The next few weeks were quiet. Ben still had to work a lot, but he was only gone during the day. I enjoyed our evenings together, usually sitting in the living room with a fire going. It was too cold to stay outside at night anymore. Matt kept coming with me to the reserve and taking me to lunch. He was still disappearing at night, and it made me curious what he did since he claimed he was never with a girl.
One morning at the reserve, after I’d helped with an ill koala, Martha was looking into one of the many notebooks she always wrote in after a case. I was still standing close to the koala, making sure it was OK, when Martha startled me by yelling, “That’s it!” We’d been being very calm and careful with the animal since it had such crazy claws, so I couldn’t help jumping, thinking it was about to attack or some such thing.
Still holding my hand to my heart from the surprise, I asked, “What?”
“Yesterday, in the afternoon. What was the last animal you transferred from before leaving?”
“A koala,” I replied. I hadn’t really meant to; I usually go for the larger animals but this one seemed like it could take it, so I just took a little bit.
“And today you were able to transfer to a koala.” She looked very excited, but I just looked at her with confusion.
Matt had been sitting on a chair nearby watching us and now he chimed in, “We’re not getting it, Martha.”
“Well, I could be wrong, but it seems to me that the times that you’ve transferred successfully to an animal, you’ve most recently taken energy from another animal of the same species. Remember, last week, that wallaby? It was fine, but the bird I brought in the same day, it didn’t work.”
“That’s true, but shouldn’t energy be the same across the board? Isn’t all energy just energy?” I asked.
“All blood is just blood, unless you try to transfuse the wrong kind into someone. Then it kills,” she reminded us.
“So you think that in order for me to transfer into something, I have to take energy from something that’s the same?”
“Yes. Think about it, Atty. I don’t know if you can remember every time that this has worked, but I’ve been taking notes, trying to figure out the key. Looking back now, I can definitely see a pattern.”
“That’s an interesting observation, Martha,” said Matt. His tone wasn’t excited though. It was almost—accusatory. I wondered what was up. I’d ask him later.
“We’ll have to test your theory then, Martha. Next time we have an emergency, I’ll try taking from a similar animal and see what happens.”
“Yes! We’ll definitely have to test it. It would be wonderful to know exactly how your talent works.”
That afternoon Matt and I stopped for lunch before going back to the house. He had been distracted the rest of the morning. He wasn’t talking much as we waited for our burgers to arrive.
“Are you all right, Matt? Am I keeping you from something you need to do?”
It took him a second to respond, “Hmm. Sorry. No. Not at all, Atty.”
“You seem to be somewhere else.”
“Yes, sorry. I’ve just been thinking about what Martha said this morning.”
“Her theory you mean?”
“Yes,” he responded.
“What about it? You don’t think she’s right?”
“No, actually I think she’s definitely right. I’m just concerned that she was watching you that closely. Like you were an experiment or something,” he said.
“She was just trying to help. She’s very dedicated to helping those animals.”
We both paused for a moment as the waitress set our plates down. Then he continued, “Yes. I suppose you’re right. It was just strange, realizing she’d been taking notes on everything you do. It creeped me out a bit.”
I laughed. “I didn’t realize you were the paranoid type.”
“Oh, certainly. Paranoid about everything.” He was serious for a moment, and I felt a weird anxiety beginning to form in my stomach, but then he smiled and stole one of my fries.
“You have a whole plate of fries in front of you. Get away from mine!” I protested.
“All things taste better when they’re stolen.” He smirked and raised one eyebrow, and I just laughed.
We tested Martha’s theory over the next few weeks. It seemed to work every time. She also had me try loading up on energy, waiting several days and then seeing if a transfer to any animal would work. It seemed that three days was the magic number. If I stored a lot of energy and then waited three days, it didn’t matter what type of animal I had transferred from before. It was as if by passing through me, that energy was filtered to match any other animal. It just took time.
Ben seemed really happy that we had finally figured out how my power worked. He said it was an amazing gift to have and that he couldn’t wait to see how well I used it. Matt seemed happy for me but still leery of Martha and her note-taking. I mentioned it to Ben, and he thought Martha was just used to treating everything like a scientist. I could certainly see his point, but occasionally Matt’s expression made me worry about it all.
One cold afternoon, Ben and I were enjoying some time alone in front of the fire. His brothers were still working, but they hadn’t needed him lately so we’d had a lot more time to just be together. I hadn’t been to the reserve in a few days. There had been no emergencies for more than a week, and I had wanted to just stay home to be with Ben.
We were cuddled up together on the couch, talking about random things when he brought up the clinic. They had opened it a couple of weeks before. “We’ve been getting a lot of patients, people with illnesses that can’t be cured. We have good doctors, but there are things even we don’t have the power to fix. Some of them are just here hoping for more time.”
“And can you give them that? More time?”
“Some of them yes, but most no. You could do it, though, Atty. You could give them more time.”
I turned to look at him then. “Are you asking me to help, Ben?”
“Yes.”
“But how would we explain it? What would we tell people? They’re going to wonder why they suddenly feel like they have more energy.”
“My brothers and I have already talked about it. We could pretend we have a new medicine. We give them sugar pills, or better yet, sleeping pills. You come in, transfer and when they wake up they’ve got a bit longer to live. I’m sure we could keep it discreet. If you were willing to help, that is.”
“Of course I’d be willing to help, but are you sure I can? I haven’t tried transferring to a human for a long time. What if it doesn’t work?”
“Humans are just like any other animal, I’m sure you could do it. You’d just have to be sure to load up on energy, then wait the right amount of time before transferring.”
“Are you sure? I don’t think I can handle experimenting on people.”
“Well, how about someone who’s really ill? Someone who wouldn’t have more than a few days anyway? I think it’s worth it to try, Atty. I’m sure it will work. Imagine all the people you could help!”
I told him I would think about it, and we moved on to lighter conversation. I wondered if I had the courage to try transferring to a human again. I couldn’t handle another loss like Nana; it had been horrendous. Yet, when I thought about how I could help, it really made me want to try.
A few days later, I asked Ben if he could take me to visit the clinic. The outside of the building was pretty and welcoming and when I first walked in I wondered how it was possible for anyone there to be sick. Then we walked farther inside.
“They’re so weak. So many,” I said as we walked down a corridor with patient rooms. I didn’t need to see the patients to know how ill they were; their energies were very distinct. Where a patient had guests, the contrast between energy levels was startling.
“Yes, most of the patients here are almost at the end. They’ve come as a last resort but for many there just isn’t any help.”
“Except me.”
“Except you.”
We kept walking, and Ben introduced me to some of the doctors and staff. He told them some story about me being there to evaluate how everything was running. He didn’t want them asking why I would keep coming around. I was surprised that most of the staff was human and commented on it to Ben.
“You know my father prefers to keep our business private. He prefers that my brothers and I take care of as much as possible without involving other Durand.”
As we approached the pediatric ward, I almost lost my composure. There were only about five children there at the moment but they were all badly in need of energy. I had stored quite a bit when I decided to come visit, so I asked Ben if I should try transferring.
“If you think you’ll be all right, then yes. But perhaps we should try on an adult first, just to make certain that everything is OK.”
I nodded, and we started walking back toward one of the adult wards. As we passed the last room in pediatrics though, I noticed an older woman staring at me through the door. I could feel a weak child in the room with her, but the woman was strong even though she looked like a grandmother. I almost stopped as her stare caught my eyes. She didn’t break contact until I walked past the door and could not see her. I wondered what that was about.
I followed Ben to Aldric’s office. I’d only seen him in passing in the past few weeks, just when he was at the house. Now he was sitting at his desk looking over someone’s medical file. He looked up when we walked in, though I was sure he had felt us coming down the corridor.
“Atty! Hey, how are you? Ben said you might be coming by.”
“Yes, I wanted to see if I could help.”
“I’m sure you can.”
“Atty says she wants to try transferring to someone. Is there anyone you recommend?” Ben asked.
Aldric nodded and started shuffling through his patient files. He pulled one out and held it toward us. Ben grabbed it and opened it to the first page. I didn’t bother trying to read it; I doubted I’d understand any of it anyway.
“He arrived the day we opened. He can’t even speak anymore. I doubt he has more than a day or two left.”
“How much do you think you can give, Atty?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure how to judge it by time.”
“You want to try, though?”
“Yes.”
Ben and Aldric went to speak to the family while I waited in Aldric’s office. They were going to tell them to clear the room because we had to try a new treatment. I wondered if they’d buy it, but Ben had said when you’re desperate, you don’t ask too many questions.
They came back 20 minutes later; they had made sure to describe the bogus procedure in quite some detail. The family had consented to let them try and went to wait in a courtyard at the center of the building. It was part of the appeal of the clinic, not as depressing as a waiting room.
When we arrived in the patient’s room, I could feel how badly he needed a transfer; I could see and hear it too. His breathing was irregular, and the machines attached to him by wires were making all sorts of noise.
“Can we turn that off?” The sound of the beeps was making me nervous, it reminded me too much of Nana.
“Certainly, I’ll turn off the alarms,” Aldric said as he pressed buttons on the machines. The room was quiet except for the patient’s labored breathing.
I took a deep breath to counter the way his rattled me. I walked closer to the bed and put my hand on his. I realized then that I couldn’t feel Aldric or Ben. He had put his shield back up. I still found it odd when he did that, but I found it easier to focus if I pretended I was alone. I took another deep breath and slowly started to give the man some energy. I only pulsed at first, giving him tiny amounts and pausing, but once I was comfortable that he wasn’t jerking around or having major ill effects, I let the energy flow smoothly. I transferred until I had just enough left to keep me standing, it was a bit excessive maybe, but he felt like he could use every little bit.
When I finally let go, Ben let out a groan and spoke quietly, “Atty, that was too much. I thought I was going to have to knock you off him.” I turned around to see Aldric holding his brother back, as if he was scared he’d come at me.
“I’m OK. I can get more now.”
“Yes. Right now.”
He took my hand and dropped his shield. Aldric turned away from us and went to check on his patient. His expression confirmed my suspicion that even need-based transfer was considered intimate. I drew about a quarter of Ben’s energy and refused when he insisted I take more. “We’ll go straight to the reserve then.” I nodded in agreement.
“How does he look, Aldric?” I asked, turning back toward him.
“Much better, Atty. I don’t know how long you’ve given him, but he’s not hours away from death anymore.”
“Well, hopefully it’s enough for three days at least, otherwise I won’t be able to help.”
“I’m sure it’s more than that. You go recharge. I’ll keep you posted on his condition.”
“Thanks.”
Ben sulked all the way to the car, stomping ahead of me looking like his head might explode. The second we were inside he started to yell. “Don’t ever do that again, Atty! If you’re going to try to kill yourself, then I’m not going to let you help here.”
“I wasn’t even close to killing myself, Ben. I knew how much I had left. I’m fine.”
“I don’t care. You didn’t need to push it that far. What difference would it have made if you stopped just a bit earlier?”
“I don’t know, but he needed it more than I did.”
He took a deep breath then and started to drive. He didn’t speak to me again until we got to the reserve. I hadn’t realized how much of his temper he’d held back in front of Aldric earlier. I appreciated it though. It would have embarrassed me to argue with him in public.
By the time we reached the reserve, he was under control again; all the veins in his head that looked like they might burst earlier had gone back to their hiding places and his tone was even again. We got out of the car, and I could feel that Martha was inside.
“Don’t even think about helping her with anything right now, Atty. You need to just go recharge. I’ll wait for you inside.”
Luckily, there weren’t any emergencies. Martha was just there to check on a patient. I said hello in passing but went straight out to the back. I was a little annoyed myself and decided to take my time collecting energy. Once I was about half full, I started thinking about what had happened that day. I had helped a person! I had helped him hang on to life. It had felt amazing, knowing I could give him just a bit more time. This could help me make up for the horrible things I had done in the past. I might not be able to bring back Nana, or that poor kid at the tennis court—Ben had tried to convince me I had nothing to do with his death but Ben hadn’t been there. I remembered how the kid’s pulse slowed as I touched him. I had taken what was left of his energy, but I could help others stick around and have more time to be with their families.
Ben was still talking to Martha when I went back in. No one else was around. They must have sent the humans out to take care of something. I entered cautiously, hoping Ben was completely over his tantrum.
“I can’t believe you did that, Atty!” Martha exclaimed. “Ben just told me what happened at the clinic. You need to be more careful. What good would it do if you were to accidently kill yourself?”
“I’m fine, Martha. I wasn’t in any danger.”
Ben made a “hmph” sound.
“I know you think you weren’t in danger, Atty, but you’re young. What if you had misjudged?”
“I didn’t.” This conversation was getting on my nerves. “Can we go, Ben? I’m sure you can feel how full I am, and I’d like to go home and rest some.”
He nodded and said goodbye to Martha before we left to drive back to the house.
Chapter 29
The next morning Ben was gone
when I woke up. He had told me the night before that he was going to help Aldric make a list of the patients who needed me most. He also said he wasn’t going to let me go back for a few days and that when he did let me try to help again, if I let myself go as much as I had, then he wouldn’t let me come back.
I went downstairs to make breakfast and was surprised to find Julian there with his father. They were getting ready to leave though. Emilius rarely left the house. I wondered what was taking him away.
“Good morning, Atty,” they both said as I came down the stairs.
“Good morning. You leaving?”
“Yes, we have to take care of some financial matters for the clinic.”
Emilius must still be in charge of some of the money, I guessed. It made sense, so I didn’t bother asking more. I didn’t want to seem nosy.
“Is anyone else home?” I didn’t want to get spooked if someone came out of a room when I wasn’t expecting it.
“Nope, they all already left. You going to be OK alone? Ben said that you didn’t have plans to go anywhere today.”
“He’s right. I’m just going to hang around here. Probably read something.”
“All right then. We’ll see you later.”
I couldn’t remember ever having the entire house just to myself. Not that it mattered much, it wasn’t as if I was going to go sneaking around, but it was nice just the same.
I ate breakfast, then thought about what to do with myself. The house was very quiet, and I wasn’t sure I just wanted to sit around. I decided to go to the stables. Ben had made me promise to get a bit extra from the horses, even though I felt like there was no more room in my body for even a spark of energy. I figured I could just go see them and, if I felt the need, I’d get some more. At least this way I could tell him I walked over.
I’d been in the stable for about half an hour, just stroking some of the horses’ manes and feeding them a few carrots, when I felt Matt approaching. I hadn’t really talked to him in a while, not since Ben had stopped working recently. I felt a quick rush of pleasure at the thought of spending some time with him again. I told myself it was just because we were good friends. Right. Maybe one day I’d convince myself.
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