“I know. I got your message on the answering machine at the store, but it wasn’t until right before Abby called me later.”
“And?”
“I need to tell you something. I didn’t want you to leave the other night, but I’m scared. You told me from the beginning you weren’t the settlin’ kind, and I took that to heart. I wanted to push you away before you left on your own, thinking it would hurt less that way. I can’t help how I feel. I’ll just have to deal with it if you do decide to leave and not come back, but I want whatever you are willing to give me.”
“I heard something when I was still out of it, so I don’t know for sure if it’s true or not.”
“What’s that?”
“Did you kiss me and tell me you loved me?” She looked away. He took her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him. “Tell me.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Say it again.”
“I love you.”
He sighed. “Good.”
“Good?”
“Yeah. If I have to give up my wandering ways, I want to make sure the girl I’m willing to give them up for loves me, too.”
“What are you saying?”
“I love you, Carrie. I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.”
She laughed as tears rolled down her cheeks. “While I stood there yelling at you for getting Jess pregnant? In fact, I think I called you a bastard.”
"And a son of a bitch."
"Yeah, that, too."
He smiled and shrugged. “Not like I haven’t been called that before.” He brushed her tears away “You have no idea how beautiful you were, all protective and ready to take on the world to look after her.” He brushed his fingers across her face. “I was a goner as soon as you stuck your claws in me.”
“I don’t have claws.”
“Oh, yes, you do. You were like a lioness defending her young.” He pulled her closer. “Now—come here. I need to feel your lips against mine.”
She stood up and reached over the railing. “I love you,” she whispered, before her lips moved over his. It was the best feeling in the world.
Someone cleared his throat behind them, and she pulled away with a smile.
“I need to check you over, Cole.” Dr. Collier walked to his bedside and smiled.
“I’ll be back after a while,” she whispered.
“I’ll count on it. I love you, Carrie.”
“I love you, too.”
She grabbed her purse and walked toward the door. With a short, backward glance, she headed for the lobby and his family.
Chapter Fifteen
“What are you saying, Dr. Collier?”
“You may never walk again, Cole.”
“That can’t be right!”
“You can’t feel your legs. Your back is fractured and pressing on your spinal column. I can’t tell right now if there is permanent damage or not. There is too much swelling to tell.”
He raked his fingers through his hair. Looking down at the two bumps beneath the blankets, he concentrated on moving them, but nothing happened.
“Don’t worry too much about it right now. Until the swelling goes down, I can’t do even do any more tests. It may only be temporary.”
He put his head back against the pillow behind him and closed his eyes. Not walk again? “Have you said anything to my family?”
“No, I’m headed down to find them now.”
“All right.”
“Take it easy, Cole. We don’t know the extent of the damage yet, so don’t do anything rash like try to get up on your own.”
He snorted, but didn’t open his eyes when he heard the doctor leave.
Now what the hell am I going to do?
Millions of thoughts raced across his mind. He may never be able to ride again, never be able to do much of anything again, including making love to Carrie.
I feel worthless. How can I ask Carrie to spend the rest of her life with me if I can’t take care of her?
* * * *
Carrie found the family sitting about where they had been before and she told them the doctor came in to examine Cole. They all agreed to get something to eat to pass the time until they could see him again.
Once they all ordered food in the cafeteria, small talk centered around the horses Chase and Abby were training, the coming baby, and how excited Chase’s parents were to become grandparents again.
Several minutes later, Dr. Collier approached their table.
“Bonnie—Charles. Can I talk to you for a moment?”
“Certainly, but whatever you need to say can be said in front of my children. Is this to do with me or with Cole?”
“It’s about Cole.”
Carrie’s heart dropped to her stomach. Something's wrong.
The doctor took a chair next to Bonnie and pulled her hand into his.
“Bonnie, there’s a problem.”
“What, Dr. Collier? Just tell us, all right? We will handle it as a family, like we always have.”
He patted her hand before his gaze swept the group and landed on Carrie.
“The accident was pretty hard on him. You know he had a collapsed lung.”
“Yes.”
“That part is okay now. The chest tube is helping, and we’ll probably be able to remove it in a day or so.”
“Get to the point.”
He sighed. “Cole had an injury to his back. He has a fracture to his spinal column, which basically means he broke his back.”
“And?”
“He can’t feel his legs.”
“He’s paralyzed?” Bonnie’s gasp was echoed throughout the group.
“Yes.”
“Oh, my God,” Carrie whispered before her hand covered her mouth.
“I don’t know at this point if it’s permanent or temporary. I’ll have to do some more tests, but for now, he won’t be able to walk. Obviously, this means his rodeo days are over. Even if the condition is only temporary, he’ll need extensive rehabilitation.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. He can’t walk, may never walk again.
She stood up and moved to the window. The snow continued to fall in swirling white crystals, laying a heavy blanket over the streets, buildings, and cars. Christmas was just around the corner, and it was the first one without Jess.
“You okay?” Abby put her arm around Carrie’s shoulder.
Her lips quivered and she tried to hold back the sob lingering in her throat. “Not really. God, Abby. What if he never walks again?" Carrie shook her head in denial. “I don’t understand how this could happen. He’s so strong and is always there for everyone else.”
“I know. It’s not going to be easy on anyone.”
“I need to talk to him, let him know it doesn’t matter if he can’t walk. I still love him no matter what.”
“That would probably be a good thing. If I know Cole at all, he’s going to be feeling sorry for himself. Not being able to ride is one thing, but never being able to walk again? That could do some real damage to his male pride.”
“Thanks, Abby.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll keep the family down here for a bit.”
Carrie hugged Abby before she moved toward the elevator to see the man she loved.
* * * *
“Cole?” Carrie’s soft whisper reached his ears right before she touched his hand.
Opening his eyes, he saw her sit down next to him, and she tried to smile. The worry lines around her mouth and between her eyes made her look older than her twenty-six years. He knew with all the crap she had put up with over the last two years, his injuries just added to it.
“Hey. How do you feel?”
“Like shit.”
She shook her head, and her fingers caressed his hand.
“Did the doctor talk to y’all?”
“Yeah.”
Tears formed at the corners of his eyes and slipped down his cheek as a sob broke from his lips. She stood up and sat
on the side of the bed with him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered, holding him tight.
“I can’t move my legs, Carrie.” He held on. She was his lifeline, his tether in the tornado that his life had become, as the world came crashing down around him.
“I know. It doesn’t matter. I love you—all of you.” His nose buried in her hair, he inhaled her sweet scent, letting it wrap around his senses and carry him back to when they made love. Just the scent of her and her body next to his should have sent his cock into overdrive, and it terrified him to realize nothing was happening.
They sat that way for several minutes. Hearing sounds coming from the doorway, Carrie released him to move back to the chair. The rest of his family came into the room, and he wiped the tears remaining on his face.
His parents took over, just like they always had. They made plans for him to be moved to their house in town when the doctor released him. He watched as the group time-lined everything out, who would take care of him, how they would hire someone to do extensive rehabilitation and so on. His mind spun from the information and how his family seemed to almost dismiss him from the conversation. He decided to take over. With a shrill whistle he released from between his lips, the room grew silent.
“This is my life and my problem. I will figure out what needs to be done.” His gaze caught his mother’s startled expression. “I love you, Mom, but I’m a big boy now, and I’ll make my own arrangements. Nothing has to be settled right this minute, anyway, since I’ll be here for several more days from what it sounds like.”
“But, Cole…” His mother started to argue, and he raised his hand to silence her protest.
“I’ll handle this.” His gaze swept the room before landing on his eldest brother, and he frowned when he saw where the other man’s eyes settled. “You could probably go ahead and go back to Nevada, Justin, unless Mom needs you here.” His brother's brown eyes swung back to his with a shocked expression. “I know you have cattle to take care of.”
“That sounds an awful lot like a brush off, little brother.”
“No.” He drew out the word on several syllables. “I’m thinking of your ranch, that’s all.”
“Since when are you worried about my place?” Justin stepped closer to the bed and stopped directly behind Carrie.
Cole didn’t answer at first. He didn’t trust his mouth to say something he would regret later like “Go the hell home, Justin, and leave Carrie alone.” Finally, he couldn’t stay quiet. “Since you’ve decided to pay an awful lot of attention to my girl.”
Silence filled the room except a small gasp that escaped Carrie’s mouth.
Cole couldn’t miss the challenge in his brother’s eyes.
He’s set his sights on Carrie, and there isn’t a damned thing I can do about it.
“Your girl? I don’t see a ring on her finger, Cole.”
Cole narrowed his eyes to mere slits and growled, “Keep your distance, brother.”
Carrie stood and almost shouted, “That’s about enough out of both of you. I’m not a piece of meat you two can fight over like two dogs. I’ll make up my own mind as to who I’m with—not either of you.”
“But, Carrie…”
“Don’t you but Carrie me, Cole. I think you would have learned over the period of time you’ve known me that I’m an independent female if nothing else. I will not allow any man to decide my life for me.”
“Yeah. I can’t deny that.” A soft chuckle left his lips. He had almost forgotten how beautiful she was when anger infused her face. The soft flush of color that rose on her cheeks had him shifting in the bed uncomfortably when he felt the stirrings of desire.
Maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem.
“Then you should know better. This high-handed behavior will get you nothing.” She turned to face Justin. “As for you, I don’t even know you, so don’t go getting any wild ideas.”
“Wouldn’t you like to?”
Cole could have spit nails when the soft timbre of his brother’s voice drawled the words. Carrie's face turned a deeper red, and his frown deepened when his gaze shifted from her to his brother.
Does she want to get to know Justin better? I thought she said she loved me. It would be just like a woman to say she loved one man and then change her mind a few moments later if offered something better. Besides, what can I offer her? I’m just a drifter—no income now since I can’t ride or work on trucks. Justin has the ranch in Nevada. He would be just the type of guy Carrie would be attracted to. She told me once she wasn’t interested in a temporary man in her life.
“I should get some rest. I’m kind of tired since they gave me something for pain not long before y’all came in.”
“Okay, son. We’ll leave you alone,” Bonnie replied, heading for the door while the rest of the family followed. Justin shot Cole a challenging look before sliding his glance to Carrie then disappearing.
“I need to get the baby, anyway. He’s been with Chase’s neighbor all morning. I’ll come back later this afternoon.” Carrie stepped closer, obviously intending to kiss him goodbye, but he turned his face so her lips brushed his cheek instead. A deep frown marred her face as she moved back.
“That’s not necessary, Carrie. I think they are going to do some more tests this afternoon, anyway.”
“If that’s what you want,” she whispered, pain reflected in her eyes.
“That’s what I want.” He knew he was being stubborn, and the hurt on her face almost made him change his mind.
It would be better to stop this whole thing now, rather than later. She would be better off with Justin, anyway. What good am I to her if I can’t walk?
“I love you.”
“I’ll see you later.”
She bit her lip before turning away and walking out his door.
He released a heavy sigh, tipping his head back against the bed.
Chapter Sixteen
“Are you okay, Carrie?” Abby stopped her in the hall not far from Cole’s room.
“I guess.” She shook her head. “I just don’t understand him.”
Abby laughed. “Get used to it. That’s the way it is with Wilder men, no matter which one you choose. They say women are impossible to understand…”
Carrie couldn’t help but smile as she hugged Abby. “I get the feeling we need to sit down and talk before I have to kill one of them, and I’ll give you one guess which one.”
Abby linked her arm with Carrie’s. “That we do. How about we bring the baby and go out tonight so we can talk without the men hearing?”
“I think I like that idea. I could probably use a beer. Is it too early to start drinking?”
“How about later? We can go shopping, though. I still need to get a few things for this little one.”
“More shopping? Good grief, woman, we won’t have any room in the house at this rate,” Chase teased when they approached.
“Oh, hush, daddy. I’m not buying any more clothes and what not, but we still need diapers.”
“Good. You’ve already got one closet full and working on another.”
Abby smiled and slid into his arms. Carrie’s heart clenched at the sight. She remembered those nights with Cole, and she wanted that again, for the rest of her life. He told her he loved her earlier, and then didn’t respond when she said it again before she left the room. She didn’t know what to think anymore.
“Don’t worry about him, Carrie. He’ll come around.” Chase’s advice mimicked his wife’s, but she wasn’t so sure. All of the sudden, Cole seemed to be pushing her away, and she wasn’t sure she had the energy to fight him anymore.
She shook her head. “I don’t know what his problem is now.”
“My guess would be he’s feeling not quite a man anymore.”
“What do you mean, Chase?”
“He can’t move his legs, Carrie. What was he doing before this? He rode rodeo—rodeo rough stock, work on big-ri
g trucks, and helped you at the store, from what I understand.”
“Yeah, but…”
“But nothing. He can’t do those things anymore and may not ever be able to again. And what about making love to you? What if he can’t? How would that make you feel?”
“Pretty helpless.”
“Exactly.”
“I don’t care about those things, though. I love him no matter whether he can walk or not.”
“I’m sure that’s true, but you have to convince him.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know if I can, Chase. What if he won’t let me?”
“Listen to Abby. She knows him pretty well, and she can tell you just how stubborn I was.” A soft chuckle left his mouth. “That will give you a good clue into Cole’s personality.”
Once they returned to the house, Chase left to work with one of the horses, leaving Abby and her inside.
“Let me tell you how Chase and I met. I’ve never seen a more stubborn man and trust me, Cole isn’t any different as far as that goes.” Abby told her the story of how she and Chase and fought their attraction for each other, and she had to laugh. “The first I met Cole, I didn’t have hardly any clothes on.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“No.” Abby blushed. “Chase and I were here in the living room. One of the horses had kicked him and broken his leg. I kept trying to help him, but he could be so damned stubborn. He drove me nuts!”
Carrie chuckled.
“Don’t ask me why, but I volunteered to play cards with Chase. Somehow,” Abby cleared her throat, “somehow we managed to end up playing strip poker.”
“Strip poker?”
“Yeah. Anyway, we finally gave in to the desire that raged between us every time we were in the same room.” Abby’s blush deepened. “We hadn’t gotten dressed yet when Cole pulled into the driveway and came busting through the door. I didn’t have a shirt on. Embarrassed is too mild a word, but what really shocked the hell out of me was the fact that he looks so much like my former husband, it’s eerie sometimes.” She revealed to Carrie how she lost her first husband in the Twin Tower bombings, and they cried together as Carrie told her about her parents and Jess.
“You’ve been through the ringer in the last couple of years.”
Wild Rodeo Nights Page 13