SEAL's Second Chance (A Navy SEAL Brotherhood Romance)
Page 44
“I wish I didn’t have to ever leave,” he whispered.
“Me too,” I agreed.
I knew my eyes were about to well up with tears, and I didn’t want to ruin the mood. I pushed my face into his hard chest and snuggled my body into his. I couldn’t stand the thought of him leaving, but I knew he would, in ninety days, give or take.
Chapter Seven
It had been an entire week since Silas had arrived, and I was still floating on cloud nine. He worked around the farm while I was at work, helping my mom with chores, and finishing up projects I hadn’t had time to do myself.
“So, things with Silas are pretty good?” Kayla asked as she locked up the shop.
“They couldn’t be better,” I replied.
Every time I thought about how great things were going, I got a lump in my throat that I couldn’t swallow.
“Mom said he’s been really helpful,” she smiled.
I nodded.
I knew my mom missed having a man around the farm. Since Dad had passed, we’d had help, but never anyone long-term. She’d thought she could handle it all on her own, but as she grew older, the work grew harder.
“He finished my office,” I boasted. “Grandma’s old sign is on the wall overlooking my desk. It’s perfect. He’s perfect.”
“You say that like that’s a bad thing,” she laughed.
“It is,” I groaned.
I knew everything being so perfect, him being so perfect, was just going to make it harder when he left. It was going to be even harder if he didn’t come back.
Kayla patted me on the back and offered up a warm smile. I knew she understood. We’d talked about my fears of getting too close to Silas. She couldn’t do anything, except comfort me. She knew my fears were legitimate.
Silas was in the greenhouse when I arrived home. “Hey, you,” I said, sneaking up behind him.
He turned, gripped me around the waist, and pulled me into his chest. “Damn, I’ve missed you,” he growled.
I giggled as he kissed my neck. His grip tightened around my waist and my feet left the ground as he lifted me onto the potting table.
“What have you been doing in here?” I asked, wrapping my arms loosely around his broad shoulders.
“Working on a scent for your men’s line,” he answered.
“Really?” I asked, shocked that he was taking such an interest in my work.
“Yeah,” he said proudly.
“What did you come up with?” I asked.
“Well. I like the lavender and mint. The citrus and melon isn’t bad either,” he said.
I stared into his eyes, watching them dance as he spoke.
My heart swelled in my chest. I knew I was falling for this man.
“Are you listening to me?” he laughed.
I wasn’t. He had been talking about the combinations he’d tried, and all I could do was stare into those beautifully mysterious eyes.
I leaned in, kissing him gently on the lips, letting my body fall into his and my mind fall blank of any doubt, worry, or fear.
His hands grew aggressive, sliding down the back of my shorts. “You’re gonna make my plants blush,” I teased.
He growled playfully, biting at my neck as he pulled me in closer. “I’m hungry.”
I giggled. “Well, let’s go make dinner,” I said, sliding from the table and into his arms.
Silas kept good on his promise to cook for me, preparing steaks, lasagna, and even a chicken parmesan that was so good I woke up in the middle of the night to eat the leftovers.
Tonight, he had shrimp on the counter and a package of fresh pasta. It was the dinner I’d made on our first video date. “You don’t have to cook. I just want you to show me how to make it,” he said sweetly.
Cooking with Silas was much more fun than cooking alone. “I could get used to this,” I said as we finished our meal, and cleared the table.
“That’s what I’m hoping for,” he grinned, leaning in to kiss my cheek.
“That’s just cruel. You’ll make me miserable when you leave,” I teased.
“I’ll be back,” he whispered in my ear.
“I hope so,” I admitted, kissing his neck softly.
“I need a shower,” he groaned, pulling at my waist.
“It’s all yours,” I replied.
“Come with me,” he insisted, sucking my earlobe into his mouth.
I giggled from the tickle, squirmed in his arms, and pulled away.
“I have to get some stuff packaged,” I apologized, shoving my bottom lip out to pout.
“Baby,” he groaned, grinding his body into mine.
I could feel the hardness in his jeans pressing into me. My body fell limp in his arms at the thought of him making love to me. “I can’t,” I argued, pulling back from the trance he was putting me into. “Even with your help tonight, I still won’t get it all done,” I explained.
“I understand,” he whispered, and left me with a gentle kiss on the lips.
I loaded the last plate into the dishwasher and grabbed my phone from the counter. Silas left his phone on the table, and as I moved toward it, it lit up.
My heart raced as I reached for it, opening the screen to see a beautiful blonde’s picture next to a text that simply read, “Hey, Lover.”
Her name was Brenda. The beautiful blonde woman that Silas was obviously seeing was named Brenda.
It felt like a vise had been placed on my heart, squeezing it so tightly that it was ready to burst. Who was she? Lover? They obviously were sleeping together. How could I’ve been so stupid?
I sat down on the couch, holding Silas’s phone in my hands. A part of me wanted to go through it, reading texts, checking e-mails, and looking at his saved pictures. But the other part, the rational part, said to stop.
I placed the phone on the coffee table and waited for the shower to stop. When the water shut off, my heart ached. How was I going to approach this?
Silas came out into the living room, a towel loosely wrapped around his chiseled waist. He leaned over, smelling of the mint shampoo I’d made, and kissed me on the neck.
“You okay, babe?” he asked after I didn’t react to his kiss.
“You missed a text,” I told him.
He walked around to the front of the couch and picked up his phone. His ass looked like two boulders shoved into that towel. Damn, he was hot. Stop it, Lucy. He’s a liar, a cheat. He’s not hot.
His face grew concerned when he read the text that came through while he was in the shower. “Who’s Brenda?” I asked calmly.
I was fighting back tears as I waited for his response.
“I dated her,” he said, taking the seat next to me.
“I didn’t mean to look at your phone. I didn’t snoop, even though that text made me want to. It just lit up,” I explained.
“It’s okay. I have nothing to hide from you, Lucy,” he said.
“She called you ‘lover.’ Are you still dating her?” I asked.
“No. I haven’t talked to her in a couple weeks,” he said.
The tears I fought to keep back fell from my eyes and down my cheeks. “A couple weeks ago?” I asked, realizing that was when we were supposedly dating.
“Yes,” he said softly.
“So, you were dating her when you met me?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said. “I swear I ended it when I found out how much I liked you, which was almost instantly.”
“If you ended it, why is she texting you, and calling you lover?” I demanded.
Silas wiped the tears streaming down my face. “I swear to you, I ended it. She wasn’t exactly stable. I should’ve ended it sooner, before I even met you, but I was lonely. I was stupid,” he said.
“You promise?” I asked.
“Yes. You can look on my phone if you want. I sent her texts two weeks ago telling her I met someone, and that we were done,” he insisted. “I have nothing to hide. I promise you that.”
Something about Silas
made me believe him. He was an honorable man, not a liar or a cheat. It wasn’t my business what he was doing before me, and why should he have ended it with her just because we talked once or twice on the phone?
“I’m sorry,” I said, wiping the rest of my tears from my face.
“No. Don’t be. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. It just wasn’t date talk, ya know?” he chuckled nervously. “We never got much time to talk, and I didn’t want to spend it talking about anyone else but us,” he added with a smile. He leaned over, kissing me on the cheek. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I didn’t mean to overreact,” I replied with a soft chuckle.
“So, what do you want, Lucy?”
I paused. I knew what I wanted. I wanted him. I wanted him to not leave, and to stay here forever. This last week was perfect, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.
My heart was attached. I’d fallen for this man. I still wasn’t sure I could handle the distance, not only for the nine months, but possibly for years if he decided to stay in the military. I couldn’t uproot my life, and he couldn’t uproot his. I had to face the possibility of this not having a future.
“I don’t know,” I lied.
I could see the disappointment in his eyes. I wanted to throw my arms around him and tell him that wasn’t the truth. I wanted to tell him what I really wanted, and that it was him, just him.
Chapter Eight
I leaned against my counter, watching Silas interact with the customers. He was so easygoing that it was impossible not to like him.
After nearly two weeks, we’d grown extremely close, and the more I looked at him, the more I realized, there was no way I could let him leave without telling him how I really felt about him, about us.
“Thank you for your service,” Mrs. White said, smiling at Silas like he was a giant lollipop.
He leaned down, kissed her hand, and made her blush as he told her it was his honor.
He’d spent almost an hour talking to Mr. Gentry about the war, and another hour with Mr. Tillis talking about planes. He seemed to fit in so perfectly, not just with my family, with me, but with my entire life.
“Can you grab the large bag of flour in the kitchen for Kayla,” I asked him once he was finally free.
“Sure thing, gorgeous.”
Kayla grinned as she watched me, watch him walk into the back. “You’re in love,” she teased.
I blushed instantly. My hand waved in her direction to shush her before he heard. I couldn’t deny it. It was true.
“Oh God, here comes Jimmy,” Kayla said, frowning in my direction.
He strutted through the front door like he owned the place with a huge grin on his face. “Hey, Juicy Lucy,” he called out just as Silas made his way from the back.
“Hey, Jimmy,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“I need something to make my junk smell good,” he said with a laugh.
“That’s impossible,” Kayla joked.
Silas gripped my arm as I started to walk to my counter. “Who’s that?” he asked.
“My ex. He’s an idiot, but harmless,” I insisted.
He loosened his grip and I walked over to my counter. Jimmy was picking up each product, sniffing it carefully, and then setting it back down. “It needs to be strong,” he laughed.
“Jimmy, none of this stuff is made for your junk,” I groaned.
“You remember what my junk smells like, right?” he asked.
I didn’t want to answer that. I looked to Silas, who was already looking disturbed. I offered a nervous smile and then turned back to Jimmy. I’d told Silas about him, about how crude and immature he was. It didn’t bother me so much, but knowing it was irritating Silas was hard to swallow.
“If you don’t remember, I can give ya a whiff, for old times’ sake,” Jimmy laughed.
A hand slammed down on the counter, hard and forcefully. The eagle tattoo on the wrist made it clear it was Silas’s without having to look up.
“You need to take your disrespectful mouth somewhere else before it gets smashed in, son,” Silas scorned.
“Woah. When did you get a rent-a-sailor for the shop?” Jimmy chuckled.
Silas’s chest puffed out, and his breathing picked up pace. I watched his nostrils flaring, and his eyes turning black, and I knew he was about to blow. “Silas!” I called out.
He glared at me and then turned his attention back to Jimmy. “What’s it gonna be?” he demanded.
“Jimmy, just—please leave,” I pleaded.
He smirked in my direction. “I’ll go. But only because you asked me too, Juicy Lucy,”
A couple little old ladies that were at Kayla’s counter walked out when Silas slammed his fist down. I was embarrassed, and infuriated. “Why did you cause a scene?” I asked as Jimmy left the store.
“He was being rude and disrespectful to you,” Silas demanded.
“I can handle him. You ran off customers with your outburst,” I scorned.
Silas huffed and took in a deep breath. “Wow. Okay, so it’s fine for someone to ask you to smell their junk?” he laughed angrily.
“Of course not, but you were being ridiculous,” I scoffed.
“Yeah. Whatever,” he laughed, and pulled away from my grip.
I watched him storm out of the shop, my heart breaking knowing he was angry and hurt.
“Why don’t you go after him?” Kayla suggested.
“I think I better let him cool off,” I replied.
Two hours passed and we were locking up. I still hadn’t seen Silas, and even though I sent a text, it wasn’t responded to.
“Good luck,” Kayla said as she waved to me getting in my car.
I felt that annoying lump in my throat as I pulled onto my long, dirt lane. Silas’s rental car was parked by my loft, but the trunk was popped open.
My heart sank deep into my chest as I parked beside his car. I peeked into the trunk as I walked toward my loft; one of his large canvas bags was already packed inside. I rushed inside to find Silas stuffing his last suitcase. He jerked the case sideways, zipping it with a swift motion. “You’re leaving?” I asked.
“I’m going to the hotel,” he snapped. “I think we need some time apart.”
He stood there, suitcase in hand, his eyes dark and unforgiving, and his lips tight. I watched his fist clench around the handle of his suitcase. It was obvious he was still fuming about Jimmy, and about me. Maybe I could’ve handled it differently, but it was my business. I’d never had anyone swoop in to rescue me. I was always able to handle my own conflicts. Why did it infuriate me so badly that Silas wanted to protect me?
I just stood there, speechless. I knew I needed to say something, but I wasn’t sure what. “You’re not going back home, are you?” I asked.
“I don’t have a home. But no. I’m not going back to work,” he snarled.
It had felt like home since Silas had been here. It was the best two weeks of my life. I knew this was what I wanted, that he was what I wanted. But he was so mad, I knew now wasn’t the time to tell him.
“Everything’s just been moving so fast,” he said calmly.
That was one thing I could agree with. Things were moving fast, lightning fast.
“I know what I want, Lucy. You’re the one who doesn’t,” he said softly.
My heart swelled in my chest. It felt like this was the moment. I was ready to tell him how I truly felt, how I’ve always felt.
“And I know what I don’t want. I don’t want a woman who allows another man to disrespect her in front of me,” he snapped.
And the moment was gone.
“I didn’t want to be here when you got back. I just came to get my things,” he said.
“Silas, wait,” I said, reaching for his arm as he passed me.
“I don’t wanna do this now, Lucy,” he said, pushing past me and out the front door.
I held myself together until I heard the door slam. My tears fell violently down my cheeks, sobs s
hook my chest, and my heart felt as though it would explode from the pain.
What just happened? Did Silas just break up with me?
Chapter Nine
I barely slept, and all day at work, Kayla kept pushing for details about Silas and me. I didn’t have any. He hadn’t called, he didn’t respond to my text, and even though I expected to see him at the shop that day, he didn’t show.
“Are you okay?” Kayla asked as we closed for the day.
I nodded, fighting back my tears.
“Why don’t you go to him? Tell him how you really feel?” she suggested.
I knew if I’d only told him when he asked the first time, none of this would be happening.
“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” I asked.
“Then he doesn’t want to see you. But you have to at least try,” she urged.
I hugged my sister and rushed to my car. The hotel wasn’t far from the bakery, so I decided to go straight there instead of going home first.
Silas’s rental car was parked in the front parking lot. My heart calmed a bit knowing he hadn’t left town. Inside, the clerk was impossible, refusing to give me Silas’s room number. “I can call,” she said with a smirk.
“Fine,” I agreed. “Tell him it’s his home.”
She gave me a strange look and then picked up the phone. I heard her telling Silas that ‘his home’ was here. “Okay, sir,” she said quickly, and hung up.
Her eyes were distant and empty as she chomped on her gum. “Well?” I asked, feeling impatient.
“Room 109,” she said.
Before she could give me directions, I rushed away from the counter and down a long corridor lined with red doors. I found his room, knocked, and felt my nerves unravel as I waited for him to open the door.
I heard him on the other side of the door, sounding like he was scooting something heavy. The door opened, I leapt into his arms without saying a word. I just needed to feel him, to have him hold me.
His arms tightened around me, his head rested on mine, and I heard him let out a long, deep, sigh.