by Nicola Rose
“So it’s settled then. You’re the one stalking me,” I said, with more confidence than I felt.
“Do you want me to be stalking you?” He sucked on something that smelled like a mint and toyed lazily with chips in one hand. The tricks were good, flipping them effortlessly around his fingers without even seeming to be concentrating on it.
“As if! Why would I want some creepy guy who keeps giving me psycho glares to be following me? Maybe those guys at the beach weren’t the ones to be afraid of?” I spat, my voice a little harsher than intended.
Gut wrenching silence. Oh, way to go. What kind of dickhead would bring that up like this? Burning heat filled my cheeks.
“Maybe you’re right,” he said simply.
Of course I was right. This was the habit of my lifetime, wasn’t it? I couldn’t hide from that string of dodgy men in my past, culminating in The Cage Fighter. He’d been in prison for assault and I’d followed him down some dark paths. It was a slippery slope and somewhat of a miracle that I’d managed to step off it. I really needed to stop chasing down these storms.
“However,” he continued. “You didn’t accidentally attract Mullet-douche, you sought out his attention with your games.” He glanced at his cards and absently threw a stack of chips into the middle as the game continued around him.
“MY games?!”
He stared at me flatly for a moment, before turning back to his cards.
“Anyway, I could have handled it myself,” I scoffed indignantly.
“You’re welcome.” He shot me a fierce look this time, the disapproval on his face quickly turning into full blown reprehension. He could go from nice and smiley to weird and serious in a heartbeat. A familiar buzzing started up in my ears; faint, but growing.
No. No. Not here. The adrenalin bolted around my body. I could feel myself reaching the peak, I was going to do something stupid and then crash. I shouldn’t be here.
Zac cocked his head at me. “You should do what you can to avoid attracting unwanted attention round here, not go seeking it out.”
I stared back at the curious faces around the table, everyone listening to us, the hoard of women eyeing me with disgust.
“Well, I can see you’re still angry about it.” I suddenly felt like a silly little girl. Having a whole table of people watching my telling-off didn’t help. “Thank you, but next time, don’t bother coming to my rescue. I don’t need your help or your fucking cat and mouse stalking. Your games aren’t much fun any longer.”
Outside, I gulped down some air and tried to steady my shaking hands. Tears welled up, which I hastily wiped away.
Well, that was bullshit, Jess. Way to go. If you don’t want or need him in your life, then why are you such an emotional wreck?
It was absurd to be crying. I knew that. But I also knew this was just a dip, a comedown. I’ve ridden out enough lows to recognise them for what they are. My life is a series of peaks and troughs. I surf the highs, buzzing my tits off and searching for the next rush, and when I fail to grab it I crash to the ground in a pathetic heap.
I stuck the key in Loki’s ignition. Fuck it, my clothes and helmet were still stashed in the lockers. I went to open the casino door but changed my mind and sank to the ground. With my back pressed against the wall, I buried my face hard into my knees in a futile attempt to quell the tears.
I always ended up here. Breaking this cycle was going to be harder than I anticipated. Had I really thought that I could come to a hedonistic island and actually sort myself out?!
An arm slid around my shoulder. He pressed his nose into my hair and sighed deeply.
“I’m sorry. No games. No more following from a distance. I want to be with you,” he said, that deep voice making my brain feel like mush.
“So what’s stopping you?” I didn’t dare lift my face, to have him see my red swollen eyes. Or was it that I just couldn’t bare the heartache of seeing his beautiful face right then? Knowing that I needed to stay away from him. Knowing that no matter how much I craved his attention, I had to walk away. He was dangerous.
“It’s complicated.” His words came out in a low hiss and he shifted sideways, increasing the gap between us. This time, I had to look. Had to check if the man who sent me wild with unsolicited desire had really uttered that cliché line.
He was staring straight ahead, eyes hooded with an unknown burden. Popping another mint into his mouth he shook his head slowly. “I’m trying, I really am. I’ll make it work if you give me time.”
“That sounds like one of your parting lines. You going to vanish on me in a puff of freaking smoke again?” Those damn brooding eyes made me want him so much that my chest constricted with the need to reach out and grab him, kiss him, fuck him. He frowned and pressed a fist into his forehead.
“You can’t resist playing with fire can you? Guys don’t like to be hustled by a girl much more than they like to be led on by one. It belittles them, damages their ego,” he said.
“That was their tough shit for not knowing how to play poker. I didn’t force them to hand me their chips.”
His lazy smile made a brief return and my heart fluttered. He had the power to scare me to death in one instant and fill me with wonder the next.
“That guy’s face at the end was priceless. Only played once before, huh?” he rolled his eyes. “Men are so easily and willingly fooled by you.”
“Not you. You’re different.”
He pressed his lips together and looked at his hands, mirroring me by toying with his motorbike key. He flicked it round and round, like he’d done with the poker chips.
“You could tell I was hustling as soon as you walked in, right?” I asked.
“Of course. You’re good, but not that good.”
“One of the guys on my table spotted you and started spouting off. I hear you’re a pretty spectacular player? I could try out my beginner’s luck on you sometime?” I edged back closer to him.
He chuckled, “Even a pro hustler like you can’t beat me. I don’t want your money. Save it.”
“Oh.” I wanted to come back with a remark about how cocky his confidence was, or that we could play for fun, not money — perhaps strip poker — but rejection pain pricked behind my eyes at the declined offer. I never said it had to be money, it was just a sociable suggestion.
“Maybe a little friendly competition elsewhere then, away from the poker tables?” Turned out his rejection just made me more determined. I was talking reflexively, before I’d even thought about it. I hated it when that happened. Typical Aries impulsiveness.
“I’m not racing your motorcycle,” he folded his arms across his chest and gave me a stern look. He needed to loosen up. For such a wild party guy he was awfully well behaved around me. Whatever his brother was up to with missing girls, I found it impossible to believe he was the same. Yes, he was weird, but in a different way.
“That’s not what I was going to ask… I…. I don’t….” Wait a minute, was I about to say that? It occurred to me that I probably was. “Why not, are you chicken?”
“Yes, I am,” he deadpanned. “I’m not racing you. I’m not racing a—”
“What?” I snapped. “A girl? You won’t race a girl?”
“Something like that,” he smiled grimly.
“You know, I had you down as being a little more exciting. So what then, dinner? That can’t be too scary for you?”
“Dinner,” he stated, giving a non-committal grunt and shifting up onto his feet.
“Jesus, Zac! You watch me all the time, you seem interested in me, but you constantly dodge all my moves towards you. I just don’t get you at all. What are you doing?”
“I want to do the right thing,” he sighed, returning his attention to me, eyes catching on my bruised wrist.
“I’m only trying to ask you out, this shouldn’t require that much thought,” I threw my head back in despair and ran a hand up and down my neck. When I looked back down he was staring at me all intently, tense
again. As usual he recomposed himself so fast that I couldn’t work out what the expression had been on his face.
“How about a walk along the beach,” he suggested.
“The beach? How very tame. And not at all uncomfortable after our last meeting there,” I pouted, but then I had an idea. “I know the perfect place right up at the far North end, it’s deserted this time of night. Anna showed it to me when I first got here. We’d have it to ourselves.”
“What’s wrong with the main beach?”
“Well, memories, like I said, and it’s too crowded.”
Why didn’t he want to be alone with me? That had to be a good sign, right? At least, on the psycho front. If he wanted to kidnap me then he’d surely leap at the chance for isolation.
I was sick of the games. It was time to spice things up whether he liked it or not. Before I even finished thinking about it I snatched the key out of his hand and found myself astride his bike, fumbling with the ignition.
“Whoa, what are you doing?” He appeared unsure whether he should grab hold of me or if I was joking. I didn’t even know what I was doing myself, but I threw Loki’s key at him and the next thing his Harley roared to life and I was off, front wheel leaving the ground as I sped away.
I shouted back something embarrassingly childish like “Wooo hoooooooo. You’re gonna have to race me now, Mommy’s boy, I got your chopper! Want it back? Come and get it! Wooooo ha ha ha ha ha.”
I had a vague notion of people shouting at me and staring, pointing at the crazy girl tearing up the road in a mini skirt, high heels and not even a helmet.
Yes, that was me, because I’m clearly a complete shitwit.
8
Zac
“Unbelievable, stupid, crazy woman!” I shouted out loud, grabbing her Ducati and taking off after her. How did I not see that coming? She didn’t even think that, she just did it. She’s so hard to track, so spontaneous.
Oh, you won’t race a girl? Her voice rang in my head. No, I won’t race a human… girl… one that I need in my life. “You’re far too fragile and breakable you crazy bitch,” I yelled, as I ripped open the throttle and pulled alongside her.
We sped down the highway with me yelling at her to stop, and she just kept looking at me, shrugging and speeding up. She was afraid of the anger she could see in my face. Frightened that when she stopped I was literally going to kill her for what she’d done. I sincerely hoped she was wrong, but she might very well be right.
“The ROAD, look at the ROAD.” She finally registered my flapping and steered back in the right direction, coming way too close to wrapping herself around a streetlight.
I positioned myself in front of her and hit the brake, but she accelerated and dodged around. She was pretty good. Still, my reactions could outstrip hers easily and I could’ve re-adjusted myself in front of her before she could get past, she was so crazy though, I knew that with the speed of it all she’d just crash into me in confusion.
We left the city limits and entered the Strip. My Cell and I race here often, but I never thought I’d be having this kind of race. The road is a continuation of the main highway; it keeps going and going, right through the sand dunes and ends abruptly. There’s nothing out this far, just sand and more sand. It was the beach that she had been wanting us to come to, to be alone together. I hadn’t realised she was that desperate to get here.
At least I didn’t have to worry about her hitting a car or streetlight now that we were so isolated, but we were rapidly approaching the end and it dawned on me that she didn’t know it was coming. The road dead ends suddenly into the dunes. Maybe she hadn’t been this far out with Anna — it’s a long strip, she could have stopped earlier on her previous visit. I honked the horn and got in front of her again, but she was oblivious.
We were hurtling towards the end at over a hundred. She finally realised what was coming. Too late. At that speed there was no way she could stop in time. I felt the fear smack her in the face like a battering ram. She looked to me in panic as she slammed the brakes so hard that the back wheel locked and she lost control of the metal death-trap underneath her.
I decided in that instant that after today I was skipping town for a while. This beautiful tornado of a woman was driving me to limits that I wasn’t sure I could handle. I didn’t want to have to do something that might let her see who I was, but she left me no choice.
There was only seconds left, yet it unfolded like slow motion to me, I had plenty of time. I threw my body at Jess, grabbing her with one arm, whilst keeping the Ducati pinned between my legs and grabbing the Harley’s handlebars with my free hand. One foot jolted into the road, nearly breaking my leg as I pushed off and leapt sideways.
I flung us all into the dunes ten feet from the side of the road and took the full force of the landing, slowing and breaking the impact of the crash, my ribs fracturing. We skidded through the sand and came to a stop with her pulled over me, wrapped in my protective embrace. It would all have been over in a flash to her.
Just like her imminent death if she kept provoking the Beast.
She lay completely still on top of me. Her heart pounded through her chest onto mine, and the smell of her fear, of her blood racing through her veins; it was unbearable. Like wafting crack under the nose of an addict.
The darkness lapped at the back of my neck, prickling right down through my spine. Sweet Jesus, who was this woman? With her impulsiveness and blinding aura, unlike any I’ve ever seen before. Not to mention her scent which ripped through every part of me, filling me with more desire than I could take.
Deep-rooted need rose from within me, starting at my cock and spreading to my fangs. Or was it the other way around? Maybe it started with the fangs. Fuck knows. It was almost impossible to separate the two. They both throbbed and ached with insatiable desire to have her. To consume her. To take her in every possible way and make her mine.
Taste her. Just a little bit. One small sip of her sweet blood…
My boner pressed into her and my lips skirted along her throat. She groaned, leaning in closer.
Fuck this. Fuck it all.
I clenched my teeth and shoved her off me, dragging my legs away, fighting against the darkness. Each step was agony, taking me further from the paradise she offered. She also offered hell, darkness and misery. Once that Beast was loose there would be no putting it back in its little box, not without an epic fight.
I went over to the motorcycles, engines still roaring, and stood them up. Hopefully she wouldn’t notice the ease with which I lifted them, but that was hardly a big deal now. I silenced the noise with swift turns of the keys. A cracked yellow sign lay on the floor where my leg had knocked it from a pole as we crashed — ironically it read Road Ends Ahead. The bikes were scraped up, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed. They’d crashed into the sand dune, which made for a soft landing.
“Are you OK?” I asked, without turning back to look.
She didn’t reply.
“Say something,” I urged.
“Are you OK?”
“I’m fine.” Get a grip. Turn to face her. Take her.
“How are you fine? HOW am I fine?” She waved her arms around frantically. “One second I was doing a zillion miles an hour with the end of the road right there, but then instead of getting totalled I was here, on top of you… with the bikes just there… and there’s barely more than a scratch on us or them.”
Here we go. “Yeah, we were lucky. Must have guardian angels.” Hahahahahaaa.
She seemed to ponder on that for a while, face in her hands. I sat back down beside her. I’ve got this. I’ve been acclimatising. Deep breaths.
“When are you going to yell at me?” she asked.
“I thought I’d save it until I’m sure you’re alright.”
“Seriously, you must be hurt. We flew pretty far and I landed right on top of you.”
“No, I’m fine.” She reached out and I shrank back against my instinct, the two needs fighting ea
ch other in an endless inner turmoil.
She was thinking about how I looked a little too fine, with the same calm expression as usual, not even surprised by our good state of health. I ought to pretend to be hurt. My ribs would take a few hours to heal, but the pain was insignificant. She got busy probing her body, trying to find some pain of her own somewhere.
“How did we land like that? You must have literally leaped off and pulled us, and the bikes, into the sand? But I landed so softly. I don’t understand,” she said.
“You’re in shock. Moments like that where you panic tend to happen in slow motion in your mind. It all feels very surreal. We managed to brake in time and ran ourselves off here, that’s all. We had a lucky landing with the road being surrounded by sand.”
“No…we were going too fast, and my back wheel had locked. I was fucked. I thought I was going to die. One second you were in front of me and then you were leaping and grabbing, so fast.”
“Drop it, will you? I told you, you’re in shock. Come on, I’ll leave my chopper here and ride you home on yours.”
“What, my bike that barely has a scratch on it after a high speed crash, much like myself?” she screeched. “You don’t even seem fazed by any of it. What if you’re in shock – you just had an accident too, remember?” She stamped her foot and I nearly laughed. Something which didn’t happen often enough these days.
Instead I let anger take over my outer facade, a good way to distract her from the questioning.
“I did just have an accident, didn’t I? And why was that? Oh yes, because you stole my fucking Harley and took off like a maniac. ‘Ooooooh, chase me, chase me’. Another one of your games, just trying to have a bit of fun, right?” I moved toward her aggressively. That part wasn’t intentional. It was the moonlight radiating off her heaving chest, the silence and darkness around us. The fear. Helpless prey.