Learning to Lean

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Learning to Lean Page 15

by Mildred Colvin


  “Maybe the way you look at things makes a difference.” He searched her face, his dark eyes holding a question she didn’t understand.

  Certain he meant more by his comment than met the eye, she only gave a quick smile and nod before turning back to watch the water skim past. “Yes, I suppose that’s true.

  Matt lifted Kristi from Heather’s side where she’d stayed since they boarded the boat. He sat beside her and leaned against the railing with his little daughter on his lap. “I thought camping with a two-year-old might be more than I could handle.”

  Heather saw the hint of a smile and warmth in the depths of his brown eyes directed at her even as he gave Kristi a hug. “Between you and Becka, I’ve scarcely seen this girl.”

  “I’m sorry,” Heather said. “It wasn’t my intention to keep her from you.”

  Matt laughed. “I’m not complaining. In fact, I want to thank you. I believe God led me to you. He knew exactly who I needed to bump into when I was new in town.”

  “Please,” Heather held her hand up and laughed. “Don’t remind me. I’m glad we met. Becka has been a wonderful influence on Brad, and Gary has a good friend.”

  Matt met and held Heather’s gaze. “I’m glad we met, too, and for more than the kids.”

  What did he mean? Heather’s heartbeat increased under his steady gaze, until she looked away. “I love children. Caring for them is always a joy.”

  Candace tugged at Heather’s pants. Grateful for the distraction, she lifted her daughter and settled her on her lap.

  “Have you ever considered getting married again?”

  Heather choked and coughed. She turned to stare at Matt. Had he just proposed? He looked out across the water with his brows dipped, obviously unaware of the shock he’d given her. She breathed again. He’d only been making conversation, yet her face warmed at her initial reaction.

  What would he say if she told the truth? That the thought of marriage to him was trapped in her mind like a bird in a cage refusing release. No matter how many times she turned the idea loose, it always flew back to roost in the deepest part of her conscience. But she could never marry a poor man. She’d never forget the first year after Darrell died, watching her children go to bed with barely enough in their bellies to keep them until morning. She had learned how to shop at used clothing stores and yard sales to cover her children’s growing bodies. She knew the humiliation of taking bankruptcy to pay the bills after the bank foreclosed on her beautiful new home. She’d had no work experience and had endured disappointment when prospective employers implied two years of college without a degree was no better than a high-school diploma. But she also knew the satisfaction of starting her own business and making it succeed.

  Heather’s gaze swept across the boat to include all six children. Hers and Matt’s. She felt like crying. If she remarried, she would find a man who could afford to give her children more than they had now. She would have to marry Howard.

  She focused on Matt’s face and nodded. “There is a man who has implied he might like a permanent relationship.”

  Matt frowned. “Then are you—”

  “No,” she interrupted. “We’ve only dated a few times. He seems to like the kids, though.”

  “So, you think you’ll marry this man?”

  Kristi, content on her daddy’s lap, squealed and pointed toward a bird flying low over the water before taking off again. She and Candace clapped and laughed, causing an ache in Heather’s heart. She glanced to the other side of the boat where Becka and Brad were deep in conversation. Gary and Ricky sat nearby playing with a magnetized checker game. Matt would be so easy to fall in love with, and she already loved the children.

  “Heather?”

  She turned back at Matt’s voice and forced a quick laugh past the lump in her throat. “Sorry, I was thinking.”

  “You don’t have to answer, you know. In fact I’m withdrawing the question.”

  “No, that’s all right. The only problem is, I don’t know. He has a lot of money, but no children.”

  “And that’s a bad thing?”

  Heather laughed. “Not bad, just boring.”

  As Matt joined in her laughter, the boat turned back to dock.

  That night Heather lay in her sleeping bag listening to the deep-throated bullfrogs’ serenade. In the distance, high in the trees, she heard the call of a whippoorwill answered by a Bob White. Her body felt a pleasant sort of tired, but she couldn’t sleep. The conversation she’d had with Matt kept running through her mind. She waited until the girls slept and then she slipped outside.

  Dressed in baggy sweats and her hooded jacket to ward off the autumn chill of evening, she zipped up the tent door and turned toward the picnic table. Matt sat watching her.

  At first startled, she held her hand to her chest. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were out here.”

  “Come on over and sit down.” He sat backward to the table facing the glowing embers of their campfire. A tiny spiral of smoke rose, adding the gentle scent of pine to the air. He patted the bench. “It’s warmer on this side.”

  When she settled beside him he spoke. “The boys were out as soon as their heads touched the pillows.”

  She smiled. “The girls, too.”

  “I was thinking about the devotional tonight.”

  After a potluck supper with the entire camp, one of the pastors had led a short service of song and devotional. He’d spoken of salvation and putting one’s trust in God. Heather had prayed Brad would listen.

  “When my wife died, I didn’t know if I could take care of the kids. Not financially, I’ve always been able to get jobs. But the day-to-day care staggered me.” Matt spoke in a low confidential tone. “At first I wondered if they would be better off in foster care. One of the ladies from our church babysat Kristi and the older kids after school. We had our days pretty well covered, but the nights….”

  His voice broke and he cleared his throat. “Becka did what she could to help while Ricky broke every toy in his room. I thought Becka was fine until she got into a fight at school.”

  “She what?” Heather stared at him. Could Becka do anything wrong? The girl was nearly perfect.

  Matt chuckled. “Yeah, beat up a little boy who said something about Ricky.”

  “What did he say?”

  Matt shrugged. “I don’t know. She never would tell us. She was only eleven then and trying to carry the load of an adult. Both kids had a lot of anger inside. After the fight, which was so not Becka, I took them to counseling with our pastor. Not only were they angry at God, they were scared I would leave them. We spent the first year working through some pretty deep-seated issues. I still see things sometimes that let me know it’s going to take time for them to get over losing their mother, but thank God, we’ve come a long ways toward recovery.”

  “I understand.” Heather thought of Brad’s problems and Gary’s restless sleep. Losing their father had caused anger and insecurity for them as well.

  “‘Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.’ That’s the verse the pastor used tonight for his devotional. It’s one I had to learn to follow when I thought I stood alone.” He smiled. “The one that really got through to me, though, is found in Proverbs. ‘He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the Lord shall be made fat.’”

  Heather felt a twinge in her conscience. “What does pride have to do with trust?”

  “I can’t speak for everyone.” Matt hesitated before his low voice continued. “I tried to be everything to my kids while I worked longer hours than ever because coming home was no fun. After Becka’s fight, I had a long talk with my pastor. That’s when I saw my stiff-necked pride for what it was. I’d been too proud to admit I couldn’t do it all, and I finally saw what my pride had cost my kids. After some soul searching and prayer for direction, I sold my house and business and moved here. I even sold my new truck. Just kept the Bronco.
Figured it was all I really needed. You know the rest of the story. Putting my life totally in God’s hands is still a struggle, but I’m working on it. At least Becka and Ricky are happier.”

  Heather thought about Matt’s confession and questioned her own pride. Did her fear of falling back into poverty, even for a short time, indicate pride in her life? Because she didn’t trust God to take care of her, she worked hard and saved every extra penny. She’d been afraid to relax and enjoy time with her children. Until she met Matt and his family, she often worked seven days a week trying to cut corners and save expenses in any way she could. Seeing her own life through Matt’s experience gave her something to think about. Maybe something to pray about, too.

  ~*~*~*~

  ~Fifteen~

  The open-air chapel by the lake consisted of a concrete floor and shingled roof held up by wooden posts placed ten feet apart with a good view of the sparkling blue water of Lake Lancaster. Camp chairs became the pews filled with an eager congregation. The floor could not contain everyone who crowded in to watch the teen puppeteers minister in their unique way.

  Matt and Heather steered the four youngest children to the service early. They grabbed seats near the front with a clear view of the stage that had been set up earlier.

  “This is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made.” The song leader began singing without introduction, and the congregation joined in.

  A puppet jumped up from behind the stage and added his squeaky voice. A ripple of laughter swept through the gathering as the chorus continued with puppets popping up to blend their off-key voices with the others.

  When the song ended, a discussion among the puppets began as they talked about the weekend and the fun they’d had. Their conversation led into a lesson on sharing and getting along with each other.

  One of the young male puppets started jumping and yelling, “I know, I know!”

  “What do you know?” An old man puppet asked.

  “Getting along together. Having fun. Eating. It’s like that threefold thing in the Bible.”

  A discussion followed as the puppets tried to think of scriptures that mentioned the word threefold. When they couldn’t, they asked one of the pastors to help.

  Pastor Claude stepped to the front facing the puppets. “There’s a scripture in Ecclesiastes that says, ‘And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Is that what you mean?”

  “Yeah, Yeah!” The puppet nodded his head so vigorously his hair covered his face. When he looked toward the ceiling and shook his hair back, everyone laughed.

  As the laughter grew quiet, the young puppet said, “That’s what I mean. We’re having a great weekend because we have food, fun, and God here.”

  Another puppet spoke up. “We have moms, dads, and kids.”

  And another yelled, “Water, sunshine, and, and—a boat.”

  “Whoa!” The pastor held up his hand and the puppets grew quiet. “That’s all true, but I think this verse is saying something more to us. When I think of being broken, I think of someone or something trying to cause harm.”

  He stepped into the center in front of the puppets and faced the congregation. “If I stand out here alone, I’m an easy target, right?”

  A figure in a dark cape with a hood hiding his face rose from behind the puppet stage and crept quietly toward the minister. The preacher kept talking as if he were unaware of the danger and didn’t hear the gasps from the audience. “I could be attacked by any number of enemies. Maybe discouragement or fear. I could be hit by worry or even a prideful spirit.”

  Heather gave a soft gasp as much from the oversized sledge-hammer the attacker lifted above the minister’s head as from the words the pastor used to describe some of the enemies of her soul. Enemies she realized she needed to fight. Just then another pastor stepped to Pastor Claude’s side. He stood with arms folded across his chest, watching to the side and behind the other minister.

  The attacker stumbled and backed up a couple of steps. He shifted to the unprotected side of the ministers and again began approaching.

  “My friend has joined to pray with me and lift me up when I’m discouraged or hurting. That’s wonderful. I’m feeling better already. I’m not as easy a target now, am I? Pastor Jones and I together make a stronger cord, but we have an unprotected side here.” He pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. “What if our attacker came in that way?”

  The dark-cloaked figure laughed in an unnatural evil-sounding voice. He lifted the large hammer again and crept forward. But at that moment, a man dressed in a white robe stepped out from the stage and slipped into the open space behind the men, spreading his arms out to either side. The three men stood in a triangle back to back.

  Their enemy froze with the hammer held high above his head before he dropped the weapon behind him, letting it clatter harmlessly on the concrete floor. The dark figure turned and ran away, disappearing behind the stage.

  The pastor said, “’Two shall withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.’ We need our brothers and sisters in Christ to pray for us and encourage us, but that isn’t enough. Without Jesus Christ to fill the gap, we are still open to attack. Learn this lesson from our puppets and find a prayer partner who can stand with you, but most of all put your trust in the Lord. We can’t make it through life on our own, folks. Don’t even try.”

  With the song leader’s help, the puppets led a closing song and their church service ended. As Brad and Becka ran to join them, Heather turned from the troubling thoughts the message had given her.

  Matt grinned at the kids. “You did great. I didn’t even recognize your voices.”

  “Brad had a big part.” Becka turned to include him. “He was the goofy guy with the long hair who came up with the Bible verse. I started the singing.”

  “You’re kidding.” Heather looked from one teen to the other and felt her heart swell with love for both of them. She shared a glance with Matt who seemed just as proud. “You both must be naturals. The whole thing seemed so professionally done. Becka, I didn’t know you could sing so well.”

  Color touched Becka’s cheeks as she grinned. “Actually, I can’t sing. That’s why they gave me the part of singing alone. I’m the best at sounding awful.”

  Matt hugged his daughter, and they laughed. “That’s still a talent, Becka. Think of all the great comedians who have made a fortune from sounding goofy. I’m proud of you.” He looked at Brad. “Both of you.”

  Throughout the next week Heather lived and worked in a warm glow left from her camping experience and from the changes in her son. Each day Brad showed up at the day care after school and tackled his homework in her office until Matt arrived, tools in hand.

  Matt and Brad finished siding the outer walls of the room on Friday evening while Heather closed the daycare and took the other five children home with her.

  Later she greeted them at her front door. “We saved a little for you if you’re hungry.”

  Brad headed toward the kitchen, but stopped in the doorway. “Aren’t you hungry, Matt?”

  “I’m starved, but I won’t be making anything on this job if you keep feeding me and babysitting my kids while I work.” His attention wavered from Heather to Brad and then to Kristi as she tugged on his jeans.

  Heather smiled. “This is only the third time this week, but who’s counting?”

  “At least you’re not.” Matt grinned and picked up Kristi, who shoved her coloring page in his face. “That’s pretty, sweetheart.”

  She squirmed to get down and Candace took her place. “I drawed a monkey.”

  “You sure did. He’s climbing a tree.” Matt gave her a quick hug and set her back on the floor with Kristi.

  “Hey, Dad, did you see what I did?” Ricky sat in front of the TV with Gary and Becka. He held a video game control and pushed buttons while his gaze never left the TV screen.

  Matt grinned at Heather and shrugged. “Hey
, are you winning?”

  She hid a smile. He had no idea what Ricky was talking about.

  “Not hardly.” Becka looked up with a smirk.

  Heather touched Matt’s arm and tugged him toward the kitchen. “Go get something to eat, Matt. The kids are in no hurry to leave, and they’ve already eaten.”

  “Remind me to deduct something from your bill.” He grinned at her. “Like probably the total amount due if you keep this up. And, hey, let’s take the kids shopping in the city tomorrow for paint and stuff for your room.”

  Heather’s eyes grew wide. “Our kids? All six of them?”

  She winced. When had she started thinking of them as a group of six kids instead of her three and his three?

  “Yeah, all six of them.”

  “Why on earth would anyone want…” She had never noticed the gold flecks in his brown eyes before. “to take a bunch of kids…” He had dimples, too, when he smiled. Really only the hint of dimples, but very nice. “shopping in the city? Isn’t that a form of self-torture?”

  Matt laughed. “I’d rather think of it as a scientific experiment.” He stepped through the doorway heading toward the kitchen. “To see if a man can withstand a day of shopping with six kids and a beautiful woman.”

  ~*~

  After making sure all the kids were buckled in, Heather handed her van keys to Matt.

  “Here you go.” She gave him a saucy grin. “This was your idea, so you can drive.”

  “No problem.” Matt opened the passenger door for her. He climbed into the driver’s seat and buckled up. “You know this will be fun.”

  “Sure I do.” Heather didn’t even want to think of all the reasons a normal person would hesitate to take six children to the city for a day of shopping. Of course two were teenagers who could be a big help or not, depending on their mood.

  She glanced over her shoulder at Becka between the two little girls in the middle seat. Brad had insisted on sitting between Ricky and Gary almost as if he wanted to keep them apart. She had never known him giving up a seat by the window before. She noticed him talking in a low tone to the younger boys as she turned back around. Brad had changed. There was no doubt about it. She crossed her fingers and breathed a prayer for this new Brad to stay for good.

 

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