by J. S. Carter
“For what?”
He didn't seem to want to answer so I looked past him to get a simple nod of approval from Murphy. I was guessing there was more to the story of them making it out of Arrino than they cared to share.
Nick took another drag, carefully tiptoeing on the balance between sincerity and not giving a damn all without looking at me. If I didn't know any better, I would have said he might have been embarrassed to admit it. “It's good to see you, by the way.”
Yeah.
It's good to see you too.
It really was good to hear it until I followed his gaze to watch Jeremy hold the tent open for a young, pretty, blonde girl and my stomach instantly threw a fit. He pointed into a notebook in the woman's arms. She couldn't have been much older than me, though her glasses did make her look a lot smarter.
She shook her head and glanced up at him while I eavesdropped on their conversation, her English accent clearly discernible from the rest. “I know, but that's all we have. I already checked it myself to make sure.”
Jeremy took a breath and ran a hand through his lengthening hair, the extra oil, dirt, and frayed ends making it stick up in a mess. “Okay... Check it again?”
She stammered for a moment, unsure, as a damp, light wisp fell over her face from her forehead.
“Please?” He put a hand on her shoulder and she brushed the bang back with a smile.
“Yeah—of course. You're right. I'll do it first thing.”
“Thanks, Izz.” He let his hand slide down her arm and she stepped to the side like the rest of us, eventually striking a quiet conversation with Olivia on my other side.
Nick wasted no time leaning over to Murphy with a voice that could have been quieter. “Hey. Who's the hottie?”
“I know she's not for you.”
He shook his head and seemed to take offense at that. “Fuckin' Moses...”
It wasn't the first time I had heard him say it. I stuck my nose out of my business and pried in. “Why do you call him that?”
“You don't wanna know,” said Murphy.
“Who? Jeremy?” asked Nick.
“Don't tell her...”
Nick looked back over at me. “Jeremy, right? 'Ol Jere-bear?”
I shrugged and he took another drag with a smug look on his face
“Well, let’s just say he's always been pretty popular with the ladies.” He blew a small cloud up above my face and put his hands together like a pair of legs, opening them up to form a small 'V' shape. “He parts the seas, if you ya know what I'm getting' at...”
Wow.
“You see,” he started again. “Because—”
I put his hands back down. “I got it, dude.”
Loud and clear.
I could feel my cheeks flush and I hoped I wasn't blushing because of something so stupid. I ended up looking back over at Jeremy to catch his gaze and immediately the familiar bugs began to crawl over the inside of my stomach again. I hadn't exactly left on good terms with him. Luckily, Badger and the rest of his team—the same pair of bearded soldiers that had knocked into me before—walked in and stood off to another side, completing our large semi-circle. He gave Jeremy a quick nod and the sheriff took charge of his new crew.
“Alright, guys, listen up. We're running against the clock here, so I'm gonna keep this simple.” Any of the last side conversation still alive quickly died off to give him our full attention. “I'm pretty sure everyone knows why they're here. And if the turnout in front of me says anything, then I think we got a pretty good shot and making this happen.”
I shifted my weight at that. I shouldn't have been there if I was just going to turn around and leave.
“The feds are gonna try their best to get everyone out as fast as they can, but it's lookin' like a lot of people are still gonna get left behind... unless we can do something about it.” He walked to the side and dragged his small wooden table towards the middle for us to come in closer and gather around. “Hayes is letting us use one of their trucks to go here...” He put his finger down on a map. “Maryville. It's a few miles out of the way, but otherwise a straight shot. Now, I haven't heard anything good about it, so we'll be going in armed. Badger and his men will provide security if anything goes south and Isabel will do the talking if anyone wants to make a trade.” He gestured towards the blonde in the room. “She's comin' along from Florence, so no fist fights.”
I cast my eyes down as the pressure immediately fell in from either side. I was sure the man whose nose I had broken belonged to the same town, which meant I had been burning bridges without even realizing it. I wasn't sure if anyone else had made the connection except for me, though I was still glad to see Nick raise a hand and move it along.
“What exactly are we trading?”
“Food,” said Isabel. “MRE's, anyway. Maryville is just as exposed as we are. If they're not gone by the time we get there, then we need to convince them to make a detour. Otherwise we look for buses on our own or anything to move as many people as possible, as fast as we can.”
Nick took another drag. “And if they don't feel like helping?”
“We'll deal with that when we get to it,” said Jeremy. He pointed at the pair. “You and Murph will stick with me and Izzy. Olivia is gonna be our secret weapon. If anyone decides to double cross us, we'll make 'em think twice about it once they find out they'd be going up against a Knight.” He looked at her and paused for a moment, unsure on how to approach the subject. “But it might be a good idea for you to keep a low profile and blend in. If they're gonna be dicks to us for no reason, then chances are they're not gonna like Paranormals either. It would mean leaving your stuff in the car.”
She thought about it for a few seconds and ultimately gave it a nod. “Alright.”
Jeremy tapped his knuckles against the desk. “Good. Then I think that about it covers it for us. I need everyone else to meet up with Martinez as soon as we're done here. He'll be in charge of Arrino while we're gone. Most of the feds will be out guarding the buses as they move, so he's gonna be drawing up teams from here and Florence. A lot of people are gonna be counting on you. Do whatever you can to keep 'em safe.” He paused again to look them over. “Any questions?”
I took the chance to glance around the inside of the tent and I was hit by a sudden wave of dejavu. The surroundings and looming pressure to succeed under bad odds was incredibly reminiscent of the first meeting I had sat in on with Jeremy back in Camp Maxwell, though now more people would be involved as more was at stake. I counted up the team in my head again.
Jeremy, Olivia, Murphy, Nick, and Isabel—plus Badger and his men.
Eight people would be putting themselves in a worse position simply for a chance to help the rest. And then there was me...
“Tess?”
I snapped out of my daze and realized Jeremy had asked me a question.
He tried again. “You managed to spend some time out there. Anything we should know?”
No.
What the hell was I supposed to say? It was pointless. Was he only trying his best to include me? Anything I had to add would only fall by the wayside. Chris was the only reason I was still alive and I had repaid him back with a bullet to the head. The best thing I could tell them to do would be to stay out of the soldiers' way if anything went down, yet I tripped myself up as soon as I glanced at Badger and the rest of his team.
They were professionals, fully experienced men who probably knew how kill me in more ways than I could ever ponder, yet they were still as human as Olivia. They might not ever admit it, but I could feel their resentment towards me pour out of their eyes. They knew I had been there to witness Chris' death. And just like with Ellie, their minds would fill in the blanks. Chris would have never even met me if he hadn't been held hostage in Arrino. It would be an easy extension for their hate to pool itself onto anyone else affiliated with the town. At its worst, a slight hesitation out in the field would mean someone wouldn't be coming back alive, and I couldn't
stand for it—not when I still had a chance to make a difference with everyone in one place.
“I wasn't alone...” I thought my voice might have cracked. With all the attention now focused on me, my thoughts suddenly ran vacant, as if I had no choice but to shoot from the hip and hope for the best. I found myself mimicking Olivia's words again, and from there, I realized that the idea wasn't meant for two or three people alone. They were meant for everyone. I looked at all of them in turn before staring at the ground. They all needed to understand, but I wasn't sure how.
“If you're going outside, then you're not doing anything to help yourself. You'd be better off going at it alone, but... you're not. You're doing it for everyone else, and they're doing it for you. So... don't give up on 'em.” I wasn't sure how to end it any more than that so I just stopped talking. I didn't know if I had made any sense. I was too embarrassed to even look up when Jeremy finally cut the meeting.
“You heard the lady. We're leaving in fifteen.”
I stayed still as bodies began to make their way out on either side of me. Nobody bothered to say anything and I didn't move until Olivia put a hand on my shoulder.
“I'll meet you outside.”
Confused, I didn't understand why she thought she would have to wait for me until I looked around to see that everyone else had left except for Jeremy. She quietly joined the rest to leave the two of us alone and I silently cursed her unnatural canniness to figure out what I wanted before I did. My stomach instantly fell towards the bottom of the Earth and my limbs felt lighter than air. I didn't know when it had happened, but I was powerless to the effects. I was alone with Jeremy and it scared the shit out of me.
He leaned back against the table and I was glad he was more functional than me to finally break the silence. “That was a good speech. You should probably take the lead next time.”
I let myself smile at that but felt awkward for not knowing what to do with my hands. I crossed my arms and slowly crept forward, nonchalantly. I wanted nothing more than whatever I was going through to just feel like a casual chat, but I stopped getting closer as soon as I hit arm's length. I began to notice the heavy bags underneath his eyes, deep-ridden with purple, and for once the automatic thoughts began to flow again. He must have been awake the whole night. “You look exhausted.”
He seemed to find that amusing. “Yeah, I never really was a fan of the third shift...” He rotated around to pick something up off the table and I couldn't help it.
I blurted it out. “Let me help you.” He turned back around to match my stare and I knew I had made a mistake. I knew I was leaving. I was supposed to be gone. I would be going against Olivia. It wasn't right for me to offer it up, but I went with it anyway. I wanted to help him more than myself.
He let the offer bounce off with a grin. “There's gonna be about three hundred people outside this tent that aren't you. I think we can manage.”
The joke meant too much to me than it should have. The thought of leaving, of being carted off and surrounded by so many people again began to make me anxious. I needed space. I needed to do something. I couldn't stand the thought of idling around and waiting for things to happen to me. I recognized the news threats in my life and I wanted to face them head on. I just wanted to walk out into the middle of an empty field with a rifle and spot Juno from a football field away and send a bullet through her skull. The idea was so simple and appealing to me, yet I didn't think he would understand it. Making Jeremy's life easier would at least be second best.
I tried again. “I can help.”
“Nope. You can't.”
“Why?” What made him so certain?
“Because I'm not as important as you are.” We looked at each other for longer than I thought either of us should have, and he finally offered an explanation. “Olivia... found me after you did yesterday. She told me what was going on, about how you're... different.”
Logic-ninja.
Of course she did. “What'd she tell you?”
“Enough.” He put his empty hands up in a peaceful surrender. “I don't even need to know. I mean, it's your business. God knows it's gotten you into enough trouble already.”
I had shown Jeremy that I was a Paranormal back in Arrino, albeit one without any experience. He had seemed a bit conflicted then, though the circumstances had been frayed beyond recognition to begin with. If it mattered to him now, he didn't show it.
Maybe I could trust him more than I thought I knew. I opened up. “Look... I need to help. If I keep sitting on my ass, I'm gonna go crazy.”
He gleamed at that. “So then this...” He waved a hand over me and then gently grabbed my wrist, pulling me closer to bring up my wrapped knuckles in front of us. “You're telling me this right here is normal? And you want me to give it a gun?”
“Yes...” The word had come out without any air. I barely noticed it was gone until I realized how close we were again. I watched his eyes move over my own and I knew what could come next, but it never did. I could feel a steady stream of guilt dissipate as I slowly slipped my wrist away from his fingers and I realized that he wouldn't go any further. He had no way of knowing that Ryan, Kyle, or any of their men had never laid a single hand on me. It must have been why he didn't do anything before and why he hesitated now, but I couldn't.
My heart threatened to burst out of my chest as I looked up into the eyes of the man above me, a man that I barely knew, one whose last name I had just learned and whose age I could only guess, and I didn't care. We had skirted death together. I wanted his body pressed up against my own. The entire idea felt so foreign to me, yet I wanted nothing more than to fake the courage and succumb to the desire. Fight or flight—I had to make a choice before I lost my chance.
I pulled on his collar and stood up on my toes to close my eyes and press my lips against his own—one soft, simple kiss that led a hand onto the side of my neck and inevitably turned into more, every single spark inside of my stomach jolting out with enough intensity to lighten my body like a hollowed-out sun as we gently fell into each other.
He slowly pulled back after a moment and I remembered to breathe, though neither of us moved further away than we had to. I could see him fight the words out past his throat, the bump moving up and down while it rumbled against the tip of my nose. “Tess... we don't—”
I didn't care. I planted my lips on him again and again and kept going. I had already gone over the edge. Everything else seemed trivial. I pulled on his belt and forced him closer. He quickly caught onto the rhythm and wrapped his arms around me, pausing briefly to grab me from behind and lift me up against his waist.
I lost myself in the sensations and couldn't help but let out a stupid grin as he turned us around and plopped me onto the table in front of him. I pressed into him with the inside of my thighs and he got to work on unbuttoning my shirt. I closed my eyes and relished the feeling of the warmth from his breath on my neck as he grabbed and kissed my skin. It was mesmerizing to just give in to the desire and let it happen, but even then I should have known that it would have to come to an end.
A distant argument immediately grew louder until it crashed into our tent, only to instantly cut itself off with a new-found discovery. “Jesus, Jeremy!”
I recognized the accent and turned around to see Isabel, Jeremy pulling himself off of me so that I could jump off and re-button my shirt in an embarrassing flurry.
He tried to buy us some time. “Hey—can you give us a minute?”
“Yeah,” Isabel retorted. “You got seven-hundred-twenty minutes... like it'll even goddamn matter.”
What?
She put a hand up to her face and tried to avert her gaze, but her demeanor quickly betrayed the importance of the matter while Olivia stepped inside a split second later. “You were right... That bitch fucked us over—we are so FUCKED!”
I glanced at Olivia to see she didn't know what was going on either, though it was quickly becoming obvious that the smart, pretty blonde that I had be
en jealous of was having a full on meltdown.
Jeremy's brow collapsed down over his eyes. “What are you talking about?” He got closer as Isabel continued to babble historically and he put his hands on her shoulders. “Izz—Hey. Slow down. Take it easy. Breathe. Look at me... And breathe.”
She did as she was told and managed to calm down enough for Jeremy to continue.
“What's going on?”
I took a step closer to see glassy eyes and she lifted her familiar notebook up, the pages bent and ruffled at odd angles.
“I did the math. I triple checked the numbers. You were right.” She sniffled and pushed the next bit out with new dread. “We never had the gas to make it out. She lied to us. They're not coming back to pick us up.”
“What do you mean?”
“Hayes left us! She took everything and they're all gone!” She pushed him back by the chest and slowly shook her head, the despair steadily creeping along the timbre of her voice. “They're not coming back...”
Human Resources
Jeremy struggled to cope. I could see the clockwork behind his head catch and tear itself up as he stumbled along to process the information. In the end, the only response he could muster up was one made of denial. “Someone must have screwed up or something...”
Isabel flashed to anger. “You saw me do the inventory myself!” She tried punching him in the chest and Olivia quickly got in the way.
“Hold on a second.” She carefully pushed Isabel back towards a corner but ultimately gave her space, holding up her empty palms to either side. “Isabel, hold on. Nobody's saying that you're lying, but we need to think this through. I've worked with Hayes before. She wouldn't just leave everyone behind.”
“No...” Isabel shook her head, her tears still fresh on rosy cheeks. She wiped them off to redouble her efforts. “Not everyone... just Florence and Arrino.”
Jeremy took a step forward. “Yeah, she told us we got picked last. If they run out of time—”
“No, you don't get it!”
Olivia held her back again. “Then explain it to us.”