I attack his mouth as tongue and teeth collide in a storm of desire and, in some ways, desperation. I am desperate to feel him inside me.
Rex has been honest with me. He doesn’t know what the future holds. He doesn’t know how to do relationships. Neither do I. He does feel something different for me, and right now, that is enough for me to let go.
His words sound off in my head, “What is it to be you?”
What do I want it to be?
I tangle my hands into his hair as he groans when my shirt covered breasts rub against his shirt covered chest. I can’t get close enough to him. With too many clothes in the way, I pull away to desperately yank my shirt off and his. He moves his arms only to help me remove his cut and shirt. Once it’s over his head, his arms stretch and his hands immediately go back gripping the back of my couch.
I am panting in lust. Desire fills me, and all the thoughts of the day are mixing with it, begging to get lost in Rex. Feeling confined, I take my bra off and expose myself to him.
What do I want me to be?
In this moment, I want to be free.
I think of the feel of Rex’s bike—the freedom in the wind around us and the open road in front of us. Then I squeeze my thighs against his as I kiss him again.
I want to be me. I want the freedom to be myself, not some fancied-up illusion of perfection.
I hear him in my head again, “You want it, you got it, but sweetheart, you gotta take it.”
That happens to fit my life right now, as well. If I want to change, if I want to find myself, I can do it, but I have to take charge.
I pull back and climb off him. I slide out of my pants and panties in probably the most ungraceful way, but my mind is racing, and my body is on fire with a need that is begging to be filled. I need to feel. I want to feel. And I want to do it freely without the restraints of who my mother really is or who I once was. I want to simply be in the moment with Drexel Crews.
Naked, I lean over him, my breasts heavy and hanging over his thighs. I tempt him. I test him. Touch me, I am silently begging.
Yet, he sits unmoving, watching me, while his hands grip tightly to the back of my couch. Then his tongue comes out, and he moves the barbell of his tongue ring up and down, teasing me and pushing me on. He clicks the metal against his teeth in impatience as I unbutton his jeans.
Desire runs through me as he continues to allow me to undress him. Unzipping him, I find Rex is yet again not wearing underwear. I slide his jeans off and remove his socks so he is finally just as naked as I am. His penis is hard and pointing out at me, the ring at the tip shining like a new toy. I slide my tongue over the accessory and watch out of the corner of my eye as Rex grips my couch almost painfully in his attempt to not touch me. The power he is releasing to me only emboldens me further.
I wrap my hand around his impressive girth. Unable to touch my thumb to my fingers, I gently, slowly, and deliberately stroke. Swirling my tongue around the head, I then flick his piercing, making his cock twitch in my hand.
Then I run my body over his penis as I slide my way up him. At my breasts, I trace around each nipple with his piercing before sliding it down my stomach. Using my hand, I guide him through the folds of my pussy, allowing his piercing to graze my clit. While my body reacts as liquid trickles out of me, I rock my hips, letting the head dip inside me slightly.
“Condom, Lux. Wallet,” Rex chokes out.
I only smile at him and continue to tease my heat with his more than ready to go cock until I slowly move off him and get the condom from his wallet in his pants. I rip the foil packet before Rex takes the protection from me and sheaths himself. He is careful around his piercing before moving his hands to rest on the back of the couch yet again.
“Take it, Lux. Take all of me. I’m yours.”
I need no further encouragement as I climb on him and guide him slowly into me. When he fills me to the hilt, I lean in and kiss him slowly, deliberately, and almost delicately. I have never taken charge like this before.
Needing to feel connected, I remain still as I let my pussy adjust to his size. I memorize this moment.
For the first time in my life, something feels right. I don’t feel the weight of the past. I don’t feel the worry of making myself successful. In this moment, I feel complete. Rex isn’t touching me, but I feel sexy. I feel cherished. For the first time in a very long time, I feel in control of everything. I could take on the world right now. Instead, I take on Rex’s cock.
When I pull back from kissing him, there is lust and challenge in his eyes while I slide slowly up his shaft.
“You are so beautiful, Lux.”
Moving my hands to his shoulders, I steady myself as Rex meets my gaze.
“Ride me, Lux. Take what you need. Touch yourself for me. Reach down and rub your clit, Lux.”
Insecurity washes over me. Even with that, I still find myself doing as he instructs. Timidly, I run my finger through my pussy lips to where we are joined together. Slowly, I ride Rex as my finger teases my clit, making my body feel like a bundle of fireworks ready to shoot off in the night sky.
Rex drops his head and licks my nipple, his tongue ring adding to the sensation. Involuntarily, I increase my pace on both my hips and my finger as he sucks my nipple. Closing my eyes, a wave of pleasure washes over me as I feel the build-up.
I feel his hand come around and grip my ass before he runs his finger up my crack while I continue to rub circles on my clit as I rise and fall onto his shaft. Then he sucks my nipple and bites me gently as his fingertip enters my tight hole. Without time to consider what he is doing, I go over the edge as my climax makes me cry out incoherently.
My pace slows as the aftershocks milk his cock. His hands are massaging my ass now, and he is nuzzling my neck as I come down.
“Ready, Lux?” he asks.
I look at him, unsure what he is preparing me for. Goose bumps cover me in anticipation as I feel his cock swell more inside me.
“I’m gonna do the work. You with me for another ride?”
Suddenly, his hands are on my hips, lifting me up. His hips thrust up as he brings me down. The invasion is rough, sending my pussy clinching around him as my body trembles silently, begging for more.
His piercing strokes my walls as he continues to slam into me. My body is building for another climax so quickly I can only grab onto his shoulders and hold on.
Thrust. Pant. Thrust. Thrust. Grunt. Pant. The pace is furious.
My mind blanks out just as Rex grips me then pulls me down onto him, rolling his hips upward, sending me over the edge and truly seeing stars. His cock throbs inside me as he finds his own release, and then I lay limply over him.
Twice today, Drexel Crews has taken me on the ride of my life. Once on his bike and now on his cock. Everything is changing around me, and yet, he remains the same.
~Rex~
There is a saying, ‘The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.’
How many years have I been doing the same thing over and over? I don’t know that I have been expecting different results, but I think I have been waiting for something inside of me to change.
Everything with Lux is different. I have never wanted a woman to consume me the way I want her to. I have never wanted anyone to have power over me or have any control whatsoever. Yet, here I sit, naked on her couch, my cock resting inside her pussy, and she is in complete control of my destiny.
If she wants me to walk away, I am man enough to do it. Damn, if she wants me to stay … am I man enough to trust in having something real in my life?
Lux isn’t a barfly looking to tag a biker. She isn’t a whore looking for her next orgasm. She isn’t a woman looking for a man to take care of her. She doesn’t care about being tied to a biker. She can get off on her own—the shower escapade proves that. She certainly doesn’t need or want a man to take care of her. She is everything that doesn’t exist in my world.
Change is good.
She challenges me. From the day I met her at the barbeque, she has challenged me to look at everything differently. She doesn’t belong in my world, yet she somehow fits.
I run my calloused hands up and down the soft skin of her back as she lies quietly against me, sated and relaxed, our breathing settling into a matching rhythm. The eyes I saw in the window have been gone for a while now. I hope the fucker watched. I hope he watched her come apart over me. I couldn’t see him clearly enough to know who it was, but I will get him. He will pay for the pain he has caused her. Restraint isn’t my strong suit. Holding back from touching her so that her creepy stalker could watch her take what she wanted took everything inside of me. In the long run it will pay off and I will have my day with him.
She lifts her head to pull away and look at me.
“Gonna try to dismiss me again?” I ask, half serious and half joking. If she pushes me away and sends me out, I am only going so far as the parking lot, so I hope she makes the decision to let me stay.
“Rex, ummm…”
“What, Lux? What do you want?”
“Will you stay with me tonight? I’m not sure what we’re doing, but it works, and I want you to stay.”
I smile at her. “Anything you want, you got, sweetheart.”
Thank fuck, too, because sleeping on the concrete outside her door does not appeal to me. Someone is outside watching her; I can’t leave. I hope the sick fucker just watched her ride me. I hope he watched my cock fill her so full that, no matter what game he is playing, he can see there is no room left for him. She is mine, all mine. Fucker better learn, too.
I protect what is mine at all costs.
~~~~
A week goes by, and I am still going to sleep and waking up with a naked Lux in my arms. I can feel the watchful eyes of someone on us every time we leave her place, though.
Roundman has Danza and Frisco here from the coast to help us sort out what happened to Chad and what it has to do with Lux. Tank and Sass headed back to the coast. They won’t return until after their baby is born. Tripp is more on edge to get things sorted now that he, too, will be a dad.
Being a dad, what a strange feeling. I am a father.
Tessie and I have come to an agreement of sorts. Where Tripp and Tank have months to prepare to meet their child, I was blindsided when I met mine.
The more time that passes, the more I realize why Tessie made the choices she did. She has made sure he knows he has a dad. Granted, he thinks I have been out of town forever, but he has gotten presents ‘from Dad,’ which is more than a lot of women would do for a man like me.
The shock has worn off. The anger and resentment are gone. Anxiousness fills me now. I want to meet him. I want to be there for him. I want to watch him grow.
Shooter says he acts like me, and I laugh thinking about it. Poor Tessie, trying to raise a mini-me.
I am in Lux’s kitchen when she comes out wearing jeans and a fitted black T-shirt. With her looking sexy as fuck, my dick hardens in my jeans. Tame it. Time to be responsible. I can’t be late to dinner with Axel.
“You ready for this?” she asks as she gets a water from the fridge.
“Yeah, I am actually.”
“Not just today, Rex, but all of this? Are you gonna stand by him, or are you gonna be there for the fun stuff and ditch out when it gets hard? Parenting is hard. It’s more than a sprint; it’s a marathon.”
“Always keeping it real with me.”
“You wouldn’t have it any other way.”
I move over to her and drop a quick kiss on her forehead. “Time to meet my son who I will be there for, day in and day out. The good, the bad, the ugly, he gets me all of me. If not, I’m sure you’ll have my balls for fuckin’ up.”
“That would imply that you want me around, Rex,” she challenges.
“Thought you woulda figured that out by now.” I wink at her as we make our way out of her apartment and to my bike.
Time to meet my son.
The parking lot of the pizza place is filled with minivans and sport utility vehicles galore. Everything that screams family is evident as Lux and I park my bike. I take off my helmet and rest it on my gas tank as Lux climbs off from behind me. A van pulls in beside us with those stick figure stickers of their happy family of dad, mom, three kids, a dog, and a fish. Yes, soccer mom beside me is telling the world she has a pet fish.
My palms are sweaty, my knees are weak, and all because of some stupid stickers on a van. I am the one who would rock the sticker ‘my kid beat up your honor roll student.’ Oh, shit, Axel really isn’t like that, is he? Please let him be the honor student.
Damn, I have this all fucked-up already. Panic fills me as I think of having a child in school. Homework, report cards, parent–teacher conferences, and conduct reports … conduct reports, oh, hell. I freeze.
Lux reaches over and squeezes my shoulder then leans in and whispers in my ear. “He’s a good kid. Tessie has taken care of him. He’s gonna love you. He gets the best of both worlds. Tessie and Shooter are solid and calm. You get to teach your son to be wild and free. Just remember, don’t give him a bunch of sugar and caffeine before you send him home, and Tessie won’t want to rip your balls off at bedtime.”
“Fuck, I don’t want him to be wild and free. He should be like the smart kid. Do better and shit. I’m gonna fuck it all up. We should go.” I start to lift the helmet when a small hand with perfectly manicured nails lands on top of it.
“You aren’t the man you once were. Put the helmet down so we can get inside, get some bad pizza, and play some games.” She leans over and kisses my cheek. “If you win the most tokens today, I’ll make sure to give you a prize later,” she adds with a wink.
We go inside, order, buying the biggest package of tokens they offer, and take a seat. We aren’t waiting long when Shooter, Tessie, and Axel come in. Once they make their way to our table, I stand to hug Tessie. Long gone are the feelings of lust I once had for her. Now she is the amazing, beautiful mother of my child and woman to my brother.
“Hey, Tessie, thank you for this,” I whisper as I pull away.
“I didn’t do it just for you, Rex. Axel needs his father,” she states, backing away as I move to greet Shooter.
I then meet the eyes of my son, the same eyes I see in my own reflection daily. I immediately squat to his level.
“Hey, Axel, I’m Rex. You ever been here before? It’s my first time.”
With that, the ice is broken, and our time begins.
It is the first time I have experienced being a dad, and this shit feels good. It is the first time in my life I am having a woman as more than a quick fuck. This is the first time in my life people outside of my club have mattered more than it. This is the first time I have truly felt alive.
All from the companionship of a good woman and having my son breathe life into me.
Chapter Fifteen
My Chance
~Caroline~
Rex is not at all who I thought he was. There is a part of him that has regular insecurities. The man who is possibly the most confident and arrogant person I have ever met is also the one who worries about his son.
The moments Rex decides to share his vulnerabilities with me make me weak. I don’t know what the future holds, but he will certainly be a part of me whether he stays with me or not.
My life has never really been my own. I have always been running from who my mother is. I have never been in a relationship, afraid to fall into a trap made by a man. What’s more, I can’t help questioning myself, wondering if the Hellions hadn’t bought out my contract with Higgins, where would I be?
We all play that game with ourselves at some point or another, I suppose. The wicked game in our minds of what if we had made a different choice. The twisted fate of if only the cards had fallen differently. Bottom line, it is my chance to let go of everything I thought I knew and just find me, accept me, and love me.
Having Rex here in my space isn’t as awkward as I
thought it would be. He distracts me from the eerie feeling of being followed and watched. He assures me I am safe.
At this point, what I feel may be the man he has on me, not the creeper we can’t find. All I know is, from the minute I leave my apartment, I feel eyes on me until I am safely behind the doors of my office building.
Rex told me to stop looking around, because it feeds the adrenaline of my stalker to know I could spot him. It feeds his ego to know I am looking for him. To take the power away from the sicko, I am supposed to go about my life as if I don’t have eyes on me. I am supposed to go on like I would any other day before this happened. Shaking off the fear, I ready for my day.
In my kitchen, Rex leans against the counter in his jeans and T-shirt, drinking a cup of coffee. I smile as he hands me a mug already filled with my favorite flavored java.
“Lux, really the regular stuff ain’t so bad. If you drank regular coffee, it would save me from wanting to throw that fancy one cup, fill the special water, put in the individual cup, and push the right button on the contraption you call a coffee maker out the front door. Hot water in the back, grounds in the filter in the front, slide in the basket, push the button, and you get ten cups of caffeine. This one cup thing on a spinner flavored nonsense would drive a crazy person sane. I just want coffee before I have to use my brain, not think through all these steps before the coffee comes.”
I laugh at him, watching him learn to use my coffee maker has been thoroughly entertaining.
He pulls me into him, holding me close for a moment. After a quick kiss on my forehead, he releases me and pushes himself off the counter.
“Ready?”
“You betcha.”
I step into my red stilettos that Kenna has serious shoe envy over and grab my purse as Rex tosses on his leather vest that I have learned is a cut. Then he locks my door as I make my way to my car. Immediately, I feel eyes on me.
I scan the parking lot without making it noticeable that I am looking. There sits the blue sedan only three spots from my car, but the tinted windows are too dark for me to see who is behind the wheel.
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