by Unknown
I love you, Seth.
If only she dared say that out loud. Yet she knew better. He wasn’t ready to believe her. He’d been too hurt. But in time, she was going to make him see it. Somehow.
Seth’s head swam at the way Lydia held on to him and kissed his lips without hurting him in the least. Never had he imagined anything sweeter. More succulent.
Now he understood why people craved this. Why they were willing to die and to kill for it.
And as he breathed her in, a need came from the darkest part of his soul.
Love me …
He was desperate for her heart and he had no idea why. But whenever he was with her …
Nothing else mattered. He felt no pain.
Only her. Her smile warmed him all the way to the coldest part of his soul. And she had no idea how much power she had over him. Noir may have owned his body.
But she owned his heart and his beleaguered soul.
In her arms, he had the ability to dream again. To believe that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t a worthless piece of shit to be used and discarded.
That maybe for once, he was worth keeping.
In that moment, he felt more exposed and vulnerable than he ever had before. Because he knew a truth he could never deny.
Lydia was the one person on this earth, above or beyond, who could destroy him with one single word.
How could he have done this to himself? He knew better than to let anyone close to him. Yet he couldn’t keep her out. She was too vital, too sweet, and the way she looked at him …
Like he mattered.
In her eyes, he saw the man he’d always wanted to be and he never wanted to disappoint her.
Lydia playfully rolled him over so that she could stare down at that gorgeous body that rippled with raw power. She kissed her way from his chest to the juiciest hipbone ever made.
But when she brushed her hand lightly against his cock, he jerked away from her and grabbed her wrist to keep her from stroking him.
That reflex caught her completely off guard. She’d never had a man do that to her before. Usually they begged to be touched.
Once again, he surprised her.
Mystified, she met his uncertain gaze.
He pulled her hand up and laid it against his chest before he finally explained. “I can perform a lot better for you if you wait until the end to hurt me there.”
She didn’t know what made her hurt the most, the sincere honesty in his voice or the expectation of pain she saw in his eyes. He spoke as if he were nothing more than a trained monkey with no other purpose than service her and go.
Her hand trembling, she brushed his curls back from his forehead. “Has no one ever made love to you?”
Scowling, he cocked his head. “Made love? I don’t know what that is.”
Of course, he didn’t. Because no one had ever touched him with a loving hand. They had used him, abused him, and then thrown him away his entire life.
But that was going to change.
She smiled up at him. “You’re about to find out, but you have to trust that I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
The saddest part was that she believed him. “Then I’m going to teach you.”
Seth had no idea what she meant by that until she manifested five silk scarves. She looped one about his wrist, then tied it to the bed.
Panic gripped him at her intent. “What did I do to displease you?”
She laid her head on his chest and shook it. Then she locked gazes with him so that he could see the sincerity in her eyes. “Baby, this isn’t about punishment. It’s about pleasure. Your pleasure. Trust me.”
She kept saying that.
Did he dare?
Trying to make her happy, he forced himself to submit to what she was doing even though it terrified him.
Once she had his arms and legs tied down, she hesitated. “Are you okay?”
He wasn’t sure. He hated this feeling of vulnerability. Of being at anyone’s mercy. Ever.
But he’d made her a promise.
“I think so,” he lied.
She narrowed her gaze at him as if she sensed his dishonesty. “Trust. Me. You really are going to enjoy this.” And with that she blindfolded him.
Seth held his breath as he feared what she’d do to him now that he couldn’t protect himself at all.
Until he felt her long soft hair on his chest. Ever so light, it teased his flesh like a butterfly’s kiss. His eyes rolled back in his head as she gently beat him with it. But there was no pain.
Only sweet torture.
Slowly, teasingly, she began kissing him again. First his lips, then his neck and ears. Ears that she licked and blew into until his body was on fire from it. Her naked breasts were plastered against his skin while she slid herself down his body, nibbling his flesh the whole way.
Okay, this was good.
Actually, it was far beyond good. Anytime Lydia wanted to tie him down and torture him like this, he would be her most willing slave.
Then he felt her warm breath against his cock. He tensed involuntarily.
Her fingers started dancing over the tip of him, until he was leaking from it. His breathing ragged, he bit his lip as blind pleasure consumed him. Slow and easy, she rubbed his moisture down his shaft until she played with the curls at the center of his body. Her fingernails brushed through them ever so lightly and then she slid her hand down until she cupped him in the gentlest caress he’d ever known.
Arching his back, he growled at how good it felt.
Then he felt something even better.
She took him into her mouth and tongued him until he thought he’d die from it. More than that, he heard her murmurs of pleasure. She actually enjoyed tasting him.
He couldn’t believe it.
No one had ever done that to him before. No one.
He tried to hold himself back so that he could please her in return. But she was relentless with her mouth, tongue, and hand as she licked, sucked, and stroked every inch of him.
Before he could stop it, he came.
Still, she didn’t pull away. Rather she continued to taste and please him until she’d sucked the last shudder from his sated body.
Only then did she let go of him. With a gentle hand, she slid his blindfold off and smiled. “You still alive, baby?”
He would never get used to the way endearments for him rolled off her tongue. “No, sšn.” How could he be after that?
She jerked back as if he’d slapped her. Then her eyes darkened with a fury he didn’t understand the source of. “Um … um … Seth?”
That icy tone made him extremely wary. Especially since he was still tied down and at her mercy. “Lydia?”
“Did you just call me Su-san?”
He scowled at the foreign word. “Susan? What’s that?”
Her voice was still coated with icy venom. “A woman’s name.”
“I’ve never heard of such a name.”
“Then what did you just call me a minute ago?”
It took him a minute to figure it out. “You mean sšn?”
Lydia narrowed her gaze as he said it again. And as before, it made her want to kick him because it sounded kind of like Ses-sahn—the way someone with his accent might say the name Susan or Suzanne. “Yes. Who is that?”
“Not a who. It means lily in Egyptian.”
“Lily? Really?”
He nodded.
What an odd thing to call her. “Why lily?”
“It’s the most sacred and beautiful of all flowers in Egypt. They bloom in mud and shine in the darkness like a gift from the gods to remind you that no matter how bad something is, it will get better. That no matter how dark the night, the light will come for you. If you partake of them, they have the power to calm and soothe you, and to heal your wounds.” When he spoke his next words, they were laced with emotion and sincerity. “You are, and will always be, my sšn.”
Lydia pres
sed her lips together as tears gathered in her eyes. Those words set her heart pounding as she realized that sšn was so much more than a random endearment that he’d tossed at her.
He’d given it thought and chosen it with purpose.
Seth writhed on the bed as if he was trying to reach her. “I didn’t mean to sadden you, Lydia. I’m sorry if I did. If you’ll untie me, I’ll please you now.”
She sniffed back her tears and offered him a shaking smile. “You haven’t made me sad. Not at all.” She moved his necklace aside so that she lick his nipple again. “This isn’t about you pleasing me. It’s about me giving you pleasure. And baby, I’m about to rock your world.”
* * *
Hours later, Seth lay on the bed with Lydia curled against him while she slept. He’d wrapped himself completely around her so that her hips pressed against his groin and her breasts rested on his arms.
All he could smell or feel was her, and it was all he wanted.
He still couldn’t believe all the incredible things she’d done to him this day.
It was …
Words failed him.
Now he was completely sated and calm in a way he’d have never thought possible. Everything was right in the world and he didn’t possess hardly a single god power.
Who would have ever thought that could happen?
He, the most feral of Guardians, the only one who had withstood the worst torture Noir could dish out, was tamed by the tiniest woman he’d ever seen.
And she hadn’t done it with beatings or insults.
She’d broken him with a single kiss.
It didn’t make a bit of sense. He’d been sold to Noir against his will and had fought that possession every day since. But he’d willingly given himself to her. Without question or regret.
Seth rubbed his cheek against her hair and smiled. This day had been the only happiness he’d ever known. And unlike her, he was afraid to close his eyes and sleep.
He was terrified that if he did, he’d awaken to find it all a dream. Or worse, have it all snatched away from him again.
Never had the gods allowed him to be happy. Why should that change now?
Suddenly, Lydia jumped up in the bed as if something had shocked her. Her breathing ragged, she reached for him and started searching his bare body.
Her actions worried him. “What are you doing?”
She clenched the necklace Ma’at had given him in her palm, and finally calmed down a degree. “Why didn’t this work?”
“I don’t understand.”
She tightened her grip on it. “Remember what your aunt said when she gave it to you? That it would protect you—and yet it didn’t. The Dream-Hunters attacked you and hurt you while you wore it.”
He pulled on the chain until she released it and it fell back on his bare chest. “But only in my dream was I hurt. The one Dream-Hunter told me before she started to stab me that I should have been harmed outside the dream, too, but I wasn’t. So maybe it did work.”
Lydia calmed down a degree as she considered that. Perhaps he was right.
And yet, she couldn’t shake the bad premonition she’d just had while she was sound asleep. It was of Seth being dragged back into Azmodea by Noir and put in a room like the one she’d found Solin in.
Over and over, she saw his abuse so clearly …
In every detail.
The last time this had happened to her, her mother had died just days later.
And in the exact manner she had foreseen.
CHAPTER 17
Lydia laughed as she watched Seth trying to figure out how to work her iPod. Only he could look that sexy with a frown so stern while wearing a set of black in-ear headphones that trailed down both sides of his head.
“This was made by a demon, too, wasn’t it?” His voice thundered in the room.
Lydia pulled out one of the earphones. “You’re talking really loud. You should always take one of these out when you speak so that you don’t accidentally shout at people.”
“Oh. Sorry.” He sighed in frustration. “I don’t get how this plays music.”
“Well, it doesn’t just play music. You can use it for all kinds of things. I have pictures in here, games, even movies.”
“What kind of pictures?”
Lydia shrugged. “I have some of my house in England.” She scrolled through her album until she found one of her living room, then she held it out to him so that he could see.
Seth studied the sedate room that was decorated in greens and yellows. It was very understated and yet also feminine. “It’s nice.”
“I like it.” She scrolled to another photograph and held it out to him. “That’s my backyard.”
It reminded him of a jungle. Still it was serene and inviting. In all honesty, he felt a little guilty over keeping her here with him when she could be home right now had he not kidnapped her.
She would have been safe. But for him.
“You must miss it.”
Without responding, she leaned forward to show him again how he could toggle around the photos. “Just press this and it’ll scroll right through.”
He did as she said, and discovered more photographs of her home and of her neighbor’s yard. But when he got to one of Solin and her with their arms wrapped around each other, all the happiness inside him died.
How could he have forgotten about Solin?
Because you wanted to.
Yeah, but that didn’t make it right.
Lydia placed her hand on his. “Seth? What’s wrong?”
I’m a jerk and a sucker. That’s what’s wrong.
Most of all, he was a fool.
Seth couldn’t speak at first as guilt overwhelmed him. When he found his voice again, he glared at her. “How could you…”
She continued to play the wounded innocent in this. “How could I do what?”
Seth showed her the photo of her with Solin. The love and happiness on their faces … He deserved to have the crap beat out of him over it. He should never have touched her. “How could you cheat on Solin after everything he’s done for you?”
She gaped. “Excuse me?”
His temper mounted at her feigned indignation. She had no right to be angry at him for defending the man she’d screwed over. “You heard me.”
Lydia was so stunned by his assumption about her relationship with Solin that she was at a complete loss for words.
His gaze narrowed even more. “Are you trying to think up a lie to excuse it?”
Now that, that set her temper off, fast. It took everything she had not to slap him. When she spoke, it was through clenched teeth. “I don’t have to think up anything.” She raked him up and down with her gaze. “I … you—I—I…” She kept sputtering and stuttering in outrage.
“He loves you so.”
“And I love him!” she snapped.
“Then how could you have had sex with me, knowing that?”
She gestured at Seth’s lower extremities. “Because I can’t have sex with him.” She almost choked on the word.
The very thought of sex and Solin nauseated her.
“Why not? Is he impotent?”
She shivered in revulsion. “No … I don’t know. Why would I know? Ew! Gods! Stop that! Ew! Ew! Ew! I don’t want to think about that area of his body. As far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t have one of those, and nothing other than his feet exists below his waist.” She made a gagging noise as she slung her hands in the air, repulsed beyond endurance and disgusted by the very thought of Solin having sex with anyone. “Yes, I know I’m being childish, but I don’t care. That’s how I feel about it. Yuck! Who wants to have sex with their father? Gross, gross, gross … Gross!”
Seth sat back on the bed, unbelievably stunned. And not over her outrage and overreaction. Was any of that true?
“What?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she snapped, jerking her head at him, “you heard me. Incest doesn’t run in my family, buddy. Just so you know.”<
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Okay, now he had the distinct impression that she was insulting him. “What are insinuating?”
“You’re the one with the family tree that doesn’t branch.” She illustrated said tree with her fingers. “How many Egyptian gods slept with their brothers’ and sisters’ wife’s mother’s uncle’s dogs? Hmm? I ask you?”
He wasn’t quite sure if he should be offended or amused by her attack on his family. Honestly, he had no real feelings for any of them other than hatred and disdain but … “Have you visited your pantheon lately?”
“We’re not talking about my pantheon, here. Are we? No. We’re insulting yours.”
Seth was definitely amused now. “Well, just so long as we have that straight…” Which brought him back to what had started all of this. He sobered instantly. “Is he really your father?”
“Yes … and you are absolutely the only single living person besides us who knows this. So if you tell anyone, I will know it and I will choke you until you … do something that makes me happy.”
Why did he find her vague and odd threats so amusing? Other than the fact that they were at least creative, he had no idea.
But he had to come back to one thing in her tirade. “Why did you tell me, then, if no one knows?”
“You were accusing me of being a whore. Thanks, by the way. I’m so glad to know you’ve been paying attention and taking notes in the Trust classes I’ve tried to teach you.”
Now that reignited his anger. He didn’t like for anyone to put words into his mouth. He always spoke plainly so there was no reason to misinterpret his meanings. “I didn’t call you a whore.”
“You implied it.”
“I did no such thing.”
“No?” She cocked her neck at him again, letting him know just how angry she still was. “Then I want you to run all of your words backward in your head and listen to them. Then put on my ears and listen to them again, and then tell me what you hear. If that doesn’t spell whore in any language, I don’t know what does.”
She might have a point with that. But he didn’t want to admit it right now. “Can we go back to when we weren’t fighting?”
“Little late for that now, buddy. You should have thought about that before you opened your mouth.” She started signing angry gestures at him.