Eventually my wolf emerged through the treeline, nudging at a loose wooden slat in a fence until she could wriggle underneath it. Alarmed, I tried to regain control, but she growled in warning, insisting on busting into this person’s backyard. When I stopped fighting her, I realized that this must be where the two wolves lived — their scent was all over this place, with scratch marks covering every surface.
Are you fucking with me? I was practically screaming at my wolf internally. It was one thing to defend her own turf, but a whole different issue to trespass on someone else's. The only saving grace was their scent was faint. They weren't here. My wolf seemed to realize that too. It... upset her. What the heck is going on? So she did miss having a pack? Was that the issue?
It was a spartan space. The fenced-in backyard was rectangular, with a small shed in the corner, and a porch off the back of the house that had a two-person bench on it. It was tidy, but not particularly homey. Wolves usually attempted to make their space their own, the utilitarian feel was odd.
Surprisingly, my wolf didn’t try to cover the other scents with her own. She wandered from tree to tree, circled the shed, even sniffed around the bench on the back porch, but didn’t rub up against anything. She didn’t seem offended by the presence of other scents here either. Just… sad. Baffled, I didn’t fight her. Whatever she was doing, it was obviously important to her.
My wolf howled mournfully before trotting back to the center of the lawn, laying down on her belly, resting her head on her front paws and closing her eyes.
Shit, I thought as I felt myself grow drowsy. Please let me be alone when I wake up.
✽✽✽
I had no idea what time it was when I woke up, but I was still very much in my fur, curled up in a ball in the middle of some random wolves' yard. They hadn't returned yet, hopefully that meant they were gone for the entire break. If so, my scent would be long gone from their yard by the time they got back. They need never know I was here.
For some reason, I didn’t much like that thought.
Tentatively, I communicated to my wolf we had to leave. That it wasn't safe for us here. She whined, settling herself stubbornly back on the ground. We have to go. We need to go to our territory. Not safe.
She growled, and with great reluctance, I shoved my human side forward, forcing the shift. It was less comfortable for both of us that way, but we'd lingered here too long already. The surrounding houses were dark, and I was confident it was the middle of the night, but the neighbors could still look in and see a wolf curled up in the yard. That would raise some questions.
Possibly not as many questions as a naked woman standing in someone’s backyard, though.
I cursed quietly, darting down the length of the yard and carefully prying the slats of the fence until I found the loose one. It wasn’t actually loose, I now realized. It was on a hinge. It wasn’t one slat either, but a row of them, all meticulously attached into a makeshift gate. The wolves that live here must use it as a shortcut to get into the woods. The wolves who lived here must be enormous, I thought uneasily, passing through the vast gap.
I inhaled and took in my surroundings, grateful that I appeared to be the only one out here at this time of my night. I set out into the woods at a run, eager to find my clothes as soon as possible. Aside from the questions that being naked out here would raise if someone found me, it was fucking freezing. The snow felt agonizing against my feet and the frigid air whipped at my skin as I ran. I clamped my jaw tightly together to stop my teeth from chattering.
Hope you're happy, I thought bitterly at my wolf. Couldn't have just taken me back to my clothes like I asked her to.
Fortunately, my clothes were where I left them, though they were soaked, frozen, and hell to put on. The ballet flats did nothing to protect my feet, but I shoved them on, anyway. I followed the woods as close as I could get to my house, only moving onto the sidewalk at the last minute. The streetlights were on, but the houses were dark, and I let out the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding when I finally made it to my front porch and let myself into the silent house.
I took a second to lean back against the front door, inhaling deeply and letting my heart rate return to normal before heading upstairs for a hot shower, stripping off my cold, sodden clothes as I went.
I had shifted.
I had actually shifted. It may have taken two years, but I not only managed to shift, I shifted back. Maybe my wolf would still go feral. Maybe that’s why she’d been drawn to the other wolves’ property, but it hadn’t happened yet. I wasn’t feral.
Yet.
The hot spray of the shower penetrated my freezing skin, defrosting the cold that felt like it had set into my bones. I tipped my head back, letting the water run through my waist-length hair and reaching for the shampoo. I was too wired to sleep — plenty of time to wash my mass of hair. I frowned as I realized my wolf’s mood hadn’t lifted at all. If anything, it was worse. Those wolves not being there had disappointed her.
There are wolves to play with at the Fortis Pack. And family to meet.
There were no howls of objection, no raking claws against my insides. No response from her at all.
Right, to the Fortis Pack we go.
I didn’t feel great taking advantage of her sudden bout of depression to get out of Carson, but she obviously needed the interaction with other shifters, and I was curious about my mom’s family. We needed this. Maybe I could spend some more time in my fur on their territory, perhaps even run with them. A little wolfy time with some wolfy friends might be the solution I was looking for. Ever since I’d come to Carson, my wolf had switched rapidly between contentment, agitation, and desolation. Her mood swings were giving me whiplash.
I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair before shutting off the shower, dried myself, wrapped my hair in a towel and pulled on my robe. My phone was still sitting on the dresser in my room where I’d left it. I grabbed it, looking up the bus schedule to Huntingdon and booking a ticket for six am, three hours’ time.
With no one else in the house to consider, I blasted my hair dryer and brushed out the mass of knots that my hair had turned into after the brisk wind outside had blown it around. Hair dry, I laid my head back on my pillow, physically exhausted but overcome with emotions. Let me sleep, I begged my wolf. Sleep had been scarce since I’d been on my own — it went against my nature to let myself be vulnerable without a pack around to protect me — but it had been near impossible these past few months.
I forced my eyes shut and concentrated on taking deep, even breaths until the tumble of emotions from my wolf and my fears about visiting the Fortis Pack morphed into hazy fantasies of a faceless blonde wolf, built like a tank, burying his head between my thighs, and sleep took me.
Chapter 9
Archer
Wren’s silky black hair fanned out over my pillow, her teeth sinking into her plush bottom lip as she stared up at me with hooded eyes, hazy with lust. She writhed beneath me, bucking her hips, tempting me closer. That wasn’t how this worked, though. I was taking my time, exploring, savoring. I leaned down, biting her lightly on the swell of her breast. Patience.
I trailed kisses down her toned stomach, leaving a love bite on each hip, before making my way to the juncture of her thighs. She was clenching them, rubbing them together, trying to find some relief. No, no, that wouldn’t do. I growled in warning, pushing her knees apart so I could claim my prize. Fuck, she smelled delicious.
“Archer.” My dad’s commanding voice coming through my bedroom door had my boner deflating like a leaky balloon.
“I’m awake,” I replied, clearing my throat.
“We can’t delay the feast another night. Go find your mother, maybe she’ll shift back for you.” The last words were muttered so quietly, I barely caught them.
“I’m on it,” I sighed, rolling out of bed in my childhood bedroom in the main pack house. Normally, I stayed in my cabin on the border, but after Dad postponed the Tiberinus feast l
ast night because Mom had disappeared into the depths of the mountainside, he’d ordered me to stay at the main house with him and Flynn. Probably worried I’d bail on the pack to drive to Fortis Pack territory and find Wren.
It was a valid concern. Miles and I had planned to leave last night. The delay was riding both my wolf and me hard.
I pulled on my jeans, a too-small shirt and socks I’d borrowed from Flynn, and my shoes and jacket. I’d head to the dining hall first and have breakfast with the pack before I started searching the territory for Mom on two legs. It would take longer, but if I shifted, my wolf would turn tail and head west towards the campus before I could stop him.
I wasn’t sure I’d even try.
Breakfast was always a buffet table of toast, preserves, fruit and cereal served in the dining hall. Thank the Fates. No one could screw that up.
I piled up my plate with jam-covered toast and sat down next to my brother at the head table. It was just the two of us at the table — most of the hall was empty since it was the end of the breakfast hour.
“How goes it, big brother?” Flynn asked, briefly glancing at me in between shoveling cheerios into his mouth. He was almost as big as me now, in a couple of years we’d be evenly matched. His hair was light brown, more like Dad’s, with streaks of dark blonde in it. He’d always preferred to keep it long, tying it back in a man bun that I loved to give him shit about. Like me, Flynn had Mom’s pale blue eyes. There was no mistaking that we were brothers.
“Dad asked me to go find Mom, try to get her to shift back.”
Flynn grunted, shoving in another mouth of cereal.
“You don’t seem very optimistic about my chances.”
“No offense, Arch, but I’ve always been her favorite son, and she’s never shifted back for me.”
I barked a laugh. I’d forgotten what a little shitstirrer Flynn could be. He was seventeen now, he’d been fourteen when I left for college. I felt like I had to get to know him all over again as an adult.
“I’m not optimistic either,” I admitted keeping my voice low.
“Dad’s hoping that because she hasn’t seen you in a while, it’ll trigger her memory or something,” Flynn explained, pushing his bowl away and leaning back in his chair with his arms behind his head.
“Maybe it’ll work,” he added hesitantly. As he got older and stronger, he and his wolf would find it easier to outright disagree with his Alpha, but he wasn’t quite there yet.
“Do you spend a lot of time with her?” I asked, starting on my fourth piece of toast.
“As much as I can without it looking… suspicious,” Flynn replied, looking uncomfortable. My gut churned uneasily. I didn’t relish putting appearances ahead of Mom’s happiness either. “Dad used to keep her in the house in her fur, but she hates being confined.”
I nodded silently. My wolf snarled at the idea of being stuck in a house.
“So, what did you do to piss Dad off?” Flynn asked, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Usually he’s all about Archer when you’re home, but he’s barely spoken to you this trip.”
I hummed. I hadn’t planned on telling him about Wren until I was bringing her back here and introducing her in person. It felt shitty to keep it from him, though. We were keeping enough secrets.
“I found my fated mate,” I said carefully. “As you can see, she isn’t here.”
“You found her, not you met her?” Flynn asked, raising a brow at me. He was more astute than I gave him credit for.
“As soon as the feast is over, I plan on rectifying that.”
“Do you think she’ll be mad? Dad will be annoyed with you until you bring her back here, and I’m quite enjoying being the golden boy.”
I snorted. “You’ll get to bask in the glow of his approval for quite a bit longer yet. I better go. I can’t shift, my wolf is less keen on waiting until after the feast is over.”
Flynn gave me an understanding look that really emphasized how much he’d matured. His best friends, Kye and Zoe, were fated mates who at sixteen, had already been together for years. Flynn probably knew more about mates than I did.
“Head north,” he suggested. “Mom likes the caves when it’s cold out.”
I stood and clapped him on the shoulder before striding out of the dining hall. As I walked away I made a promise to myself to call my brother more often.
✽✽✽
I hiked through the undergrowth, slipping repeatedly on the mud and steep terrain. It would be nothing for my wolf to scale this slope, and I seriously considered shifting. I think he understood that we couldn’t be mad about the delay in going to Wren because Mom had vanished into the most isolated part of the territory and we needed to find her.
I’m pretty sure Mom was running from me at this point, she kept slipping just out of my line of sight. It was probably a great game to her wolf.
The pack had been understanding about delaying the Tiberinus dinner because we’d told them Mom was unwell, which had enough truth in it for them not to sense the lie. Mom had never missed this feast before, and I could tell Dad was struggling with the idea of her missing this one.
I wasn’t optimistic though. She’d only shifted back once since the start of the semester, and only for two days. Even when she was ‘here’, she wasn’t. She’d sit in the front room of the Alpha’s house, in full view of the main clearing which got the most foot traffic. I suspect it was Dad’s way of showing the pack that Mom was still there, that she was fine. She wasn’t though. Mom never spoke and her eyes were unfocused, absent, whenever she was in her skin.
If Dad seriously thought the pack hadn’t noticed anything, he was insane. They may not be asking questions, but I was sure they had them.
The snapping of twigs and rustling of leaves just over the next rise alerted me to her presence, and I groaned internally. My restless, furious wolf had given me maybe an hour of peace last night where I got some sleep. I was exhausted, yet wired. Irritated. Consumed with thoughts of Wren.
I dragged my body up over the rise, pulling myself to my full height as the warning snarl of an irritated she-wolf greeted me.
Taking my life into my hands, I sat cross-legged on the ground, showing the gray wolf I wasn’t a threat to her, giving her the advantage.
“Hey Mom.”
The wolf’s pale blue eyes, so like my own, assessed me, sizing me up. She didn’t move, but she didn’t growl either.
“It’s winter break so I’ve come back from school for a few days,” I continued in a soothing, friendly tone. “Actually, not a few days. I was supposed to leave yesterday. I found my fated mate.”
I paused, glancing up at her. This time last year my mom, in her skin, would have screamed in excitement, notifying the whole pack that I’d met my mate. I could almost feel her hugs — slim arms not quite able to wrap around me anymore, her shaking silent laughter as she commented on how I wasn’t her little baby anymore, while I would swat her wild blonde hair out of my face as it tickled my nose.
It used to drive me crazy the way she insisted on hugging me all the time.
I’d give anything for just one more hug like that.
“Her name is Wren Marques.” My voice was hoarse, throat tight with an emotion I didn’t know how to name. “She’s so beautiful, Mom. Fucking breathtaking, you know? She’s got this long black hair and smooth brown skin, and her eyes. They’re like liquid gold. She’s the most incredible woman I’ve ever seen.”
The wolf moved closer, whining sympathetically. My mom and her wolf had always been crazy in tune with other people’s emotions. It’s part of what made her such a beloved Luna.
“I might have screwed it up though. I always thought I’d have all this time to myself. College was meant to be about me and Miles having fun, letting loose before we took on pack responsibilities. I wasn’t ready to meet my mate yet. Or I didn’t think I was ready.”
The wolf howled slightly, walking directly up to me to nuzzle her head against my shoulder. I held out my
hand for her to brush against before burying it in the fur around her neck.
“So now I need to go fix my fuck up and convince her I’m not a totally worthless mate,” I summarized. “But first we need to have the Tiberinus feast, because it’s one of the most important dates on the calendar for the pack and they’ll be devastated if we cancel it. We postponed it last night because we all really want you to be there, Mom. We’ve never had one without you.”
She looked at me without a trace of recognition in her eyes, far more animal than human.
“Can you come back, Mom? For the feast? Ideally forever, but I’ll take whatever you can give.”
The animal whined, shoving against my still hand, encouraging me to pet her again. I gave her what she wanted, using my free hand to rub my tight, aching chest. Dad sending me up here had been a fool’s errand. If she wouldn’t shift back for her mate, she wouldn’t shift back for anyone.
“I need to go now, Mom. I have to help at the feast. Maybe someone else can come up and hang out with you though. You can play with their wolf. That would be fun, right?” I asked softly, leaning in as she affectionately pushed her snout against my nose. “I’ll see what I can do.”
She sat back on her haunches, watching me go with observant eyes that didn’t hold a hint of sadness. That was okay. I had enough sadness for both of us.
I got down the mountain in half the time it took me to get up there, only to find Dad and Flynn waiting at the base of the slope for me.
“Did you find her?” Dad asked, straight to the point. He was still mad at me about the mess I’d made with Wren, it was written all over his face.
“I did.”
“Did you convince her to shift?”
“You know I didn’t,” I sighed. They were bonded. His wolf could sense hers. “What does she feel like to you? Through the bond?” I asked quietly, eyes darting around to make sure we couldn’t be overheard.
Fire & Gasoline: A Shifter Romance (Audax Pack Book 1) Page 10