Innocent Ride

by Chelsea Camaron

  The room spins as I barely make it into the stall before emptying the meager contents of my stomach.

  Alvin Higgins. My past transgressions are mixing with my current ones in a sloppy mess, and I only have two options.

  Give into Chad.

  Or quit my job and give up my dreams.

  When people say your college years are time for you to make mistakes, they weren’t kidding. However, they fail to tell you those mistakes will haunt you until the end of your days. Skeletons rarely stay in the closet; they have a way of tumbling out, no matter how deep you bury them.

  ~Rex~

  “You have got to be shittin’ me.”

  I am at the office with Tripp after returning from a four day run. Knowing Lux has had trouble with the asshole at work, I have tried to be there for her in the background without her knowing by either a quick phone call or a text once a day.

  Tripp, on the other hand, has used that time to have our guys dig into this Chad guy’s background, and what they found isn’t pretty.

  “Wish I was, Rex. Hell, when Doll first told me Caroline was having problems with a douchebag at work, I didn’t think it would turn into this.”

  I run my hands through my hair in frustration. Lux is in danger—serious fucking danger—and she doesn’t even know it. Every woman he comes in contact with is in danger. Scum, evil, every darkness that could crawl inside someone’s soul must live inside this man for him to sleep at night after doing all the awful things he has done.

  The report sits in front of me. Pictures of battered women in hospitals, after going out just once with him, haunt me as I close my eyes and try to calm the rage brewing inside of me. Stalking, sexual assault, rape, assault with a deadly weapon, genital mutilation, sexual harassment—and the list goes on.

  There are eight victims here that we have a trail to. Eight fucking woman who have been impacted by this man and his sick, twisted desires. He gets off on being in a position to overpower them and blackmailing them. Every single one of them were women he worked with at different companies over the years, yet not one of them followed through with charges or filing complaints.

  Blowing out a breath, I try to let go of my frustrations. How does he sleep at night? How does this not weigh on his conscious? I am far from a saint, but it has taken me time to get over some of the things I have done.

  The first kill wrecked me. I was on a transport with Tripp. We were young, way too cocky, and had five drinks too many one night in a small Mississippi town. Out of our territory, out of our minds, and way too fucked up to care, we weren’t alert when the sport bikes surrounded our truck in the bar’s parking lot. Heading out, talking shit about the Ninjas, we were outnumbered, out armed, and thoroughly fucked.

  Kill or be killed. Funny how quickly adrenaline kicks in.

  Before I even realized what was going on, Tripp had a knife pulled on him. In a split second, he had the same knife in one guy’s gut and that man’s gun pulled on another guy. When the attention went to my biker brother, my blood cousin, my family, I snapped.

  Yeah, I took a bullet to the leg that night, but I also shot two guys in the head before they could take out Tripp. Then we busted up the others pretty well before he got me in the truck and we pulled out. Two towns later, I went to the hospital, got the bullet wound checked, cleaned, and got the hell out of dodge.

  Just one time answering all those questions made us aware of every move we make when out of our territory, and facing Roundman when we got home was a punishment worse than jail. Still, even after that, I dreamed of that night over and over for months before Frisco stepped in and reminded me, if I hadn’t killed them, they were sure as shit going to kill me. They were a biker gang known for stealing trucks on transports to sell the contents on the street. They had a number of kills under them, most of them innocent truck drivers who knew nothing of the life.

  The Hellions don’t kill for turf wars, never have. Self-defense? Yes, I will take a life without hesitation. When seconds count, they will count on my side. Have I killed for retribution? Sure as fuck did—for Tessie. Does it bother me? Nope.

  What haunts me? Not being able to save her guts me. Not being there to prevent that fucker Shep from ever touching her in the first place keeps me up at night. Honestly, at the cabin with Shooter and Shep, we weren’t harsh enough. What’s done is done. I can’t go back, but I can move forward and make sure no other woman close to me gets dealt the hand Tessie was in that stock room at the greasy, dirty hands of Shep.

  “Rex, he’s got connections. All this information was buried, none of it public record.”

  I look at the stack of files, and my gut twists. “How deep?”

  “Deep enough we had to call in an outside hacker.”

  “Fuck!” I roar as the helplessness engulfs me.

  “Gonna put a man on her,” Tripp states like the solution is that simple.

  “No. You’re gonna keep me home, and I’m gonna be on her.”

  “Rex, she barely tolerates you. Hell, I don’t know that she’s gonna be okay with us having anyone on her. She’s told Doll more times than I can count that she’s fine and overreacted,” Tripp challenges, watching me carefully.

  “Lux doesn’t overreact, and we’re friends now. She’s not gonna be okay with us having just anyone on her, but she’ll tolerate me. I’ll make sure of it.”

  “Friends?” he questions, raising an eyebrow at me.

  “Yeah, watched movies and had cheesecake and shit.”

  When Tripp busts out laughing at me, I punch him in the arm without holding back. “Not funny, fucker. I’m serious. We hung out last week, and I’ve been texting her and shit. We’re good. We’re friends.”

  “Come on, you, Lux, and cheesecake? You really want me to believe this? You fucked her.”

  “No, I didn’t. I’m trying really hard here, man,” I state honestly.

  “Trying really hard to what, Rex? She’s not like the barflies. She’s not even like Doll or Tessie. She doesn’t know our world or understand it.”

  “None of that shit matters, Tripp. She’s ours, and we protect what’s ours.”

  “She’s not attached to the club, Rex. She’s attached to Doll.”

  “Good enough for me. Tessie wasn’t attached to the club, technically, but we had her back. With Lux, I’m gonna have her front, back, sides, and everywhere in between. I failed Tessie; I won’t fail Lux.”

  “You’re serious.”

  “Dead serious.” I drop my hand on the file for the scum bag I plan to take to the ground.

  “This isn’t club business. Hell, Rex, we don’t actually know what happened that night. Doll doesn’t push, and Lux doesn’t give up anything.”

  “Let me do this my way, Tripp. I just need to know you have my back.”

  He smacks my shoulder. “Always, brother.”

  Chapter Five

  Whiskey

  ~Caroline~

  Kenna found me puking in the bathroom at work and sent me home for the day. If she only knew I didn’t have a virus like she thought. No, I had no guts to face my past or my boss.

  Back home, my mind goes back.

  Alvin Higgins, my once ‘employer.’ God, if Chad knows about that, he will definitely push harder for more from me. He just found all the leverage he needs to make me do anything he wants.

  My doorbell ringing shakes me out of my memory. Looking at the clock, I can’t believe how much time has passed with me lost in my past. It is well past dark, well past dinner, and well past a reasonable hour for someone to visit me.

  Looking out the peephole, on the other side of my door is Delilah. Quickly, I open the door for my close friend.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I ask as the worry builds inside me for my friend.

  “Ice cream,” she simply states, raising a plastic bag.

  She brushes past me as I shut the door and follow her to my kitchen. The pints are lined up on my counter as she searches the drawers for spoons. />
  “Chunky Monkey? Really, Delilah, you know me better.”

  “Lux—” she starts, but I throw my hand up to stop her.

  “Oh, no, don’t you even. I’m Caroline or Cola to you, but you do not call me Lux,” I reply firmly, reminding her of my nickname thanks to an auto-correct blunder during a text once that changed my name to cola.

  “Right now, you are being the ‘deluxe’ model. It’s ice cream. Who doesn’t love some Cherry Garcia?” she asks, smiling and holding up the pint of flavored goodness.

  “I’m sure plenty of people love all that … just not me. Vanilla Bean Haagan Dazs is the only ice cream I eat, and you know this.”

  “Walk on the wild side, Lux,” she jokes, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

  “Oh, Delilah. If only it was so simple,” I sigh. “Why are you really here at almost ten at night?”

  “You didn’t answer anyone’s calls. I tried, Rex tried, Sass tried, and even Kenna. We know you left work early, and we were worried.”

  Scooping up the container of chunky frozen treat, I walk over to my couch. I eye the container like it could somehow swallow me up and save me from my friend’s speculative stare.

  How do I tell Delilah all my secrets? I am not who she thinks I am or who I was or … I don’t know. Hell, who am I?

  “Talk to me, Caroline.”

  “Don’t know what to say, Delilah.”

  “You say, I need some help. I got a double decker douchebag at work harassing me. That would be a start,” she responds sarcastically, like it is so easy.

  “Okay, I have a double decker douchebag at work bothering me,” I repeat her words with a snarky tone. “I can handle it, though.”

  “Yeah, looks like you’re handling it so well.”

  As I twist the spoon in the softening ice cream without eating any of it, Delilah’s small hand reaches out and squeezes my wrist before dropping it.

  “Come on, we’re friends. Let me help you, even if it’s just to listen. Kenna had some trouble in the past with Chad, so I know he has a history, Caroline. Now tell me what he is doing to you that has you tied in knots. This is your dream job, yet you aren’t happy. I’ve never seen you so on edge. I’ve never seen you so shaken and not confident.”

  I hang my head in shame. Am I that transparent? I look at the ice cream melting, revealing the bumpy contents mixed beneath. This is a prime example of my world right now. The exterior is melting away, revealing all the bumps in my past. Everything I have tried to cover up is close to being exposed, and I don’t have the first clue what to do about it.

  “You can tell me anything, Caroline. I’m not one to judge. I’m your friend no matter what.”

  I bark out a half laugh. “My entire future has fallen apart.”

  “Because of this Chad guy? Look, Caroline, I know Kenna had something happen with him. Tripp can talk to Jake and find out what really happened. Obviously, he has a pattern of pestering the women he works with. Let Tripp, Rex, and the Hellions help you.”

  “Yeah,” I laugh rudely at her. “If something happened to Kenna, why haven’t your badass Hellions done anything before now?”

  “Watch yourself, Caroline. That’s my family you are challenging. My. Entire. Family.”

  I drop my head in defeat. I don’t mean to be a bitch, but I don’t see what her so called family can do for me.

  “We live by a code, Caroline. One that is hard for an outsider to understand. Jake isn’t patched in. Kenna and Jake are family, but we can’t offer club protection or retaliation.”

  Protection. Retaliation. While my head spins, I look at my long-time friend like she has two heads, and she giggles like this is normal conversation. Oh, what are you having for dinner? Lasagna with a side of vengeance. What the hell is this motorcycle club stuff really?

  “Stop overthinking everything. We’re family and we protect what’s ours. We offered to back Jake up, but you gotta know, with his military career, we can’t step in too much.”

  “Delilah, stop talking. You’re making crazy mob thoughts pop in my head.” I shake my head, trying to clear my crazy mind from racing.

  “Don’t act like you don’t know. You’re intelligent and not blind to my lifestyle.”

  I frown at her. I am not oblivious, but I don’t want to know all of this, either.

  She reaches out and smacks my thigh. “I get it, Caroline. You are innocent, naïve in a way to a lot of what goes on in my world, but you aren’t stupid.”

  “I don’t want to put out a ‘hit’ on Chad,” I spit out before I even realize what I am saying, and Delilah laughs at me.

  “First, we wouldn’t put a ‘hit’ on Chad. Stop watching so much TV. The boys will just make it known you ride with us and are protected by us.”

  “He doesn’t come from your world, either. He doesn’t have to follow your code.”

  “No, he doesn’t, but come on, if a guy like Rex makes one visit to him, a pussy like Chad will back off.”

  Tears fill my eyes. Yeah, he might back off … after he shares all of my secrets with anyone who will listen. I will be blacklisted in my profession. He is my immediate supervisor; therefore, he is the person to give my reference if I were to try to get another job. Rex stepping in will be just the thing to push him over the edge to ruin me completely. Now, more than ever, I need the Hellions to back off.

  “I’ve faced worse than Chad Stillwell. I have it under control,” I state firmly.

  When her phone chimes with a text message, she smiles at whatever came across the screen.

  “It’s late. I’m good. Go home to your man.”

  She frowns at me, her eyes searching mine for something. I am not sure what, though.

  “There is more to this than you are telling me. Cola, I’m here for you. There is nothing you can’t tell me.”

  “One day, Doll, one day.”

  Her eyes dance as I use her nickname rather than her actual name like I normally do.

  “It’s not so bad on the ‘wrong’ side of the tracks, ya know,” she adds with a wink as she gets up and takes her empty ice cream container to the trash.

  If she only knew what side of the tracks I truly came from. If they all only knew.

  She pauses at my door as I follow her out.

  “Secrets always find a way to come out. Nothing is ever really buried, forgotten, or hidden forever, but we can help you, Caroline. No matter what it is, we can help you.” Without another word, she leaves and doesn’t look back as I stand in my open doorway, taking in her last statement.

  ~Rex~

  Tapping my hand on the bar, I signal for Corinne to give me another whiskey straight. The liquid burns going all the way down to the pit of my stomach. Looking around Ruthless, my head spins, and not from the alcohol.

  Finishing the drink, I slam the glass down on the bar harshly. Corinne immediately serves me another with a look that clearly shows she understands tonight I need to drown in every drink I can get.

  Boomer idles up to me, climbing on the stool beside me as I down yet another one. He reaches out and grabs the glass just as Corinne places the next one in front of me.

  He drinks, quickly shaking his head as the alcohol hits him, burning its way down to the pits of his insides. I eye him in warning not to take my next drink as I slap the bar again.

  “Rex,” he begins.

  I hold up my hand to stop him. “Don’t, Boomer. Don’t think you know what I’m doing. Don’t think you know what I’m thinking. Just don’t talk. You’re welcome to sit here and drink with me in silence, but that’s it.”

  “I’m not one to watch a brother sit back and drown, and I’m definitely not one to keep my mouth shut when someone I know is lost. You got frustrations, Rex. Understandably so. Pound that out in easy pussy, not by pounding away the drinks. That only leads to a hangover.” With that, he slides off the stool, nodding at Purple Pussy Pamela who immediately makes her way to him. They take off to the back.

  The back. The stockroom is in
the back. The stockroom where Shep got to Tessie. Why the fuck do I keep coming back to Ruthless?

  Feeling like the walls are closing in on me, I get up and stagger my way out of the building. As I step outside, the fresh air assaults my nose like an awakening. It’s too late to go back. With a shift in the wind or maybe I am so drunk I feel like the wind is blowing around me, Pop’s voice plays in my head like a recording.

  Can’t change what’s already been done once it’s done, boys. You’re gonna make mistakes, and it’s gonna hurt to learn from them. But hurting brings on healing, boys. What hurts the most, what you feel the most that is what you carry with you. Sometimes, life will bring you to your knees, but how you pick yourself up off the ground determines the kind of man you are.

  While I look over my shoulder at the shack we call a bar, my knees feel weak, like they are going to buckle under my weight both physically and emotionally. I blow out a breath as I try to stay upright.

  Noise beside me causes me to turn my head. Keri, a skinny, blonde barfly is making her way over to me.

  Boldly, she reaches out and cups the crotch of my jeans. “You look lost, Rex. Let me help you find a home for that dinosaur in your pants,” she flirts with me.

  My own words coming back at me only make my stomach churn.

  The jokes, the carefree way I have lived my life to this point, all eat at me. Nothing feels right anymore, nothing feels normal.

  I look down at the girl in front of me, and she licks her lip, making my dick stir. The whiskey adds to the blur of thoughts in my mind. I just want to feel something, anything right now.

  “Oh I’ve got a dinosaur in my pants. Think you can handle it, huh? I may have to taste that tight cunt of yours before I release the beast.”

  I grab Keri by the hand. Sure, I fucked her once, maybe a year ago or so, and this isn’t the first time she has tried to get a round two with me. Usually, I don’t do repeat performances. Tonight, however, she is willing and I am able, so I am going to give her exactly what she is asking for.