‘What’s that?’
‘To see if the painting she was holding back was pictured in it. Once the painting was connected with looted Holocaust art it would become completely worthless from a financial standpoint.’
‘Bye bye, imported koa wood paneling.’
Paul saluted with the empty skewer. ‘Exactly.’
After dinner was over, we were invited back to the main dining room for an evening of entertainment. Paul and I joined a cast of nearly one hundred at one of several small tables arranged, cabaret-style, around the room.
On a raised platform at the end of the room nearest the bar sat a pianist, a bass player and a drummer, all three looking snappy in navy sports jackets and chinos. At the far right stood a gentleman wearing striped suspenders and a remarkable Three Stooges tie that Charlie Robinson, the regular Calvert Colony piano player, would have been proud to own. He held a trombone to his lips and was warming up, working the slide.
Tyson stepped onto the stage and leaned into the mike. ‘We’ve got a special treat for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Here, all the way from Jamestown, New York, is Barbara Jean and her band. Let’s put our hands together for the coolest girl crooner this side of the Mississippi River, Bar-bra Jean!’
Smiling brightly, Barbara Jean dashed out of the bar area and took the stage. She wore a neon-blue, off-the-shoulder dress. Her hair, cut in a stylish, shoulder-length shag, shone like burnished copper in the spotlights.
The singer eased the microphone out of the stand and placed it close to her lips. ‘Funny you should say that, Tyson, because the first song I’m going to sing for you tonight is, “I’m not cool yet, but I’m getting warm.”’ A wave of laughter arose from the audience, the piano played a riff and she began singing – low, slow and seductive.
After the first verse, Paul leaned into me. ‘I think I’m in love.’
I took immediate corrective action with a sharp elbow to his ribs.
Our server kept the wine coming while Barbara Jean performed classic songs by George Gershwin, Cole Porter and Irving Berlin. Who doesn’t swoon to ‘Summertime,’ could resist clapping your hands to ‘Anything Goes,’ or singing along with ‘Puttin’ on the Ritz?’
Heather, butt first, eased through the swinging door from the Tidewater Bar pulling Lillian in her wheelchair.
‘“Super duper!”’ Lillian sang along with the chanteuse.
Paul shot to his feet and pulled his chair aside, clearing a path for Lillian who was ensconced in her wheelchair like the queen of England, surrounded by her loyal entourage, a menagerie of pint-sized stuffed animals. More than a dozen were sprawled across her lap and tucked into the spaces between her hips and the arms of the chair.
‘We’ve come to join the party,’ Lillian beamed as Heather slotted the chair into the space next to me.
‘We?’
Lillian held up a gray-striped cat and smoothed its acrylic fur. ‘Me and my babies. They’ve been very good – no fighting and no biting – so I told them they could come to the party, too.’
Beanie Babies! Of course. The bull dog she held up next, and the psychedelic bear still had the original heart-shaped Ty swing tags clipped to their ears.
Lillian beamed. ‘I told you I have lots of babies.’
‘You certainly do, Lillian,’ I said, giving myself a mental one-handed slap to the forehead and wishing that all mysteries were so easily solved.
The tables had been cleared of everything but our drink glasses and bowls of Chex Party Mix. Halo, Lillian’s gold-winged white angel bear was reclining in my lap when Barbara Jean announced, ‘And now for my final number …’
To quiet the groans of protest she paused, grinned and held up a hand. ‘Sorry we have to leave, but we have a plane to catch in the morning. You’ve been a great audience, and to show my appreciation, here’s a little ballad I’ve written especially for you. It’s called “Tell Me Your Name.”’ She snapped her fingers, gave the downbeat, ‘Hit it, boys!’ and sang: ‘Tell me your name if you love me, don’t make me try to guess. I know I parked my car, somewhere not too far. I think I’ll make it home if I walk west.’
As the song continued, Barbara Jean strolled through the audience, carrying the mic. ‘Our shelves are always jammed. We buy in bulk at Sam’s, because we can’t remember what we’ve got,’ she sang as she paused in front of me before moving on.
Paul nudged me with his elbow. ‘She’s got you pegged, Hannah.’
‘Shhhh,’ I hissed, elbowing him back.
As Barbara Jean continued, ‘Though your name escapes me now, I love you anyhow,’ I sought out Paul’s hand and held on tight, trying hard but failing to suppress my laughter.
‘Do you think this song’s a bit insensitive?’ I whispered to my husband in one of the instrumental solos between verses.
‘Are you kidding?’ he whispered back. ‘Look.’
I followed his gaze. Nursing staff clustered in the doorway, hugging themselves, rocking with laughter.
Nancy and Jerry sat side by side at a table for two, holding hands and giggling, whether at the song or each other it was impossible to tell.
Colonel Greene snaked his arm around Christie McSpadden’s shoulders on Day Five of his campaign to help Christie ‘get over her heartbreak.’
Chuck, wearing a checked, short-sleeved button-down shirt and long-sleeved cardigan, totally channeling Ritchie Cunningham from Happy Days, was chatting up one of the bartenders.
A couple of old dears parked near the stage in adjacent wheelchairs sang a song of their own composition, slightly off key.
Even Edith, the lady with the Bible, seemed to be laughing.
Clearly, Barbara Jean was among friends.
After the last notes of the song died away, two of the wait staff scurried about, helping to break down the set so Barbara Jean and her band could stow it away in their van. That done, they began tugging urgently on cables and wires, working them into new configurations. A custodian, hunched over and pushing with both arms, rolled the enormous flat-screen Wii into the room and positioned it near the stage. Additional cables and wires appeared, connecting the screen to an array of tall, black box speakers. One of the waiters, dressed in black jeans and a black turtleneck, sat down behind a control board and began fiddling with the dials.
Karaoke Night at Calvert Colony was about to begin.
Elaine Broering got the ball rolling. Her boots were made for walking, and we’d better watch out.
Tyson Bennett, like Frank Sinatra, stood tall, faced it all, and did it his way.
I smiled to myself. So true.
Tyson handed the mike off to the receptionist who stumbled her way through ‘I’m a Believer,’ which was popular at least two decades before the poor young woman had been born.
The party was in full swing when Paul brushed his lips against my cheek and whispered in my ear, ‘I think it’s time to go.’
But something had caught my eye. ‘Wait, Paul! Look over there!’
Halfway across the room, Jerry had gotten to his feet, taken Nancy’s hand and was tugging on it, urging her to join him up on the stage. She shook her head but he tugged harder, and she shrugged and finally got up, too. There was no telling what would happen next.
While Nancy stood with her back to the audience, nervously wringing her hands, Jerry had a brief consultation with the DJ, which seemed to satisfy him. Then he grasped Nancy by the upper arms and slowly turned her around until she was facing into the spotlight.
He leaned into the microphone. ‘Ready?’
She giggled. ‘Ready whenever you are.’
‘I’m ready.’
‘You go first.’
‘No, you.’
I was beginning to worry that this exchange would go on forever when the DJ flipped a switch, the music started and the words to the song, in white letters so large they could be seen from outer space, began scrolling up the screen. The song was a long-ago classic by Sonny and Cher.
‘Babe,’ Je
rry sang, ‘I’ve got you babe.’
‘I’ve got you babe,’ Nancy sang in reply. The two sang the familiar refrain together, twice, three times. When they got to the part about kissing goodnight and holding tight and not letting go, well, I have to admit that I completely lost it.
Paul handed me his napkin and I buried my face in it, sobbing.
‘I guess we’ll stick around a little longer, then,’ he said, signaling the server that his wine glass required attention.
‘We need to make an appointment with Hutch,’ I said as I drove Paul home.
Paul laid a hand on my knee. ‘Why? Thinking of divorce?’
‘After your performance tonight, I should.’ One of the residents – an impeccably dressed woman who was well past her ninetieth birthday – had taken a shine to my husband, handed off the karaoke microphone to him and he’d spent several unsteady minutes wasting away in Margaritaville looking for a lost shaker of salt.
‘What was I to do?’ Paul drawled. ‘As the song says, there’s always a woman to blame.’
‘That’s why I relieved you of the car keys, stud muffin.’
‘Why do we need to consult Hutch, then?’ Paul wondered. ‘Now that the museum is going to return the paintings to Izzy and her family, what else is there to talk about?’
‘This has nothing to do with paintings, Paul. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about those advance directives we signed, gosh, over ten years ago now, back when we both thought I was going to croak.’
Paul squeezed my knee. ‘Hush, Hannah. I never thought that breast cancer was going to get the better of you. I’ve never known such a fighter.’
‘I have excellent doctors.’ I turned right at the intersection of Bay Ridge and Forest Drive and headed into Eastport.
‘I’m sure Emily can’t even imagine that her aged parental units are still having sex,’ I continued as we sailed through the green light at the Eastport Shopping Center. ‘But, I’d like to add a clause to our advance directives that makes sure that if we end up in a nursing home, nobody will make us stay in separate rooms or get in our way when we decide to have sex. Because …’ I paused. ‘I’m quite sure that I’m going to want to have sex with you even if I have no idea who you are.’ I reached over and patted his cheek. ‘You’re a handsome son of a gun, you know.’
‘You’re not so bad looking yourself,’ he said, nuzzling my neck.
I swatted him away and adopted a more serious tone. ‘And, should I shuffle off this mortal coil before you, I want you to know that it’s OK if you want to have a girlfriend. I’ll hate her, of course, but it’s OK.’
‘No thank you,’ Paul drawled. ‘You’d come back to haunt me.’
I beamed a smile at him. ‘You can count on that, sweetheart.’
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