Learning to Lean

by Mildred Colvin

  “I’m sorry, what did you say?” She sank to her bed, determined to keep her attention on the conversation.

  “I asked you to dinner this Friday evening.”

  “Oh, I don’t know if I can find a babysitter. My oldest son is only fourteen. I’m not sure I’d want to leave the other two with him.”

  “Bring them along.”

  “What? Are you serious?”

  “Sure, Brent, too.”

  “It’s Brad and if you’re sure, then I’d love to go. I doubt Brad will come, but Gary and Candace would love a night out.” Heather couldn’t believe her luck. Not only had she caught the attention of a rich man, but he was willing to take her kids on their first date.

  ~*~*~*~

  ~Five~

  Heather fastened a barrette in Candace’s hair then held her back at arms’ length. “I believe you are pretty enough to pass any inspection, young lady.”

  Candace clapped her hands, bringing a smile to Heather until she saw the wary expression on Gary’s face. He held his arms out to the sides. “Why’d we have to get all dressed up just to go eat?”

  “Because we are going to a restaurant.” Heather wondered if he had already forgotten what eating out had been like with his dad. She straightened the collar of his best button-up shirt.

  “I don’t—”

  The doorbell rang cutting off Gary’s complaint. Heather stopped with her hand on the knob and considered her children. Gary and Candace stood waiting. Brad slouched on the sofa where he intended to stay the rest of the evening. At least she hoped so. An overdose of TV would be better than hanging out downtown with—actually she didn’t know who he hung out with.

  She tried to impress the importance of the evening on them with a stern look. “Please, guys, be on your best behavior tonight.”

  Brad snickered. Gary shrugged. Heather sighed and opened the door. Howard Manes stood on the other side of the storm door with a smile on his face and a look of appreciation in his eyes. His hand lowered from the doorbell.

  “Good evening, Heather.”

  “Howard, please come in.”

  Heather stood to the side while Howard stepped into her living room. Wearing a dark blue suit and tie with his blond hair combed carefully to the side, he appeared every bit the successful businessman he was. His immaculate appearance and air of sophistication contrasted with their humble surroundings.

  Heather grabbed Candace’s jacket and helped her daughter with it while she fought embarrassment for her house and for the financial situation she had been forced into by Darrell’s untimely death.

  “Gary, get your jacket on. It’s a little cool outside.”

  “Who’s he?” Gary frowned at Howard. “I thought we was going with Ricky’s dad.”

  “Gary, your coat, please.” Heather tried to inject enough warning to let her son know she didn’t appreciate his attitude.

  Gary crossed his arms, his scowl deepening, his voice accusing. “Ricky’s dad’s cool.”

  Which meant Howard wasn’t. Heather zipped Candace’s jacket and stood. “I’m sorry, Howard. He’s got a new friend and….” How did she explain when she also thought Ricky’s dad was pretty cool?

  Howard laughed and tried to tousle Gary’s hair, which Gary neatly sidestepped. “No problem. I understand completely.”

  He turned toward Brad who sat watching with a smirk on his face. “So, are you coming with us, son?”

  Brad’s eyebrows lifted. “No, sir, I’m not.”

  Heather breathed again at Brad’s respectful answer, then almost choked when he added in a clear, low tone. “And I’m glad I’m not your son.”

  “Well,” she tossed Gary’s jacket to him and spoke with forced cheerfulness. “I guess we need to be going.”

  She shoved the children out the door before they said anything else she’d regret.

  Howard’s midnight blue Buick waited by the curb. When he opened the back door and Candace started to climb in, Heather stopped her. “She needs a car seat. I’ll get the one from my van.”

  “I’m sorry.” He apologized after Heather strapped Candace in, and they pulled onto the street. “I’m not used to children.”

  Heather smiled, determined to give their bad start a good ending. “Don’t worry. They require a lot of on-the-job training.”

  He chuckled. “That leaves me out. My ex-wife didn’t want children, and I kept too busy building up my business to give consideration to posterity. Didn’t seem important until now.”

  What did he mean? Did he want a ready-made family? Heather mulled over the idea and wasn’t sure she liked playing second fiddle to her children.

  When Howard followed the highway out of town, Heather relaxed, glad the children were quiet for the moment. Thirty minutes and a couple of attempts at small talk later they slowed for the suburbs of Des Moines.

  Howard smiled across the seat at Heather. “I thought you might like to try a new restaurant here. I’ve been hearing some good things about it.”

  “I’m sure that will be fine.” Heather gave a soft laugh. “I’ve gotten a little out of touch with such things lately.”

  At the restaurant, a valet parked the car. Inside the door of the luxurious restaurant, the maître d’ glanced at Gary and Candace before motioning Howard to the side.

  Heather tried without obviously eavesdropping to understand the hushed tones of the men. The lobby where they stood would hold her little house. She held Gary’s hand on one side and Candace’s on the other.

  “I don’t like this place, Mom.” Gary tugged on her sleeve.

  “Shh, I don’t think we’ll be staying, anyway.” Heather glanced through the wide doorway leading into the dining room. Voices from many conversations along with the clinking and tinkling sounds of people eating drifted to her. Women and men sat at tables in couples and in groups, but nowhere did she see a child. A man played a grand piano in the far corner of the dining room and sang, “The Way You Look Tonight.” She recognized the song from one of the last movies she had watched with Darrell.

  Howard returned. “We can stay if you want, but alcohol is served here, and the live entertainment coming up may be unsuitable for children. I’m sorry, Heather, I didn’t know.”

  Before she could respond, Gary spoke. “Can we go get pizza?”

  Heather placed a hand on Gary’s shoulder, hinting he should be quiet. She smiled at Howard. “Of course, you wouldn’t have known. We don’t mind trying someplace else.”

  While they waited for the car, Gary studied Howard as if trying to make a decision. After a moment, he asked, “Don’t you like pizza?”

  Howard’s laugh rang out, and Heather relaxed. Howard might not be as cool as Ricky’s dad, but he wasn’t a total jerk either. He clapped a hand on Gary’s shoulder and said, “Sure I like pizza. Who doesn’t? And, you know what? I think I know the place to go.”

  A wide grin covered Gary’s face as he shouted, “Yes!”

  ~*~

  Heather stopped her van in front of the daycare the next morning behind Matt’s blue SUV. A quick glance toward the playground revealed no children, so she assumed he had come alone. He stepped from his vehicle and met her as she opened her van door.

  “Hi,” His grin sent awareness through her, surprising her.

  “Hi,” Keeping her voice cool, she unlocked the front door of the day care. “I’ll leave you to your work. I have some paperwork to do.”

  “You put in way too many hours.”

  “Yes, well….” She hurried down the hall to her office. Nothing urgent waited on her desk, but she wouldn’t let Matt know. Maybe she could use the time to figure out why she’d let him fix her door. No, she’d be better off thinking of something else. Anything that didn’t include a tall, good-looking man with three children.

  Heather sat at the desk and pulled food charts from her file drawer. While she counted attendance and noted the total for each meal and snack, she thought of her date the night before. Howard had been a good spor
t, she’d give him that.

  He’d looked out of place in the noisy pizza restaurant, so wild and totally kid-oriented. Gary and Candace loved the food, games, and constant activity.

  Heather smiled as she remembered the look on Howard’s face when Candace tried to share her pepperoni pizza with him and a drop of tomato sauce landed on his immaculate blue pinstriped pants. He gamely tore the end from her pizza and popped it in his mouth before blotting the mess with a paper napkin and assuring her the cleaners could take the grease stain out. Heather didn’t expect another call from him anytime soon.

  She finished the row of figures and totaled them, sighing deeply. After Howard’s quick goodbye at the door, she’d ushered two sleepy children into a house reeking of cigarette smoke. With barely controlled patience, Heather put the two younger children to bed, Candace in her room and Gary in Brad’s, before she turned to her oldest.

  “Brad, are you awake?” She wanted to yell, accuse him of smoking and demand to know where he’d gotten cigarettes. But, she sensed that would be the wrong move.

  “No.” The muffled word from under the covers said he didn’t want to be disturbed.

  She sat on the bed and put her hand on his shoulder giving him a gentle shake. “Brad, I need to talk to you.”

  “Mom, it’s late.” He sat up so quickly she jerked back. “Did that guy hurt you?”

  Heather stared as an indignant frown twisted his face. Brad cared more than he let on. She stored the information away to analyze later. Now she shook her head. “No, of course not. Howard is a very nice man.”

  Brad slumped back into bed and pulled the blanket up to his chin. “Can’t this wait ‘til morning then? I’m tired.”

  “Brad, I smelled cigarette smoke as soon as I stepped in the front door.”

  “Probably your imagination or some left over from your night out.” His words slurred as he held the blanket over his mouth.

  “Howard doesn’t smoke, and we went to a restaurant geared for children. No smoking allowed.” She tugged the covers. “Now, why don’t you tell me what went on here tonight?”

  “Will you go away if I tell you?” In the dim glow from the street light outside his window she studied his open eyes.

  She nodded. “All right.”

  “Dirk stopped by. He smoked one cigarette, maybe two. No big deal.”

  “That’s all?”

  “If you mean did I smoke one, too, I didn’t. If you don’t want me to have any friends, fine. I’ll stay cooped up at home alone all the time. Everything I do is wrong, anyhow. Life stinks.”

  “I’m sorry, Brad.” She frowned. Why should she apologize to him when he let kids smoke in her house? “From now on tell your friends they can’t smoke here, all right?”

  “Sure, Mom, whatever you say. I’ll dump my friends just like you and Dad dumped us.”

  His words cut to her heart like an arrow. “What do you mean?”

  “You know.”

  “No, I don’t know.”

  He scowled. “Dad went off and left us, and you’re never here anymore. Now I can’t have friends, either.”

  Heather stood, her voice sharp from hurt. “Brad, I don’t know how this conversation got so turned around, but the things you are saying are not true. Your father died. He didn’t have a choice in leaving. As for me being gone all the time, I work to provide a living for you.”

  “Yeah, well we’re still orphans.”

  Heather rubbed her forehead. She didn’t know how to answer him anymore. Somehow he’d turned the blame on her, and she couldn’t handle that. Not now. Not when his accusations held a measure of truth.

  “I’m going to bed.” Heather crossed the room to the door. “I love you, Brad.”

  She paused long enough to hear a mumbled, “Love you, too.”

  That was last night. This morning Brad had been in a better mood. He even offered to stay with Gary and Candace this morning. No telling what kind of mood he’d be in when she returned.

  Heather allowed her mind to roam as she finished the food charts. She’d love to spend more time with her kids. Brad wasn’t the only one who felt neglected. Running a day care took at least twelve hours a day and paperwork had a way of piling up, eating into her weekends. Of course the kids didn’t understand, but she had to make a living. When she saved enough for their new house, she would slow down. Then everything would go back the way it had been before. Except for Darrell. Nothing could bring him back.

  “Your knob’s as good as new now.” Matt’s cheerful voice sounded at her open door. “I tightened the hinges, too.”

  “Oh, you’re certainly quick. Thank you.”

  “No problem.

  He started to turn away but stopped. “By the way, you all are coming over tomorrow afternoon for the barbecue, aren’t you?”

  Heather’s heart constricted at his reminder. She tried to think of a good excuse.

  “Becka sure is looking forward to you being there. She’s been planning on what to cook ever since she invited you.” He chuckled. “She even had Ricky cleaning house this morning when I left. I figured one or the other of them would call to complain, but I haven’t heard a thing. I reckon that means they’re either getting along or…” He shook his head. “Nah, I’ll count on them getting along.”

  Heather realized Matt’s home situation wasn’t so different from hers. Except Becka seemed to have adjusted to the loss of her mother a lot better than Brad had to his father’s death. She sighed as she realized she had no choice. She couldn’t disappoint Becka.

  “I suppose we can come.”

  “Great.” Matt’s grin showed his approval. He fished a piece of paper from his shirt pocket and handed it to her. “Here’s our address. Becka made me promise to give this to you.”

  “Thanks.” Heather took the folded paper and laid it aside. “Becka is a sweet girl.”

  His grin widened. “Yeah, I think so. She likes you a lot, and she feels useful here, like she has a real job. I appreciate what you’ve done for her.”

  “Becka does as much work as the rest of us. If she were older, I’d offer her a real job.” Heather searched Matt’s smiling face. “What are you planning for after-school care? If you’d like, Ricky can stay here for half pay while Becka continues to help.”

  Matt’s smile faded. “I’ve been lining up jobs almost faster than I can get to them. I can pay for my kids, Mrs. Conway.”

  “I’m sorry.” Heather flushed. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I’m sure you can pay. I’m thinking of Becka. I’d really like to employ her, but I can’t. She’s too young. She enjoys what she’s been doing, and she is learning, gaining experience. By charging only half for Rickie, I am able to soothe my conscience. If Becka wants to, that is.”

  “Oh, she wants to, all right.” He shook his head with a quick laugh. “Looks like you and my daughter have me over a barrel. Okay, she can stay on as long as it doesn’t interfere with her schoolwork. I appreciate knowing my kids are taken care of while I work.”

  Heather smiled. “Thanks. I’ll bring corn on the cob and some brownies tomorrow. My dad lives outside town a few miles. He always puts in a garden, and I get more vegetables than we can eat.”

  “Sounds good.” Matt flashed a grin before disappearing out the door.

  ~*~

  “Do you think they’ll come?” Becka asked for the tenth time since church dismissed.

  Matt shrugged, unwilling to promise something he wasn’t sure of himself. “She said they would.”

  He slapped a steak on the grill. Hamburgers and hotdogs sizzled beside the steak, which he hoped would impress Heather and take away the idea he was a charity case. Foolish, but for some reason he didn’t want her looking down on him. On the other hand, she didn’t have to know he had plenty of money, either.

  “They’re here.” Becka’s call from the side yard brought Ricky running with Kristi toddling behind.

  Matt resisted the urge to follow the kids. He didn’t want to ap
pear too eager, although he was glad they’d come. For Becka’s sake.

  He stepped away from the grill where he could watch Heather. She wore blue jeans and a red knit shirt. Not many women looked so elegant in casual clothes, especially when lifting a toddler from the back of her van.

  Gary ran around the van to meet Ricky. With a quick word, the two boys ran into the yard and headed for the tree house in the back corner. The tree house had been an enticement when Matt looked for a place to rent. Not that he planned to stay long, but he figured the kids would enjoy it until he found the right spot to build their house.

  Candace went straight to Becka who crouched down to talk to the little girl while Kristi leaned against her leg. When Heather reached the girls, Becka stood and took one of the containers from her. Her voice carried to Matt.

  “You didn’t need to bring anything. Dad’s cooking you and him a steak. We figured the kids would want hot dogs or a hamburger. I’ve got everything else in the house waiting.”

  Matt felt a bit of satisfaction when Heather’s eyes widened and sought his at the mention of steak. Behind her, the van door slid open, and Brad stepped out. He slammed the door and glanced around with a sullen expression on his face. Matt figured he wanted them to know he’d been forced to come.

  “Hey,” Matt included the entire Conway family in his greeting. “I sure am glad you’re here. Make yourselves at home.”

  “I’m going to help carry Heather’s stuff inside, Dad.” Becka took a second large bowl from Heather, leaving her with another covered dish. She led her around the house to the back door. The two little ones scampered in with them. Before the door closed, Becka yelled over her shoulder. “We’ll bring everything out when your meat is ready.”

  Brad stood inside the gate as if he didn’t know what to do. Matt refused to believe the young teen didn’t want to be friends. More likely he felt cheated by his father’s death and wasn’t sure how to deal with his loss.

  Matt called across the yard. “Hey, Brad, could you give me a hand here?”

  Brad shrugged, but crossed the lawn quickly enough.