And who have you brought? They don't look anything like smugglers or government officials."
Patrick chuckled. "That's a bit of a long story. But they're friends." He turned to Rebecca. "Why don't you show Mac the picture? He's known Ben for years. He'll be able to tell you if it's him."
Surprise filled Mac's face. "Ben? What about Ben?"
Her hands shook as she took out the precious photograph. "Is this the boy you call Benjamin Grey?"
"Yes, that's Ben alright. That's what he looked like when we first met five years ago. But what…"
"Where is he?" she said, looking around. "He lives here, doesn't he? Can I see him?"
"Ben isn't here. He left with two guys from the government and I don't know when he's coming back."
Rebecca deflated. "What do you mean, government? Why would they take Ben? When did he leave?"
"A few days ago."
"Oh, good heavens." Rebecca's disappointment overwhelmed her. All the tension of the past day and a half manifested itself in a spinning head and weak limbs, and she swayed on the spot.
Kate moved close and steadied her. "Easy, Mom. We've come this far. We'll find him." She looked at Mac. "Can you tell us more about where he's gone, and why?"
"I think you should talk to Sidney," Mac said. "He's here somewhere, and he'll explain it all much better than I can."
30
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A cold rain began to pound on the roof. It was a bit cramped with everyone inside, but the fire burning in the grate and the soft yellow light of oil lamps made it warm and cozy. Rebecca sat in a beautifully polished wooden rocking chair which, she was told, Mac made himself. A very old, very battered copy of Alice in Wonderland was open on her lap. Mac and Gabby's daughter, Jill, was perched on one of the armchair handles, peering at the faded illustrations.
"Go on!" She tugged on Rebecca's sleeve. "I want to know what the Hare and the Hatter do next!"
Rebecca patted the girl on the knee and gave her a weary smile. She was tired and preoccupied, but there was also something refreshing about reciting the words she vaguely remembered from childhood. "'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice."
Ryan, who was sitting on the rug and listening, stifled a yawn. Edeline was not fooled, however. "Up you get, Ryan. It's past time you were in bed."
"But Mom. Darren and Jill are still here."
"No arguing, young man. Bed, I said."
"'I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone."
Gabby looked up from her mending-basket and smiled at Rebecca. "This is like having a grandmother in the house. I've often wondered what it would feel like."
For a moment Rebecca was tempted to protest. But I do have a married son. I suppose I can expect grandchildren anytime now. "I used to love reading to my children when they were little. It's been a long time."
She saw Edeline take Ryan by the hand and lead him away. It still seemed surreal to her that these young people were so capable and mature. Gabby was fifteen when she had her first child without any proper guidance or medical care. Rebecca was appalled when she first realized this, but it was also amazing how well the members of this close-knit group were doing. Their house is in good repair, they have enough food, and the babies and children are loved and cared for. Could I have done this at their age? Could anyone living within the Boundary?
In another corner of the hall, where several lamps were put together, Daniel, Tony, and Ron were having a woodworking session with Mac. Rebecca saw her husband sanding down a shelf and smiled. He certainly seems to be enjoying himself.
Jill's head drooped softly on Rebecca's shoulder. Her breathing was deep and regular. She's fallen asleep. Gabby noticed and set aside her basket, lifted the little girl up in her arms, and carried her off as Rebecca closed the book.
Kate came over, carrying two large mugs of steaming herb tea. "Your favorite. Lemongrass and peppermint."
"Thanks, honey."
Kate pulled up a chair and sat down, blowing on her tea. "It's hard to believe we've already been here a week, isn't it?"
Rebecca nodded. "It is. The days have just slipped by."
Everyone in the group accepted them without reservation. They were curious about life within the Boundary, but none seemed inclined to want to go there. She talked about Ben as a baby, and catching glimpses of him as he grew in the orphanage. In return, she heard all about who he was now, and was shown his things. Her heart ached with the thought of having missed him.
"He didn't talk much about this, but I know he went with the government scouts because he wanted a chance to look for you," Elisa told her on their first day.
Rebecca's immediate instinct was to tear off and head for the Boundary at once, but that was countered by Daniel and Kate's common sense. The weather was dismal, they had no car, they had to take a break and replenish their supplies, and they had no idea of where to look for him or even who to ask. Overall, it seemed their best bet was to stay and wait for his return.
"If I know Ben at all, he'll be back soon enough," Tom had said. "He won't leave the camp for too long."
How Ben would get back was a different question. Rebecca did not imagine the government representatives would bring him home. But her youngest son was grown now and she had to trust in his ability of looking after himself. She accepted having to wait for him at the camp, but was getting frustrated with doing nothing.
"If it clears up tomorrow, we should consider our next move," she told Kate. "We can't be sure Ben will decide to return here anytime soon. He might want to stay in the Boundary, at least for a while."
Kate looked skeptical. "There's nothing for him in the city except for a menial job and perhaps a bunk bed at some laborers' quarters."
Rebecca shook her head. "I can't bear to just keep waiting here. We'll give it a few more days, but if he doesn't return, we'll leave a message for Ben so he'll know where to find us, and then we'll go home."
In their time staying with the Eagles, the visitors became painfully aware of how different a world it was without grocery stores and fast food chains. The food the camp members shared was precious and not to be taken for granted. To make up for their hosts' generosity, they lent a hand in the house, the vegetable garden, with the animals, and wherever else they could. Though the work was often hard, they felt a sense of satisfaction they never experienced within the Boundary. For Rebecca especially, though she was anxious to return home to search for Ben, she felt as though she was on a holiday of sorts.
After breakfast on the fourteenth day in camp, Patrick, who stayed the entire time, said, "Well, if you've made up your mind, I think it's time we get going."
"You'll still guide us back to the Boundary?" Kate asked.
"Of course." He grinned. "Ben would hunt me down if he learned I let you all find your own way back."
By mid-morning, an expanded travois was packed, hitched to Patrick's horse, and they were ready to leave.
Gabby hugged Rebecca and Kate. "This isn't goodbye. I have a feeling we'll meet again soon."
"Thank you for everything," Daniel said. "We really…"
His thought was cut short when Darren stormed into the house, out of breath with his face was flushed with running.
"I…" He gulped air.
"I saw…"
Gabby glared at him. "Darren, how many times do I have to tell you to wipe your feet before you come in? Look, you've tracked mud all over the floor. You…"
"But I saw…I saw…"
"What? What did you see?"
"It's him! It's Ben! He's back!"
Rebecca clutched Daniel's arm for support. "I think I'm going to faint," she gasped.
"Are you sure it's him, Darren?" Gabby asked. "How could he be back so soon?"
"Go and see for yourself!" Darren shouted and dashed outside again, followed by everyone else.
Rebecca shielded her eyes from the sun. She saw a lone figure with a large backpack walking slowly toward the farmhouse. It was impossible to make out the hiker's face, but she knew this was it. The wait of many years was coming to an end. Her legs felt wobbly. After all the searching and waiting and wondering, she was almost afraid to meet him.
"It's him alright," Tom shouted, waving his arms. "Ben! Hey, Ben!"
He was close now, close enough to register the strangers in his camp. He stopped and stared, his eyes widening in unmistakable recognition.
Rebecca's insides began to quiver. He knows who I am. My son knows who I am.
Before she could react, he covered the remaining distance and stopped an arm's length in front of her. She wanted to say something, but could only stand and stare as her eyes filled with tears.
His face reminded her so much of her other children, yet had its own unique quality. His blue eyes were the same shape as Kate's green ones and his cheekbones, jawline, and the shape of his nose were just like Daniel's and Jordan's.
Gradually, the stunned expression left his face and he smiled. "You're here. I…"
She could not stop herself. She had waited too long. She closed the gap and threw her arms around him, letting his warmth drive out years of misery and longing as she memorized the smell of his hair, the youthful stubble on his cheek, the width and firmness of his shoulders. She felt exhilarated and heartbroken at the same time.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I can't let go yet. The last time I held you, you were a soft, tiny infant cradled in my arms." She sniffled. "Now… Now you're grown. A young man. Oh, Ben. I'm so sorry."
She took a deep breath and released him. He stood stiff and awkward, watching as she wiped her eyes, trying to compose herself.
Rebecca stared at her new-found son, trying to remember what she said and did during those first few minutes with him. There was so much to process that she found it difficult to take it all in. When they all went inside, food and drinks were served with the air of a great celebration. As she watched Ben sitting with a mug of homemade root beer in hand, she could hardly believe it was all was real.
Kate seemed to have a better grasp on the situation than her mother and was quickly at ease with her younger brother. "But how did you get here? You couldn't have hiked all the way from the Boundary. It would take you too long."
"No, I was lucky," Ben said. "There was another government expedition heading out, and they picked me up. They were able to drop me off in the area, and I only had to walk a few hours."
"You didn't stay in the city too long, then?"
"Only a few days. Once I realized you were away, I figured I'd better head back home. I never expected to find you here, though." His gaze passed from Rebecca to Daniel to Tony. "That guy's your boyfriend? You getting married?"
Kate blushed. "Yes, he's my boyfriend. As for getting married…" She shrugged. "We're living together, though, so maybe." She looked around. "Are any of these kids yours?"
It was Ben's turn to blush. "No. I…I'm not with anyone like that. I…" He all but jumped up.
Rebecca reached out for his hand and squeezed it. She was afraid he would pull his hand away, but he just squeezed back. "We can all go back to the Boundary together. You can stay with us now. You must stay with us."
Ben shook his head. "I don't think I can."
Rebecca looked aghast as she rose from her chair. "What do you mean? Of course you must stay with us. You belong with us!" She swallowed hard, trying and failing, to blink back tears. "I mean…I do understand, of course. We're complete strangers to you, and…and I know I can make up a lot of excuses, but the bottom line is, it's our fault." She stepped closer, looked up into his face, and rested her hands on his shoulders. "I can tell you this, though, Benjamin. I have never regretted anything in my life like I have regretted giving you up. At the time it had seemed like we truly had no choice. Keeping you would have meant ruination for all of us. But not a day went by that I didn't know in my heart that I would have been better off losing everything, my job, my home, my livelihood, my savings, and all my future prospects, rather than losing my baby."
A slight frown creased Benjamin's smooth, young face. "I don't think you understand. When I first read the letter Mrs. Stocking wrote, I didn't know what to feel. I was angry at first. I felt betrayed, even. But as time passed, I realized that at least I'd been wanted, which is more than can be said about most of the orphans. I wasn't cast off because my parents just couldn't be bothered. Someone had loved me, and knowing that did make a difference. But what's in the Boundary isn't my world anymore. The first year after the orphanage was really difficult. I missed the simplest things, like pulling a bottle of cold water out of the fridge. Or flushing a toilet." He grinned. "Now, though… We have freedom. We have a really good life out here. I don't think many will want to go back into the Boundary, except maybe for a visit. I know I wouldn't have gone at all, if it weren't for you."
"This farm is sure nice," Tony said. "With plenty of hands to run it, you seem to be doing well. And nothing in the area seems to be contaminated, either."
Daniel nodded. "That's true." He tried to keep his voice steady, but everyone saw that he, too, was profoundly shaken by meeting his son. "I've read some recent reports and it turns out the data on pollutant concentrations in various regions beyond the Boundary hadn't been updated in decades. A lot of things have changed since then. Many areas might very well be quite safe."
"And people are getting tired of always living so cramped in the Urban Islands," added Kate. "I'll bet a lot of the abandoned land is habitable and safe. There are all those houses, too, from before the War. Many were ruined but I'm sure some are still in decent condition. They could be fixed up, like you did here. Sounds like a great project, doesn't it?"
"What about your job?" he asked, uncertain whether to take her idea seriously.
"I don't mean for me, Dad. I mean for you and Mom."
"For us?" Daniel looked at her as if she were out of her mind. "What on earth would we do with an old farmhouse?"
"Think about it. Mom's retired now, and I know you must be sick of the tax office after all these years. You two aren't old, though. What are you going to do, stuck in that cramped little apartment all day long? Fixing up an old house out here somewhere could be the perfect adventure for you."
Daniel and Rebecca stared at each other. "I think that's the craziest thing I ever heard," he declared, shaking his head.
"Me too," she said, beginning to smile.
Epilogue
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Rebecca straightened up and pressed her knuckles against her lower back. The physical work on the farm was the most strenuous she had done in many years, but it also refreshed and invigorated her. She woke every morning anticipating the day ahead, ate her meals with an excellent appetite, and when she finally relaxed in bed at the end of each day, she did so with a sigh of total contentment.
Daniel, too, was discovering new horizons. Rebecca was used to seeing him as a man of office cubicles and quarterly reports, but he was proving to be quite the handyman, relishing the blisters and wood splinters that came with repairing and rebuilding the old home.
He walked out of the house wearing an old pair of jeans and a plaid shirt and smelling of fresh paint. "Just finished the kitchen cabinets."
"That
's great. I'm afraid that shirt is ruined, though." She pointed at paint smudges on his sleeve and collar.
Daniel shrugged. "Oh, well. It's one of my work shirts anyway, and I don't expect anyone from the office to drop by today." He chuckled and she joined him.
They both laughed more, ate with better appetites, and slept more soundly these days. They felt younger, as though they had taken a rejuvenating injection of NOAGE. And there was something even better. In the past years, though Rebecca could not say she and her husband exactly became strangers, they did drift apart. They had different pursuits, ate their meals at different hours, and went to bed at different times. Their lives, though not precisely separate, were more like two parallel lines than one path they both followed. That changed with the move beyond the Boundary. Taking over this old farm brought them together again.
Daniel put his arm around her shoulders. "Come to think of it, I do wish the guys from the tax office could see us now. Remember how people reacted when we told them what we are about to do? Everyone said we were crazy. Truthfully, even I wondered. I mean, it did sound like an act of madness, after all. But look at us now. I think this was the best decision we could have made."
"I agree." She turned to face him. "And you know why?" She tilted her head up and kissed him. "Total privacy." She reached for the top button of his shirt but stopped and turned. A different kind of excitement filled her face. "Do you hear that?"
"I hear something. But it can't be him. It's much too soon."
Rebecca hurried up the front path to the newly-painted iron gate. A smile spread over her face as she saw a horse in the distance, its glossy chestnut coat gleaming in the bright sun. She raised her arm and waved. Then, to her surprise, she saw another horse, a black one, galloping after the chestnut.
"Daniel! Daniel! Hurry!"