by Heidi Acosta
“This is stupid,” he complains.
“Just try it!” I demand.
“No,” He is such a stubborn boy.
“Come on, just try it,” I urge him. “I promise not to laugh.” I hold up my finger in a mock scout salute.
“Oh, hey there, Katie, did you do something with your hair?”
I get back in character. “Oh yeah. You like how lame it looks?” I smile unable to help myself.
He ignores me and continues. “I thought it looked really short.” I smile. Good job, the boy can be taught.
“Good. Now, get really close to me like you are going to kiss me, but don’t. Ask for my number, but make it obvious that you probably will not call.” He cocks his eyebrows at me “Just do it.” He closes the space between us, bringing his head so close that I can feel his warm breath tickling my cheek. He smells like fresh cut grass and Irish Spring soap again.
“Maybe I will give you a call sometime,” he breathes.
But my mind is drawing a blank “Umm… good…” Get it together, Barbie. I take a deep breath. Bad choice, because the scent of him fills me. I take a step back, trying the clear my head, “Now you need to touch her, move a loose piece of hair, a stray eyelash.” I swallow.
He brings his hand to a piece of hair that is blowing across my mouth. His hand gently brushes against my lips before tucking it back behind my ear. I resist the pull to lean forward and close my eyes. My knees feel so weak. “Okay, now walk away. Go talk to another girl,” I whisper more breathy than I would like. What the hell just happened? My head has been messing with me. I do not have feelings for Dylan. Do I? The feeling of my chest burning when he talks to Katie is not jealousy. I turn to where Byron is smacking his football buddies on the butt, trying to get my bearings. I grip the railing. Maybe I will take Byron up on the offer.
***
I am in the back of the new silver Mustang Byron’s daddy got him. His body is pressed on top of me. The numb feeling I search for is not coming. He brings his mouth to mine. His kisses are wet and sloppy. I turn my face, and he plants a wet kiss on my check. I cringe. I need to shut off my mind and the endless images and words that float through it. I need Byron to clear my head of Dylan. I do not like Dylan. I pull Bryon’s shirt over his head. He gives me a grin. He thinks that it is going further than I am willing to go. His mouth finds the exposed skin just above my bra. I squeeze my eyes shut, blocking Dylan’s face. That stupid smirk he wears. The superior air he has to himself. I try to block the image of his cheeks brightening when I make flirtatious comments. Or how my skin tingles when we hold hands, and how my stomach does this weird little flip when I am waiting for him to get out of class. Shit. I have feelings for Dylan Knight.
“Byron?” I try pushing his meaty head off of me, but not before he gets one more kiss in. Gross. I feel like I am swimming in his slobber.
“You feel so good,” he moans.
“Okay big boy, I need to take a break.” I push up his head so he can make eye contact with me.
“A break?” He looks really confused. Maybe I spoke too fast for him to comprehend.
“Yeah. Can we talk or something?” I manage to push the rest of his heavy body up.
“Talk?”
I sigh and pull my shirt off the floor. “Yeah like form words with our mouths.”
A stupid grin spreads across his face. “There is something I would like to do with your mouth.”
Ooo-kay. I walked into that one. “Forget it.” I reach for the door handle
“I was kidding, how about I take you to get something to eat and we can do that talking thing.”
I stop and look at him. No one has ever offered to take me out to eat before. The guys react in several different ways when I tell them I am not hooking up. They get pissed, call me names, or spread rumors about me going all the way with them. No one has ever asked me to go out to eat before.
“That would be nice.” I release the door handle and climb over to the front seat. He gets out and jogs over to the driver’s side.
We are sitting in a red leather booth at the Peacock King. Byron is playing with his chop sticks while we wait for my chicken lo mein and egg roll. Byron has ordered the whole right side of the to-go menu. I thought I could eat, but I am not a two-hundred-pound football player.
“So what do you want to talk about?” he asks. I have been pretty mum on the whole talking thing. Maybe I am just freaked out by the kind side of him. I take a big sip from my Coke before talking, “Have you ever had feelings for someone who is…different from you?” Our food arrives.
“Different?”
I feel like smacking my forehead. This kid is good-looking, but completely dense, “What do you mean?”
I twist my noodles around my fork. I am not about to starve in attempting to eat my food with two sticks. “You know, have you ever had a crush on a girl who was different from you? Like had the hot’s for one of the Goth chicks? Someone different from the cheerleaders you usually go for?”
He frowns. Then his eyebrows shoot into his hairline as recognition lights up his face.
“Not me!” I roll my eyes.
“Oh, well yeah, I guess.” He scoops up his rice with his fingers, chop sticks now tossed aside. Charming. I gesture with my hands for him to continue, “last year I had to work on a project with this girl. She was in the band.”
Oh, the scandal. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “Well, what happened? Did you tell her how you felt?” I ask.
He shakes his head no. “It would never work out. She belongs with the band geeks, and I belong with the jocks,” he sighs. That is really sad. “I see her practicing on the field sometimes and I wonder what would happen if I just walked over and kissed her,” he wonders sadly.
“Why not? Why can’t you just go over and kiss her and tell her how you feel? What is the worst that can happen?” I ask honestly.
He blinks at me before laughing “Try losing all my friends, getting made fun of, becoming a social leper or worse, her laughing at me. What if she did not feel the same way back? I cannot put myself out there without her returning my feelings.” Sadness washes over his boyish features and I feel sad for him. “We are just too different,” he shakes his head, repeating it to himself.
I lay in bed, listening to the sound of Everett sleep, staring at the brown stain on the ceiling. Byron dropped me off. Both of us were lost in somber moods, making the car ride a quiet one. He was not able to make me numb and now his words are mixing with my feelings, leaving me more confused than before. I wonder if I will ever feel numb again. He did have a point. Dylan and I are not meant to be together. I need to forget about him. Move on. Concentrate on getting him what he wants and that is not me. I need to ignore these feelings. He is something I can’t have. Something I can’t want.
Chapter 9.
Changes
I don’t get this girl. One moment she is flirting with anyone who walks by her, or flirting with me. Now I think she is avoiding me. Like yesterday, we were studying, and she gets this brilliant idea of acting out how to be around Katie. Everything was going well. I think I really got a hold of this flirting thing, and I am excited to try the new tactics on Katie. Now she changes. She becomes somber and distant like I did something. I was just doing what she told me to do. Whatever, I don’t have time to worry about her mood swings and whatever bipolar episode she is in the middle of having. I am going to put Barbie far out of my mind and not think of her at all this weekend. I have plans with Third. Whatever her problem is, I don’t care.
I load the mower into the back of my beat-up pickup truck and head out to work. I mow eight lawns every Saturday. At twenty bucks a pop, it’s not too bad. Between tutoring and mowing lawns, I have a nice chunk of change. I have been saving for three years. As soon as we graduate, Third and I are going to Japan, the birth place of Nintendo. It is my graduation present for myself. My parents can’t swing a trip like that, so I have been saving. Third.
However, is getting a free trip with the guilt trip approach he pulls with his mother. I love Emmy, but, damn, the benefits of being an only child.
I wonder if Barbie is an only child too. She sure acts like it. I bet she has a caring family. She must be driving them crazy with the way she dresses and how she flirts with anyone that glances in her direction. I actually feel bad for her family having a daughter like that. She acts superior, not hanging out with anyone. She thinks she is better than them. And what’s up with her name? I bet that Barbie is not even her real name. She probably named herself that, thinking she looks like a damn doll. Urgh. She is frustrating.
The sun is beating down on me. The presence of summer is rearing its ugly head. Sweat drips into my eyes, burning them. I am mowing my last house. It has the largest yard and Mr. Grant usually only pays me half. But I don’t care. If he told me I had to pay him, I would. This is because it is right next door to Katie’s house. I get to be closer to her. Katie’s yard is cut by a professional landscaper, perfect horizontal lines cut into the grass. I hardly ever see her outside, but when I do it is worth every ripped-off penny. I keep my eyes fixed on the large white house with the big red door in front of me. Then it happens. The red door opens, and out walks Katie. She is wearing a dark blue tank top and white pressed shorts. She holds a blue and white striped towel in one of her hands. She tosses it in the back of her white convertible VW bug and gets in.
I turn off the mower and watch her back out of her driveway. She stops in front of me. “Hi Dylan,” she wiggles her fingers, and brings her sunglasses up to her head. “Are you going to Rock Falls for Junior picnic day?” she asks. “I am going to make a speech for the up and coming seniors.”
I was planning on heading home to play video games with Third. I try to avoid school functions outside of the school premises. These kinds of events always end the same. Some drunken asshole jumps off the top of the falls. I wanted no part of the tradition this year. I plan to slip into senior year undetected.
“It would be great for you to show your school spirit.”
“Yeah, of course I am going. Go Devils!” Stupid, Stupid me.
Katie gives me a weird look, “Well, okay, I will see you there. Oh, and Barbie will be coming, right? I know these school spirit things are not really her thing, but since you two are together now…” She trails off.
“Yeah she will be there.” Shit.
“Kay, see ya,” Katie shifts into gear. I watch her drive off down the road. Shit, how am I going to find Barbie? I have no clue where the girl even lives I don’t have her number. Hell, I don’t even think she has a phone. I’ve never seen her use one and most girls have a phone attached to their ears. I pull out my phone and text Third.
***
Third shows up at my house with Barbie in tow an hour later. I could barely pull Emmy off her to stick her in Mrs. Ellis’s van for her play date. Emmy introduced Barbie as the real thing. The Ellis twins were as fascinated with her as Emmy was. They thought she looked like Malibu Barbie, with her high purple wedges on and a bright blue, very-mini, sun dress. One of the twins actually got down and touched her rainbow-painted toes. Barbie didn’t help matters when she told them about her first love, “Ken.”
Mrs. Ellis was less than thrilled with Barbie or Third’s appearance. He somehow managed to get a pair of fake gold teeth and has not stopped cheesing it. The gold teeth don’t really go with the Hawaiian-print matching short set his mom bought him. It is going to be a long day.
Barbie has yet to make eye contact with me. Still in a bad mood about whatever it is she is mad about. She slides into my cab, straddling the stick shift between her legs. Every time I have to shift, my hand rubs against her leg. It is like a small jolt of electricity travels up my arm each time. She looks out of Third’s window, pretending I don’t exist. She better not mess things up with Katie this time.
Katie stands on top of a flat rock under a banner that reads, “Welcome upcoming Seniors to the beginning of the rest of your life.” Tyler stands next to her in an all-black attire, playing Mr. G cool. What a douche. He has been checking out her ass the whole time and not listening to her carefully prepared speech. I am sure she spent a lot of time writing, revising, and editing it carefully for the speech that she is now giving. It is lost on ass-wipes like Tyler. I try to hang on to every word, which is hard to do with Barbie and her high-pitched laughter. Third is making her laugh like that. I cannot hear what he was saying to her. I can only see his large wild gestures. I glare at them, but they are both ignoring me. “And last, but not least, I want to welcome the new Central seniors.” Katie finishes her speech. I clap. Tyler helps her down, and I walk over to congratulate her.
“Great speech,” I touch Katie on her bare shoulder. My stomach ties up in knots.
“Thanks,” she looks over at Third and Barbie, who is squealing as Third gives her a piggy-back ride to the food table. Her dress is raised high, exposing her tanned thigh. Her arms are squeezed tightly around Third’s fat neck as he spins them in a circle. My face burns. I want to punch him in the face for being so disrespectful to Katie. “At least someone enjoyed it,” she says.
“I did, it was great. A lot of people enjoyed it actually.” Just not the two idiots who are acting like complete fools. I stuff my hands into my pockets and watch them wait in line. Does he have to hold her as they go through the food line?
“I have a few things I need to finish up…I will catch up with you in a little while,” Katie says with a smile. I can’t help but cheese it like a fool. Katie wants to hang out with me.
“Yeah.Sure.”
Barbie is lying down on her stomach. Her blond hair fans out around her. Third is handing her a gummy bear and she begins to slowly mutilate the poor thing. She is biting off its tiny head, and then its little arms before popping the remains into her mouth.
“What the hell are you doing?” I snap, sitting down next to them. My mood soured. Apparently when Katie said she would catch up with me, she really meant hanging all over Tyler.
“Eating a gummy bear,” she replies nonchalantly before taking another one from Third.
“Want one?” Third offers.
“No. I mean you guys were so disrespectful during Katie’s speech.” I am pissed and I am taking it out on them. All I think about is Tyler’s hands on the small of Katie’s back. Are they together?
“Dude, relax, it was over. Besides we were not the only ones not paying attention to her lame hour-long speech about being responsible seniors. What’s up with that bullshit?” he mocks.
“It’s not bull shit!” I yell, my anger boiling over.
Barbie sits up and looks at me, sizing me up, trying to read me. I wait for her sarcastic remark, but she surprises me, “I am sorry.” She places her hand on my arm, and I am transfixed once again with her huge eyes. They seem to hold me in place reading something that is not there. She means it. She really is sorry.
“No more red ones,” Third announces, shaking the bag of gummy bears.
***
Third finishes his sixth hot dog. “Pleassse!” Barbie begs as she pulls on Third’s arm
“Nah, man, there is no way I am getting all this jelly in that freezing ass water.” He grabs his huge belly, shaking it.
“Dylan, will you please go in?” she turns to me. Oh, hi, now you remember me. She has been too busy for the last hour being hand-fed by Third to notice my existence. Today royally sucks. I just want to go home and go to sleep. Pretend it never happened. Things just keep on sucking more and more as the day goes on. First Tyler picked up Katie and ran into the water with her squealing, which turned into a water fight between the two of them. And Barbie, my fake girlfriend, obviously forgot her role. She has been laughing and joking with Third as he sorts gummy bears because she cannot eat the green ones. Shouldn’t that be my job as fake boyfriend? “The only way you are getting me in that water is if you jump off the top of the falls,” I say. She can go back to ignoring me f
or all I care. So far no drunken football player has attempted it yet. It is still early. Barbie pouts and looks up at the falls.
“Fine.” She stands up and starts walking.
“What? No I was kidding.” I lie back on the blanket and cover my eyes with my arm. A headache is beginning to form in my temples.
“Dude, if she dies, it is all on you,” Third announces. I drop my arm. Barbie is standing on a rock that juts out over the falls.
“What the hell? I was kidding,” I stand up. Chants of her name start. Shit. Her hands are on her hips as she sizes up the situation. I start to jog up to her. If she dies…shit. I don’t think a girl has ever jumped off. It is a tradition for new football players to jump. I have seen the broken arms and the staples in heads. They are built for injures like that. Barbie is a so small compared to them. What will happen to her if she jumps? I can hear my mom now. “How could you let that happen to that poor sweet girl, Dylan?” I race up to the top, where she stands. Third is right. If she dies jumping off, it is entirely my fault.
“What are you doing?” I lean over and gasp for air as when I reach her.
“Seeing where to aim when I jump. I think that’s the spot.” She points to the dark center of the pool below us. Holy crap, we are high.
“Don’t be stupid,” I warn.
She glares at me, and starts to undress. “Barbie, what are you doing?”
She shimmies out of her dress, letting it fall to the ground. She is not wearing a bathing suit. Holy-shit. I run my hand over my face. She is about to jump off the falls in a blue bra and purple panties. The pink strip of hair blows across her face. She reminds me of a fruit salad with all her rainbow colors. “Don’t do this. Do you know what they are going to think?” I gesture to the crowd below us, chanting her name.
Her eyes narrow, “You care so much what they think of you.” I do. “I already told you I don’t care what they think.” She stands up straighter with her hands perched on her hips.
“Fine, but don’t do this. I don’t want everyone thinking I am going out with the crazy girl who jumps off water falls in her underwear.” I don’t want to be part of the rumors that fly around about her.