by Claire Woods
Where did it go so wrong?
Can I even trust my heart not to fool me again?
Here I am having feelings for another man who resembles Tony so much in looks; I definitely have a type. Maybe that’s the problem. I should date a man who could never be mistaken for a pin-up model in one of those photo calendars wearing some stupid costume.
I need to find the exact opposite of Gianni and Tony; someone safe—a man, women don’t go all crazy over.
Rubbing my hands over my cold arms, I leave the graveyard tokens of my old life behind, closing the fold-down stairs to the attic with a resounding thud.
I change out of my date outfit and exchange it for something cozy—yoga pants and a chenille sweater. Rummaging through my sock drawer, I grin finding the gag gift Jen got me last year—thick socks with elves and candy-canes on them. My feet feel like they are wrapped in a blanket as I walk back downstairs to find a holiday movie and polish off that bottle of wine.
AFTER THE TRAIN, WE TOOK Tommy to dinner; then he fell asleep before I pulled onto the interstate. Tiff yawns, laying her head on my shoulder, falling asleep herself. It feels like old times and I think how easy it would be to fall back into old patterns.
My eyes focus on the road, but my thoughts are consumed by Kate. How she tasted when I first kissed her. How her hair smelled as I nuzzled her neck. How frustrated I am that I could be inside her right now, but instead my ex-wife clings to me as if she still has a right to.
I flick the blinker on and pull into the community where Tiff’s condo is, put the truck in park, and gently shake her awake, “We’re here.”
She blinks, looking out the window before turning to me, “No. Take me home, Gianni. Take us home.”
I study her face in the dark, confused by her sudden interest in re-kindling our relationship. “We sold our home Tiff. What’s going on with you?”
“It was so perfect,” she whispers.
“What in the hell are you talking about? The only thing that was… and is still perfect is him.” I turn, pointing to our child sleeping soundly in the back before opening my door and getting out to carry him up to bed. I finish tucking him in and quietly shut the door. With a sigh, I trod down the stairs on heavy feet, pulling up short.
She’s so predictable.
Tiff’s wearing snow-white lace garters with a matching bra and thong. On her feet are silver stilettos; her hair falls to her waist like a cloud. We lock eyes, and she sticks her fake tits out even further, while her tongue darts out of her mouth to lick her lower lip.
She’s sexy as fuck if you go for the strip club type. She’s the one who would drive every man there insane. They’d take out every dollar in the ATM machine for her. They’d watch, getting drunk on the sway of her hips alone, before tucking all their money into her bra—salivating, yearning just to touch her while they sit holding their dicks in their hands.
I’m not one of those guys.
Sex with her felt high for a minute, but then I’d crash back down wishing I could leave her behind like a one-night stand.
I want more.
I want Kate.
I want to kiss and cuddle her after we fuck and fuck some more. I want to fall asleep with her in my arms, wake up holding her close before slipping into her from behind.
I charge Tiff picking her up fireman style, marching her straight upstairs to her room, dumping her on the bed.
She licks her lips spreading her legs.
I pick up the coverlet folded at the foot of her bed, flinging it at her, “Cover yourself up. It’s cold out tonight.”
Without another glance, I turn around walking out.
“Are you going to h-her?”
Silk pillows hit my back. I stop and walk back to sit down on the bed next to her. I haven’t been this pissed at her in a long time, but she’s still the mother of my son—I need to make her understand.
“Look Tiff. I’m so damn proud of you for going back to get your degree. You gave me Tommy, and I love him more than anything. But this… ” I gesture between the two of us, “Doesn’t work. We’ve been over this. You never fought the divorce. Help me understand what’s going on here?”
The tears in her eyes make her seem softer as her lower lip trembles, “You might not have loved me, but I loved you. I thought I was doing the right thing letting you go… but I’m selfish. Jealous. I can’t stand the thought of you and h-her.”
“I’ve been with other women since we split.”
“I figured. But it was just sex—right?”
My eyes cut to her nails digging into her palms. “I can’t talk about this… it’s none of your business, and I don’t want you to flip-out waking Tommy. I’m sick of fighting and feeling like shit after. Besides, you have no right to know what’s in my heart for another woman.”
She trembles in disbelief; attempting to seat herself in my lap. I push her away standing, “It’s late. I need to go. I’m sorry Tiff—my feelings haven’t changed. It’s better if we don’t try to go back. We can’t keep jerking Tommy around. He’s finally in a healthy routine—I won’t upheave.”
She nods, letting her tears fall. But I can’t comfort her, she needs to handle these feelings on her own. Christ, we’ve been divorced for a while now.
My body moves silently through her house checking the locks on all the windows and doors before I lock the front one behind me.
I feel a hundred years old as I slide behind the wheel of my truck. I sit in the dark, cold, night wondering how in the fuck I ended up here instead of in bed with Kate?
My key turns in the ignition and my truck fires up, blasting the inside of the cab with warm air. I drive through neighborhood after neighborhood staring at the holiday lights. My mind knew where I needed to be, even if I drove here on auto-pilot.
I put the truck into park and cut the engine. The thick soles on my heavy boots are the only thing keeping me from falling on my ass since her driveway is coated with a thin sheet of ice.
My knuckles rap on the door two times.
Her front lights flicker on.
She opens the door.
My breath hitches.
“Can I come in?”
Her arms cross over her chest, “What are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you—I just want to talk. Things are so fucked up right now—I need you.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t.” Her voice breaks on a whisper, and she moves back shutting the door.
“Dammit, Kate. Don’t shut me out. There’s nowhere else I wanted to be tonight, than here with you.”
But she doesn’t open the door, and her porch lights flick, off leaving me standing in the dark. I bow my head. This is a kick in the nuts.
I did nothing wrong but ended up the bad guy—getting punished for the heart someone else broke—for the lies someone else told.
I thrust my hands into the front pocket of my jeans and jog down her steps.
“I wish you were here with me too,” her sweet voice calls out from behind me.
“Kate… baby… ” I spin around cutting the distance between us. My arms haul her to me as I walk us into her house slamming the door.
“You’re freezing,” she says running her hands over my arms.
“Warm me up then.”
I pepper hot kisses behind her ear and down her neck as she clings to me. “I’m sorry Gianni. So, sorry. I let her get in my head. She’s been posting pictures of you all night. Please don’t think less of me. I know it was stupid and immature to look Tiff up on Facebook… we have mutual “friends” in common. The three of you looked so perfect—so happy. It made me feel like all the women I hate—the ones that don’t give a shit if they bust up a family as long as they get their man. But when she posted that last pic of her wearing lingerie in bed—”
“SHE DID WHAT!?”
I take out my phone and check my Facebook. Sure, as shit, friggin’ Tiff took a selfie of herself stretched out in her bed with a post about “getting her man back
.”
“What the fuck? I swear I don’t want her. I haven’t for a long time.” I run a hand through my hair, “Christ, maybe she’s a better actress than I gave her credit for.”
Kate leads me into her kitchen and pours me a glass of wine. Her hands shake as she pours and if I didn’t steady her—my drink would end up on the counter instead of in my glass.
“You drunk baby?”
“Maybe just a little.”
I smirk, “Well hell, let’s put this away and make some decaf.”
She yawns, and I can’t wait any longer. I place my drink down hauling her into my arms like I’ve wanted to for hours.
Her hair smells so fuckin’ good.
I savor the feeling of finally holding her before speaking. “She told me she was changing and I almost bought it… said that she’s going back for a teaching degree and has been busy on the weekends putting it all together. But posting selfies in lingerie on Facebook won’t get her hired. She’s lost her damned mind. I need to call her, I’m sorry, give me a minute.” I pull out my phone, swiping the screen.
“Tiff? What? Hell, no I didn’t change my mind. I’m not coming back over… listen, you need to delete that post. You’re going to embarrass Tommy. Aren’t you Facebook friends with half the moms in school? Did you even think about that?” I shake my head pretending to listen to her response.
But, I can’t keep my eyes off Kate.
She did something different to her hair, but I can’t quite figure out what. I could get lost in her eyes just as much as I could her body.
“Uh-huh, whatever. Take that shit down. I meant it.” I reply, ending the call and placing my phone down on the counter.
She’s backing away from me.
The entire time I was speaking to Tiff—my eyes were talking to Kate. There was no miscommunication. I stride towards her with purpose. She walks backward, slowly at first, but increases the pace as my strides lengthen.
My nostrils flare.
Fine.
If she wants to play it like this, I’ll let her—for a second.
Her eyes widen, her hands are out, palms facing me, trying to put me off. But I won’t be put off. I’m tired of putting my needs last, making sure everyone has what they need.
Now, I’m taking what I need.
She yelps, moving behind her couch. I vault right the fuck over, boots landing with a solid thump, and take her in my arms like I own her.
My arms are concrete, solid and strong, cementing her body to mine. My head dips, my eyes locking with hers telling her where we’re going—to the stars and back.
“I want to, but I can’t. All my old wounds opened tonight. I’m raw. Hurting.”
“I’m sorry, baby. But don’t push me away. I’m not the man who cut your heart out. But I do want to be the man who steals it next.”
“The two of you are so similar.”
“Me and Tony?” I snort, “I’m nothing like him, and you know it. Besides, have you seen these muscles? I could crush him with one hand.” I wink still holding her flush against me.
Rubbing my pelvis against hers, I whisper, “ …and I know they’ll be no comparison down there…” My hips circle, gyrating slowly against her in a naughty courtship.
“God, Gianni… what are you doing to me?” She moans rubbing against me.
My mouth drops a kiss against her ear, she shivers as I nuzzle her hair and slide down to her neck taking a quick nip. Her lips part; eyes giving consent.
I can’t help the shudder that runs through me. Her hands tremble as they cup my face. And I know she needs this—needs us just as badly as I do.
My lips claim hers sweetly for a second before I dive the hell in taking what’s mine.
Our mouths open wide as we crash together. It feels so damn good to want a woman this much. It’s a sweet torment, a violent delight, the most painful pleasure and now that I’ve found her—I’m not letting her the fuck go.
I spent too many years with Tiff pretending to feel fire when all I felt was freezer burn. But Kate’s—all friggin’ unicorns and rainbows. She’s the best gift I never saw coming. Maybe there really is a Santa Claus, and she’s my early Christmas gift.
My hands snake under her sweater, boldly staking claim. I hold one breast then the other, memorizing the shape, weight, and feel of them in my hands. My fingers steal inside lace finding her pert nipples. I pinch them gently, then circle them like a shark circles its prey. Round and round, round and round, before going for the kill in one fast move.
I yank the V of her sweater aside; my mouth opens over her, tugging her breast into my hot mouth in one fell swoop.
Soft skin and rough lace become an addiction.
I’m a junkie craving another hit, so I take it moving to her other breast.
I’ve been primed for hours, needing this. My dick needs to claim her; erase the feel of any other man being inside. The thought of Tony tasting her, taking her and knowing what she feels like, makes me want to smash windows.
She trembles in my arms, so I ease my hold, “You okay cupcake?”
“Yeah,” she laughs nervously, “but I need to slow down here. It’s easy to forget we only met a week ago.”
I sigh, eyes noticing how her hands twist the end of her sweater. “I understand.”
Backing away, I wipe a hand across my face and lean my arms on the mantel. “I need a minute.” My eyes close, trying to calm the angry beast in my pants. He’s roaring for release. Demanding I claim our beauty, take her prisoner in the castle of our bed—not letting her leave until every, last drop drips from her thighs.
I groan, tormented by the visions in my head of the things I’m dying to do to her. I need a distraction…all I can think about is the animalistic need to take my woman. My fists clench on-top of the mantel.
“Does this fireplace work?”
“Yes. But it’s gas burning.”
“How come?”
“Tony had it converted shortly after we moved in. He didn’t want to deal with soot and ashes.”
I snort at what a pansy-ass Tony is. “I can convert it back to wood burning if you’d like.” I bend down finding the valve and switch it on. Flames lick across fake wood casting a glow onto the floor.
“It’s okay. I think I’m ready to sell. I never loved this house anyway. It was all his taste. I’m ready to make myself a home.”
The coffee machine beeps from the kitchen.
“Do you take yours black?”
“I like lots of cream with a pinch of sugar,” I wink.
She blushes. “Stop. You are so bad.”
“What? We are talking about coffee?”
“Yeah, sure.”
She comes back over handing me a mug. I take her feet in my lap, and she lays back against the other end of the couch. “Nice socks.”
With one hand cupping my mug I massage her feet with the other. But I need two hands on her, even if only on her feet. I place my mug down with a thud.
She’s addictive. Intoxicating. Sexy as hell.
It’s been a while for me, but I can control myself. What I can’t do is stop touching her.
“Kate?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m going to make out with you for the next few hours. Like a kid in the back of an old Chevy. Pants are staying on—tops are optional.”
“O-okay.”
“Good. You have any other rules before we get started?”
“Yes. No talking.”
I take her mug placing it on the table next to mine, then take my boots off, pressing a knee between her thighs. My long sleeve shirt comes off. My tank next. I kneel between her thighs in my jeans watching her eyes devour me.
“Like your Christmas gift?”
“Yes, but it’s only partially un-wrapped.”
“You wanna go further?”
She shakes her head. “That’s what I thought. Just kisses for now. Long ones, short ones, sweet ones, dirty ones… ” I lift her sweater over her head throwing
it aside. Pinning her hands over her head I growl, “But I get to decide where. Nowhere is off-limits. Got it?”
“Yes.” She whimpers, pushing her hips up.
I look her in the eye, then up and down. Taking my time. My gaze rakes over her skin teasing her while she waits for my touch.
My head lowers, my tongue sweeping down the hollow of her throat… between her breasts, across her belly to where the band of her yoga pants hugs her mid-riff. I take it all in one long lick; tasting her skin.
I lick my way back up to her lips before diving inside. She kisses me like a wild virgin; wet and ready for her first fuck and I’m so hot for her—I could come in my pants like a schoolboy seeing his first pair of tits.
Her legs wrap around my waist, and we dry-fuck and kiss like I told her we would.
We’re not Gianni and Kate: two parents in their thirties. We’ve traveled back in time to Gianni and Kate—two souls that should have met before other people put their marks on us.
We’re young and free, making out like fire… afraid of getting caught. Our touches are fast and furious—trying to get everywhere before our parents find us and tell one of us to go home.
Finally, we slow.
Our hearts beat together. Our bodies melded in one embrace as I lay my head down next to hers and kiss the side of her neck before rolling us on our sides.
My arm takes her prisoner, not letting go as she whispers my name and threads our fingers together. Both of us stare into the firelight feeling content and at peace; both knowing down to the marrow of our bones that we are going to be together.
We just need to sort some shit out first.
Tomorrow, I’m having a talk with Tiff. I’m not gonna let her sabotage my future happiness. She better cut the crap out, ‘cause I’m going to slay all of Kate’s villains and give her the fuckin’ fairy tale she deserves. She’s about to become the starring role in the next princess movie and if all goes well—one day I’ll make her my queen.
My dick wakes me up. Sleeping with a ten-inch batting ram in your pants is impossible. I groan feeling a handful of warm breast and tight curves nestled against me.