They won't judge me. I have to trust them.
Wolfgang spoke up when I didn't say anything. "Silver. You don't need to say the exact word, but...did Callister use his incubus powers on you without your permission?"
"Did he touch you without your consent?" Yuriel whispered.
The car was silent, and I knew deep down I wouldn't answer unless I heard the word.
"Silver." Ryuu's tender voice was what motivated me to open my heavy eyes just slightly. He was staring at me in the rearview mirror, those mismatched flame-to-ocean eyes peering right into my mine.
His gaze reached down to my very soul.
"Did Callister rape you?"
The question of the century. The words I'd wished all those people who’d judged, hated, and insulted me would have stopped and questioned, instead of taking Callister’s side.
Instead of being influenced by him.
My throat felt like it was closing up, but I fought against the silence. I didn't need to protect him anymore. I wanted to start living my life in the present and not the past.
I needed to acknowledge what happened to me, or I'd never move on. I wouldn't be able to love these four men who were willing to give me a chance. Who were willing to protect me from the man who thought he'd forever have control over me.
With the bit of courage I had left within me, I answered truthfully.
"Yes."
26
Our Dark Pasts Mold Our Bright Futures
~SIX DAYS LATER~
* * *
"Mewr."
I carried on folding the pile of dry laundry while Star attacked the bundle of socks I'd put in a small white basket.
Today was Sunday and we'd officially survived our first week at S.S.S. school.
Though we were still breathing, our bodies had been so sore from Friday's crazy day of random testing and trials that we all came home, ate pizza, drank a bottle of wine each, and passed out until Saturday evening.
I could now understand why the fridge was stocked with alcohol.
We would need it.
Since our crazy first day of classes, I'd been on the quieter side. After revealing what Callister had done with the simple word of acknowledgment, I'd fallen asleep.
None of the guys pestered me about it during dinner, and they acted like they normally did throughout the rest of the week.
Each night I'd woken with one of the guys holding me in their arms.
The first night was Dimitri in his hellhound form once again. I suspected he just liked sneaking in, but I really did want his company.
In the morning, they had asked if I actually was okay with them bunking with me each night and I'd voiced that it had brought me comfort.
It wasn't like we were intimate or anything. I always wore lingerie and a shirt to bed and the guys would either wear sweats or their boxers. Their presence was welcome and had no negative effect on me.
I'd been worried that my nightmares would come back from those dark times in my life. But they hadn't poked their way through my dreams this week and that left me relieved each morning.
Since my encounter with Callister, I'd only seen him twice more.
Both times I was with one of the guys; the first encounter was with Wolfgang and the second with Ryuu.
On both occasions, Callister had swiftly avoided us. It was weird to see the flicker of fear in his eyes when he noticed me passing in the hallway. His avoidance left me feeling more grateful for having the guys as teammates and boyfriends.
I'm sure on the outside, some would wonder why I was dating four very different shifters, but it seemed like our differences were what brought us together and were making school a lot easier than I expected.
It was still hard and utterly exhausting with the long lectures, aching muscles, weak magic levels, and occasional reprimands after a student did something stupid that pissed one of our professors off, but it was an expected reality in an school training the best spies in the world.
Scarlet had called me three times this week, particularly on the night after the change room incident.
Her gut instincts were always on point, and she somehow knew the words she needed to say to me when I wanted comfort but didn't want to reveal exactly what was going on.
We had fifteen more weeks until our first semester was over. I honestly couldn't wait for the two weeks off, and I was debating on what I wanted to do.
There would be an school dance, but not everyone would be invited. From each team, only the leader and one other member could attend. Almost like a way to show your team was still here after the chaos of writing exams and never-ending trials.
We'd briefly discussed it during downtime, but our main focus was surviving the coming months and growing as a team.
With the afternoon buzzing by, I decided laundry would be a good thing to do while I sorted my own thoughts, especially since I had plenty of dirty gym clothes.
Gym always gave me a bit of anxiety, especially after the change room incident, but I either made sure to change with a few of the girls who liked to shower after class, or on those days where no one was there, I'd simply endure the drenched ride home and take a long shower then.
So far, I'd made one friend, who was a bunny shifter. Her name was Zuri, and she literally reminded me of Eevee from Pokémon.
Scratch that. More like a Sylveon because she was literally pink and white and could use light and fairy magic.
She was super shy, looked nowhere near in her early twenties, and had the softest voice I'd ever heard.
We'd met when she took the locker next to me in the change room after our second gym class and Star had randomly appeared and taken her socks.
I had no idea why my uni-kitten familiar had an odd addiction to socks, but it was thanks to her that I was able to have a conversation with Zuri.
She was on a supreme team that was similar to mine in terms of variety. Her four other teammates were also her roommates, and she was dating one of the guys, who was a lion shifter. We'd ended up exchanging numbers and had been texting each other at least once a day.
Even before I'd put my laundry load in, she'd texted me about how her lion boyfriend had tried doing laundry and ruined all her lingerie.
I tried to imagine what an angry bunny would look like, but needless to say, she was spending the day out with the rest of her team to get her new lingerie.
Aside from her boyfriend, her teammates were two other guys and a girl, but I didn't know what shifter races they were.
I was sure they didn't have the same type of relationship I had with the guys, but it made me happy that Zuri had been as lucky as me with a supportive team.
Being shy was definitely the hardest trait to have when in a competitive environment like this, but they always said the quiet ones were the most dangerous of them all.
I had to wash my own uniforms, but I'd realized the guys hadn't done any of their laundry either.
It could have been because they were always trying to help me out with homework and had very little time to do anything else aside from sleeping, eating, and studying.
We hadn't figured out a training schedule either, which was another one of the many tasks on our list. I knew Dimitri was taking a nap in the sun while Wolfgang and Ryuu went out to get us some groceries.
I'm sure we could have had them delivered, but Ryuu said he needed specific ingredients to make an energy smoothie that would help us during the week.
He and Wolfgang used to drink them during their school times, but certain ingredients had to be retrieved at a special store on campus.
It would help ensure we didn't feel like zombies by gym class. We all needed that extra boost of energy. I hadn't seen Yuriel around, but I assumed he was either sleeping or outside.
Doing laundry, especially the folding part, reminded me of all the times I'd fold the clothes with Dad after Mother had washed and dried them. It was like a Sunday tradition, where Scarlet and Mom would wash our clothes and hang them
up to dry.
Then Dad and I were in charge of speeding up the drying process and folding everything.
It provided me with time to talk to my dad quietly, telling him my weekly concerns. I missed his company, even now.
I was sure if he’d known about my relationship with Callister, he wouldn't have approved of it. He knew I had been dating someone, but not the details. He was protective, and I didn't want him stressing over my boy troubles, but I wished I had told him.
I wished I didn’t have to see Callister anymore. That he would just fail or screw up or something, but it was wishful thinking.
I simply hated how his presence had caused bad memories to resurface, and all I could do was shove them to the side and act like I wasn't hurting.
The knock at the door caught my attention, and I noticed Yuriel was crouched down, holding a bundled sock that had Star latched onto it.
She was hanging on to it with her teeth and claws, while Yuriel was giving her a confused look.
"You really like socks," he told her before meeting my gaze. "Hey."
"Hey." I gave him a small smile as he rose up with Star.
After placing her back into the basket of socks, he moved to sit in front of me, crossing his legs.
He was in a white t-shirt and black shorts and his hair was down. He looked as though he'd just woken up.
"Were you sleeping?" I asked.
"Yeah. I went to bother my brother and check on my apartment in town. When I got back, you were picking up our laundry baskets from our rooms. I asked you if you needed help, but you didn't reply."
"I didn't? Uh..." I cringed at his words, realizing I had a habit of ignoring the world when I zoned out. "Sorry. I was thinking."
"It's okay." He gave me a small smile. "Need help?"
"Sure." I smiled back.
We began folding more clothes, and I wondered about the apartment he’d mentioned.
"You have an apartment?"
"Yeah. It's a small one," Yuriel replied. "I don't stay there much. Just when I need some space from my family."
"Is your family not really supportive?" I questioned.
It didn't appear that way with his brother. Even when he scolded him all week about parking in his spot, it wasn't truly out of anger. You can tell it was just his personality.
"My brother is. My parents...well. It's a long story," he mumbled.
"Mewr!"
We glanced to the basket of socks, watching it fall over. Bundles of socks rolled onto the floor with Star snuggling what looked to be Yuriel's black socks.
She blinked innocently and got up. After picking up the black bundle of socks, she ran over and climbed onto Yuriel's crossed legs.
"Those are mine," Yuriel pointed out to the uni-kitten.
She merely blinked at him and returned to hugging the bundle like it was a stuffed doll.
Yuriel sighed but petted her head. "Weird uni-kitten."
The whole scene made my heart swell, loving how he and the rest of the guys accepted Star so easily.
Now she came out whenever she liked, and I had to be thankful to her for being the one to grab the others when Callister had confronted me.
"At least your brother cares," I whispered.
Yuriel nodded, his eyes staring at the white t-shirt in his lap while he continued to pet Star.
"My brother paused his teaching career to take care of me," Yuriel admitted.
"He did?" I asked. Professor Xin had mentioned he'd only returned to teaching two years ago.
"Yeah. I..." He paused, looking at the door as if someone was there.
"No one else is here," I whispered. "You're not allowed to tell people about your past, right?" I remembered Ryuu had said there were specific rules angels had to follow.
"Not necessarily. I can, but it has to be people I wholeheartedly trust and who won't sell me out, basically. Among the other stupid rules angel shifters have to follow. I never had to worry about the rule since I never had friends."
"You never had friends? People you could rely on?" I questioned in horror.
I'd had my share of trouble when it came to making friends, but at least I could say I’d had Nikko. She may not fall into that friend category anymore and hadn't been the perfect best friend, but she had been there.
"No," Yuriel simply replied. I waited for him to continue, which he followed up with, "None of the angel parents would let me hang around their kids…so."
"Why not?" My anger was already rising within me. Yuriel noticed, giving me a tilt of his head.
"Why are you angry?" he countered.
"Because that's mean!" I emphasized. "Kids shouldn't be forced to not play with one another."
"Maybe it's that way with mages and humans. Shifters don't care about kids’ feelings. They want their kids to be surrounded by those who will make them stronger and better. Not someone who's considered a disgrace among our race," Yuriel muttered.
"You're not a disgrace," I whispered.
"I am in our society." He smiled. "Could be why I'm rather anti-social."
"You're not anti-social," I grumbled. "Just because you're blunt and would rather do your own thing doesn't make you antisocial. If you were, you wouldn't like hanging out with any of us or sitting with us in the cafeteria during lunch."
"I guess," he replied.
"Is it because of...you know?" I inquired.
"No. I wasn't born a fallen angel. That happened when I was 22."
"How many years ago was that?" I asked.
"Three."
"Then why exactly were you isolated?" I questioned, unsure what other reason there could be when he was an angel like everyone else.
"My brother is actually my half-brother," Yuriel admitted.
He wasn't looking at me but playing with Star, who was lying on her back and playing with his finger by swatting it with her paws.
"Half-brother," I mumbled more to myself than him.
"My mom was married to my brother's father. He’s a really strong angel who was a part of our council. He's very strict and worries about his image all the time. He wasn’t on the council when he first married my mom, but once he got the role, he began to change. He got very conceited and would spend more time outside than at home. It upset my mom a lot, and she had to basically raise Daichi by herself. That's when she met my dad."
"I feel I know where this is going," I commented.
He nodded, but his eyes were still on Star. "They had a fling and my mom realized she liked my biological dad more. Needless to say, her husband found out and wanted my dad to be killed."
"Don't tell me they—"
"They didn't. Well, they couldn't. We're angels and follow certain rules. We're not allowed to kill one another over sinful actions. Yes, my mom broke a commandment, but as angels, we're not supposed to judge our actions, or so they say." Yuriel shrugged. "It's weird. Angels try to act like the holiest species alive and yet the sins they commit behind the scenes are surely double that of any other race."
He began rubbing Star's stomach, who was wiggling playfully on his left thigh.
"Basically, my mom got pregnant without noticing. Angels don't experience periods and stuff and there were no physical signs that my mom was pregnant, so it was a surprise. Being the baby born out of wedlock already cast a dark shadow on me, and no one wanted to be around me. My dad was cast out to a different district as punishment, so I only got to see him on occasion. I wasn't allowed out a lot of the time, and no one wanted to play with me. I was homeschooled while my brother went to school, and our Mom was the one who was raising us once again. It wasn't until later that Mom found out her "clean" husband had been cheating on her for years."
"No way!" I gasped.
Yuriel grinned. "Yup. It ended up in all the papers and boy, was my mom pissed. She'd been humiliated and isolated because of a one-night stand out of loneliness and stress, while her husband had been cheating on her for years. She divorced him, and wanted to go back to my dad. The only p
roblem was she didn't want to separate Daichi and me. Even though I was young at the time, I was intelligent because of the homeschool lessons. I told my mom to go live with Dad and I'd stay with my brother. She ended up doing that, but my life was a living hell with our new stepmom."
"Oh no." I frowned.
"It was all right at first. I still got homeschooled, at least until I was able to do online classes on my own. Then when I was sixteen, I got a job at a library, which was nice because it wasn't in the angel district. No one knew me and I could simply stack books and read. I worked a lot and saved every paycheck so I could go see my parents. It'd been a while since I'd seen my mom and dad, and I wanted to do a surprise trip. My goal was to go when I turned eighteen, but then that went downhill."
"What happened?"
"The district we'd been living in didn't want Daichi's dad on the council anymore. It looked bad to have him on there. We had to move to a brand new sector across the country. That meant I was even farther away from my mom and biological dad, which meant more money was needed for my trip. They live in a place where you have to take a plane to get there and can't teleport. My brother was willing to help, but I knew his dream was to become a professor. I didn't want to hold him back."
"Did that mean he had to go to school and you were left alone with your stepmom and stepdad?" I asked.
"Yeah. I didn't care much because I transferred to the library there because I'd been a good employee, but I regret it now."
He sighed. "My stepmother hated me. She basically blamed the fact her new husband had been brought down on my existence. One day, she sent me to the next town to get some ingredients for a spell she was conducting. My brother had just finished his first year teaching at S.S.S. and was loving it. He wanted to come with me, but I knew he'd be tired from the traveling so I told him not to."
Yuriel finally lifted his gaze to meet my intrigued eyes.
"It took me hours to search for the ingredients. I found out she'd sent me to the wrong town entirely. I decided to head back, but that was the night the town was attacked by hunters."
SSS: Year One (Supernatural Spy School Book 1) Page 30