“Teacher, we want to play checkers and Doug won’t let us.”
Heather brought her thoughts back to the confusion and noise of her daycare, glad to set her own shortcomings aside for another time. “Which would you rather do? Play checkers or go outside?”
The two boys’ eyes brightened. “Outside.”
“Whoa, let’s keep this quiet.” She held up a cautioning hand. “It’s pretty cool and a little damp out, so I’m only letting the bigger kids go.”
“Heather, telephone for you.” Jan called from the kitchen.
“Just a second, guys.” Heather hurried to the kitchen and took the cordless phone and held her hand over the mouthpiece. “Jan, if I fix snacks, would you mind taking the older kids outside. It’s pretty cold so only the ones who want to go.”
“Sure.”
Heather lifted the phone and was surprised when Howard said, “Heather, it sure is nice to hear your voice. Did you miss me?”
Miss him? Had he been gone? She pulled a package of cheese from the refrigerator. “Uh, where’ve you been, Howard?”
“Ah, you did miss me, didn’t you?” He didn’t give her time to respond. “I flew into St. Louis for a conference. Been gone all week. I got home yesterday, but haven’t had a moment to call until now. You aren’t mad at me for running off again without a word, are you?”
“Of course, not.” How could she be when she hadn’t given him a thought in more than a week?
“I decided we needed some time apart. You know, to see how we really feel about each other.” He paused.
She didn’t know what to say.
His voice dropped. “I missed you every minute I was gone, Heather.”
“Oh.” Heather pulled a box of crackers from the cabinet and tore it open.
“Listen, I’m not doing anything tonight. Why don’t we get together? I’ll take you someplace special where we can talk, catch up on what’s important to each of us. What do you say? Will seven o’clock work for you?”
“No,” She spoke quicker than she meant to. “I mean, I can’t tonight. I’ve already promised my kids we’d do something special, and they’re really looking forward to it.”
“Let’s see,” he didn’t sound concerned. “I’m busy until Friday. How about then? Would seven work for you?”
Heather nodded. “Yes, that would be fine. I’ll get a babysitter.”
“Great.” Howard’s voice lifted. “I’ll see you Friday. Wear something pretty.”
“All right.” Heather pushed the off button and laid the phone aside. She washed her hands and sliced cheese into two-inch squares, but her heart remained heavy until Becka appeared at the counter.
“Hey, that looks good. Can I help?”
“You sure can.” With a smile for the teenager, Heather shoved the platter toward Becka. “Wash your hands and make little sandwiches with cheese and crackers. The kids love them.”
“Be right back.”
Heather laughed as Becka twirled away and headed toward the bathroom. Howard was a nice man, but he couldn’t compete with three of the sweetest kids she’d ever met next to her own. Or their dad.
Her smile faded. Six kids. Would she ever get past the fear of taking on such a responsibility? Or the guilt of placing the same on Matt? Why then did she feel so cheated? Why did she want to say yes to a question that had never been asked, when she knew marriage to Matt would be the worst thing she could possibly do?
~*~*~*~
~Seventeen~
Matt stepped through the door as the last daycare child left. He held up a roll of masking tape and grinned. “Let’s get the battleground laid out unless you want to eat first.”
Heather’s heart pounded. He sounded far too much like a husband.
The kids swamped him, eager to start the water gun fight. He laughed and joked with them. Candace and Kristi ran to him and lifted their hands. He squatted and lifted one on each arm then looked past the kids to her. “Well, what’s your verdict? Do we start this gunfight now?”
Brad, Becka, Gary and Ricky crowded to either side of him. They turned to watch her with eager expressions. What was this? A seven-to-one standoff? She laughed. “Why don’t you go ahead and do whatever preparations need done while I finish the biscuits to go with our soup? We’ll eat first and spray later.”
He grinned and spoke over the enthusiastic voices of the kids. “Better hurry then. Something smells good enough to pull me right back in here.”
Forty minutes later, while the dishwasher scrubbed the empty pot and dirty dishes, Heather joined the others in the new room. Two folding chairs sat side-by-side midway of one wall with a bucket of water on the floor. When Heather sank to one of the chairs, Kristi crawled into her lap. She squeezed the little girl with a quick kiss.
“At no time can anyone cross these lines.” Matt pointed to the two strips of masking tape marking parallel lines about four feet apart on the floor. “Is that clear?”
Four heads nodded.
“We got it, so can we get started now?” Brad lifted his water gun with a pointed look at Gary. “I’ve got a twitch in my shootin’ finger.”
Matt lifted Candace into his lap as he sat in the folding chair beside Heather, and the older kids threw taunts at each other. “Okay, first one out of water ends a round. Heather and I will judge to see who is wettest. Ready? Go.”
Gary and Ricky crowded one line of tape while Brad and Becka stepped close to the other line. Twin jets of water arched from both sides, crossed in the middle and splattered the opposing teams. Becka’s squeal and Brad’s lower-pitched threats collided with the younger boy’s shouts of glee every time their aim found a target.
Heather heard Matt chuckle and thought how like a little boy he looked when he grinned at the kids. He laughed aloud when Brad caught a face full of water.
Then he turned and smiled at Heather. “I can’t think of any place I’d rather be tonight.”
Something warm and loving in the depths of his eyes pulled her ever closer. She smiled, unsure how to reply. If she could stay with Matt and the children and never worry about a house and food, clothing, shoes, school supplies and all the myriad of expenses that weighed her down now, she would be happy, too. Obviously that time would never come. She straightened when Brad lifted his water gun above his head.
“Stop!” He held both hands up. “First round’s over. I’m out of ammo.”
Two rounds later and Matt called a stop with Gary and Ricky declared the wettest duo. They ran off to change into dry clothes, so Brad handed their guns to Candace and Kristi and told them to shoot him if they could.
The two little girls caught on quickly and sprayed Brad. He stumbled backward and fell to the floor bringing squeals and laughter from the little girls who ran and piled on top of him, their guns forgotten. Heather shared laughter with Matt and wished the evening could continue without end. She loved the change in Brad. Surely Matt’s influence had been a large contributor. Brad needed a man in his life for guidance and stability. He needed a man like Matt. Why couldn’t she trust God to take care of them?
“Heather, could I talk to you?” Becka returned after changing into dry clothes. “Can we go into your office where it’s quiet?”
“Sure.”
Matt turned away, so Heather couldn’t read his expression, but from the quick way he organized the boys to help cleanup, she assumed he knew what Becka wanted.
Heather closed her office door and turned with a smile. “That should keep the noise level bearable.”
Becka laughed and leaned against the desk. “This really isn’t super important.”
“Anything that has to do with you is important.” Heather sensed nervous energy coming from Becka as she picked up a pencil and twirled it through her fingers.
Becka stared at the pencil in her hand. “Can you sew?”
“Yes, I suppose I sew well enough, although I’m no great seamstress.” Heather frowned, unsure where the conversation was headed. “With two boys
I’ve become pretty good at mending. Why, do you need something mended?”
“No,” Becka dropped the pencil and bent to pick it up. “It’s just…I mean at school…”
She stood and looked at Heather. A deep breath brought a rush of words. “I’m in home economics, and we’re sewing this quarter, so I’m making this dress to wear to the fashion show only I need a partner to make a dress, too, that kind of matches and wear it to the fashion show, too, and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have there besides you, Heather.”
Heather took a deep breath feeling as lost for air as Becka must be after such an explanation. Suspicion grew when she tried to see Becka’s averted eyes.
“Becka, what is this fashion show called?”
Barely speaking above a whisper, Becka answered. “It’s the annual Mother/Daughter Fashion Show.”
Her voice grew stronger. “But there won’t be many people there because it’s only for the class, and it’s right after school so probably only the teachers and maybe a few kids will be watching. It’s not a big deal, Heather, really. And if you don’t want to, I understand.”
When Becka moved as if to rush past Heather for the door, any resistance Heather had crumbled. “I would love to, Becka. It sounds like fun. We’ll need to go shopping for fabric and notions. How much time do we have?”
“Really?” Becka expression brightened as a smile covered her face. “Oh, two weeks. Is that okay? Dad said he would buy the stuff we need.”
Matt needed every penny he earned just as she did. Besides she couldn’t let him buy her a dress. “Two weeks is fine, and your dad can pay for yours. I’ll take care of my own. Why don’t we go shopping tomorrow right after school?”
“Oh, Heather, you are the greatest. I knew you would help me. Thank you so much.” Becka threw her arms around Heather for a quick hug before skipping out the door.
Feeling a little light-headed and unsure what she’d committed to, Heather stepped through the door and ran into a solid, but warm and yielding wall.
Matt’s hands closed around Heather’s upper arms. He stepped back, as he held her in place. “Careful there. If we don’t stop bumping into each other, someone could get hurt.”
She studied his teasing eyes and missed the warmth of her brief encounter with his chest. Why couldn’t they be more than friends? Why couldn’t Howard be more like Matt so she could fall in love with a rich man?
“Becka’s bouncing off the walls.” He grinned. “I assume that means you agreed to help her.”
“Yes, a fashion show should be a lot of fun.”
He chuckled. “If you say so.”
~*~
After a trip with Becka into the nearby city for matching fabric and patterns, Heather spent Wednesday evening cutting out her new dress. She started spaghetti for supper Thursday evening, hurrying since she was eager to begin sewing.
Brad walked into the kitchen and straddled a chair at the table. “What’s for supper?”
“Spaghetti.” Heather added sauce to the hamburger and stirred.
“Smells good.”
She looked at her oldest son. Something was on his mind. Concern for him squeezed her heart. “Brad, are you all right?”
He shrugged. “I’m fine.”
After a silence, he asked, “Hey, Mom, are you and Matt getting married?”
“What?” Heather fumbled the large spoon in her hand, sending it clattering across the stove and onto the floor. A trail of sauce and hamburger followed.
She turned to stare at Brad. “No, of course not. Why would you ask such a question?”
“’Cause I don’t see why not.” His mouth formed a stubborn line.
“Well, in the first place, he isn’t interested in me in that way.” She picked up the spoon and moved to the sink. “We’re just friends.”
Brad snorted. “Yeah sure. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and you look back the same way.”
Heather’s hand shook while she rinsed the spoon. She tore a length of paper towel and cleaned up the mess she’d made, all the time trying to regain her composure. “What makes you such an expert on the way people look at each other? I like Matt fine, but I would never marry him.”
“Why not? He’s the best guy that’s come around here since Dad died. If you’re smart you’ll snap him up. I bet there’s plenty of women who would take him in a minute. You could get him to marry you. I know you could.”
Heather inhaled a trembling breath. “Brad, it doesn’t matter how good a man is. I don’t need a husband. We’re doing fine. Besides, Matt has three kids. If I get married, I’ll marry someone like Mr. Howard. He doesn’t have children, and he’s quite wealthy. Now wouldn’t that be nice?”
“No.”
“Well, he practically asked me, and I’m going out with him tomorrow evening. So, if you really want me to remarry, I think Howard would be the best choice.”
“Mom!” Brad stared at her as if she’d sprouted two heads. “You don’t know anything, do you?”
He shoved the chair back and stormed from the room.
Brad refused to eat supper, and he didn’t show up at daycare Friday after school. Heather stood outside during playtime watching up the road for him to no avail. He was still angry with her. She couldn’t deal with him. Nothing she could say would bring his smile back. Please, Lord, don’t let him revert to the way he was before...before Matt. Take this obsession he has about Matt from him. Remove the feelings I have for Matt, too. Please, Lord, I can’t marry Matt.
Her breath caught and she pressed a fist against her mouth to stop the tears that burned her eyes. Did God hear her prayer? If a person prayed outside the will of God, would He listen? Did she even know God’s will?
Unease moved through her soul. She must push Matt from her life. Marrying a man who squeezed out a living doing odd jobs would be irresponsible. A wealthy man such as Howard could offer her children so much more. Why then did the thought of marriage to Howard seem so wrong? Was Brad right when he said she didn’t know anything?
A scripture verse she’d learned long ago entered her mind. Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. So Howard was her best choice for a secure future. Even as thy soul prospereth. Howard and Matt stood side-by-side in her mind. With which man would her soul prosper? Why did she feel there might be a deeper meaning to the verse than financial gain?
Heather shoved the uneasy feeling to the farthest corner of her mind and hurried across the playground to separate a couple of small boys fighting over the same swing.
Matt arrived early that evening to pick up his kids. He greeted Heather with a smile. “Hey, how about celebrating the completion of your new room? We could slip out later for another mug of hot chocolate.”
Although his appealing smile and hopeful look played tug-of-war on her emotions, Heather shook her head. “I can’t, Matt. I’m sorry, but I’ve got plans for this evening.”
“Oh.” His smile faltered. “I understand. We’ll make it another time then.”
The expression in his eyes said he didn’t understand, but Heather couldn’t explain. Not after her talk with Brad. Not when, more than anything, she wanted to go with Matt. She turned away to greet another parent who had arrived.
Knowing she wouldn’t have time to fix supper for the kids, she called in an order for pizza and picked it up on her way home. Relief swept over Heather when she saw Brad slumped in front of the television. He glanced up, ignoring her, but took his share of pizza. She didn’t have time to deal with him now. Howard would be there in an hour.
While the kids ate supper, Heather showered and dressed in her room. As she brushed her hair, she heard a light knock on her door.
“Come on in.”
Brad pushed the door open and stood in the doorway looking at her royal blue dress, two-inch heels, and pearl necklace with matching earrings. Finally his gaze met her eyes. “Where are you going?”
“I thought I told y
ou.” She forced a smile. “I have a date tonight for dinner and a movie. We’re going to Des Moines. Jan should be here any minute to stay with you guys.”
An expectant light brightened his eyes. “A date? With Matt?”
Heather sighed. “No, Brad. I’m going with Howard. I told you this last night.”
“Yeah, well I told you I don’t like Howard, but you obviously didn’t listen. Gary and Candace don’t like him either, Mom. We like Matt, and I think you do, too.”
She started to speak, but he cut her off. “Why are you doing this, anyhow? If you marry that pompous—”
“Just a minute, young man.” Heather stood, cutting off his tirade. “Howard has been nothing but nice to you and to Gary and Candace. There is no reason to dislike him just because you like someone else better. If I marry Howard, you will treat him with respect as I’m sure you will accept all the things he can do for you. Howard is a wealthy man, and you will benefit if he becomes your stepfather, but more than that, he’s a good man who you will learn to like.”
Heather realized she’d said too much when she recognized the shocked expression on Brad’s face. His next words confirmed her suspicions.
“You’re marrying him for his money, aren’t you?” Brad shook his head and turned to leave with one parting barb. “I never expected my mother to be a gold digger.”
The doorbell rang, leaving Heather no time to deal with the pain her son had inflicted on her raw emotions. She schooled her features into an outward calm and went to the living room. Jan stepped in followed by Howard.
“How nice, you got here at the same time.” Heather tried to ignore her oldest son who stood in the middle of the floor, his arms crossed over his chest with a scowl on his face.
“Hey, guys.” Jan greeted the kids, but Howard stood silently waiting just inside the door. Heather grabbed her coat and handed it to him. As he held it for her to slip into, she tried to catch Brad’s attention. He continued to glare at Howard. “You kids be good. Brad, I’m sure Jan could use your help with the little ones.”
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