They joined the boys at the intersection and braked to wait for traffic to clear. “Gary and I can turn off here and ride home. You don’t need to go out of your way.”
“I always see a lady to her door especially when her chariot is a bicycle.”
They crossed the street, but Heather’s mind wasn’t on traffic. Instead she visualized Matt escorting a beautiful woman, minus three children, to the door of a mansion, and she didn’t like the thought one bit.
At her house, Matt told Ricky to wait before he turned to Heather. “Would you like for me to pick Brad and Gary up for Sunday school in the morning, or can I talk you into coming and bringing them?”
Heather slipped off her bike, but left Candace in the child carrier. She stared at her hands on the handlebars then up at Matt. “Would you mind terribly picking them up?”
His brows drew together as if she’d insulted him. “No, of course not.”
“Thank you.” She asked so much of Matt, what would it hurt to attend church just once? Before she lost her nerve, she said, “But, you won’t have to bring them home because I plan to be at church. I won’t go to Sunday school, though.”
“That’s great.” Matt’s eyes shone with approval.
He glanced toward the two boys who were deep in their own conversation. His eyes again met hers. “I really enjoyed today. I think you know I’m attracted to you. I think you might like me a little, too.”
His grin had her wondering if her heart could pound its way out of her chest. His words didn’t help. “This friendship thing we’ve started could turn into something permanent if we’re not careful.”
She held her breath. His grin disappeared, and he looked beyond her as if seeing what wasn’t there. “Trouble is, I learned a couple of years ago how fragile life is. Then, too, last time I counted noses I came up with a few more than any woman, even one as capable and wonderful as you, should be responsible for if something happened to me.”
Why did his words hurt so much when he only voiced her concerns? She lifted her chin. “What exactly do you have in mind? Friendship or a clean break?”
He covered her knuckles, white from gripping the handlebars, and sent her heart into overdrive again. He looked down and then into her eyes. “No, I don’t think I could handle a clean break. Can’t we stay friends?”
Heather nodded, as her heart broke.
~*~*~*~
~Eleven~
Matt pedaled away from Heather’s without looking back. He hated the hurt in her eyes. A short laugh tore from his throat. Who was he kidding? He didn’t want a mere friendship with her any more than she did. Somehow he had fallen in love with Heather Conway. Not just Heather, either. He cared way too much for all three of her kids. Even Brad.
“Ricky, turn left here. We’ll go by the church and see if the kids are back.” Matt called to his son who kept a couple of lengths ahead of him.
When Ricky made the turn, Matt’s mind went back to his problem. He could ask Heather to marry him, but what if something happened to him? She’d already lost one husband. She was probably as gun-shy as he was.
“Hey, Dad, they’re back.” Ricky raced ahead and slid to a stop in the churchyard. He jumped from his bike and ran to the teens gathered in the parking lot.
Matt took Kristi from the child carrier before letting his bike fall beside Ricky’s. Claude Barnes, the youth pastor, waved and stepped away from the group as Matt headed toward the kids.
“Hi, got your own bike ride going, huh?”
The men shook hands. “Yeah, Ricky figured if Becka got to do something fun, he should too, so we took a picnic to the park.”
“Sounds fair to me. Maybe when he’s older, he’d like to be a puppeteer like his sister.” Claude glanced back toward the kids. “She’s a real asset to the puppeteers and to the church. Brad’s coming right along, too. He’s a good kid.”
Matt wondered how often the adults in Brad’s life saw potential buried under the sullen, touch-me-not attitude he often portrayed. He glanced at the kids and saw Brad laugh with the others over a shared memory. Maybe he hadn’t shown his sullen side today. Becka looked up and came running.
“Daddy, we had so much fun. Where’s Heather?” She lifted her sister from his arms. “Hey, did you miss me?”
Brad joined them. “I’m riding my bike home.”
“We can ride a ways with you.” Matt indicated his and Ricky’s bikes.
“Why don’t I give you this first?” Claude handed Matt a flyer. “We’ve got a campout coming up, hopefully before the weather gets too cold. This will tell you about it. If you have questions, my number’s at the bottom. For this outing, we could use some more chaperones, so I’d appreciate if you’d give it some thought and let me know tomorrow at church. Should be fun.”
Matt stuffed the flyer in his pocket and nodded. “All right, I’ll see what I can do. Camping sounds like fun, but I’d have to bring the two little ones along.”
“Not a problem.” The youth pastor grinned. “My wife and our two preschoolers will be there.”
Claude handed Brad a flyer for his mom and turned away to catch other parents. Matt and the kids rode with Brad until they reached their turn.
He waved as he took off toward home and they turned the other direction with Ricky taking the lead.
“So, how did your picnic go?” Becka’s eyes gleamed as if she was interested in more than their food.
Matt considered playing dumb, but he knew what she wanted. In fact, she wanted the same thing he did. The very thing they couldn’t have. He shrugged.
“We had a great time. The food tasted good, the kids played together, and everyone got along. No one got hurt until we left Heather and her kids at their house.”
“What do you mean hurt?” Becka frowned.
Matt stared at the street ahead. “Let’s just say Heather and I came to the conclusion that whatever is going on between us is no more than friendship and never will be anything more.”
“Why, Dad?” Becka stopped her bike and faced him, her expression filled with concern.
“Several reasons, Becka. I think you know most of them.” He gave a short laugh and motioned for her to move. “Ricky’s getting too far ahead.”
Would she understand better if he named six of the reasons? Brad, Gary, Candace, Ricky, and Kristi, not to mention herself.
“You mean because Heather isn’t a Christian?”
“No,” he shook his head. They caught up with Ricky and crossed an intersection.
As Ricky again took off without them, he added, “I think Heather is a Christian. From what she’s said, she took her husband’s death pretty hard when everything crashed down around her. Besides her husband, she lost her home and nice things along with their source of income. She feels she can’t trust anyone, including God.”
“But, a Christian has to trust God, don’t they? No matter how big our problems or how many we have. He’s able to take care of us through anything.” Becka turned the corner toward their house and Matt quickly caught up.
He glanced at his daughter. How could she understood? She still had child-like faith. Of course she couldn’t see problems the way he did. He could never expect Heather to commit to raising his kids with or without him. Only a child would be so irresponsible.
Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein.
The words from the Gospel of Mark hit Matt with enough force to cause him to waver on his bike. Ricky had already pulled into the driveway at the house. He stood waiting for Matt and Becka to catch up.
As Matt opened the garage door so they could store their bikes, he thought of his conversation with Becka. He lifted Kristi from the carrier and let her run to her sister, chattering about her day. The kids’ voices surrounded him in a familiar cadence that became background noise while a debate raged in his mind. Had his wife’s death taken a toll on his Christian beliefs without his knowledge? Had he lost faith w
hen he thought he couldn’t be any more grounded in the word of God? He shoved the questions to the back of his mind to answer more immediate ones, such as Ricky’s.
“What’s for supper, Dad?”
~*~
Seventeen hours later, Matt sat in church and watched the door like a teen boy watching for the most popular girl in school. Fellow worshipers entered and crossed the sanctuary, speaking to others before finding a place to sit. Several spoke to him, but he always turned toward the door when they left.
Heather stepped into the sanctuary and stopped with Candace in her arms. She looked ready to bolt. Before Matt could move, Becka thrust Kristi into his lap and hurried to the back. The tension in Heather’s face relaxed. He started breathing again when Heather followed Becka down the aisle to their pew.
Becka stepped back. “You go ahead. I’m an acolyte this morning.”
Heather gave her a puzzled look before her expression cleared and she nodded. “Oh, of course. You light the candles in front. I’d forgotten.”
She slipped into the pew, which put her next to Matt. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” He whispered.
She seemed flustered, as she adjusted Candace on her lap. She leaned toward him and whispered. “I could have found another place to sit.”
“No way.” He grinned as his youngest daughter reached for Heather. “Kristi’s been looking for you.”
The warm smile that covered Heather’s face nearly took his breath away. When she held her hands out, Kristi lunged toward her as Candace crawled from her mother’s lap to Matt’s.
“Hey, girl, I wondered when you’d come to see me.” He hugged the little girl and settled her on his lap as the service began.
He noticed some smiles directed their way, but he didn’t mind. Although he’d like nothing better than to be linked with Heather and her three kids, he couldn’t be. Not now. Maybe never.
Heather leaned forward to hear whatever Kristi whispered in her ear. Matt couldn’t stop the smile that touched his lips. With Heather on the road back to her faith, she had to be the closest to perfection he’d seen since his wife’s death. Yeah, near perfection pretty well summed up his feelings for Heather. If only their union would not be the biggest mistake Heather could make, he would ask her today to marry him.
By the time the service ended, Matt hoped Heather had heard more of the sermon than he did. He’d been too aware of her presence to listen. He figured the best thing would be to tell her he was glad she came, gather his kids, and leave, but Becka chose that moment to interfere.
“Heather, we want you to go for pizza with us. Please say you will.” She turned innocent eyes toward her father. “Daddy still has those coupons we didn’t use before, isn’t that right, Daddy?”
Matt blinked, as he realized he very much wanted Heather to go with them. “Yes.” He looked into Heather’s eyes. He had to say something before she said no. “Yes, I do. We don’t want them to go to waste.”
“I don’t think—”
“Are we going for pizza?” Ricky and Gary ran up behind them.
“Hey, count me in.” Brad appeared behind Heather. When she turned with surprise written on her face, Matt knew they’d be eating out.
“Well, if you’re sure it’s all right.” She turned back to him, and a smile he couldn’t stop covered his face.
“It’s more than all right, Heather. Do we take my Bronco or your van?”
She laughed. “Didn’t we go through this when we went for ice cream? Tell me again how many your Bronco holds?”
He grinned. “Legally?”
She shook her head. “Come on, everyone. We’re taking my van, and I’m driving.”
After being stopped more times than Matt wanted to count while her former friends and pastor welcomed Heather back to church, they finally reached the parking lot.
Matt made a mental note to get Becka alone later and explain she should stop setting him up with Heather. Then he turned his attention to the kids and soon forgot his concerns. He laughed with the rest when Gary and Ricky told about a boy in their Sunday school class who thought Moses built the ark.
~*~
“Ucky.” Kristi held tiny fingers dripping with cheese toward Heather.
Heather laughed and wiped Kristi’s hands with a napkin. She loved being with Matt and the kids. At the moment nothing else mattered.
Matt’s baritone sounded above the children’s noise. “What did you think of church? Has it changed any?”
“No, I don’t think so.” She’d felt so frightened that morning when she stepped through the door into the sanctuary. Only Becka rushing back to meet her had kept her from turning around and walking out. When she sat next to Matt, his smile of welcome and the sweet spirit of God moving throughout the worship service confirmed in her heart she had done the right thing by attending.
That morning she’d taken the first step of a long walk back to her heavenly Father.
“Hey, Brad, whatcha doin’, man?”
Heather looked up to find two boys at least three years older than her son standing by their table. She didn’t recognize either boy.
“Hey, guys. Anything goin’ down?” Brad glanced at Heather and away.
“Yeah, we’ll be down on the hill. You comin’?”
“I don’t know.” Brad’s eyes shifted toward Matt before facing the boys again. “Nah, I’ve got homework.”
“Oh, sure.” The spokesman’s gaze slid past Heather and Matt before focusing on Brad again. “Gotcha. Hey, man, we’ll see you around. Take care.”
As the boys left, Heather gave Brad a quick smile to show her approval, but he didn’t look her way. Matt reached across Candace to enclose Heather’s hand in a warm, although too brief, squeeze, and she knew he understood.
~*~
That evening Matt tucked his kids in bed after their prayer time together in the living room. While Becka helped Kristi into her nightgown, he went into Ricky’s room. Ricky jumped into bed and let his dad pull the covers past his shoulders.
His wide, innocent eyes met Matt’s. “I like doing stuff with Gary’s family.”
Matt sat on the edge of the bed. He remembered the fun they’d had at the playground after they finished eating. “Yeah, we had a pretty good time, didn’t we?”
“Sometimes I really miss Mom.”
“Me, too, son.” Matt swallowed against the knot that formed in his throat at the mention of his wife. He hadn’t thought of her for several days. How could he forget Eva? She’d been more important to him than anyone or anything at one time.
“Do you like Heather?”
“Do I like…?” Matt stared at Ricky. “Yes, of course, I like Heather.”
“You know Mom’s not going to come back, don’t you?” Ricky’s eyes looked big in the dim light of his bedroom.
Matt stood. “If you have something to say, Ricky, by all means, go right ahead.”
“I just think Mom wouldn’t care if you marry Heather. That’s all.”
“I see.”
“I don’t care, either.”
“I see.” A grin tugged at the corners of Matt’s mouth. He bent to place a kiss on his son’s head. “Tell you what. I’ll give it some thought.”
“Okay.” Ricky turned over and closed his eyes as Matt stepped into the hall.
In the girl’s room, he found Kristi ready for a hug and kiss. She settled down in her bed while he checked on his oldest daughter.
“So, how’s Becka? Ready for school tomorrow?”
“Sure. I’m fine, Dad.”
He bent over the bed and planted a quick kiss on her forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning then.”
As he turned away, her voice stopped him. “Daddy.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think Heather is all right now spiritually? I mean she went to church today, and she’s awfully nice.”
He gave a short laugh. Did the kids have a conspiracy going on? With a glance toward Kristi who appeared to
be sleeping, he sat on Becka’s bed.
“If you’re going to tell me it’s okay to marry her, I already got that from Ricky.”
Becka smiled. “Really? That’s great. So we all agree she’s the one.”
“Whoa. Do I get a vote?”
“Well sure, Dad, but we already know how you feel. At least, we think we do.”
Matt took a deep breath. “How I feel doesn’t much matter when you start counting kids.”
“There’s only six. What’s wrong with that?” Becka’s expression drooped. “People in the old days had twice that many.”
“In case you hadn’t noticed, this isn’t the old days.” Matt let a sigh escape. “What if something happened to me and she had to take care of all of you?”
Becka covered her father’s hand with hers. “I know her husband died, but God was with her even if she doesn’t know it, and He would be again. Brad and I are old enough to take care of ourselves. That leaves four kids to worry about and we’d help. Besides, what makes you think you’ll die if you marry her?”
Matt shook his head. “You amaze me sometimes, Becka. But, the truth is, sometimes bad things happen to people. It did before. It could again.”
“Doesn’t the Bible say we shouldn’t take thought for tomorrow because sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof?” She laughed. “I’ve been trying to memorize that, but I haven’t got it yet. I think what it means is we should trust God to take care of our tomorrows. If you and Heather love each other and you both love Jesus, then you shouldn’t worry about what might happen.”
Matt stood and looked down at his daughter. She’d been forced to grow up faster than she should have. He thanked the Lord she had turned to Jesus rather than away. There’d only been a short time right after Eva died when she’d had some problems, but they hadn’t lasted long. He gave credit to his wife for the Christian influence she’d been for her children. They were good kids. He’d been blessed beyond what he deserved.
“I’ll think about what you’ve said, Becka. I’ve got a lot of praying to do before I pop the question to anyone. You asked if Heather is all right now. I think she’s a Christian who has been going through a trial. Her faith is being tested, but maybe mine is, too. I believe she’ll come through this.”
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