by J. Andersen
I exhale slowly, lip quivering, and Micah pulls me into a hug. “It’ll be okay. Let him see your pain. It’ll make it more believable.”
I’m shaking as I agree, and by the time we walk to the front of the car with the carrier, the tears slide down my cheeks and my palms are sweating. I can barely look at Saul. I’m afraid he’ll see right through me. I need to say something to make this more convincing.
Micah stands at my side, still holding the carrier.
“Saul, please.” I pull my hands to my chest. “Please don’t do this.”
“Stop with the waterworks, and say good-bye to your son. Then Micah can put him in my car.”
“Saul, I can’t. Please don’t make me do this.”
He takes a forceful step toward me and leans down to get in my face.
Micah immediately steps between us.
“We had an agreement,” Saul says. He waves his hand toward Micah. “I kept my end. Now it’s time to keep yours. Put the kid in my car, or I’ll do it for you.” His voice is sharp, and he glares at me. He’s going to flip at any moment. It’s not a good time to push him.
Micah turns to me. “Stay here. I’ll do it.” With that, he walks to the car and fastens the seat in the back. When he returns to my side, I bury my face in his chest. This is almost over. Almost done.
Just drive away. I silently will Saul to get in the car.
But I don’t hear him walking, so I break from my grasp on Micah and look up. Saul’s sneer has melded into a full blown smile. Then he lets out a hearty belly laugh.
“Do it,” Saul says to the guy standing next to him, the one who jumped from the roof. He never breaks my gaze.
It’s only when I hear Micah gasp behind me that I see her. Her hands are tied behind her back, and her mouth is covered in silver tape.
“Ally!” Hunter shouts. He races forward, gun aimed directly at Saul. “Let her go, you Sonofa—”
But before he gets very far, three men tackle him to the ground and rifles point at the rest of our men. Saul never flinches.
“Bring her here,” Saul says. When Ally’s next to him, he rips the tape halfway off her mouth, and she lets out a scream of pain. Tears stream down her face, and she’s shaking from fear or cold or both. Behind me, Micah tenses and takes a step toward her, and Saul wags his finger. “Ah, ah, ah … don’t move.” Then Saul looks at Ally. “Tell them. It’ll sound so much sweeter coming from you.”
Her eyes burn with rage, but the fear takes over again. She looks right at me. “Ben and I went for a walk, and Saul snuck up on us. He took Benjamin. Said he knew you wouldn’t bring Brody, and Ben was his insurance.”
“Kate,” Saul says, “did you honestly think I wouldn’t catch on? I admit, you had me going for a moment there. Baby in the carrier. The thing looked real, too, but tell me truly, what mother doesn’t kiss her infant son good-bye?”
My shoulders fall, and suddenly I can’t breathe. It’s like I’ve been kicked in the gut. My one mistake.
“Here’s the deal I made with Ally.” Saul barely gives Ally a glance. “If I get my son, my real son, I’ll give hers back. If not, the kid is mine to do with as I wish. Haven’t decided yet if I’ll raise him as my own or just kill him. Either way sounds fine to me.”
“No, nooo!” Ally sobs. Tears run down her cheeks in rivers as she thrashes against her bindings.
Saul grabs the tape still hanging from her cheek and shuts her mouth with it again. “Take her back inside. I’m sick of seeing her.”
His soldier obeys.
Once the door closes and Ally’s cries have muffled, Saul straightens his back and clasps his hands behind him. With precise steps, he comes toe-to-toe with me and closes in until his nose is nearly touching mine.
“Now,” he says, “GO GET MY SON!”
TWENTY EIGHT
THE LONG ROAD HOME
(KATE)
Istumble backward, but Micah’s arms catch me as I fall.
“I’ll wait right here until you bring him. No more tricks, Kate. Bring me Brody, or Ally will never see her kid again.”
Micah whispers in my ear, but everything is muffled like I’m walking through thick sludge. I try to focus on his words, but they all blend together. He must be attempting to console me, but he has to know nothing will work. I’m losing my son.
Micah’s hand on my elbow is strong as he leads me back to the car, and when he reaches for the door handle and I see his muscular forearms, I’m struck by how odd it is that someone as strong as he is couldn’t help me save my son. Someone as clever and smart.
“Come on,” he says. “Get in. I’ll drive you there.”
I’m still in a daze as Micah slides in next to me and the only things to jolt me back into reality are Hunter’s fists slamming against my window. Guards stand on either side of him, but they let him threaten me. “You better bring him back, Kate! I swear I’ll make you pay if I lose my son!” He screams and pounds, and his face is red with fury. Micah drives off, but Hunter’s voice carries through the glass once more. “Bring him back!”
Every once in a while, Micah glances at me. He must be afraid to speak because he just turns his head back to the trail in front of us. I don’t care. I can’t even look at him right now.
I have to give up my son.
There’s an inkling of desire to take Brody and run. Get away; leave these people and this place. With Micah’s help, I could do it. He loves me, yes. But would he sacrifice the rest of his family for me? He’d leave them. He already admitted that, but now, with Benjamin under Saul’s control, I don’t know if Micah would actually go. His sense of duty would win out.
I take a chance and turn my head to look at him. He must feel my gaze, so he glances at me, too. His lips are clenched, and the worry lines around his eyes are prominent. On his face is a look I’ve never seen. A mixture of anger and sadness and doubt. It’s the doubt that solidifies it for me. He wouldn’t run. Not now. Not until Ally has Benjamin back. It can only mean one thing. He’s going to make me give up Brody.
And I hate him for it.
****
I barely notice when we enter the gate to Arcanus. Only the darkness and the descent into the pits of the earth register in my mind. And I secretly wish the ground would cave in on us, burying us in the blackness. But it doesn’t, and moments later, we drive into Jaxon’s garage. The door opens, and Micah pulls onto the street and heads toward the house.
My palms are sweating, and the knot in my stomach twists tighter. I think I’m going to throw up. I can’t do this. I can’t bring my son to that monster and walk away. It’ll destroy me.
“We’ll get him back,” Micah says in a low voice. “I promise you. The moment Ben is back in Ally’s arms, I’ll devote every waking moment to getting Brody back in yours.”
I look at him as though he’s a foreigner speaking another language. My Micah wouldn’t choose his sister over me. He’s supposed to love me most. My lip quivers, but I won’t allow him to see me cry. I will be strong. Even if it kills me.
Silas greets us at the door, Brody in hand. Without a word, I take him and head to the back room. Micah fills Silas in on what’s happened, but I don’t want to hear it. Saul’s voice is already etched into my memory and “Go get my son!” is the only thing ringing through my head.
This time, packing Brody’s bag is different. I grab his favorite blanket and tuck it along with a stuffed monkey into a small sack. Then I pick Brody back up into my arms. His hair is moist and smells of lavender. Silas must have bathed him recently. I inhale, trying to hold onto this last moment together. My fingers trail his arms and twist into the tiny curls behind his ears.
“I love you, bud. You hear me? I love you. Never forget that, okay? No matter what anyone tells you in the future, your mother loves you.” A deep breath does nothing to calm me, and soon I’m sobbing. Brody looks at me with his big brown eyes and reaches for my face. I nuzzle into his neck and kiss the soft skin behind his ear. “It’s gonna be okay.
I’m gonna get you back. I promise. I’m gonna get you back.” Maybe if I say it enough times, I’ll believe it myself.
All too soon, Micah is at the doorway urging us to leave. Thankfully, he doesn’t say anything. No words of comfort. Nothing he could ever say could ease the gaping hole in my heart. Silence is best right now. I want to run. To get away from here. Take Brody and leave this place forever. Each step out the door and toward the car is heavy and tortured. If it weren’t for Ally, I’d go without a second thought. Run and never come back. But she’s like a sister to me. I can’t be the cause of her pain. She was there for me when I needed her most, and I won’t turn my back on her.
No matter how badly I want to.
TWENTY NINE
THE END OF THE WORLD
(KATE)
The ride back is shrouded in silence. With each passing minute, my arms hold Brody tighter. Even my subconscious self doesn’t want to let him go. Micah glances at me every few seconds, and seeing him look at me irritates me more and more. Like he’s gauging my reaction.
His hand reaches over to brush my leg, but I can’t stand his touch right now, so I pull my leg away and gaze out the window. I have to lose myself in Brody. These are the last moments I’ll ever have with him.
Brody has buried his head into my neck as we pull up beside the other vehicles. In seconds, Saul is at my door, opening it for me while he speaks into his phone.
“She’s here. Stand down.” Then he turns to me. “Nice to see you actually keeping your end of our bargain this time.” He takes the bag from Micah, who’s rounded the back of the car and is now offering me his hand. When I brush it off, a smug look crosses Saul’s face. I glare at him and step out, still holding my son.
He shakes the phone, answering my unasked question. “Plan B,” he says. “In case you didn’t return.”
Brody starts fussing. He must realize something isn’t right. My mother used to tell me that babies can sense stress.
“Kiss him this time, and hand him over.” Saul reaches out to take Brody out of my arms, and it’s like something in me breaks. Suddenly, I’m sobbing and clutching my baby, trying desperately to hide him. But there’s nowhere to run. Saul is only inches from me, and I’d only get a step away before he’d overtake me.
“P-p-please. Don’t do this, Saul. He needs me!” Brody is screaming as Saul’s massive hands grab him and yank him from my arms.
“You’re upsetting him more than necessary.” The look on Saul’s face is stern, but for half a second, it flashes pity. Then he leans down and whispers in my ear so no one else can hear. “I’ll take good care of him.” That moment of tenderness sends me over the edge. I can’t see through the tears flooding my face, and I can’t breathe through the sobs. My chest is tight, and my muscles don’t work right. Because if they did, I’d be scrambling to get my son from Saul. But right now, the only thing I can do is beg through my whimpers. “Please don’t take him. Please,
Saul. He needs me.”
“What he needs is a stable parent who can teach him right from wrong. Now that I have my son, Benjamin will be returned within the hour. You can expect one of my men here at this cabin.”
Micah puts his hands on my shoulders to steady me, but his touch repulses me. When I yank myself away, I fall to the ground. My strength was ripped from me when Saul pulled Brody from my arms. The stones and twigs press into my hands and knees, and the tears stream from my eyes. It’s hard to breathe through the cries wrenching my body.
Micah reaches down, but I slap at him.
With that, Saul walks to the car. Brody’s tiny face peeks over Saul’s shoulder. He’s too young to know what’s going on, but his eyes are scared, and his skin is red from crying. One miniature arm reaches around toward me. Mine reaches back in return.
I blink away the tears as Saul fastens my son into his car and gets in the driver’s seat. As he drives away, my head spins. My heart aches and my body is tired, but I get to my feet anyway. I can’t see straight or think straight. I’m light-headed, and darkness creeps into my vision, framed by spinning stars. I try to blink it away, but it quickly closes in until all I see is black. I can’t control myself. My legs tingle, so I try to shake them out. But then my muscles spasm, and I’m falling, dreaming. In the distance, I hear voices.
“Kate, I need you to listen to me.”
“Daddy?” I whisper.
Micah’s voice rings out. “Get her inside. Something’s wrong.”
THIRTY
SEIZURE
(MICAH)
Kate drops to the ground right in front of me and starts convulsing, limbs flailing everywhere. I scoop her into my arms and head for the cabin a few yards away. “Jaxon, get the door. Help me lay her down. Jessica, grab anything soft and lay it on the couch.” Kate’s head flops from side to side, and her eyes roll back in her head.
I’ve seen this kind of seizure before. It’s terrifying. I can’t think of a single thing to do to stop the spasms, so I do my best to hold her still. I’m sitting on the edge of the dusty, old couch, pressing her legs against its back with my thigh. My hands hold her arms to her sides, but her body still fights me, her back arching in protest. For a second, she lifts her head, and I think she might wake up, but it slams back down, cracking against the wooden armrest. Then, she’s still. Too still. My head hovers over her nose and mouth to check for breathing, and I press my fingers against her neck. The pulse is there, and she’s taking a few shallow breaths. With the passing minutes, her chest rises and falls in an even rhythm.
It seems like the spasms lasted forever, but in reality, it must have only been a few moments. Maybe a minute.
Now that she’s still, I check her for more injuries. Other than the bump on the head, she’s fine. She’ll have a wicked headache when she wakes up. If she wakes up.
“Is she okay?” Ally asks. Her cheeks are red where the heavy tape covered her lips, but overall Ally looks all right.
Hunter takes her elbow. “She’ll be fine, Ally. Let’s go outside and wait for Benjamin.”
My sister looks at me with worried eyes, but I nod and tell her it’s okay. “I’ll be right behind you.” I attempt a smile, but considering the circumstances, it probably looks more like a grimace.
When Kate’s eyes flutter, I turn back to her and hold her steady again, not sure if she’s going to start another seizure. But she opens them and looks at me.
“Micah?”
“Yeah, I’m here.” I bring my hands to her face and brush my thumb across her cheek and kiss her forehead. “I’m right here. Nothing to worry about.”
She looks around at the sea of faces staring down on her. “Where am I?”
No one answers. Then I say, “At the cabin.”
“Why am I here?”
Wait a second … she doesn’t remember what just happened.
I glance at Jaxon and Jessica to urge them with my eyes not to say anything. “We came to meet Saul, remember?”
Maybe if she remembers on her own, I won’t have to be the one to tell her. Her mind will be ready to handle it. But if she’s still blocking it out, telling her she’s just lost her son will surely send her over the edge.
Her eyes look feverish, and she sits bolt upright. “Brody! He’s still safe, right?”
Emotion chokes her voice, but there’s something about the way she says it that makes me believe she still doesn’t remember. “Yes,” I say tentatively, “he’s safe.” It’s not a lie. Saul’s not going to hurt the child.
My words soothe her, and her shoulders relax. She scooches next to me and rests her head on my chest.
“Kate, we need to get you to a hospital. You collapsed and had a seizure. You need to be checked out before I take you home. Do you think you can walk?”
Her hand rubs her forehead. “I feel woozy.”
“Let me carry you then.” Slipping my arm around her back, I pull her up and slide my other arm under her knees. When she’s fully in my arms, she wraps her hands around my ne
ck and rests her head on my shoulder. She doesn’t say anything. Like she’s savoring the moment or something. I don’t care that everyone’s watching or that they’ll hear what I’m going to say. I’m just glad she’s okay. “Kate, I love you.”
“I lo—”
I stop her words with my lips. Feeling her close to me, feeling her lips on mine, for a second, I can forget all that’s just happened. I want to stop time and stay in the moment forever. Just her and me, alone in our own world. But Jaxon’s voice brings me back to reality.
“Micah,” he whispers. “Benjamin …”
Right. “Let’s get you to a hospital, shall we?” I say to Kate before she has time to ask about Ben. “Jessica, you drive my car. I want to sit in the back with Kate.”
She nods, grabbing the keys from my jacket pocket.
Our extra men make their way to the vehicles and drive down the trail to find a new spot to hide. Ally and Hunter wait in a vehicle to-gether for someone to bring Ben back. I glance over my shoulder as we drive away. The shadows have overtaken the porch and clearing in front of the cabin. Suddenly, it’s eerie looking at the place. Like the building somehow knows the evil that just happened, that a mother lost her son at the hands of a madman. I shudder at the thought.
THIRTY ONE
DADDY FOR A DAY
(SAUL)
Never in my life did I think I’d be doing this. With the baby seat hanging from my arm and the bag of diapers and bottles slung from my shoulder, I trot toward the store at the end of the business district. So far, the little guy is sleeping, but I don’t know how long that’ll last. With limited supplies left in the bag Kate gave me, I have to stock up. I grab a cart, place my son and his seat in the top, and head straight for the baby section.
Standing in front of the large screen of selections, I place my hand on the scanner. “Good afternoon, Saul Goodman,” the computerized voice says. “How can I help you today?”