John Boy and Dukes handled the breaking and entering effortlessly, and we were able to confirm Higgins is working alone. Between the pictures he printed and the computer files scoured, Chad’s inquisition was more a pay-off. Once he was able to tie Lux to Higgins as his previous dog walker, he reached out on the basis of needing an employment reference. This all brought Lux and her current life to the forefront of Higgins’s mind. Finding her living alone and working in a corporate job, no longer tied to the Hellions, he thought it would be safe to move in.
Wrong.
It has taken us two days of following and another day of securing, but now I have the bastard in the simple basement of the small ranch house in the middle of Sumter County, South Carolina. The ten acres on which it is centered keeps outsiders away. The Sumter Charter of the Hellions MC have been more than accommodating for me and my guest.
Since he managed to stay at a five star elite hotel with cameras and security, getting him out was an issue. A bellhop uniform, a janitor uniform, a syringe, and a laundry cart all aided in our ability to go in and out unnoticed.
We came in, he fought a little before the prick of the needle—the injection of Propofol—and quickly he was asleep, dumped in the laundry cart, and removed from the hotel and into our waiting van. We have his room still booked and still paying.
He is now bound to a wooden chair in the middle of an unfinished basement as the drugs begin to wear off. His ankles are zip-tied to the legs. His arms are secured in the same fashion by his wrists and elbows. Twist and turn as he may, he won’t be getting up from this chair.
He slowly blinks, trying to sort out what happened to him.
“Well, look who has decided to join the land of the living for a little while,” I greet him as he attempts to focus on me.
He shakes his head and pulls at his restraints while I look at my sharpened bowie knife. Then his eyes grow wide in fear as he watches me.
“Caroline Milton,” I say her name, and he narrows his gaze at me.
His overpriced suit pants are a wrinkled mess, and his fancy button-up shirt is pulling tightly against his chest as his breath quickens.
Going over, I slide my knife in between his shirt, sliding it down to pop all the buttons open. “You have a twisted history with her.”
“I thought … I thought … I thought she wasn’t tied to the club anymore,” he stutters at me.
“You had an agreement with the Hellions, an agreement you broke.”
I laugh as his pants darken at the crotch, and his pee runs off the chair. I stand behind him, pulling his head back against my stomach. Then I hold him firmly as I run my knife around his neck, applying just enough pressure to avoid breaking his skin.
“You collared her.” I trace around his neck yet again, this time piercing the skin just enough to draw a steady stream of blood. “Erectile dysfunction. You have trouble getting hard.” I run the flat part of my knife over his exposed chest. “Does that feel hard to you?”
While he weeps like a baby, as he pulls helplessly against the zip-ties holding him to the chair, I cut his shirt off him, quickly and ruthlessly.
Starting at his fingertips, I run my blade up his arm.
“You tied her to a cross.” I pierce the skin and watch the blood seep out.
“Collared.” I run the blade around his neck again, drawing another line of blood from him, deeper this time. Slowly, he will bleed out.
“Immobile.” I run my blade down his other arm.
“I didn’t know she … she didn’t want it.” His words are garbled in pain as he tries to swallow.
“Bullshit. You knew, but you have this sick, twisted way of thinking, don’t you? If you can’t get off, you’ll force her to get off. Shows what a man you still are, right?”
He sobs and tugs. Still, the ties hold him firmly in place.
“Masochist. You got off in your own way—on her humiliation, her lack of control.”
He doesn’t respond. He is numb in either pain or fear, although which one, I am not certain.
“How does it feel, Higgins?” I tap the wet crotch of his pants with my knife. “The inability to control what one does to your body, how does it feel? You want a hard cock? I could feed you mine right now.” I grab my jeans in reference.
“Nah, I’ll save that for Lux. She happily and greedily sucks me off. She gets herself off riding me.” Using my knife, I tip his head to look at me. “Ahhh … but you know that already, don’t you? I saw you watch us from the window in the living room. Did you enjoy the show? What was that like to see me not move one hand to help her as she climbed on my cock and rode me until she got what she wanted?
“Wanted,” I repeat, watching his eyes dance in the memories. “Wanted, say it with me.”
He tries to turn his head from me, so I stab my knife down into the top of his thigh.
“Wanted. Say it with me.”
“Wanted!” he cries out the word as I pull my knife from his leg.
Slowly, meticulously, I run my knife over his legs and at his crotch, and he trembles. “Funny how the human body works. Unless a man suffers from erectile dysfunction, such as yourself, even the ugliest of broads can work a penis until it is hard. The blood rushes to the member as each stroke passes. The skin tingles, the senses heighten, the balls tighten, and boom, you blow your load. Doesn’t matter if she’s hot or not. Females are the same way. Rub those pussy lips, flick her clit to bring the blood to the skin’s surface. The skin tingles, the senses heighten, the nub tightens, and boom!” I yell as I stab my knife straight down into his cock, all the way through to his balls.
He cries out before he vomits all over himself and me.
“The thing is, you sick fucker, it may take a little longer and be a little harder, but a woman can be forced to have an orgasm, too.”
I do not remove my knife as he hunches over in the chair, sobbing as he bleeds out, his blood mixing with his urine and vomit on the floor.
I want to gag at the smell. I want to gag at the man. I want to gag at the things Lux endured at his hands.
I look at my hands before I reach out and lift his head, forcing him to look at me. His eyes roll back in his head before coming to focus back on me.
“You couldn’t use your cock, but you used your hands to force her body to react. Today, with my hands, I end you. When I leave here, I go home, and I use these same hands to bring her pleasure after pleasure until you are no longer even a bad memory.”
He tries to shake his head out of my grasp.
“I get your appeal. She’s beautiful. She’s intelligent. She’s the total fuckin’ package. Thing is, Higgins, she was never yours. You owned her by a contract. She owns me by my balls because she has my heart.”
His head lolls as he loses more blood.
“Funny how the human body works, yes. Even funnier is how the human heart bleeds. Your heart physically bleeds out on this concrete floor for a little while until the reaper comes and steals your soul. My woman has bled out invisibly for years while the guilt and shame held her captive as these ties do today. My heart beats for her, my heart bleeds for her. You hold no power over her mind, her body, or her soul anymore. I’ll see you in Hell, fucker.”
I twist the knife in his crotch before I walk up the stairs and into the main part of the house. Going to the small bathroom, I shower, washing away the vomit and blood of Alvin Higgins. I wash the disgust of a worthless man down the drain. I wash my past failures off as I have insured he will not harm Lux again. I wash the shame of my shortcomings and the shame of her past down the simple two inch hole. When I leave here, life begins for us both.
No longer burdened by our pasts, we can begin again.
New love. New life. New ride.
Chapter Nineteen
Simply Us
Four Months Later
~Caroline~
Don’t ask questions you are not prepared for the answers to—Tessie’s biggest piece of advice when dealing with Rex. Of all the th
ings she could tell me, she gives me that.
Four months ago, when Rex came to pick me up from Shooter’s, that is what Tessie said to me. “Don’t ask questions you’re not prepared for the answers to. Sometimes, it’s best we don’t know.”
Rex climbed off his bike, and I was at his side before he could hang his helmet on the handlebars. I watched him as he watched me. In that moment, our world stopped around us, and it was only the two of us.
“You gonna stand there and stare all night, or are you gonna come over here and kiss me?” he asked, arrogant as usual.
“Thought you’d be home sooner. Maybe I wanna make you wait a little longer,” I teased back.
“Been a long ride, Lux. One that brought me right back here to you.”
“Funny, you’ve said that to me before.” I stepped closer to him.
He reached out and pulled me into him as his lips crashed down on mine. Wrapping my hands around his neck, I held onto him as we got lost in each other.
“Not you, too!” Axel cried out from behind us. “First my mom and Shooter always kissin’ when they think no one is looking, and now I gotta deal with my dad and Lux.”
“Caroline,” Tessie corrected. “Her name is Caroline.”
“Hey, Dad says she is the deluxe model woman. You are, too, Momma, don’t worry. You’re like the Cadillac of cars, so we can call you Caddy if it makes ya feel better.”
I pulled away from Rex to burst out laughing as Axel approached. Rex yanked me into him again, placing a quick kiss on my forehead.
“I’m always comin’ back to you, Lux. Always.”
With that, I stepped aside so Rex could scoop Axel up in a giant hug. He set him down, and I laughed as the energy radiated off the little boy to have his dad home.
“We gotta fix Lux. You can’t leave her here like this again. She broke the code, Dad.” Axel quickly threw me under the bus. “She helped Momma make oatmeal.”
“Sweets for breakfast is part of the guy code, Axel. Of course Lux has to make oatmeal. That’s what all the girls do. It’s training for motherhood and shit.”
“Shhhh … Man, you’re gonna get caught cussin’ around these broads. Momma’s threatening soap now. She got Lux over to the breakfast dark side”—Axel shakes his head dramatically—“so it’s only a matter of time before she fusses about the yucky words.”
We went inside to gather my things. I left Shooter and Tessie’s house that night, unsure of what my future would hold, and Rex took me to his place. He never asked me where I wanted to go, but truth be told, it didn’t matter where I went as long as I was with him.
I have been living with Rex for four months now. Higgins’s business closed, his house sold, and no one has seen or heard from him.
Don’t ask questions you’re not prepared for the answer to.
I don’t want to know what happened to him. I don’t need to know. I don’t have to look over my shoulder anymore. I don’t have to worry about him following me. The fear is gone.
The governor tried to get my mom to come to Aruba and live there as his housekeeper. She declined, and neither of us have heard from him since. DNA does not spell D-A-D. Sperm doesn’t make a man a father. Besides, I am doing just fine without him.
My past is my past. A glass house is covered in smudges if you look close enough. Tiny, almost invisible scratches mar the surface. No matter how you clean it and pretty it up, there will always be scratches right under the surface. However, my life is good now. For the first time, I am comfortable with who I am.
The invitation in my hand has me laughing.
“What’s so funny, Lux? Did someone send you a cock picture? It’s laughable in comparison to the D-Rex in my pants, isn’t it? Hey, we can’t all have a beast for a cock. No need to laugh.”
“No, Rex, no one sent me penis pictures.”
“Well, I can give you a live viewing of mine right now.” He winks at me.
“I’m sure you can, but I’m laughing because this is an invitation to a company dinner party for a client. I was thinking about how uncomfortable you were in the suit.” I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist. “Getting you out of it was fun.”
“Sweetheart, I’ll do anything for you as long as I don’t ever have to wear a suit again.”
“You aren’t gonna wear a suit when you marry me?” The words fly out of my mouth before I can fathom what I am saying.
Rex stiffens before pulling away to look down at me. “Lux, are you sayin’ you’ll marry me?”
Well, I am this far in, so why hold back now?
I bite on my top lip, holding it in for a moment. “Depends … Are you asking?”
~Rex~
Call me a pussy-whipped, pansy ass, motherfucker. I somehow got roped into getting engaged. How does the saying go? The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Well, I have long been on the path to Hell, and it has been filled with many good intentions.
Innocent intentions have given me everything I never thought I wanted. Sure, I wanted to fuck Lux the moment I laid eyes on her. Except, my plan was to keep her safe originally, not marry her.
When Doll told me to be a safety net, to give Lux a safe place to sort her shit, I did it without hesitation. I agreed to help her with this Chad guy, not to win her heart. No, nothing chivalrous or honorary. It was simple. Shake Chad up a bit so he would back off. It was innocent. Be her friend, give her security. It was pure. She has always been real with me, even when I didn’t want to hear it. What formed as a friendship has become my lifeline.
Pops always told us, “It’s not the woman you want to be within the moment with who is the one for you. No, boys, the woman you want to be with is the one you can’t be without. Wants, desires, needs, and dreams change over time. What you want today may not be what you want five years from now.
“The person who impacts your world in a way that won’t ever let go, that’s the woman for you—the woman who has such a hold you can’t imagine being without her. Finding someone to get by with, to settle with, is easy. Finding the one you can’t let go of, finding the one who challenges you to be a better man, that’s the one you make your wife.”
Looking into the eyes of the woman I can’t be without, I run my fingers over her jaw as I cup her face. “You want it, sweetheart, you got it.”
“Rex—” she whispers
I cut her off. “If you want me in a suit, consider it done. If you want me in a church, I’ll pray it doesn’t burn down before we finish. If you want me at the courthouse, I’ll be there. If you want my last name, it’s yours. If you want to be by my side to raise my son and give me more babies, I’ll give you a damn football team. Whatever you want, however you want it, you got it. We were supposed to be friends, innocent enough. Now, I stand here as a man who will give anything in this world to call you not my friend, not my lover—no, Lux. I’ll give anything to call you my wife.”
Tears fill her eyes while she tries to speak again; only, I shake my head at her.
“The ride isn’t easy. The ride isn’t smooth. The ride is about freedom, and I found my freedom in you. I love you, Caroline. If you want it, you gotta take it … so I ask, Lux, you takin’ my last name or what?”
While she giggles and nods her head, my heart swells as my lips find their way to hers. This is what love is. It is not the cars you drive or the house you provide. Love is two souls standing against all odds to support each other. I needed her as much as she needed me, maybe more.
This is our ride, and nothing can stand in our way.
The Woman I Am
~Carolina~
The woman I am today is a far cry from the woman I once was. As the saying goes, people come into your life for a reason. Some are here merely for a moment, some for a season. However, the few—the precious—they stay for a lifetime.
Drexel ‘Rex’ Crews was everything I never wanted in my life. Yet, he was everything I needed. The Hellions MC was never anything I envisioned for myself, yet it is now someth
ing I couldn’t live without: the family, the acceptance, and the freedom to simply be.
We all come with different shapes, sizes, attitudes, dreams, histories, values, and judgments. Being a size zero doesn’t make what is inside me any different than if I were a size sixteen. Dressing the part of Fancy Nancy doesn’t change the status of my job or my bank account. Looking down upon anyone who doesn’t look a certain way or have a certain status doesn’t make them less of a person. No, it makes me less of a person. It is not who you present yourself to be that matters; it is who you see in your reflection every day when you look in the mirror.
Once upon a time, there was a girl born to the mistress of a governor. The little girl never understood why her mother would allow herself to be belittled to such a low status symbol of being the maid just to be with a man.
Funny thing what love does to you. The things you freely accept to be able to hold on to the one you love. I never understood my mother and the governor, because I had never been in love before. Until Drexel Crews, that is.
Today, if I had to be his maid to be with him, so be it. Luckily for me, though, my Prince Charming would never put me in the situation to be less than his ol’ lady. I will never be some secret tucked away behind the gates. No, my place is proudly behind my man as the wind whips around us and the pavement passes beneath us.
Once upon a time, there was a young lady tossed freely into the world of adulthood. She was given no tools for survival. Therefore, threatened by her past, she ran head first into her future. Unprepared for the cold realities of life, she made choices that scarred her soul.
Funny thing what love does to you. In pain, there is healing. In facing the mistakes of the past, you can freely accept the blessings of the future because you are no longer chained by the secrets you keep.
I allowed my mistakes to overshadow who I could become in the future. I allowed my past to destine me into a bad situation, not once, but twice. I would have continued being a victim of blackmail and manipulation, if not for Drexel Crews coming along.
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