“What’s in your past that he could hold over your head?” Kenna inquires.
I push my sandwich away, unable to eat as my stomach churns with all my mistakes. Loyalty hits me like a sledgehammer.
“Kenna, one day, I will share with you. In the last hour, I have shared more with you than Doll or Rex, who have made sacrifices to make me feel safe. If I’m going to share my sorted history with someone, it needs to be them.”
She smiles softly at me. “That’s what’s so great about club life. It’s family. It’s safety. It’s acceptance without questions. I know it’s hard to take in. The Hellions, though, they have taken you in without hesitation. Let Rex be your instructor to the freedom of family and the open road.” She winks at me as she stands to clear off our plates so we can go back to work.
Acceptance without hesitation… She’s right; the Hellions have given me that. They have always welcomed me into the fold as if I was born there. How have I not seen this before?
~Rex~
Working my schedule to be where she needs me isn’t easy. Nothing worth having is ever easy, though. No, she didn’t ask me to follow her to work. She certainly didn’t ask me to walk out of my office in the middle of Tripp scheduling stuff to be there when she gets off, either. Her comfort and security is my priority. She doesn’t feel safe, so work can wait until after I have her home and at ease.
Once I pull up beside her car and wait, she exits the building with her head down, her skirt suit hugging her curves as her jacket lays over her arm, the buttons of her top straining at her breasts.
I lick my lips as my dick stirs, wanting to slide between the mounds of her naked bosom. Yes, I want to titty-fuck her. I want to mouth fuck her. To be honest, I want to just plain fuck her any way I can.
Her head comes up and looks to her left as if she senses someone around. She scans her perimeter before her gaze lands on me. When reality hits her that I am indeed sitting here on my motorcycle, waiting for her, she smiles the most beautiful smile I have ever seen in my entire life. Then the sway to her hips becomes more pronounced. Strut, baby, strut.
It takes every ounce of self-control inside me not to whistle. Something in me shifts, and for once, it isn’t just my cock coming to life. I take a breath and feel alive. I feel a purpose. I feel my heart literally beat in my chest for something more.
“Good day, sweetheart? Or ya just that happy to see me?” I ask as she approaches.
“Always happy to see you, Rex. Somehow, you are winning me over. You are forever full of surprises, Drexel Crews.”
“Oh, Lux, you have no idea,” I add with a wink.
“As pleasant a surprise as this is, why are you here?”
“Came to make sure you get home safe. Until we know what happened to Chad and until you feel safe, I’ll be here. Consider me your personal escort, Lux.”
“Escort, huh?” she flirts with me.
Oh, the things this woman does to me.
I spread my arms out wide. “At your service, ma’am.”
As she smiles bigger, I swear my heart skips a beat. She taps her perfectly manicured nail against her lips as if she is thinking of things to do to me, but then my phone rings, bringing us both out of the moment.
“Rex,” I answer, pissed the hell off.
“Way to take off, asshole. You got a nine-one-oh in the morning,” Tripp orders through the other end of the phone.
“No.”
“Excuse me, fucker, what did you say? I know I missed something, or you are talkin’ to someone else,” Tripp snaps back.
“Didn’t stutter, Prez,” I reply, letting the sarcasm drip off my tongue.
Yeah, I am being a dick to my cousin, to my Hellion brother, and even more than that, my club President. Yeah, I am digging a hole that is more than deep enough to bury myself in. I have never told Tripp no. Honestly, I have never said no to the club. No matter the job, no matter the cost to my soul, I have never refused my responsibility to my patch … until today. Tripp got me involved in Lux’s mess, so how can he really expect me to walk away from her right now?
“Prez, huh? You’re a pussy whipped fucker now, is that it?”
“Call it however you want.”
“She’s not club property, so we can only do so much, Rex. Hell, she told us to back off a while back. I need you on this run.”
Lux is watching me intently, just out of arms reach, waiting for me to get off the phone and tell her why I am here. Yet, I have other people to answer to first. Anger and resentment fill me. Not club property. She’s not club property. Tripp would never be torn between his ol’ lady and the club. The club would never pull Shooter away from Tessie if she was in danger again.
A thought hits me, and before I can stop myself, the words spill out into the phone. “She’s mine. She’s my ol’ lady. Shit’s goin’ down with the misses. I can’t go. Sort it out, Tripp.”
“What the fuck are you doin’, man?”
Rather than answer him, I swipe the screen of my phone to end the call.
What the fuck am I doing? I haven’t the slightest idea, but the shit feels right.
“Sounds intense, Rex.” Lux states, watching me as I do nothing except stare at her. “You okay?”
“And you care, why?” I question, needing affirmation from her that I didn’t just put everything on the line for nothing in return.
“Friends, remember? I believe you said, just friends, innocent enough?” she adds with a wink that is far from innocent.
“Ride with me,” I barely choke out. Emotions fill me, thoughts consume me, and I need the open road to clear my head right now. I need Lux on my bike with her arms around my waist and her body pressed to mine. I need my bike, my woman, and the freedom of the pavement passing beneath us.
Without hesitation, she puts her bag into the back of her car, her heels clicking on the pavement. Then this sexy as fuck, suit wearing, high class broad hikes the edges of her skirt up and climbs behind me as if it is second nature. Her skirt bunches up around her upper thighs, barely keeping her ass covered as she adjusts to the confinements of my bike. Her heels hook to the foot pegs as if she were made to ride with me.
As her thighs close tightly around me, I take my helmet off and hand it to her. When her hands come to my sides, letting me know she has secured the safety gear, I lace my fingers with hers then pull her front flush to my back and bring her arms fully around me. I only release her hands once I lay them flatly against the crotch of my jeans.
“Feel it, Lux. Feel the entire ride with me.”
“Rex,” she whispers against my ear, blowing her breath down my neck and causing my dick to twitch in my jeans.
“I’m gonna start the bike. The vibration is going to hum through your ass, your pussy, and up your spine. Every curve, you will lean in with me. Your body pressed to mine, you’ll feel me just as much as I’ll feel you. Every bump will rock your body against my bike and my body. Grip me, ride me, hug me, and be in this moment with me. Whatever you do, Lux, don’t think, don’t question, and don’t let go.” At my last words, I laugh then crank the engine, twist the throttle, and rev the bike, knowing I just sent a shock of vibrations through her mind and her body.
I need to let everything go as well as for her to let go of the weight of the world on her shoulders and simply ride with me.
“Time to feel free, Lux. Time to be free. Let it all go. Be with me.”
“Rex,” she whispers one more time before I feel her lips softly touch the curve of my neck.
Without another word, I pull away to take my woman on a ride I hope she will never forget.
Chapter Twelve
We Ride
~Caroline~
Vulnerable. Since my situation with Chad began, I have felt fear. I have felt weakness. I have felt guilt. However, most of all, I have just felt vulnerable.
Rex stirs a lot of things in me. He makes me feel emotions I never thought I was capable of feeling. He gives me a sense of peace and security I h
ave never had. When I am with Rex, I am powerless to deny or fight the pull he has over me. Not only am I powerless to deny him, but part of me also wants to see what he will bring out of me next.
I don’t know what his conversation was about or what any of it means. The only thing I do know is that during the entire phone call, his eyes never left mine. During those few minutes, I could feel the emotions and insecurities flowing through him. I can’t explain it, but in that moment, I felt a connection build between us in a way I have never felt before.
Therefore, when he offered the ride, I couldn’t have refused even if I tried. Here I am, wrapped around Rex like a koala bear or a monkey, all arms and legs without a care in the world, and there is a piece of me that just knows Rex would lay down his life before he allows harm to come to me.
We ride; just Rex, his bike, me, and the miles behind us. The more we ride, the more I relax. The vibration of the bike under me, the feel of his leather cut rubbing against the thin fabric of my shirt and lace bra, and his cock hardening under my hands all turn me on in a way I have never been before. The open road is a pure aphrodisiac all on its own. Add the sensations of the ride, and my body is on fire.
I stroke Rex through his jeans. I lick his neck. All while he stares straight ahead at the road in front of us.
With my head on his shoulder, my arms around him, it dawns on me.
As I look at the road ahead with Rex, I see things in a new light. No longer does my past have a power over me. It is not the road behind us that defines us. No, the path of our past only leads us to where we are today. The lanes before us are the journey of our own making, of our own choices.
We come to a sharp curve, and instinctively, I lean into Rex. My body presses farther into his back. However, he never moves under me. He has me. Rock solid, he will keep me steady.
How does something so on the edge, something so dangerous, remind me I am truly safe? There is a freedom in leaving the past behind you and allowing yourself to feel the curves of the road. The feel of each bump is there, but you ride through it and keep going forward. Life keeps going much like the road in front of us. The bumps in the road can either hold me back or guide me forward.
The more I let go of my past, the more I cling to Rex. I lick his neck and bite down in need, in want, and in the freedom of going after my future. He pulls the throttle, springing us forward, faster, and the adrenaline it brings only pushes me to a higher ecstasy.
Far too soon, we come to a stop at a little park on the side of the road. I climb off in the most ungraceful and unladylike way possible. Surprisingly, though, I don’t care.
Rex is tense, and I want to relieve that for him. This ride gave me that release. I want him to feel free from whatever is troubling him right now.
Silently, he climbs off the bike. Taking my hand, he laces our fingers together and leads us to a picnic table before releasing me. Then he sits on the table part, legs spread, elbows on his knees. His chin rests on his fists as he watches me intently. I have never seen Rex this on edge.
“You wanna talk about that call?”
“What do you know of my life? Real deal, Lux, what do you think of my club?”
I hear his phone vibrating in his back pocket, but he ignores it.
I pause to make sure my words are right. The last thing I want to do is make him think I am judging him again.
“I think the Hellions are family. I know there is a lot I don’t know and don’t understand. I know as an outsider there is a lot you can’t tell me, or won’t tell me, or whatever.”
“It’s not because you’re an outsider, Lux.”
I look at him inquisitively.
“It’s because you’re a woman.” My shock must show as he smiles that Rex panty-melting smile. “It’s a boys only type of club. No women can patch in.”
“Doll’s a Hellion. Sass is one,” I defend, not understanding.
“Doll’s property by Tripp, not because of Roundman. Sass is property because she’s Tank’s ol’ lady.”
“Ol’ lady, I really hate that term. I know Doll loves it, but yeah, I don’t get it.”
He laughs lightly at me, but it doesn’t feel genuine.
“Lux, I did something today. You may not like it, but I need you to hear me out.”
I nod my head, silently begging him to continue.
“This shit with Chad. It should be over. Only, it’s not. There are more questions than answers. You aren’t safe, Lux. You gotta know that yourself. Look at how on edge you are.”
I nod at him, trying to understand what he is getting at.
“I claimed you today.”
“Like, I’m yours? Like, we’re together?”
“Yeah,” he replies while watching me for a reaction.
I am stronger than he thinks. I can handle this.
“Yeah,” I repeat and step forward between his legs, forcing him to drop his hands. “Innocent, Rex. Friends, Rex. What happened to that?”
His arms come around, pulling me closer to him. He squeezes my ass before whispering in my ear, “Never been a damn thing innocent about me in my whole fuckin’ life, Lux. You shoulda known that goin’ in, sweetheart.”
My breath comes out in pants as lust makes my heart race. “What are we doing, then?”
He pulls back from me. “I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “I really don’t know, Lux.”
“Why did you claim me?” God, that sounds so weird to say. Can I fit into his world?
He sighs, and a pain shows in his eyes. There is a deep sorrow in his features now. “Caroline, I messed up. I made the wrong choice. Do you have regrets? Have you ever had that moment in life where the road lay before you, and you chose the wrong path? The mistake that haunts you, not in your sleep—no, the one that stares back in the mirror at you every time you dare to take a glance.”
My first thought is Alvin Higgins. The easy way does not come without its own consequences. I allowed myself to become everything I never wanted to be all because of one poor choice that snowballed into one huge regret.
“Rex, my past is far from clean.”
“Lux, I played so many games with the mother of my child that she hid my kid from me.”
“You were young, and she did what was best for your son. Things have changed now though. It’s all working out.”
He reaches up and places his index finger on my lips to gently silence me.
“I bailed on her. I left her alone one night. She was attacked brutally, Lux.”
“You aren’t Superman, Rex; you can’t save the world,” I defend him, hating to see the pain in his eyes from bringing this up.
His finger hooks into my mouth and onto my bottom teeth to silence me yet again. The salt from his skin fills my mouth as the pain deepens in the darkness of his gaze.
“In my world, Lux, women aren’t touched without retribution. Only, Tessie wasn’t mine—she was ours without really being ours. She needed protection. One sentence is all I had to say to protect her. I didn’t, though. No, I goaded my brother, Shooter, into stepping up so I wouldn’t have to. I failed her.” His eyes meet mine in a firm stare. His next words are slow, deliberate, and feel as if they are an earth shattering promise should things go wrong. “I won’t fail you.”
It all comes crashing down around me. This isn’t about me. Rex doesn’t have feelings for me, and his claim isn’t about me. This isn’t about starting something with me. No, this is about past regrets.
I pull back harshly.
“You’re off the hook, Rex. You shared your soul; now, guilt removed. You are pardoned. We can go home now. My problem isn’t club related and never was. There was no need to claim me. Stop forcing me into your world. I don’t belong there as much as you don’t belong in mine.”
~Rex~
The words aren’t coming out right. My phone keeps going off in my pocket, distracting me. I know I am in deep shit, and I don’t care. I need Lux to know. I need her to know my life, my world, and what I brought
her into.
Before I can try to explain further, she pulls away from me and stomps off. Her heel catches in the grass, and I watch as her ankle twists. I jump off the table and rush to her, reaching out and catching her just before she falls.
“Dammit, Lux. You’re in my world. That’s what I’m trying to spit out. I claimed you as my ol’ lady. That means you belong to the Hellions. I have shit in my life, shit I can’t walk away from, so I can’t always be here. I need to know you are safe more than I need my next fuckin’ breath. This gives me that.”
Her hand flies up, and the smack sounds loudly in the quiet park as the pain rips through my cheek.
“You don’t get to make decisions for me, asshole. We fucked, Rex. Get over it. I was born to a whore, and I became a whore years ago, so you don’t get to own me now. You wanna talk regrets? I got them by the mile. You wanna atone for your past sins against Tessie by being a savoir for someone else? Great! Go find a broad who wants a knight in shining armor. Me, I got this. No fuckin’ worries.” She is screaming at me, and I am trying to take in everything she is saying.
“You feel better now? Get it all out, Lux?”
“You wanna save someone not worth saving, Rex.” Her words are like daggers thrown to hit me square in my gut.
“Don’t you get it?” I roar in frustration. “This isn’t about fuckin’ Tessie. Fate, she’s a twisted bitch. I wasn’t worthy of a woman like Tessie. Shooter was made for her. He’s her knight or whatever make-believe bullshit you girls believe in. I’m not fuckin’ worthy of you either, but I’m damn sure gonna make sure I don’t fail two women I care about.”
I slow down and watch her take in what I am trying to tell her. “Yeah, I care about you. No worries about me, baby. I know I don’t belong in your world. See, Karma, she’s a killer. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll also let you walk away when it’s all said and done to go find the fucker in the suit to make all your dreams a reality. I know my place, Lux. I just need you to know yours for a little while until me and the boys can sort out what happened to Chad. When the time comes, I know you’re walkin’ away.”
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